Cozy Obsession

However, there was no time to continue his thoughts amid the overwhelming pleasure. His movements, as if he intended to engulf Heemin from head to toe, became faster.Heemin plunged back into the vast, deep, and distant sea of Cha Yiheon. Waves of breath, like a crashing tide, engulfed his entire body. Swept away and submerged by him, Heemin lost consciousness and collapsed.—— Exam is over. Please stop writing your answers.The proctor’s announcement echoed through the classroom. Heemin put his pencil case, which had been on his desk, into the front pocket of his bag and gathered his things. The final exam was finally over. Now, only enjoying freedom remained.How many nights had he stayed up for this day? Even if he couldn’t be the top of his class, he had aimed for the top 5% to earn a half-scholarship, quitting even his only hobby of reading to focus entirely on the exam.With a light heart, holding the exam paper, answer sheet, and student ID, he stood up from his seat. As he walked forward in line, a student with a standout presence among those going down the stairs caught Heemin’s eye.Even without checking his face, Heemin could easily recognize him due to his distinctive aura. He couldn’t help but smile a little at the sight of the student, who had clearly put extra effort into his appearance today. One might think he was going to a fashion shoot rather than just finishing an exam.As Heemin continued to walk, staring at the back of Yiheon’s head, Yiheon suddenly turned around, as if sensing his gaze. Truly, he had a remarkable ability to notice the slightest presence of others.Still, Heemin was glad to see him more than usual today. That morning, after a brief nap following breakfast, Heemin had barely made it to the classroom. If it hadn’t been for Yiheon’s call, he might have faced the humiliation of receiving a C grade on his transcript, let alone challenging for a scholarship.Feeling guilty for not properly greeting him and being absorbed in the exam, Heemin tried to express his gratitude by waving his hand and giving a bright smile.— Did you do well on the exam?In the quiet atmosphere where students were submitting their answer sheets and checking their ID numbers, Heemin asked Yiheon, moving his lips instead of speaking aloud. He found it odd that Yiheon’s face didn’t look as cheerful as expected.Was the exam not as easy as anticipated?Despite being a subject famous for its easy final exams without a midterm, there were many specific questions, and five out of ten questions were essay-based, making it quite tricky. It seemed he was disappointed with not being satisfied with his final exam.Perhaps it was better to treat lunch. He would also buy dinner. Heemin thought about his bank balance and waited for his turn.— Yiheon! I’m done!After finishing the submission and leaving the classroom, Heemin searched for Yiheon, who was waiting in the hallway. As he glanced around, a familiar deep voice came from behind.— Why didn’t you wear a scarf?— …Huh?He quickly turned around. Yiheon, leaning against the wall by the classroom, approached Heemin, who had his neck exposed.— I told you to dress warmly since it’s cold outside. Your neck looks chilly.— Oh, right. The scarf. I forgot in the rush.Not long ago, Yiheon had given him a navy checkered scarf that he had bought as a “buy one, get one” deal. It was much softer and lighter than the usual scarves Heemin wore, and he had been wrapping it around his neck every day. Today, however, he had only worn a cap in his hurry.— Here, use this.Yiheon removed the scarf he was wearing and wrapped it around Heemin’s neck. Perhaps due to Yiheon’s body warmth embedded in the fabric, Heemin’s neck, which had felt cold from the breeze, instantly warmed up.— Aren’t you cold?— I’m fine. I’m wearing a turtleneck.Yiheon was wearing a thick turtleneck sweater under his parka. Indeed, it was not the kind of outfit that would easily make him catch a cold without a scarf.— Then I’ll just borrow this for now. Until we get to the car.— Keep it on until tomorrow. The sea breeze will be strong. Don’t catch a cold and start coughing again.— …Okay. I will.To celebrate the end of the semester, Yiheon had planned to go car camping at a campsite with a sea view. Though they had planned to set up a tent and sleep in sleeping bags, dealing with the cold outdoors would be the main challenge.He didn’t want to cause trouble on their trip. Adjusting the scarf snugly under his chin, Heemin smiled, and the shadow on Yiheon’s face seemed to clear up with a soft smile.— How was the exam? Did you do well?”— Thanks to you. Thanks for waking me up, Yiheon. I wouldn’t have made it if it weren’t for you. I’ll cover lunch and dinner.As Heemin expressed his gratitude, Yiheon’s large palm rested on his hat-covered head. Yiheon, who habitually patted Heemin’s head, spoke in a calm tone as if there was no need for thanks.— Dinner’s fine; just buy lunch.— You brought all the camping gear. You’ll be driving too.— That’s because I have a thing for gear, and I’m driving since it’s my car. Just get me some cheese ramen and curly fries at the rest stop later.— Is that really enough?— Of course. Who’s buying? It’s more than enough.Heemin had planned to buy a meal at a famous restaurant near the campsite, but Yiheon seemed more tempted by the snacks sold at the rest stop. After all, the real delight of a trip is the rest stop snacks.When they had gone to the valley for a day trip during summer vacation, Yiheon had bought every snack at each rest stop. His insatiable craving for snacks meant that Heemin would have to keep feeding him snacks throughout the trip.— Let’s get going before traffic gets bad.— Yeah.Yiheon, standing next to him, draped an arm over Heemin’s shoulder. He seemed to be in a great mood, humming a tune as they walked.Aside from the school trips in middle and high school, this was their first one-night, two-day trip alone together. It was only natural to be excited about the opportunity to see the sea and chat over drinks all night with a best friend.Heemin, with his arm around Yiheon’s shoulders, stepped out of the building. Burying his face into his scarf against the biting wind, he was enveloped by Yiheon’s signature perfume. It was a masculine musk scent, distinct from the sweet fruity scent of the body wash he used at home.Having always been treated as genderless by his older sisters, Heemin felt oddly like a real man. A tough guy setting up a tent, preparing a sleeping area, and enduring the winter cold while camping.Thinking about the upcoming trip made his heart race with anticipation. He took a deep breath to savor the scent a bit longer and stepped forward.— Look over there, Yiheon. The colors are amazing.The sunset sky, painted red, was at the boundary between day and night. The sea, reflecting the ever-changing hues from pale pink to crimson and violet, filled Heemin’s view.The clouds moving with the wind gave the sky a three-dimensional quality, like brushstrokes creating light and shadow. Heemin was captivated by the indescribable vibrancy and beauty of the sunset, which looked like a painting.— It’s so beautiful.It was the first time Heemin had watched the sunset over the sea for such a long, leisurely time. As he admired the breathtaking natural scenery, Yiheon, sitting next to him, muttered to himself in a voice barely audible.— You’re more…— Huh? What did you just say?— Nothing.— What is it?Yiheon, whose face looked particularly red in the sunset light, gazed intently at Heemin. His unwavering gaze was remarkably serious, focused solely on Heemin.Heemin tilted his head, wondering what could be so weighty. After a long silence, Yiheon finally spoke.— Stand over there. I’ll take a picture.— What’s with you? Did you forget what you wanted to say and now feel embarrassed, so you’re changing the subject?— ……— Isn’t that right? Or not?— ……Anyway, Seo Heemin. You’re so perceptive.They had known each other since the first year of middle school, spending a full seven years together. It was about one-third of their lives.Yiheon smiled silently at Heemin’s jest. Pulling out his phone as if to take the picture, Yiheon stood up from his seat and started snapping photos before Heemin had even reached the photo spot.Click, click. Click, click.The loud shutter sounds broke the silence, echoing in the sky. Since it was a weekday and the weather was cold, there were no other campers around besides Heemin and Yiheon.Perhaps because there was no need to worry about others, Yiheon threw himself into taking photos like a professional photographer, lying on the ground and using flash in backlight situations. His enthusiasm and dedication made Heemin feel apologetic about being the model with such a mundane appearance.— Stop taking pictures and let’s get ready for dinner. It’s already dark.Before they knew it, the sun had set below the horizon. The fiery sunset quickly disappeared, replaced by the dark, inky night.Without the scattered streetlights around the campsite and the campfire in front of the tent, they might have experienced being swallowed up by the cold night sky. The night sea without a lighthouse was eerily desolate and silent.— It’s cold, so go inside and cover up with a blanket by the stove. I’ll go wash the seafood at the sink.— Come with me.― What if someone comes in? Someone has to stay and watch the tent.― Ah, that’s true.Although there was no one around, they couldn’t be sure. Following his words, Heemin nodded, agreeing that it would be best to keep watch while setting up dinner.― I’ll be back.― Okay.After sending Yiheon off, Heemin went inside the tent to warm his frozen hands for a moment. The inside, heated by the stove, was cozier and more comfortable than he had expected. The twinkling string lights wrapped around the ceiling and the mini Christmas tree decorated in one corner added to the festive atmosphere.Remembering that Christmas was approaching, Heemin was impressed by Yiheon’s preparation, even though he had initially mocked him for bringing so many decorations for just the two of them. Heemin couldn’t help but feel excited seeing the cute setup. Cha Yiheon, unlike himself, truly understood the essence of such moments.― I should start getting ready.Heemin set the table, placing utensils, bowls, cups, and cooking tools on the hexagonal stove table. Despite Yiheon’s suggestion to just sit by the fire, Heemin couldn’t stand doing nothing.― You can’t sit still for a moment, can you?Yiheon, carrying cleaned seafood, slightly frowned at the perfectly set table. Always insisting on doing things himself, Yiheon often showed his displeasure when Heemin took over tasks.― I have to earn my keep.On their way, they had stopped by a nearby fish market and bought king crab, scallops, prawns, and oysters. Although they planned to split the cost, Yiheon insisted on paying for dinner since Heemin had bought lunch, making Heemin feel a bit guilty.― Are you cold? I’ll go grill these at the fire pit. Sit down, Yiheon.Heemin stood up, holding tongs, work gloves, and a grill rack. Yiheon sighed softly and pulled the hood of Heemin’s padded jacket over his head.― We can grill the prawns with salt on the burner inside, so let’s grill the scallops and oysters and eat them right away.― Sounds good.― You’re just eager to cook, aren’t you? If that’s the case, we might as well cook and eat outside.― …You know me too well.Scratching the back of his head, Heemin smiled brightly. Yiheon grabbed some beer and chopsticks and opened the tent door. The salty sea breeze brushed coldly against their cheeks, but Heemin’s excitement was uncontainable.― This is my first time grilling oysters and scallops like this. It’s incomparable to clams. So delicious.Heemin popped a perfectly grilled oyster, dipped in chili sauce, into his mouth. Despite the cold turning his nose red, he didn’t regret eating outside. The sound of crackling firewood and the rhythmic waves added to the ambiance. The sky, filled with countless stars and infinite darkness, and the deep, dark sea enhanced the mood.No seagulls were flying, nor were fish jumping out of the water. It was just Heemin and Yiheon enjoying winter on the wide coast. Feeling a unique sense of solitude, Heemin took a sip of beer. Setting up the tent had been a bit challenging, but it was a memorable and enjoyable trip, to the point where he regretted the night was coming to an end.― Heemin.Yiheon, who had been silently drinking beer, called out to Heemin in a low voice.― Yes, what is it?Heemin turned to him with a smile. Yiheon’s gaze, slightly red from the alcohol, seemed weary and lonely. Maybe he was tired from the day’s activities.― Heemin.― What is it? Just tell me.Yiheon called his name twice but remained silent. Puzzled, Heemin blinked as Yiheon, tapping the empty can, hesitated before finally speaking. His eyes held a determined resolve.― It’s not too late, so why don’t we leave together?― Leave? In the middle of the night?Was he suggesting they leave because he couldn’t stand the cold and discomfort any longer and wanted to head back to Seoul? Unlike Heemin, who was used to harsh conditions, Yiheon had grown up in a sheltered, comfortable environment.Leaving behind a house that felt like heaven and choosing to struggle outside, it was no wonder he was exhausted. Even Heemin, who prided himself on his stamina, felt fatigue creeping in, making his vision blur and his limbs feel heavy.He could understand Yiheon’s desire to return as soon as possible, but the problem was that they had been drinking and couldn’t drive. He was debating whether to tell Yiheon about his father, who had died from drunk driving, when Yiheon spoke with a dry, low voice.― Let’s go to America together next week.― Oh…Yiheon had planned to go to LA for a short language course during the winter break. Despite having relatives there, he didn’t want to travel and attend classes alone and had been pestering Heemin to join him for weeks, just as he was doing now.― I’ll cover all the expenses. Just stay by my side and keep me company like today. Think of it as a job that includes room and board.― It’s one thing if it were just a day or two, but it’s for two months. I know I’ve relied on you a lot, but I’m not that shameless. I’ll keep in touch often so you won’t be lonely. Go and enjoy yourself for both of us.Yiheon bit his lower lip and looked away toward the dark horizon. He seemed hurt by the rejection again. The flickering firelight cast deep shadows on Yiheon’s face, making his usually gentle eyes harden into an unfamiliar expression. The cold expression looked more sad than fierce, perhaps because of the wind.More downcast than when he had done poorly on a test that morning, Yiheon’s face bothered Heemin, who silently sipped his beer. No matter what, some things just couldn’t be done, like asking the professor for another chance to take the test.― Heemin.― Yeah?― Do you remember the second essay question from today’s exam?Yiheon, who had been staring at the sea, abruptly changed the subject. It seemed like he wanted to shift the awkward atmosphere by bringing up the exam.― The one asking to explain the connection between Oedipus Rex and Greek tragedy, and to discuss the significance of tragedy from the perspective of the historical context?He recited the question word for word. It was about the tragic fate of Oedipus, the most unfortunate character in Greek mythology, who was abandoned at birth because of a prophecy, only to fulfill it by killing his father and becoming the king of Thebes.― If you were Oedipus, trying to escape fate but ending up fulfilling it, what would you do?Busy with writing the answer about how Greek tragedies showed human dignity through suffering and how they were used for religious and political purposes, Heemin hadn’t had time to imagine such scenarios. After a moment of thinking about Oedipus’s story, he looked into Yiheon’s dark eyes and answered firmly.― Oedipus punished himself by blinding himself when he faced the truth. I thought that was a tragedy not of fate, but of human free will.― Free will…Oedipus didn’t choose death to avoid the unbearable truth like Jocasta. He ended his own story to break the curse on his family, showing his will against fate.― I have too many books left to read to blind myself, but I would try to change my fate somehow. My will is more important than the gods’. But why are you bringing up Oedipus all of a sudden?Thinking Yiheon was asking about the exam out of curiosity, Heemin tilted his head, wondering about the real reason. Yiheon responded with a slightly bitter expression.― Because I’m a coward who, out of love for someone, didn’t want to hurt them and kept all the truths hidden. Like Tiresias.Yiheon had never once talked about love before, especially with such heartfelt regret.…So, he had someone he liked.Heemin had always thought Yiheon wasn’t interested in love, constantly rejecting confessions from many people. Now, he looked at Yiheon with surprise and confusion, unable to hide his feelings. He tried to recall any seniors, classmates, or friends from middle or high school who might fit the bill, but none came to mind.― They say there are three things that cannot be hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth.Yiheon’s voice, more serious than usual, continued. Heemin felt it wasn’t the right time to ask questions or interrupt, so he just listened quietly.― If the truth is an unstoppable current, then before it sweeps me away, I want to make that person mine. Like you, my will is more important than others’.Yiheon spoke with a determination and longing Heemin had never seen before.― There’s only one thing I truly desire. For that, I would twist the orbit of stars and change fate, even if it means hurting that person with my selfishness. I don’t care if they resent me.The determined look in Yiheon’s eyes reached Heemin’s, filled with a fierce intensity that shook him to his core like the roaring flames of the bonfire. Heemin couldn’t find any words to say, just giving an awkward smile, unable to break the gaze. Then, Yiheon looked at the fully cooked oysters and spoke calmly.― That’s the story of my Sims character I’ve been playing lately.― …Sims?Heemin was bewildered by the sudden mention of the game. Yiheon, observing Heemin’s reaction with a relaxed expression, suddenly burst into laughter as if he couldn’t believe Heemin had taken him seriously.― The husband of my character’s crush is having an affair with a friend, and they even had a baby. I’m the husband of the cheating friend.― Wait, so the person you have a crush on is…― The wife of the cheating partner. I’m planning to make her confess and see how far the chaos goes.― What the heck. I thought you were serious!Thinking it was about his best friend’s personal life, Heemin had been listening earnestly, only to find out it was about a game character. A wave of indescribable emptiness washed over him. Unable to hide his shock, Heemin downed the rest of his beer.― How will you survive this tough world, being so naive, Heemin? I’m worried about leaving you alone while I go to America.― It’s because you sounded so convincing, not because I’m naive.Heemin pouted in dissatisfaction. Yiheon, laughing again at Heemin’s sulking, picked up an oyster with his gloved hand and held it out.― Here, the last oyster. You eat it.Yiheon knew exactly how to calm Heemin down. Although he felt wronged by the teasing, Heemin didn’t refuse the offering and quietly picked it up with his chopsticks.― Is it good?― Yeah.As he chewed on the plump, smoky oyster, something cold touched the tip of his nose.― Huh? It’s snowing.He looked up at the sky. Someone seemed to be sprinkling white, flower-like snowflakes from the endless darkness above. The cold touch that momentarily numbed his skin felt oddly pleasant. Heemin watched the falling snowflakes, entranced.Snow turning the world white, the warmth of the brazier thawing his frozen body, the precious friend always by his side, a heart filled with joy and happiness.It felt like a night he would never forget. Heemin smiled brightly at Yiheon, who was watching him with a grin.—The transparent, radiant sunlight gently touched his eyelids. Awakening from his sleep, Heemin blinked a few times to clear his hazy mind.He had dreamed about the trip he took with Yiheon to the beach last year. They had spent the night talking while watching the heavy snowfall and the lamp light that bathed the tent’s interior in a warm glow.The seascape and the conversations they had shared that day remained vividly in his mind even after waking up. Lost in the remnants of the dream, Heemin wriggled in the blanket when Yiheon’s words suddenly pierced his heart.“I’m a coward who, out of love, hid all the truths to avoid hurting them.”Heemin didn’t reveal to anyone that he wasn’t an alter ego of Seo Heemin, and that this world was within a book, to avoid hurting Yiheon, the thirty-year-old Cha Yiheon.Despite this, Yiheon had said that if it were him, he would reveal the truth and achieve what he wanted. But Heemin planned to remain a coward, keeping Cha Yiheon happy, even if it meant deceiving him.He was deep in thought about the contradictory outcomes that lies and truths would bring when he realized he was lying in a hotel room, not his home. Surprised, he threw off the blanket.“…Oh.”He couldn’t properly sit up as his back felt like it was crushed. Though the heat that had been coursing through his body was gone, a new unfamiliar pain lingered in his lower back, tormenting him.The embarrassing memories of the past few days came flooding back. He had repeatedly passed out, woken up, eaten the food Yiheon fed him, and then gone back to doing it again, night and day.“Put it all in… Ugh… I want to do it with you, hyung.”“Argh!”Thinking about how he had begged and sobbed for Yiheon, his face burned with embarrassment. Despite expelling his desires multiple times, the frustration from Yiheon not giving it all made him cry endlessly.Still, he had clearly hinted at a “next time.” Next time, he would go all the way, so be prepared. It felt so good even with just half of it—what would it feel like to take it all? He couldn’t help but be immensely curious.‘Am I crazy?’The merciless sensation of being pierced from the inside resurfaced. Despite the heat having completely ended, he was embarrassed and ashamed of having such lewd thoughts. But he couldn’t help his curiosity. After all, he was an honest person when it came to his desires. Once he had tasted pleasure, there was no going back to not knowing it.Pressing his heated cheeks with his palms, Heemin looked around. The late morning sunlight streaming through the curtains softly illuminated the room with a vintage atmosphere.“…Hyung?”Only then did Heemin realize he was lying alone in bed. With a hoarse voice, he called out to Yiheon and struggled to sit up.[I’m sleeping. I’m going home to get some clothes.]He looked towards the bathroom, thinking Yiheon might be in there, but then noticed a note on the nightstand. The mature and neat handwriting was unmistakably Yiheon’s.Even though their personalities were different, many of the elements that made up “Cha Yiheon” in his subconscious were derived from Yiheon. It wasn’t surprising, yet it still felt strange. Normally, Yiheon would have sent his secretary to get the clothes, but he went himself this time. Was it because Kwak Yoonseong’s surveillance made it impossible for the secretary to leave? Or perhaps he needed an alpha suppressant and didn’t want to call Dr. Hwang to the hotel?‘Oh, right, the key!’The key to Seo Heemin’s studio was in the jacket pocket. Heemin quickly got out of bed and searched for his clothes. Luckily, his jacket, pants, and the shirt with the missing button were all hanging neatly in the closet.‘It’s better to tell him, right?’He took the key from the pocket and held it tightly in his hand. Deceiving him with the double personality act was enough. There was nothing to gain by adding more secrets, so it seemed better to be honest and return the key to Do Junyoung.Click.He heard the sound of the door opening, signaling Yiheon’s return. Since he wasn’t wearing anything, Heemin quickly got back into bed. He hastily pulled the sheets over himself and peeked out, his gaze fixed on Yiheon’s appearance.He wasn’t in his usual suit but wearing a black T-shirt and pants. Even his hair, usually neatly styled, was down, giving him a familiar look. It was as if the friend he had seen in his dream was standing before him.“…Yiheon?”The air of danger that always surrounded him seemed to have vanished, leaving a warm atmosphere in its place. The threatening vibe was completely gone. He looked every bit like his friend Cha Yiheon.For a moment, Heemin couldn’t tell if he was in the world of the book or in reality. Still unsure if he was dreaming, Heemin couldn’t hide his confusion as he looked at Yiheon.Yiheon looked down at Heemin with narrowed eyes. The gentle smile on his lips reminded Heemin of his friend, but his eyes were as inscrutable as the Cha Yiheon from <Silence>.A strange silence hung between them.