Chapter 29: Horney Is Weird...(2)
“Wow! A maiden!”
With her usual inscrutable smile, Eve’s face turned red, and she seemed to turn into stone. I patted the back of her hand to comfort her.
“Hey, it’s okay, it’s okay! It’s well-known that elves age slowly, both physically and mentally, right? I don’t know how old Miss Eve is, but… if you’re running a store of this size, you can’t be that old.”
“Gasp…!”
Eve, despite being the oldest living mortal and still a virgin with no money, shuddered. She wouldn’t think I did it on purpose since she doesn’t know I know her true identity. But sometimes, innocence was the greatest weapon.
…Though in my case, it was used to tease her under the guise of innocence!
The sight of Eve losing her composure was rare and valuable, but unfortunately, it didn’t last long. Eve quickly regained her composure, and after coughing lightly a couple of times, she continued speaking.
“Ahem. This is a top-quality horn that is realistically impossible to obtain in this day and age. If you plan to sell it, I’ll connect you to a good place. …Of course, I’ll take a tiny~ commission.”
I’ll strip you to the bone. (X)
Let’s please change the subject. (O)“I’m not really interested in that. If it’s such a good item, I’d rather use it myself than sell it. I’m confident that I’ll make money even if it takes some time.”
“Hehe. Sir Jonah’s confidence is fascinating. It seems more like a firm belief based on solid evidence rather than the typical optimism of a child… It’s really nice to see.”
Eve nodded her head as she licked her lips. She seemed to have regained her original composure within that short amount of time.
But I knew that was just a habit she picked up from her days reigning as the Elf Queen! A person who’s risen to a position responsible for the fate of a race would only stir up the anxiety of those they ruled by making a fuss over every problem that arose.
So, what became ingrained in her was the habit of appearing as if she’d expected everything that happened, the more flustered she became. In other words, the ‘Ah, I see. So that’s what happened… You don’t need to know about it yet.’ strategy!
In the process, her mysterious tone and relaxed atmosphere became habits ingrained in her. This, combined with Eve’s suspiciously suspicious appearance, actually had a great effect… but now, it was just a habit from the past that caused misunderstandings.
Even now, inside, she must still be fretting about the confirmation of her status. It wasn’t right just to torment her, so I should reward her next time. Let’s see, what to give her…
While I had been thinking about this and that, Eve placed her lightly interlocked hands on the desk, setting the mood.
“If Sir Jonah is thinking of using the horn personally, I can process it for you. How do you wish to shape it? A dagger, a self-defense tool, an elixir…anything is fine. If you cannot trust my abilities, I can also introduce you to an excellent craftsman. Would you be willing to entrust it to me?”
Hand over the unicorn horn. (X)
Please stop with the virgin jokes. (O)
“Um, I see. Since I hardly know anyone, it will be better for me to leave it to Miss Eve. Seeing how it was shining so brightly earlier, it seems the horn wants that, too!”
“Cough…”
After all the effort she had gone through to cultivate her impression, everything crumbled in an instant for the thousand-year-old virgin. Something was striking about her excessive concern over her lack of experience.
A man worried about being a virgin. And towards him, a virgin bitch smiling brightly, saying she likes virgins…
This’ll work!
I held the unicorn’s horn to my forehead. Pointing the brightly shining horn at Eve, I continued.
“And… maybe it hadn’t been a coincidence that I got my hands on this unicorn’s horn. I like maidens, too. Maybe it’s because I’m still a virgin?”
“……What?”
Really? (X)
Let’s get married. (O)
“Oh my, how embarrassing. What am I even saying? Anyway, I’ll leave this to you, Miss Eve. Considering my combat style, a dagger would be my best choice.”
Initially, I considered trying to consume it since I’d obtained Gluttonous Stomach… but it proved too hard to chew. It was also too large to swallow.
Naturally, I thought about breaking it into pieces to eat, but with the equipment and strength I had, it was impossible. So, given the situation, I decided to process it and use it as equipment. I still couldn’t forget the sensation of Lydia’s dagger that I’d briefly borrowed in the past.
Increasing physical specs was important, but if my plan wasn’t to walk down the path of a martial artist, it was logical to invest in equipment as well.
“Huhu… understood. Then, after I finish the initial processing, I’ll contact the Dwarf Workshop Union. Fortunately, I have connections there, and with such materials, there will be numerous craftsmen who would want to handle it, even if it means they have to go out of their way to do so.”
I have such connections. (X)
Let’s get married. (O)
“Yes! Then I’ll leave everything to you, Eve! …This is my first time doing something like this, so I’m a bit nervous.”
“Oh? It’s natural, since first times are special for everyone. You could leave this to me, someone experienced in these matters.”
You can trust me. (X)
Let’s get married. (O)
I felt a bit of pity for how she emphasized her experience… It wasn’t like I couldn’t understand the feeling, so I continued speaking with a bright smile.
“If Miss Eve says so, then I’ll trust your word and leave this all to you. We’re partners, after all, aren’t we?”
“Partners… Yes. That’s right. We are partners.”
If I’m screwed, you’re screwed too. (X)
We were already a couple! (O)
I leaned in slightly towards Eve, who was muttering dazedly, as if to share a careful secret.
“Since we’re partners, I have a favor to ask….”
“A request that can only be made to a partner… how intriguing. Please, feel free to tell me anything.”
“Actually, I’m currently out of money.”
“Pardon? Since Sir Jonah brought the materials, and the workshop union will either not charge us at all or only ask for the minimum, you only need to pay for my labor fee…”
“I don’t have the money for that labor fee.”
“…Didn’t you obtain 2 gold just yesterday?”
“I used that 2 gold to get this horn.”
As I lightly tapped the horn still attached to my forehead, Eve looked back and forth between me and the horn, bewildered. She then spoke in a slightly elevated tone.
“In that case, it can’t be helped. But this is troubling, Sir Jonah. I am a merchant, after all. I can’t work without receiving something in return.”
Actually troubled (X)
Pay with your body (O)
“Is there really no other way…?”
“…Normally, this is not allowed, but we are partners, as Sir Jonah said. I’m, of course, willing to offer a bit of consideration.”
“Really?!”
“Yes. By principle, we should receive the payment upfront, but for Sir Jonah, it’s okay to pay it off later at your own pace. Especially since a certain generous person took goods instead of cash as the price for the lives of my subordinate employees.”
With a deep smile, Eve gazed at Lemons and Apples lying beneath me. Just that was enough to make them start trembling. It seems they’ve been through a lot after Lydia and I left…
After alternately patting the shoulders of Lemon and Apple, I sent a subtle glance towards Eve.
“Post-payment. It would be nice even to pay it off slowly over several installments, but I’d like to suggest a slightly different method. For example… paying with my body?”
“…Hmm?”
What kind of trick is this? (X)
Is it really happening?! (O)
Her excitement was palpable; her usually narrow eyes widened just enough to let her green irises sparkle through. It felt as though her gaze could see right through me. Experiencing the sensation of being stripped bare, my body shivered involuntarily.
This was no longer merely a sinister atmosphere as before but an actual sense of pressure. It was likely because she was using the Eye of Truth with greater intensity.
Confronted with a true, genuine power—not merely the remnants left by a perished god—I opened my mouth.
“I plan to defeat the guardian of the first floor and receive the power of the World Tree. And I will use that power once for you, Miss Eve.”
“……!”
She seemed taken aback. Her half-closed eyes widened, fully revealing Eve’s irises. They were a transparent green, reminiscent of emeralds. She must be using the Eye of Truth at its maximum capacity, as Eve’s eyes were glowing.
It was more than just a sense of pressure now. I could feel the presence of something immense beyond. A mere small branch left by the World Tree before its death had this much presence.
Suddenly, the setting I had created, where the world had been destroyed by the gods’ battle, seemed understandable. If beings of this caliber were clashing, destruction was inevitable.
Looking directly into eyes that brooked no falsehood, I grinned. Not with the cute smile I had learned to survive in this world, but with a smile that was truer to my original self.
“I’m telling the truth.”
“…It seems so.”
“But it’s also true that I need help.”
“I will gladly help you.”
Eve, having fully activated the Eye of Truth, immediately responded to my words. My sincerity must have reached her.
If I took my time and grew steadily, in a few years, I would have accumulated the minimum achievements necessary to be qualified to fight against the floor guardians.
But that would take too long. So, I will rely on equipment and the gacha to shorten that growth time as much as possible.
And so, if I became strong like that… I’d be able to overturn the event that will turn Eve evil someday.
If asked for help, Ellie and Lydia would gladly lend a hand. But apart from that, shouldn’t I also try my best? After all, it’s my responsibility as the person who finalized Eve’s fate as a tragedy and also her only sympathizer.
I quietly reached out my hand. Eve hesitated for a moment before taking it. I shook her hand lightly and asked,
“Eve, but didn’t you have a strange thought earlier? You know, when I said I would repay you with my body.”
“…I don’t understand what you mean.”
Eve, back to her usual half-closed eyes, tilted her head and tried to pull her hand away… I didn’t intend to let her escape like this.
I got a wee bit scared from the immense pressure of the Eye of Truth that had been much beyond my expectations, so it’s only fair that I give back as much.
Squeeze.
I firmly grabbed the hand of Eve, who was trying to escape, and brought my lips close to her long elf ears.
“Eve noona… my horn is acting weird……”
“Hnnnt?!”
Perhaps it was because of the flirtatious voice, or because my breath touched her ear, or maybe because the content was just right for letting loose one’s wild imagination. But I truly enjoyed Eve’s reaction, twitching as if she’d been electrified.
Clack.
Placing the unicorn horn down on the desk, I bowed to Eve, who was still gasping for breath.
“Thank you for today. I’ll be leaving now. Please send Lemon or Apple to the Fairy and Silver Coin once the item is done. I’m always staying there.”
“Yes? Y, yes….”
Leaving the dazed Eve behind, I dragged up the twin elves, who had been secretly watching us while chewing on jerky.
“Both of you, please follow me for a moment.”
You two have a separate task.