Chapter 398: This is what regret feels like [2]
Brandon sat on the edge of his bed, staring at the box in his hands.
"...."
It was clumsily wrapped in Christmas paper, some edges not even fully covered, as if the person wrapping it had been in a rush or simply bad at it.
A small smile tugged at his lips, but it quickly faded. Vanessa had left it for him, insisting that it was important.
He didn't want to open it.
He thought he'd moved past the worst of it, but because of Vanessa's appearance, and the sight of this gift, this reminder, made everything resurface.
With a heavy sigh, Brandon slowly peeled away the wrapping.
His hands shook slightly, and for a moment, he paused, staring at the small USB flash drive inside.
There was no label.
He already knew, though.
He knew it was from Evelyn.
His chest tightened painfully as he plugged the USB flash drive into his laptop and clicked the file. The screen flickered for a second before her face appeared.
Evelyn.
Alive.
Brandon's breath caught in his throat as he saw her.
Evelyn was in her room, wearing pajamas, her dark—purple hair loose around her shoulders.
She looked…. alive.
So casual, so normal, like she'd just recorded this on a quiet night in, without any clue of what was to come.
—Is this thing even on?
Her face was close to the camera, brows raised skeptically.
—What's this, like the fifth attempt—Ah, wait. It's working!
An innocent smile spread across her lips.
Brandon could hear her light chuckle through the speakers, and it made his chest tighten.
—Uhm, hello? You might be wondering what this is for, but I thought I'd get you a Christmas present to thank you for inviting me to the Christmas party. Hehe, I couldn't think of a proper gift, so I thought of doing this instead.
Brandon couldn't help but feel the bitter irony in her words.
She had made this video as a lighthearted gift, never knowing that it would be the only thing left of her.
—You know, when you first invited me to that party…. I was a bit surprised. Honestly, I don't go to many gatherings. I guess you already knew that, though.
Evelyn leaned back into her chair, lost in thought.
—I wasn't sure how to feel about it. I mean, I'm not exactly the 'festive' type. But... it was nice, in a way, to be included in something like that."
She paused again, her fingers playing with the edge of her pajama sleeve absentmindedly.
—And I just wanted to thank you for that. For thinking of me. You're a good uncle.
"...."
Brandon's brows furrowed. Uncle? The hell?
She hesitated again, her fingers tracing the rim of her cup on the desk, her eyes downcast.
—I've been thinking a lot about... you know, things. Life, death, all that. It kind of hit me after we went to Big Sister Yi Jihyeon's funeral. There were so many people there, so many who cared about her. And it got me thinking….
what about me?
She laughed again, but this time, it sounded hollow.
—I wonder, if I died, would anyone come to my funeral….
Her voice trailed off, and for a moment, she just stared into the camera with an unreadable expression.
—Nevermind, sorry. That's not the purpose for this video. Just my inner thoughts spilling out. Hehe.
She laughed softly, but it didn't reach her eyes.
Brandon's hands gripped the edge of the laptop.
How could she talk like that? How could she have been so aware, yet so dismissive of her own life?
The thought of her questioning whether people would come to her funeral made his heart ache in ways he didn't know how to process.
Shaking her head, she gave a bittersweet smile.
—Enough about that. I'm rambling.
She leaned forward, her tone shifting to something more practical.
—I left some files for you on this flash drive. Everything you wanted to know about controlling your [Permafrost] affinity. How to efficiently direct the mana pathways and such. I know it's been a challenge for you, but these should help in case I'm not there to help you out.
Brandon blinked, the words almost not registering as the familiar knot of grief tightened in his chest.
She had left him files. It was more than just this video.
She had left him her knowledge, her teachings. Even after everything, she had thought about how to help him, how to guide him.
—There's also some stuff on my research regarding swordsmanship in there. I know you've been working hard to improve. You always were one to push yourse—Ah!
All of a sudden, Evelyn jumped out of her bed, and the video suddenly cut off.
—Sorry, there was a bug in my room….
Evelyn sat back down, adjusting her hair casually as if nothing happened.
—Anyway, where was I? Oh, right. The files.
Her tone had shifted back to her usual calm self.
Brandon could almost hear the teacher in her coming out.
It was strange how she always seemed so composed, even when talking about something as complicated as mana pathways or swordsmanship.
Yet whenever it came to social dynamics, she was often clumsy.
—You've got everything you need in there, Brandon. I know you're going to figure it out. You always do.
A small smile played on her lips, and for a brief moment.
He missed that smile. It wasn't warm or overly emotional—it was just…. Evelyn. Subtle. Quiet.
—But you have to take care of yourself too. You've always been pushing yourself too hard, always injured in every fight. You don't have to carry everything on your own, okay? You have people who care about you. Let them help.
Her words hit him harder than he expected.
Brandon's vision blurred, but he blinked the tears away. He couldn't cry. Not now.
He didn't want to.
After everything that happened, a single tear had never slipped out.
Evelyn tilted her head slightly, her expression softening in a way that felt almost maternal.
—You remind me of me sometimes. I used to think I had to do it all alone too. That if I didn't, I'd let people down, and I was afraid they would leave me….
Her words trailed off from there as he let out a small, almost self-deprecating laugh.
—Guess I'm not really one to give advice on this. I've made my own mistakes.
Brandon swallowed hard.
She never talked about herself, not really. She was always so focused on helping others, on guiding him.
And now, this was the closest he'd ever get to hearing her inner thoughts.
Her face grew more serious as she continued.
—But seriously, take care of yourself. And if you ever need to talk…. well, I guess I won't be much help. But there are others. Don't shut them out.
Her voice softened, and she looked directly at the camera, as if she could see him, as if she knew exactly what he was going through.
Continue your journey at M V L
—I believe in you, Brandon. I always have. You're stronger than you think, but you don't have to be strong all the time. It's okay to lean on others. It's okay to let people in.
Brandon couldn't hold it in any longer.
His hands shook as he covered his face, his chest heaving with silent sobs.
Her words, her advice—it was all so casual, so simple. But now, they were everything. Now, they were all he had left of her, his mentor, the unexpected mother figure in his heart.
Evelyn leaned closer to the camera, her expression soft.
—I'm proud of you, Brandon. I don't know if I've said that before, but I am. You've come so far.
She paused, her eyes shimmering slightly.
—Don't ever forget that. No matter what happens, no matter where life takes you…. I'll always be proud of you.
She laughed once more, a warm smile spread across her features.
—Merry Christmas. I look forward to the party.
The screen flickered again, and then the video cut out, leaving Brandon sitting there, alone in the silence.
He stared at the blank screen, his mind spinning with everything she had said, everything she had left unsaid.
Drip. Drip…!
For the first time since her death, Brandon allowed himself to cry.
Not just tears of grief, but tears for everything he hadn't said, everything he hadn't done.
He cried for the mentor—and mother figure—he had found in Evelyn, and the hole she had left in his life.
Drip. Drip…!
***
The moment Vanessa returned to the memorial service, she looked around, realizing the abundance of people that had gathered to pay respect.
There were a lot.
People Vanessa knew—people Vanessa didn't know.
Most probably, people who were thankful for Evelyn.
After all, she was a famous figure in Holy Britannia. A ranker who had saved an insurmountable amount of people in the past.
"Is he not coming?"
Hearing the question, Vanessa turned to the side and noticed Bellion, wearing a black suit, crossing his arms as he stood by the entrance.
"He is."
"Then where is he?"
"It'll take a while. But he's coming. Could you tell them to delay the ceremony for a bit?"
"Is that so? Alright, then."
With that, Bellion disappeared.
Vanessa glanced around before finding a seat. She hadn't seen the contents of the present itself, but the nametag on the present specifically wrote; 'For my Student.'
It was evident to her that it was for Brandon. After all, Evelyn held a certain bias to the boy.
'It was a Christmas present….'
The fact that it was just stowed away in her room told Vanessa enough of what happened.
'Jeez, you're even that embarrassed to hand your favorite student a Christmas present?
Time seemed to pass by in a blink of an eye. People had left flowers for Evelyn, and gathered around in their seats, eagerly waiting for the ceremony.
A sorrowful smile tugged at Vanessa's lips.
Everyone in the room present knew.
That there was no body to be buried.
Yet despite that, people came to pay their respects anyway.
That was how influential Evelyn was.
All of a sudden, the room fell silent. Eyes suddenly flicked towards the entrance, and Vanessa followed their direction.
"Took you long enough…."
She mumbled.
Brandon had arrived.