Believe In The Weird and Wild (Star vs. the Forces of Evil x Steven U)

Summary:

All the reels

Star jumped through the skylight, grabbing her brother and hugging him. "YOU'RE ALIVE!" She screamed. "I knew you would be, but it's been a while since we saw you and-"

"Star … you're doing … the hug thing …" Her blue brother replied.

"Better death by hugs than the cold vacuum of space!" She answered as she squeezed him even tighter. "You cute little dummy, you know better than to do something stupid like that by yourself! What do I always say?"

"If we're…going to act dumb….act…dumb…together…" Steven wheezed out.

"There you go." She let go of him, patting him on the back. "Alright, where's Kelly?"

"I got out of the way the moment you caught fire reaching terminal velocity and looked like you were gonna crash into us." The girl deadpanned.

"Oh right, you're here too." Star groaned. "Well, I'm at least glad you two didn't go crazy and kill each other. That was the mostly likely situation we thought would happen." They gave nervous laughs she chose to ignore.

The Sun Incinerator flew by, Marco jumping out and looking around. "Wow … I don't believe it."

"What, that we didn't go full native and kill each other?" Steven guessed with an eyeroll.

"No, you went this long on a wild planet without making an animal companion."

"We did…if you call dinner a companion." Kelly patted her stomach. "There's no edible vegetation here, so that was our only option."

"It's times like this I'm glad you stopped considering going vegetarian." Star nodded to her brother.

"Wait, was that a legitimate choice you were making, or was it because of Brad?" Kelly turned to Steven.

"Can't it be both?" Steven answered.

"Oh, I don't mind. The less Brad you are, the better." The woolet gave her brother an affection rub on the face that was way too close for two exes to be doing to each other.

"So … since we're on the surface, do you guys mind if I try out the horse Miraculous to get us home?"

Star sighed, nodding to her boyfriend. "Fine, you can give it one go."

"Awesome!" He pulled out a pair of sunglasses, an adorable tiny floating horse accompanying him. "Kaalik, you ready?"

"Depends. Are you famous or glorious?" The tiny little horse said with a lightly snooty tone that actually added to the cuteness.

"I'm famous in another dimension." Marco said with some hesitation.

"Fine, close enough I guess." The little horse creature rolled their eyes. "Just say 'Kaalik, Full Gallop, and the power of transportation is yours."

"Alright then, Kaalik, Full Gallop!" The little horse flew into Marco's glasses, a light flying across their body and forming a … very tight spandex on their body. "Wow, superhero costume!" Marco did a few flips in the air, before coming into a very cheesy but slightly endearing pose. "I am…The Equestrian!"

"If we ever meet a species calling themselves that, I reserve the right to laugh." Kelly spoke up. "Now come on, try out your superpower."

"Right." Marco nodded. "First, pull out my tool." They pulled out a horseshoe. "Then, think about the coordinates … and finally, Voyage!" They threw the now glowing object, a blue gateway opening. "Yes, I did it!"

HONK HONK

The entire group screamed as a semi trailer was close to running straight into the portal. "Ahhh! Ice storm Instant Freeze!" Star shouted in panic and froze the truck in place. "Next time, Marco, stick to your scissors."

"Yep, no argument there." Marco sighed as he mopily walked through the portal.

"So I'm guessing Lar's is going to stay in space?" Steven asked.

"Just for a little bit. I told him Sadie's having her first concert later this week, and he said he'll come back then." Star answered. "Either way, mission accomplished."

"Good, because there's a lot we need to talk about if things are finally slowling down." Kelly grabbed her brother's hand, and the two of them looked at each other affectionately…giving each other the looks she and Marco would give each other.

"Oh come one, really!?" Star said, exasperated. "You're dating again?!"

"I didn't give you trouble when you dated Tom again." Steven countered.

"No, you gave Tom trouble, when you backed him into a dark hallway and said how'd you gut him if he hurt me."

"It was just an average guy chat, like the one I gave Marco." Steven waved off. "And don't worry, we're going to make sure we don't make the same mistakes again."

"Yeah, we're going to see experts for this stuff." Kelly nodded.

"Oh come on, now you're going for therapy!?" Star really was too late.

"Don't be ridiculous, I'm not evil." Steven reassured Star. "We're just going to talk to the people we know have the most experience with this sort of thing."

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Mable finished her board, presenting it to the group. "Welcome to the 'how to have a decent relationship' course, with Mabel!" She shouted, blasting off fireworks filled with glitter.

"IT'S IN MY EYES!!" Someone screamed.

"That seems a bit..excessive." Kelly muttered as she sat on a desk right next to her former ex, now current boyfriend, Steven. What a lucky girl.

"Don't worry, that's why my teaching assistant is here to help balance things out!" She brought out the glitter fireworks again before throwing down a smoke bomb with rainbow gas.

From the smokey cloud, and a bright beam of light came another one of her new friends as well as her partner in shipping, Luz. "Thank you, thank you for having me here today! Just follow our easy steps and the awkwardness of dating shall fade like a bad memory!"

"Really?" Steven asked with hopeful eyes.

"No, but they'll die down enough they'll never be noticable!" She exclaimed. "As someone who has crashed and burned practically every relationship she's ever had, I am more than capable of telling you what to avoid!" Mabel cheered at her own experience.

"And as someone who's in a stable relationship, I can personally tell you the ins and outs on how to keep it healthy, even when you're worlds apart." Luz humbly bowed as they presented the chart. "I also brought my own girl as a visual aid. Come on out, Amity!"

A girl with purple hair and pointed ears came out, nervously waving to the small audience they had. "You know Luz, when I said I wanted to be more involved with your human life, this isn't exactly what I was thinking."

"Oh, so you don't want to demonstrate proper kissing technique?" The latina girl smirked.

"…Use me as you wish, oh great teacher." Amity's entire face glowed red.

"Oh, so witches just blush their entire face instead of cheeks, who knew?" Kelly shrugged.

"Alright, first thing first, lies." Mabel wrote the word on the board. "Never tell them to your partner, ever. You can tell white lies to other people all you want, but never to your romantic partner."

"If you are ever caught in the middle of a lie, a sign that you're a great significant other is noticing when they do." Luz continued on. "There are many different reasons WHY people lie, sometimes they just want to avoid sensitive subjects, and it's best to give space."

"But more often than not, telling the truth no matter what in the end will be both rewarding and stress relieving." Mabel added. "For example, I lied to one of my past crushes, an entire boy band, about their manager still being at large in order to keep them locked in my room forever, and it ruined everything between us." Everyone looked at her funny. "Yes, that really happened, and I regret it, I was young and foolish back then."

"Wasn't that like a year ago?" Steven asked.

"Like I said, young and foolish." Mabel nodded. My

"And when I lied about knowing two spells, Amity almost got eaten by a slither beast." Luz gave the girl a hug. "Not to mention I never told her about my promise to my mom."

"Huh, have we ever actually lied to each other?" Kelly asked

"I think you lied to me about the Stelly addiction, and I lied about not risking myself." 

"Lesson two." She once more wrote on the board. "Comfortability. There is a limit to how fast or what moment your partner is willing to go. It's best to just start small, and wait for any form of acceptance or denial. My bad experience was a bunch of Gnomes trying to marry me after tying me down, uncomfortable as heck!"

"And I was too eager to try and be Amity's friend in the beginning, and I came off as more of a pushy jerk than the new girl in town trying to be nice." Luz pointed to herself

"Not to mention how overeager I was at trying to impress Luz's mom. I was sweating bullets trying to do everything perfectly."

"If you want specifics, then here's the affection chart." She handed off a huge list on top of their heads. "When it comes to hugging, limit it to secluded areas, and best to do it from the front. Hugging from the back can give off the impression you're trying too hard to hold on to them." As Mabel talked, Luz gave a live demonstration to the flustered Amity. 

"From the side is mostly done for casual events, front to front is for intimacy." Luz carried on. "Hand holding can be done publicly, but be mindful of people around you and only do mouth to mouth kissing on special occasions."

"Our friends have full makeout sessions on the beach and in the donut shop, please tell them this." Steven pleaded.

"Will do, Stev-o." Mabel saluted. "Next on the list, space. If you want to keep the fire going strong, plan at least ONE day during the week where you both just do your own thing on your own time. At most, only give a quick text to tell them good morning or good night."

"Although make sure to not use emojis." Amity spoke up from the hug. "... Not all of them are decipherable." Luz pouted at that.

"I mostly just use the cat ones, but I know what you mean." Steven nodded.

"This is not only a good way to get rid of any clingy tendencies, it shows your loved one that you trust them to take care of themselves." Luz continued. 

"I absolutely trust her to take care of herself." Steven shrugged.

"Didn't we just live on a moon that begged otherwise?" Kelly asked.

"No comment." Hah, this guy was hilarious.

"Last but not least, outside forces." Mabel drew a vial on the chart and crossed it out. "There are many ways the universe itself will just give you a bad time."

"How do you counter that one?" Steven asked.

"No clue, apparently Phineas and Ferb are outsourcing that problem to a kid named Milo Murphy, but so far the KND keep blowing up whenever they get near him." Luz explained.

"So until then, trust that you'll always care about each other no matter the circumstances, and for the love of all things good and decent, Never, EVER use a love potion! If you even dream of it, you might as well end the relationship there."

"Of course not, even Star's not reckless enough to mess with love magic." Steven waved off. "The Butterfly history is full of bad examples on that front alone."

"Yeah, what kinda crazy moron would try to force love on someone else?" Kelly asked with a laugh.

"…." Mabel was about to clarify, but Luz tapped her shoulder and shook her head. Best to keep the love god incident quiet for the moment. "So, we'll give you two one week, then come back and see how you're doing."

"Thanks guys, you've really given us a lot to think about." Steven smiled and lightly bowed his head. "The only other people we can talk to about this stuff is Star, but she's iffy about me and Kelly, and Chat Noir, but he doesn't seem that…useful on the subject."

"I dunno, if Ladybug wasn't so into that one rich guy she'd probably fall for him right away." Kelly shrugged. "She can be such a simp when his name comes up."

"We actually have two seperate classes for both of them later today on obsessiveness." Luz went down the list of people they needed a good nudge in the head. After the heroes, it would be number four and Isabella on the art of confession.

"Do you think we need that class?" Amity asked.

"Nah, we're perfectly fine. It's not like I lay awake at night needing your kisses." Luz laughed awkwardly.

"I'll schedule you for next week." Mabel jotted down on her notepad, before turning to her current students of love. "Call me if anything comes up, like if you two give each other cute pet names, I'd like to be in the loop."

"Understood Ms Pines!" Kelly saluted. "Now if you excuse us, we're gonna go see dog copter two, the barkqual."

"I will never understand human culture." Amity rolled her eyes.

"You don't have to understand something to enjoy it." Luz nudged the witch. "Otherwise we wouldn't be here as we are now."

"That is true." Mabel was glad to finally see her match making skills finally be put to good use, now if only they worked for herself for once.

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Greg double checked the listings. "Alright, this week, we're going to be playing for the newly opened bakery downtown." Where his carwash used to be … "I managed to rent out a full stage for the performance, so if you guys want to have a specific theme, now's the time to say what you want."

"You rock Mr Universe!" The young girl known as Jenny shouted out. "Man, when Steven said his dad was a rock master, this was not what I was expecting."

"I wouldn't go as far as a master per say, I just know the business pretty well." Greg blushed just a little. "Better you learn now than on the road on your own."

"Eh, I think you're a managing master, way better than Marty." Sour Cream shrugged.

"I hope so, that's basically the bare minimum I strive for." He laughed a little awkwardly. Hard to imagine this was the same kid he would babysit for Valdilia with Rose all those years ago. "Anyways, important rules to remember; don't expect the audience to carry you if you plan on stage diving, you're more likely to end up with a broken nose and a lawsuit."

"Well there goes my evening plans." Buck gave a sigh, but combined it with an obvious smirk. Kinda reminded him of Garnet in a way.

"If someone in the audience suddenly climbs on the stage and you're not prepared, continue to act like they're not there and wait for security to drag them off."

"That's what I do for everyone when I play." Osckar said, testing some of his keys.

"If one of your instruments becomes disconnected, signal the group so they can cover you while you have time to fix the issue."

"Hope that doesn't happen." Jenny said.

"And lastly, if any of you start feeling any kind of stage fright, a little trick I learned that helped me was to close my eyes as I sang, or look to the sky. The audience won't notice and it helps you imagine you're somewhere more comfortable."

"I am comfortable when I am screaming at all who oppose me about my life's problems!!" … He never remembered Barb's kid being so aggressive.

"Alright, that should be everything. All that I have left to say is make sure to stay hydrated with all the headlights shining above you, and no matter what anyone's reactions are, just remember to have fun." He chuckled. "No matter where this leads, right here, right now, the first show is a once in a lifetime experience. Just remember to make it a fun and memorable experience."

"Will do Mr Universe!" Everyone shouted jovially, going around and joking. After being out of the music business for so long, it felt nice to laugh it up with them, enjoying the innocent fun times of the first few gigs.

He used the moment to sneak out the back door and take a mild breather. "Looks like Mr. Universe finally found his groove again." He suddenly turned, and saw Camila right behind him, smirking. "You looked like you were enjoying yourself."

"Yeah … is it sad that most of the people in my friend group are all in or below high school?" There were the gems, but they fell more along the lines of family than friends.

"That's more than my friend group. I was more busy with studying and my career to really focus on that sort of thing. Part of why I tried to push Luz into having more friends." Camila responded with a light sigh.

"We should probably try a couples night with the bunchoys or something." He noted as he gave the woman a small hug.

"It would give us a chance to catch up with our children. I've barged into the living room five times when Luz was left alone with Amity. They get way too intimate.

"Oof, that doesn't sound pleasant." Greg laughed. "Maybe it makes up for whenever they hear about a parents bed life, pretty sure Steven is close to snapping about Roses."

"It's a cycle of embarrassment that always makes it its way back around, no matter how much we dread it." Camila chuckled as she planted a light peck on his cheek. "Doesn't mean we can't still enjoy ourselves every once in a while." Truer words have never been spoken.

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Garnet stared down at the defenseless little kittens, fur wet with rain, staring at her for hope. And with infinity she still couldn't see a way to help them. They were stuck … too pathetic to do anything. Every path leads to disaster. No matter what, I'm still too weak. Every time a disaster came, she somehow managed to spit apart, and she was very well on the verge of doing so right now.

"Hey Garnet!" They heard Star's voice, turning to see her approach behind a tree. "Pearl got worried when you said you were having a 'random day', so she sent me to find …" She paused. "Why are you hugging kittens in the rain?"

"I …" She shook, not from the cold, but fear. "I tried to train my future vision, see the unexpected more often than not … to try and actually act and change the future I see …" She held herself tight.

"Is that why you were working at the Big Donut earlier?" Star raised her eyebrows questioningly.

"Yes … I tried to do everything I didn't see in a vision for … I'm so off course Star, nothing shows up."

"I mean, there's only so much that can happen in a donut shop, so there's one problem there." Star commented. "Did you think just…being there would make for a brand new future?"

"I went everywhere." She continued. "I went to pose for paintings, ate food, chased these guys … now i'm here, in the rain … no better for anything." They muttered. "You say it all the time … future vision isn't worth a dime … we just keep facing unpredictable or unavoidable problems one after the other … and when the Diamonds come we won't be able to do anything about it." She looked down. "We'll be as defenseless and scared as these little guys."

Star sighed, rubbing her hand against her face as she let out a mildly loud groan. "Did you see any future where we won when Jasper's handship came down?"

"No. I saw we got captured and that was it." She answered bluntly.

"Did you see a future where I somehow came back from the brink of death and turned Toffee into mush?" Star kept going."

"No..I saw we would become mindless monsters and that was the end…"

"And did you see a future where we stopped the Cluster?"

"I actually did see a few on that front." Garnet recalled. "Although the most prominent one for some reason was you merging with it as a hive mind."

"... Really glad we avoided that one." Star spoke with a bit of sweat. "And when Mr. Universe got kidnapped, you said it yourself that we were going to fail. But not only did we get Steven's dad back, we also found our mom. Tell me, could you have accounted for ANY of that happening during that mission?"

"That's the problem." Garnet admitted. "It's SUPPOSED to be my job. I'm there to look out for everyone, to make sure we can get out of the situation as scratch free as possible, to keep an eye out for all forms of danger … what's the point of seeing in the future when everyone else can react better than you can?"

"Okay, no one has been 'reacting' to any situation well at all, or have you not been paying attention for the past two years?" Star snorted. "Trust me, I get being frustrated when you're constantly told or shown over and over again that something is pointless, or what you do doesn't matter." Star sighed as she kneeled down and placed an arm on Garnet's shoulder. "But the reason why I can 'handle' all this stuff is that, when the chips are down, and all hell breaks loose, I double down and push forward even harder, and I break whatever future fate says will come, rules be damned."

"But…how can you be sure that everything will be fine? That everything works out?"

"It won't." Star said bluntly. "We work through it. And even when things are getting bleak…I've learned to have something ready inside of me that's better than any magic or spell that I could ever come up with." She smiled. "I choose to have faith, faith that my brother's optimism will win out, faith that the kids on Mewni will at least be better than their parents. And faith in myself that I'll be able to do right by everyone that's supported me this far."

"... I think we've lost a lot of faith over the years … maybe I could learn how to get it back."

"You and me both, sister. It's too easy for people like us to let that happen." Star said as she picked up one of the baby cats. "So instead of looking and waiting for the future, live the present, and make the future you want."

Garnet absorbed the words, and looked down at the cats. "I want a future where we take in all of these cats."

"Wouldn't be the first pet … Lion would probably be miffed at all the new heads to take care of though." Star chuckled. "Marco's slightly allergic to some, wonder if the Noceda's wouldn't mind taking one or two."

"You've grown up a lot, Star. I'm glad I get to see it."

"Someone has to be the sane adult other than Mr Universe." She shrugged with a smirk. "Now come on, this rain is gonna … gonna … achoo!" She sneezed with enough force to blow a good acre of forest to dust. "Ugh, I have to get this dark magic thing under control."

"Don't see that happening for a while, so good luck changing that future."

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Marco awkwardly stood next to Lars. "So, are you excited to see what Sadie's done since you've left?" He asked the boy.

"Half of me's super glad..the other half wants to hide in a closet for the rest of the night." Lar's admitted as he tried to cover his face. "It's so weird…when everyone manages to move on when you're gone. I don't know if I can really fit in here now."

"Oh come on, she's not gonna bite." Marco snorted.

Sadie chose that moment to jump onto stage, black makeup on her face as she gave a scream into the mic. "HERE'S OUR COVER OF 'EAT THE RICH'!!"

"...Are you sure?" Lars asked, a light pink blush forming on his face as he shook his head. "It feels like she's planning someone's murder."

"So she became an emo rock girl that sings out all her angst and frustrations. You became a space pirate. These things happen." Marco patted the pink teen on the back. "You too will definitely have a lot to talk about now."

"Hmm." He hummed, watching the show, before his eyes widened. "I guess I'm not the only one." What was that supposed to mean?

"So Lars, what's with the skin tone? Trying a new dye?" Spoke a familiar voice, his brain preparing to fight another mystic stone.

"Nah, I took a visit to the land of the dead. Didn't feel like staying, so I came back." Lar's said with a level of cool and casualness he would have never had a year ago towards one of the school's cool kids.

"Did you happen to see a Jamaican skeleton? He owes me five bucks." Jackie Lynn Tomas snorted.

"No, but when he comes to reap my soul during the next big and dangerous event, I'll be sure to remind him." Lars laughed as he patted Marco on the back. "Well I better go see Sadie's performance up close, good luck with your ex."

"Yeah, you too." He muttered, watching the dude walk away.

"Wow, I went to a country for almost a year, and you made friends with your supposed mortal enemy." Jackie snorted. "What's next, Jeremy and you go out for smoothies?"

"No way in heck." Last he heard about the little snot, his family's business got bought out by some company named Davenport. "It's a recent thing that happened…a rather unexpected thing."

"Dude, with your life, isn't unexpected stuff expected at this point?" She asked with a raised eyebrow.

"It is, but I still expect some form of order within the chaos." Marco pointed out. "There was a set chart of who's redeemable and who isn't. Now I have to reset the list."

"Who knows, maybe everyone is redeemable if you can word it out at the right time in your life." She spoke up. "Then again, I can't say the same if we've never met Hawkmoth in person."

"So, have you ever had crazy stuff happen to you other than the occasional akuma attacks?" He asked his own question.

"I wore the snake Miraculous, found myself strangely invested in the world's most complicated love square, and traveled into cyberspace a few times. All in all, a pretty chill forign exchange student experience." Jackie smirked.

"Glad to hear you had fun." Marco smiled back. "So … I'm dating Star now." He responded, looking at the girl shooting off firework magic.

"About time I say. Congrats." Like the cool girl he remembered her being, she shot him a thumbs up and laughed. "Not going to lie, when I was in Paris, about a tenth of my thoughts were 'hope Marco moves on and doesn't screw it up', you know, with you pulling a Marco and all."

"I know, I know, I was a bad boyfriend.." The one thing he still regretted about the break up.

"Don't give yourself that much credit. You were average at worst." Jackie waved it off. "But you always made me laugh, so take that for what it's worth."

"You were always the coolest girl I knew, so you take that too." He shot back. "... I think our lives getting weird was the best thing to happen to us."

"You started the trend, I just hopped aboard the bandwagon and it stuck." Jackie laughed. "Sadie embraced her inner rebel, Lars is a Pink zombie, the world should just get as weird as us."

"Meh, maybe not the whole world …" He pointed to the flaming wall next to them. "Something needs to be standing when all our fun is over."

"So the safe kid hasn't completely been drained out of you, huh?" Jackie chuckled.

"Probably never will. Who else will remind our friends that despite everything, common sense still exists?"

"Less and less by the day, but that is a good point." His ex turned to the crowd as they watched as Sadie screamed her heart and soul into the mic. "You think we'll be facing something even crazier within the next two years?"

"I'm expecting to face something crazier within the next two months, heck, probably two days given our track record." Marco smirked. "I'm lucky that the only crazy thing that's happened is Steven getting back together with Kelly,"

"They broke up?" She turned to the couple, holding hands as they cheered 'Sadie Killer and the Suspects'. "Would've never guessed." Jacki shrugged. "Anyways, I'll be back in Paris again within the week, but that doesn't mean we should be strangers. Feel free to come by if you ever want to catch up."

"I will … wanna joyride on a motorcycle dragon?" He offered.

"Hell yeah!" Jackie high fived him. "Let's be hooligans and live on the edge!" Nice to see some things didn't need to be awkward, no matter how much you thought it was.