LIGHTNOVELSTORY Chapter 27: Fallen Angel
"Holy shit, why did I waste my time talking to you two?!" Zero yelled as we ran toward our school, cutting through busy streets and morning commuters.
"We were being polite! How could we guess that time would pass so quickly while we talked?!" I replied while breathing heavily, trying to keep up.
"I don't know, don't you guys have a fucking phone?!" She yelled in my face, staring red in anger before shouldering me.
"I lost my phone, OK! I don't know where it went!" I bumped my shoulder against hers, staring into her eyes.
"Seriously?! And I'm the irresponsible one!" She pushed me, almost bumping me into a man in a suit talking on his cell phone.
"No one is calling you irresponsible here!" I pushed back, almost making her run face-first into a pole.
"Tell that to the damn principal! He'll have my ass!"
"And you still complain to me?! What did you do?! Were you too late?! Did you get into fights?! Did you steal someone's lunch money?! Come on, tell me! We'll see who's in the wrong here!"
We stood face to face and shoulder to shoulder in a steady run toward school, touching foreheads and glaring at each other in anger, oblivious to the surrounding noises.
People yelling and cursing because we almost ran into them? Hump! It's their problem for getting in the way!
Cars honking when we crossed the street at a red light? Hump! They're not crazy, they are seeing us!
Dogs chasing us just for running? Hump! Good luck trying to catch us, fleabags!
Suddenly, a familiar voice caught our attention, interrupting our argument.
"Guys, look!" A sweaty Nier shouted, pointing ahead.
We followed his finger and found ourselves in a straight line toward the school building, but the metal gate slowly closed to our dismay.
"SHIT!" We shouted simultaneously.
We used all our strength, breathing heavily and melting in sweat. Everything blurred as we left a dust trail in our path.
The world entered slow motion, allowing me to see Nier and Zero's faces grimacing due to the wind, with tears, phlegm, and saliva coming out of their eyes, noses, and mouths respectively.
I do not doubt that I was in the same situation, but the gate almost closing made my heart jump, so I clenched my teeth, forcing my muscles to the limit, nearly snapping them.
Just like in a treasure hunt movie with an archaeologist armed with a whip, we threw ourselves forward and crossed the gap seconds before it closed, sliding across the dirty and dusty ground.
"See, we did it!" I puffed my chest and spread out my arms profoundly.
Nier and Zero smiled relieved, ready to celebrate, but a noise killed our joy.
RIIIIIIIIIIING!
The morning bell.
We froze like wide-eyed statues, our brains taking a few seconds to process the situation.
"What the hell are we doing here?!" I ran toward the building, stumbling and fumbling the whole way, but entering it.
We ran through the hallways towards our classroom, and to our surprise, we stopped in front of the same door with the sign 2B beside it.
"Are we in the same class?" Nier asked surprised.
"What are the chances?" I said disbelieving.
"I don't know and I don't care! I've wasted too much time with you idiots!" Zero opened the classroom door and entered it.
Nier and I stared at each other, clutching our hearts with fake hurt and pained smiles before shrugging and following her inside, only for a stern voice to reprimand us.
"Aren't you ashamed to be late on the first day of school? Miss Zero does not surprise me since she has the least pleasant reputation in this school, but you two… I'll let this slip once, but I hope it doesn't become a habit." A tall purple-haired green-eyed woman glared at us from behind her rectangular glasses.
She wore a formal suit and held an open book as she chalked on a blackboard in front of a silently staring class.
"PISH! You will make me blush, Teacher Caerula." Zero rubbed her head back before sitting with her feet on her desk.
"For the love of… I'm not paid enough for this! You two, introduce yourselves and sit down!" She pointed at Nier and me, making us jump with a shudder.
We quickly did as she said before choosing empty chairs in different classroom parts, having our first class of the day, history, my favorite subject. Luckily, my seat stood beside the window.
The class was divided between the interested note-takers like me, the partially attentive ones whose focus shifted between the lecture and anything else, and the ones who couldn't care less, like Zero, who seemed more interested in her nails.
However, I stopped as soon as I heard a buzzing, distant noise, like singing inside my head.
"What?!" I exclaimed surprised, catching everyone's attention, recoiling at the stares. I liked being the center of attention, but not like this.
"Is there a problem, Alan?" Teacher Caerula asked politely, but the barely contained irritation in her eyes and tone revealed what she felt for interrupting her class.
"No! No! Just one question, does anyone else hear that noise?" I hoped that they heard it too.
They fell silent and raised their heads, however, my hopes died when the usual school noises sounded in the distance and I became the focus again.
"If this is some kind of joke, then I recommend that you leave if you are bored of my class, but if you are feeling unwell, I can ask someone to accompany you to the nurse's office." Caerula replied softly.
"No, thank you! I think I am imagining things!" I readjusted myself in my seat, facing her with hands clasped on my desk.
My innocent expression momentarily trembled as I sweated profusely, feeling everyone's intense gazes and hearing their whispers.
Great! My first day of school and I've already earned a weirdo reputation!
She frowned and clicked her tongue, sighing and returning to her explanation as if nothing had happened. I did the same, taking notes and wondering what was that.
Calm down, Alan! You must be tired! That's right, just tired! There's no buzzing, noise, or mysterious song! Just you, the classroom, the students, the teacher, the school, and the city.
I looked through the window to confirm my statements, seeing what I had already expected: the building's courtyard, some school staff, the wall and entrance gate, the street, cars, the sidewalk, pedestrians, trees, dogs, cats, birds, and the various distant buildings.
I nodded upon hearing their noises. Normally, I would find them annoying, but now they served as confirmation that everything was real, until the moment I blinked…
I found the silence strange, and I couldn't help but widen my eyes when I opened them, holding back a scream as when disappeared.
There was nothing! All the things I saw, the objects, the people, the animals, the buildings, everything had disappeared, revealing an infinite white void beyond the window! There was no ground, there was no sky, there was no horizon! Nothing!
The song sounded louder, almost deafening me. I couldn't be the only one seeing and hearing this! I had to warn everyone! How had they not realized this yet?! Something happened here!
"Hey…" I turned towards the class, but my words died when I saw their faces staring at me, or lack thereof.
They all looked like faceless mannequins with hair and clothes, but the details were gone! The uniforms became simple men's and women's clothing, the little things like hair clips and stickers had disappeared!
The same went for the classroom, which now only had the bare minimum to be considered one! There were no posters on the walls, no calendars, no clocks, no bookshelves, just chairs, tables, and the chalkboard between four gray walls, floor, and ceiling!
The words written on the blackboard became illegible scribbles, even my notes, which now slowly floated off the page! I closed my trembling hand around it, watching in disbelief as the writing escaped through my fingers!
"What happened now?!" Teacher Caerula asked in a distorted, almost incomprehensible voice, similar to several people speaking simultaneously.
I jumped in my chair, nearly falling to the floor in fear! Trembling as my breathing quickened, leaning on my desk to keep myself in place, listening to everyone talking and assaulting my ears with a monstrous cacophony!
What happened?! What happened to them?! To me! To the world! Where did everything go?! What are these things?! This has to be a nightmare! Yes! A nightmare! I will close my eyes and when I open them, everything will return to normal!
The song rang louder, and louder, and louder, distorting and spinning the world, similar to a whirlpool or dripping ink! The color disappeared as the despair in my chest grew, so I closed my eyes tightly, praying for it to end!
To my relief, I found myself in the normal classroom when I opened my eyes, ignoring the concerned and surprised looks I received as I analyzed my surroundings.
I laughed nervously, looking out the window and seeing everything in its right place, feeling the heaviness in my stomach disappear. I wiped the sweat from my forehead and rubbed the bridge of my nose, I should have been tired, yes, just tired and daydreaming.
However, I stopped and frowned when I saw a figure staring at me from the shadows under a tree with its pair of glowing yellow eyes. I half stood up with a hand on my heart, feeling the panic return like a train.
I blinked again and that was a mistake, I couldn't help but scream when the figure appeared on the other side of the window. There was no way someone could have closed the distance so quickly! And where was he standing? We were on the third floor!
The figure extended a hand towards me, passing through the glass as if it didn't exist! I wasted no time and ran away, ignoring the screams and worried faces of the teacher and my friends!
I escaped to the men's bathroom, constantly looking over my shoulder and through the windows for the creature, scaring the few people I found on my way. I looked inside all the stalls when I reached my destination, and then I stopped in front of the mirror, leaning on the sink and washing my face.
"Shit! Shit! Shit! Come on, Alan! You saw that, didn't you?! Things disappearing, and people turning into mannequins! What's happening here?! It's not a dream, I'm sure of that, but what can I do?! No one can see or hear this but me! No one will believe me even if I tell the truth! I can grab Rubrum and run home, but what then?! Besides, what was that thing watching me?!"
I muttered constantly to myself, but I had the same reaction as in the classroom when I saw the shadowy thing staring at me in the mirror instead of my reflection.
I fell to the floor, crawling backward until I hit one of the stalls, watching as the creature crawled out of the mirror, first one arm, then the other, the head, the torso, and a leg soon after.
I struggled to get up and run to the door due to the wet floor, losing all hope when I discovered it was locked. I knocked and screamed desperately with all my strength, but it didn't move and no one responded.
The thing was in the middle of the bathroom now, walking with its arm extended. I threw my back against the door, standing on my tiptoes, creating as much distance between me and the member as possible.
I closed my eyes, thinking that this would be the end, the bell ringing being the last thing I would hear.
DIIING!
But nothing happened, I opened my eyes and the thing was gone. Suddenly, the bathroom door opened, pushing me forward, but I quickly regained my balance and spun on my heels, kicking it open, and hearing a pained scream.
"Did you like that, you bastard?!" I was ready to fight for my life, but I mentally punched myself when a familiar voice shouted from the other side.
"Holy shit, what is your problem?!" Nier burst into the bathroom, rubbing his bloody nose.
"Fuck! Nier… I… I…" I reached a hand towards him.
"I came to see if you were okay after freaking out in the middle of class and this is how you thank me?!" He turned his back and left the bathroom.
"Nier, wait! I… I… I'm so sorry…" I whispered, but there was no answer. I was alone, listening to the damn song again.
With no other option, I dragged my feet to the next class, all the chaos in my mind giving way to how I would apologize for what I did.
-XXXXXX-
"Attention everyone, I'm Bartas, your P.E. teacher! I'll be honest, I don't like wimps, which is what you seem to me, so today we'll have a little game to prove if I'm right or wrong, dodgeball!" A tall, strong, blond man shouted, bouncing a red ball on the floor.
We all remained in the sports court, wearing our P.E. uniforms and listening attentively to the teacher's words. Well, everyone except me, because I couldn't get my mind off the stupid thing I did.
I saw Nier with his nose patched and a serious face, completely ignoring me, no matter how much I tried to get his attention. I stared at the ground with regret burning in my chest, the reflection of my saddened face on the polished court floor.
The whistle caught my attention, starting the game, and we divided into two teams of ten people, Nier and I on the same, and Zero on the opposing one.
Then the match began, dodgeballs cut through the air like red bullets, hitting teammates painfully. The number of players gradually decreased, nine, eight, seven…
But my mind was not here, only thinking about the recent events and how they affected me.
Six, five, four…
It was all real, I know it was, and it drove me crazy! Look where it got me! What if this keeps happening? How will I live like this?
Three, two, one…
I was the only one left on my team and Zero on hers. We stared at each other in tense silence, ready to throw and dodge dodge-balls as soon as the whistle blew again.
PIIIR!
She grinned cruelly from ear to ear, throwing her ball like a meteor. I stepped aside, dodging it and throwing mine like an arrow, and just like me, she stepped away.
I ran towards the nearest ball, crouching and dodging the one that almost hit my head, before getting up and returning the throw.
The game continued for long minutes, we constantly threw and dodged, each throw getting closer to hitting the target due to increasing exhaustion. Sweat ran down our bodies as we breathed heavily, but we didn't take our sharp gaze off each other.
Our teams cheered, jumping and waving their arms, shouting praise and insults.
The anxiety and sadness I felt slowly disappeared, giving way to something else, an iron determination and joy. Despite everything, I had fun.
"Ready to lose?!" Zero smiled arrogantly, pointing her ball at me.
"You'll eat those words!" I smiled, imitating her gesture.
Enough with the words! It was time to win! I had to win! I will win! I can do it! I can do it!
Zero threw her ball and time slowed down, allowing me to see every detail. Noises muffled and the lights blinded me, but I had one goal, the target in front of me.
I crouched and raised my ball with both hands as a shield, bouncing the projectile aside and running towards my opponent to claim victory.
She dropped her mouth and widened her eyes as she realized there was no escape. My team celebrated louder as her team screamed despaired. A confident smile crept across my face, but it turned into a frightened grimace when the song returned.
No! No! No!
There was nothing I could do, the faces disappeared, the voices became a muffled mess, the lights dazzled me and the court assumed an extremely basic appearance.
An infinite distance appeared between the faceless Zero and me, a space impossible to cross, and I couldn't move my body, no matter how hard I tried, I was trapped in my own mind.
Zero retrieved a ball and threw it towards me. The song increased midst the fan's desperate screams, and I watched as it constantly approached despite the distance.
I screamed in my head, using all my strength to move, but to no avail, I was a prisoner who would suffer a horrible fate if hit.
"OUCH! What the…" I screamed as the ball hit my forehead, blinking in disbelief as everything seemed normal.
Teacher Bartas blew his whistle, ending the game and declaring victory for Zero and her team. Meanwhile, my team surrounded me, complaining and demanding an answer as to why I hadn't moved.
I half-listened to their words, because something on the ceiling terrified me, the shadowy figure, hanging upside down like a bat. My heart raced my body trembled, chattering my teeth as my vision darkened, but a hand on my shoulder and a scream kept me from fainting.
"ALAN!"
Nier stared at me worriedly, but I looked up again, half-closing my eyes when the figure disappeared.
-XXXXXX-
We walked toward the cafeteria for lunch, with Nier trying to get answers as to why I acted strangely.
"Alan, what's wrong with you? You've never acted like this! Are you feeling sick? Is someone giving you trouble?"
"You wouldn't believe me if I told you." I sighed tiredly, only to see him staring at me determinedly with crossed arms.
"Try me."
I remained silent, looking into his eyes, whose brightness assured me that he would not give up.
I hesitated whether to try or not, my crestfallen stance falling further as I played with my tongue inside my mouth, finding the floor so interesting all of a sudden. So, I clicked my tongue and breathed deeply, trying my luck.
"I'm going crazy, Nier, I saw things that no one else saw since the first class, and it's driving me mad! I hear voices and songs, I see the world disappear and distort, losing its colors and other characteristics, people become faceless mannequins, and worst of all, there's a monster made of darkness chasing me, always watching me, always getting closer! It followed me to the bathroom and almost caught me if it weren't for the bell ringing! I kicked the door, thinking you were it! It was an accident, I swear! I'm scared, Nier! Are the things I see a warning of something bigger happening?! Is this all in my head?! What does the monster want with me?!" What will happen if it catches me?! I don't know what to do, because I'm the only one who reacts to this!"
The more I spoke, the more I lost my calm, messing my hair and accelerating my pulse. Strangely, I felt a weight lifting from my shoulders after getting it all out. I raised my head, waiting for his response, but saw only surprise and worry as he retreated slightly.
"Okay, I expected everything but that, even that you were in love with Zero, but didn't know how to confess. I would ask if you spent too much time watching TV, playing video games, or sleeping with a full stomach, but it seems like you'll jump out the window at any moment to escape something."
"So, do you believe me?!" Joy burned in my chest as I straightened my posture, which soon diminished when he raised a hand, stopping me.
"I didn't say that. Something is happening here, but monsters and the like are the last thing I will believe in. I'll stay with you, I want you to tell me when the weird stuff shows up again, maybe I can see it if I'm nearby, and if that doesn't happen, at least I'll keep you from hurting someone or yourself."
"Thank you." I placed my weak hand on his shoulder, offering a shaky smile, which he returned confidently with a comforting touch on my shoulder, confirming that he was real.
"You're welcome! How about we have lunch now? I'm hungry." He pointed to the path ahead.
"Sure, sure! I am too."
I fixed my appearance and we resumed our walk, stopping only when we heard a commotion. Surprisingly, we found Zero holding a terrified student by the collar of his shirt with her remaining fist raised.
"Hand over the lunch money!" She threatened to punch him.
The student squealed like a rat and pulled a handful of cash from his pocket, handing it to Zero, who nodded, letting him run away while she counted the amount.
"Meh, it'll have to do." She shrugged.
"You know, I joked when I asked if you stole anyone's lunch money. You didn't have to take me seriously." I teased, making her jump slightly in surprise.
"TISK! Don't butt in on other people's business! What the hell are you idiots doing here?" She frowned irritated.
"Going to lunch, just like everyone else." I shrugged, happy to see someone familiar.
"And discover what's happening with our friend here." Nier elbowed me, making me flinch.
"Oh, that's right, you put on quite a show all day, becoming the school's center of attention and gossip." She chuckled, smiling teasingly.
"Not my finest moment." I rubbed my head embarrassed.
"So, what's the story?"
I summarized the events as we walked to the cafeteria, passing through the doors, and trying to ignore the stares and whispers directed at me.
"Well, you're freaking out." She commented.
"Seriously? Can you believe I didn't notice?" I replied dryly and not at all surprised.
"You two are not helping." Nier scolded us.
We grabbed our lunches and sat at a distant table to not draw more attention than we already did.
"Are you sure you're not using something? Taking or not taking any medication?" She asked between bites, irritating me with what she suggested.
"I'm not that kind of person and I'm perfectly healthy!" I grimaced while chewing harder.
"Calm down, sorry, I was just asking!" She raised both hands in surrender, sending me an apologetic look.
"But that still doesn't explain why you saw the things you saw." Nier spoke next.
"Maybe you pissed someone off and they put a curse on you."
We stared at a smiling Zero who quickly shrank back, disconcerted by our silence.
"After everything that happened, I'm willing to believe in ghosts and curses, but why me? I didn't do anything wrong!"
"Not that you know of." She replied.
We discussed various assumptions about what haunted me. Ghosts? Demons? Monsters? Aliens? Other dimensional beings?
Nothing fit, but at least Nier and Zero didn't treat me like a lunatic, giving me hope that there was some kind of way out, but then, I heard it again. I stood up immediately, analyzing my surroundings.
"Guys, it's happening!" I told my friends, who quickly stood up surprised, looking around just like me.
Everything happened as I expected, color and details disappeared, the floor, ceiling, and wall distorted, impossible distances and shapes surrounded me, and lights and sounds became unbearable.
"You see this, don't you?!" I asked them both, stepping back when I saw two faceless mannequins staring at me.
They said something, walking around the table while waving their hands up and down, but I couldn't understand. I fought the urge to run away burning through my body and closed my eyes, knowing that everything would disappear when I opened them.
One, two, three, now!
I opened my eyes quickly, smiling from ear to ear when I saw my friends again, but the relief, hope, and joy slowly disappeared, overtaken by the feelings that accompanied me throughout the day.
There was no one here, there were no voices, noises, or people. I screamed, calling their names, silencing myself when I noticed several clothes thrown on the floor. I backed away with fearful, hesitant steps, shaking my head in denial.
"No! No! No! This is impossible! This can't be happening!"
However, no one responded. I opened and closed my eyes repeatedly, harder and longer with each blink, straining my ears for any sound of change.
And the change came in the form of my tormentor, sitting between where Nier and Zero had previously stood. I swallowed hard, clenching my fists until they bled, anger bubbling in my chest.
"You, you did this, didn't you?! Why did you do this?! Why do you chase me?! What have I done to you?! What have these people done to you?! They didn't deserve this! What do you want?! Money?! My body?! My soul?! Then take it, but leave the others out of it!" I stepped forward furiously, pointing an accusing finger at the creature that pierced my being with its yellow, glowing cat eyes.
I asked question after question, shouted insult after insult, threats, and apologies, appealing for its mercy or trying to negotiate something, but the monster didn't move an inch, standing still like a statue.
I hyperventilated, catching my breath, wondering if I should fight or flee, but the monster chose for me, diving towards the ground, transforming into a dark mass, and crawling toward me like a living shadow.
My body betrayed my intentions and I ran in the opposite direction through the halls as fast as I could, begging my friends for forgiveness, for failing them, for not helping.
I gritted my teeth and shook my head, feeling the tears stream down my face, always asking the same question.
Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?
It didn't matter anymore, because I saw the dark mass turning a corner, crawling along the walls behind me. I picked up my pace, reaching my limit and stepping into the schoolyard.
There, I realized how fucked the world was, the white void I saw when it began was all-consuming. White spots appeared and grew in the monotonous sky, erasing the birds and gray clouds like a burned film.
Cars, plants, animals, and buildings disintegrated into white particles, turning into dust carried by the wind. What did not follow the first two examples simply disappeared, blinking out of existence.
I spotted my pursuer at the school's building entrance, which soon disappeared as if it had never existed, leaving an empty lot behind.
I ran as soon as a pair of wings appeared on its back, not waiting for it to take flight. I crossed the streets desperately, avoiding looking at the clothes of men, women, and children lying on the ground.
A large shadow formed above me, and when I raised my head, I saw the monster hovering like a vulture signaling a dead animal.
I changed paths, crossing alleys, lanes, and lesser-known ways, hiding in tight spaces in the hope of being lost from sight. My efforts were in vain, because the monster was always there, in every shadow, in every corner, in every reflection, always watching, always chasing.
There was no escape, it was useless! Why did I still try? That was the question, wasn't it? Why? Why? Why?
I was about to give up, fear, despair, tiredness, terror, horror, sadness, whatever it was, they destroyed my will to fight! However, I saw something ahead that reinvigorated my hope, Rubrum!
I laughed nervously, approaching the little girl standing on the sidewalk in front of her school.
Who cared if her head was low, causing her hair to hide her eyes?! Who cared if she danced back and forth with her hands behind her back?! Who cared if she hummed a disturbing song, the same one that attacked my ears incessantly?! There was someone! I wasn't alone!
"Rubrum, you're alive! You can't imagine how happy I am! We don't have time to waste, we need to escape! There's something wrong with the world! There's a monster chasing me and..." I pulled her away, but it proved impossible, as she wouldn't move, no matter how hard I tried.
My face turned red, it was as if she weighed a ton, however, her echoing voice made me release her immediately.
"Why are you running away?" She stepped towards me, making me back away.
"What do you mean?! There's a monster after me!"
"There's no monster here." She stepped again, and I did the same in the opposite direction.
"Of course there is! It is flying through the city!"
"There's no city here."
"Of course there is! Look around!"
"There's no one around here! There's nothing here! No sky or earth, near or far, light or dark, only life and death." She lifted her head, revealing the lack of a face.
"No! No! No!" I left her behind, knowing that all was lost.
I saw Rubrum waving before disappearing, leaving her clothes on the ground which vanished into the white void that consumed everything nearby.
The monster had disappeared, and I couldn't find it anywhere. I couldn't tell if it was a good thing or not, because the void closed in quickly, limiting where I could escape.
What would happen to me if I were consumed too? Would I end up somewhere, or would I disappear completely?
These doubts were left behind when I saw my apartment building in the distance, like an oasis in the desert.
I ran and ran and ran, but the void was relentless, just a few inches away from catching me. However, I came face to face with my destiny as I turned a corner, screaming in panic as I tripped and fell.
I dragged myself across the dirty ground, trying to regain my lost advantage as I struggled to get up, but to my surprise, the void stopped moments before touching my foot.
I approached the edge, whether out of morbid curiosity or stupidity and stared into the abyss as white as a sheet of paper. There was no city or world left, just a single building serving as an island in the middle of nowhere.
I picked up a rock and dropped it off the edge, watching as it fell endlessly, becoming a distant dot until it disappeared. I swallowed hard and stood up on my weak legs, climbing the stairs to where I lived, gripping the railing tightly to keep from falling.
I unlocked the door and wiped my shoes on the entrance mat, suspiciously scanning the dark interior in front of me. The building still had power, judging by the light when I pushed the switch, so I entered, closing the door behind me and sliding my back against it to the floor.
I buried my face in my knees, pulling my hair and letting out a muffled scream. The price of my efforts hit me like a train, I was exhausted, and my entire body ached, so I used this small moment to rest.
I didn't want to think about what had happened, about the precious people I had lost, about what had happened to the world, about the monsters, about anything! I wanted to forget everything! To wake up in my bed and discover that this was just a nightmare!
My bed… I guess lying down for a bit wouldn't hurt…
I stood up as if my body was a rock, shaking with every step as I crossed the apartment toward my door, opening it with a tired sigh and closing it behind me.
I don't know why I expected anything different, I hadn't escaped it before, so why would be different now? The monster was there, standing in the center of my room, watching me.
I opened and closed my hand behind me, frowning at the missing doorknob. Glancing back, I saw that the door was gone.
"Heh, I guess that's it, you got me." I laughed dryly, raising both hands in surrender. The thing didn't respond and slowly approached, giving me time to wander.
"You know, you haven't answered any of my questions. I don't know why this happened. Why do you haunt me? Why do I hallucinate and see things that aren't there? Why did everything disappear? Could you at least say something before you take me? Did I do something to anger you? Did people do something to you? Is there any way to bring them back?"
The monster stopped, staring at me intensely with its glowing eyes, analyzing me, judging me. Why was it taking so long to act?
"It this… Is this the end of the world?"
To my surprise, it answered in a masculine voice similar to mine.
"No, but it will be your end if you don't choose soon."
The darkness that enveloped his form disappeared, revealing something that threw me against the wall, mouth open and eyes wide. No words came, for my face stared back at me eye to eye, it was me, that thing had my face, it was just like me!
However, there were glaring differences, his skin was gray like rock, with masses of living darkness covering his arms up to the elbows, legs, and hips.
Bright yellow lines ran across his thin but muscular and injured body, covered in cuts, punctures, and bruises.
He looked horrible, with a dirty, haggard, and impassive face, and empty eyes, without shine or emotion, revealing immense fatigue and suffering. Long, dark, messy hair hid half of his face, with white flowers growing in the strands and feathers of the same color on his pair of large wings.
"Well, what are you waiting for, choose." He spoke monotonously, like a robot.
"What… What do you mean?! I don't understand!" I threw myself against the wall, trying to create as much distance between us as possible.
"Don't tell me you've already forgotten. You didn't waste time clinging to this illusion, did you?" He touched my forehead with his index, revealing to me a completely different life.
The city where I was born and lived became an abandoned landscape covered in salt, the birthday struggles for survival, the travels, journeys to another world and distant lands, the fights, battles to the death against powerful adversaries!
Magic, dragons, lands, confusion, anger, regrets, sadness, death, joy, peace, Nier, Yonah, Rubrum, Zero, Bartas, Elyon, Thessalia, the Sisters, Gabriella, the Lords, the Cathedral City, the Mercury Gate, I remembered everything!
I leaned against the wall, breathing heavily as I clutched my heart.
"HOLY SHIT! MY LIFE… MY LIFE…"
"It's nothing but a lie, now choose." The other me opened his arms in anticipation.
"CHOOSE WHAT, YOU BASTARD?!" I shook his shoulders without a reaction, he just watched with his dead eyes.
"Life or death, because there's nothing left here."
"Wait a minute, my fight against Bartas! I'm…"
"Dying, One is using her song to save your life, but that will only get you so far. You need to return of your own free will, leave this place, and use your strength to ward off death."
"AND WHY SHOULD I DO THAT?! I WAS HAPPY HERE! I HAD FAMILY AND FRIENDS BEFORE YOU CAME, BUT NOW THEY'RE ALL GONE!"
"Would you rather live a sweet illusion than face the cruel reality?"
"AND WHY SHOULD I NOT?! REALITY HAS BEEN HELL FOR ME, FIGHT AFTER FIGHT, LOSS AFTER LOSS, SUFFERING AFTER SUFFERING, DEFEAT AFTER DEFEAT! MY LIFE HAS BEEN A SERIES OF FAILURES, ONE AFTER THE OTHER! FOR EVERY GOOD THING I DO OR HAPPEN, TEN DISASTERS TAKE ITS PLACE! CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW HARD IT IS TO GET UP EVERY DAY, KNOWING THAT LIFE WILL THROW YOU TO THE GROUND?! THAT EVERYTHING SEEMS USELESS NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU TRY?! I'M TIRED, AT LEAST HERE EVERYTHING WAS PERFECT!"
"I know this more than you can imagine, after all, I am you. You say you were happy here, that you had family and friends, but that is also true for your previous life. Have you abandoned your goal of returning home? To Nier and Yonah? Aren't they your family? Elyon and Thessalia? Aren't they your grandparents now? Noir and Rubrum? Don't you consider them a father and a younger sister? And the elves of the village? The sisters? Gabriella? Zero or Rose? Aren't they your friends? From my point of view, everything you want awaits you on the other side."
"HUMP! They still have a long life ahead of them and they are better off without me, I only attract trouble." I pushed him aside and lay down on my bed.
The decorations in my room disappeared too, the TV, the console, the mangas, action figures, posters, and more, creating a space.
"I have never heard such stupidity and this is coming from me." The other me spoke, sitting on my windowsill.
I considered whether I should push him to his death, but he had wings, he would probably fly back or show up here suddenly.
"Insulting me doesn't make sense, because we are the same person, we are only insulting ourselves."
"HA! At least you still have your sense of humor, that is something that most people like about you. Can you imagine how the village's elves would feel if their beloved hero died? How devastated would your elven grandparents be by the death of their grandson after he assured them that everything would be fine? Our farewell was brief and poorly, what should have been a quick trip became a fight for survival. Don't you want to return and apologize, tell them how much you care and are sorry? And what about the sisters? They must feel guilty for convincing you to go all the way on the journey, now they try to save your life. How would they feel if you died in their arms? The one who trained, protected, cared, taught, and told them stories, disappearing into dust. They have completely different memories than you about how you met, but I know you grew attached. What about Rose or Zero? Wouldn't you like to meet her again? Hug her with all your might and tell how happy you are and how sorry you were for not saving her. How about making up for lost time? What about Noir and Rubrum? How would your loyal companions feel if you met your end? Where would they go? You are the leader, wherever you go, they will follow, for without you, they have no purpose. I could spend all day listing reasons for you to return."
I was silent with his answer, each word hurting like a knife in my chest, and no matter how much I denied it, I knew he was right.
"What will happen if I choose to stay here?"
"You will return to your illusion and then you will die."
"And then?"
"I don't know. No one returned from the afterlife to tell what's there. Heaven? Hell? Nothing? It's impossible to know."
"I didn't want that."
"Neither have I, but we can't control everything in our lives."
"What will happen if I choose to return?"
"Then you will live."
"And then?"
"The choice is yours, will you enjoy your life to the fullest, showing how much you care, or will you run away again?"
There were no walls or ceilings anymore, just the floor, the bed, the window, me and the other. I knew I had to choose, but I didn't know if I had the strength to keep going.
To live a false happiness or to face the cold, hard reality? Should I live with copies of those I love, or should I gather the courage and show my feelings to the real ones?
I wanted to stay here. I knew I wanted to stay here. But people fought for me, waited for me, and cried for me. What right do I have to die before the right time? If there is a chance of survival, then shouldn't I seize it with all my might?
Should I escape the suffering, or endure it for the sake of everyone and myself?
I have many regrets, I must resolve them so that I can rest in peace when the end comes.
"I want to leave."
"What did you say? I did not hear that." The other me put his hand beside his ear.
"I said I want to leave!"
"Can you repeat, please?" He leaned toward me.
"I WANT TO LEAVE, YOU BASTARD! I WILL RETURN TO EVERYONE AND LIVE MY LIFE TO THE FULLEST, WITHOUT REGRETS, WITHOUT HESITATION!"
"That's what I wanted to hear." He leaped into the room's center and walked toward the door that blinked into existence, opening it, and revealing a blinding light.
I stood up from my bed, watching as it disappeared with the window. I breathed deeply, looking away and clenching my fists tightly, listening to the song as I approached.
"After you." The other me smiled weakly, leaning toward the door with an outstretched arm like a butler.
Then, with one final step, I walked toward the light, hearing the door close and lock behind me.
END OF CHAPTER