Book 4: Chapter 2: 3rd of September (Thursday) – Ayase Saki
The chime rang, signaling the end of classes for the day. I grabbed my bag and was about to leave the classroom—
“Saki!”
A voice called out to me, making me stop in my tracks. However, I didn’t turn around. I simply let out a sigh. I can guess the identity of the person by voice alone, and I knew this would happen, that she would stop me like this. But oh well, I guess.
“What?”
“Jeez! Don’t ignore me!”
“I wasn’t ignoring you. I stopped when you wanted me to. So what’s up?”
“Hmph, so petty! There’s no need to rush things. I swear, young people these days are always in a rush about everything!” Maaya crossed her arms, but the fact that she’s a high school girl herself makes her argument sound invalid.
Maaya—Narasaka Maaya—pretty much is the only good friend I have at school.
“Right. What did you want?”
I could see several other classmates tagging along after Maaya. Usually, I don’t bother remembering the names and faces of classmates I’m not interested in, but I knew some of them at least. They were the ones who were present during our trip to the pool this past summer break. Along with Maaya, it was a group of seven boys and girls, out of which one boy spoke up now.
“We’re going for some karaoke after this. How about it?”
Who was he again? I directed my gaze at Maaya, who waved something like a ticket in her hand.
“I got a discount ticket~”
I see.
“Um…”
“Are you not interested in karaoke?”
Previously, I would have just said something like ‘Yep’ and been done with it. However, the faces of the people behind Maaya, filled with both anxiety and a faint level of anticipation, left me unable to do so.
“Thanks for inviting me, but I have some urgent business to take care of at home, so I can’t, I’m sorry.”
I refused in such a polite fashion. It surprised me. Not to mention that I did it with a smile. These joyful memories I acquired that summer day came to mind, and I didn’t want to ruin them. I don’t want people to hate me without reason, nor do I want to trouble them.
“See you.” I lowered my head slightly and walked out of the classroom.
From behind me, I heard the quiet voices of my classmates, sounding taken aback. They were wondering why I was in such a rush. As well as—
“It’s a shame. Right, Shinjou?”
Oh yeah, his name is Shinjou. Though I don’t remember his full name. Never mind that though. I walked down the hallway, changing into my outdoor shoes at the shoe locker. I actually need to get home quickly today—Before mom leaves for work.
The streets of Shibuya are always crowded 24/7, whether it’s a weekday or on the weekend. Since I was trying to rush home, the people filling the streets were in my way. It was causing me a needless amount of stress, but there was nothing I could do about it. I knew from the very beginning that smoothly making your way through the streets of Shibuya was pretty much impossible. Since my mother has worked here basically forever, I knew this place like it was my backyard.
From the main street, I went down a smaller street inside the residential district. There, I was finally allowed to start jogging. After turning a corner, I spotted a familiar flat. It hasn’t been that long, but for now it was the flat Mom and I called home.
“It sure feels weird.”
Back in May, I walked a different path home. At the beginning of June, I moved to this flat with Mom, so I’ve been taking this way home for barely four months at this point. A simple four months, and I have yet to remember any shortcuts, let alone the establishments and restaurants I passed on the way. Even though this was the same Shibuya I should be used to. The closer I got to school, the more familiar the surroundings and billboards looked, and yet my surroundings changed significantly. To the point where the scenery around the flat felt like a different country.
Long ago, everything seemed so simple. I think I was just despairing because of the environment I was raised in. That’s why I tried to forcefully change the situation. I deeply respected my mother, who raised me despite working in a bar located in the entertainment district, and worked my hardest so that nobody could blame or attack my mother. I felt the gazes from the people surrounding my mother watching me closely as well, and in order to cast them all aside, I knew I had to study like my life depended on it.
I made my way through the front entrance of our flat. After punching in the security code, the automatic door opened, and I passed by the manager’s room into the elevator. Ah, I forgot to check our post box. Well, that’s not important right now. I made it up to the third floor. Just a bit more, and I’ll be there. I was running short on breath because I was hurrying home, and the sweat on my body grossed me out. I hate the feeling of clothes glued to my sweaty skin. I wonder if I can even take a shower before I have to head off to work, I thought as I unlocked the front door of our apartment.
“I’m home!” While saying this, I spotted Mom’s working shoes still there at the entrance.
Upon entering the living room, I spotted Mom. She had her makeup on, and she looked ready to leave.
“Welcome back.”
“You’re not gone yet?”
“Yes. I contacted them, so I don’t have to rush things.”
“Seriously…?” I let out a sigh and sank down into a chair.
The exhaustion of running beneath the bright sun finally caught up to me. Phew, I made it in time. The reason I had been rushing home this desperately was because I needed to talk with Mom about something important—the parent-teacher meeting. I got a copy of the future aspiration questionnaire this morning, which I immediately told Mom about so that we could discuss the details in regards to her schedule. I thought we cleared up everything, but at the very end, she said ‘There’s something I need to talk about’, which was why I rushed home. However, seeing Mom acting as nonchalant as ever, I started to think that maybe it wasn’t that important after all?
“You could have just told me via LINE, you know?”
“I’m a bit old-fashioned when it comes to that, so I was worried I wasn’t able to completely convey what I wanted through a message only.”
“Ah, right… I guess?”
I somehow understood what she was talking about. Mom can be a bit clumsy when it comes to that. The fact that she’s a good bartender shows how skilled she is at having an average face-to-face conversation. On top of that, she most likely just feels anxious using only text to convey what she is feeling amidst this social network system era we’re in.
“Got it. I’ll hear you out, but just give me a second.” I went to my room, threw my student bag on the bed, and grabbed the sports bag I prepared beforehand for my shift later. “I’m ready now. So what did you want to talk about?”
“Well…” Oddly enough, Mom was hesitating, like it was a subject that was a bit hard to bring up. “How’s it going at school with Yuuta-kun?”
My heart skipped a beat out of pure shock.
“What do you mean?”
“Lately, you began calling Yuuta-kun ‘Nii-san’ at home, no?”
“That’s true, yeah?”
“I was wondering how things were going at school.”
Wha…? My heart was racing even more violently now, but I was confident I could hide it. I was fairly good at keeping a poker face.
“I mean, we’re in different classes.”
We barely even meet at school, and even if we did, I wouldn’t just call him ‘Nii-san.’ That would just create weird rumors. Well, it’s not like we actually did, so I have no way of proving that. Of course, I wasn’t totally lying. Since we’re in neighboring classes, when it’s boys and girls mixed P.E. classes, we do run into each other. We’ll use the same courtyard or gym hall, so even if we’re careful, we might bump into each other. In fact, that has bound to have happened before, particularly our gazes meeting.
“But nothing’s really changed.”
“That means you’re still hiding the fact that you’re siblings from everyone at school?”
“I think so. We haven’t told anybody.”
Except for Maaya, that is.
“Then this could be problematic.”
“Problematic? I thought we were talking about our parent-teacher meeting?”
“We are. You see, Taichi-san is very busy right now.”
“I see…”
According to what Mom told me, it would be difficult for step-Dad to participate in the parent-teacher meetings. Mom obviously doesn’t want to force him, so she’s thinking of going to both meetings. If she went to both meetings for Asamura-kun and myself respectively on the same day, she would only have to take one day off.
“We’re a small bar, after all. I can’t take too many days off.”
The bar Mom is working at only has the manager, Mom, and a part-time employee as staff. That’s why she’d rather not leave too much of her schedule unfilled.
“That being said, if I went to both of the meetings on the same day, there’s a chance people might find out, no? You wouldn’t want that, right?”
A chance of people finding out that Asamura-kun and I are step-siblings. But even so—is it really that troublesome? After all, Asamura-kun and I eventually have to become proper siblings.
“Honestly, I don’t particularly mind either way.”
“Huh?” I subconsciously raised my head, looking at Mom’s face.
“It just doesn’t feel like he’s completely accepted me as a mother yet. Although it makes me feel lonely to admit that.”
I could barely contain my surprise. I see. So that’s what she meant when she said she didn’t want people to know that Asamura-kun and I have the same mother. Why was I just thinking about myself again? Mom made a wry smile, narrowing her eyebrows—Even though I don’t want her to feel that way at all.
She’s trying hard to be a good mother for Asamura-kun. I wouldn’t ever want her to feel inferior. I was about to speak and say “Mom, I…” but my voice caught deep in my throat. At that moment, I heard the front door opening, followed by Asamura-kun’s voice. The moment he entered the living room, my throat automatically produced a voice.
“Welcome home, Nii-san.”
“I’m back, Ayase-san.”
It took Asamura-kun a second, but he still called me ‘Ayase-san’, like he always has, even now. Well, he can’t just suddenly start calling me ‘Imouto-san’ or something like that. It’s not weird for him to keep saying what he has been so far. However, ‘Ayase’ was the name of a stranger, at least for him.
“What were you two talking about?” He glanced at my face, then Mom’s, and then spotted the handout lying on the table. “Ah.”
“You got it too, right? The future aspiration questionnaire.”
“Perfect timing.” Mom said, looking at Asamura-kun.
“Yes?”
“I talked to Taichi-san about how we should handle your parent-teacher meeting.”
Mom told Asamura-kun everything she had just explained to me. Wondering how she was going to convince him, I sat in silence, not commenting at all. However, when she got to that point, she said—
“That’s why I was thinking of coming to the parent-teacher meetings on two separate days.”
““Huh?!””
I let out a flabbergasted voice. She said it like she had been planning on doing so from the very beginning. But isn’t that too hard on her? At the very least, it seemed like Asamura-kun agreed with me.
“My old man isn’t the only one who’s busy, right? You work late at night at the bar, so isn’t it a stretch to make you come to school during the day?”
Asamura-kun was exactly right. And yet, Mom was smiling like there was nothing wrong with that. She quickly packed her bag and left, as it was time for her shift.
“Should she really be running around like that?”
“Don’t ask me. I just hope she doesn’t trip.”
What is this? Why didn’t she tell me the same thing when it was just the two of us talking? I’m confused. I can’t stay here. If I do, I’ll end up relying on Asamura-kun. My poker face will shatter. So I grabbed my sports bag.
“Oh? You’re leaving as well, Ayase-san?” Asamura-kun said as he turned towards me.
“It’s time for my shift.”
“Right. Take care.”
“Will do. Later, Nii-san.”
My response was pretty much automatic at that point. I’ve been getting used to calling him that, which was why the words came out of my throat even without me meaning to. But still, Mom’s face came to mind and wouldn’t leave. Even though she looked so hurt until the moment Asamura-kun arrived, she showed none of that to him. She’s got an even better poker face than I do.
She doesn’t want Asamura-kun to be overly considerate of her. She was pretending that she doesn’t want people to find out that we’re siblings, all for our sake. She gave up on doing both our parent-teacher meetings on the same day. Surely, that is the correct choice.
Even while working during my shift at the bookstore, that entire ordeal wouldn’t leave my mind. What should I do? What is the right choice to make?
“Excuse me?”
While I was busy organizing a shelf, a voice called out to me. It was a mother pushing a baby carriage, carrying a large-sized nursing magazine in her hand.
“Yes, how can I help you?”
“I was wondering if you had last month’s issue of this magazine? I missed my chance to buy it.”
When it comes to monthly magazines and issues, we usually send the ones that don’t sell back.
“I’m sorry, but no… Should I see if I can order one issue?”
Despite not having any confirmation if the publisher had any issues left, I still responded with these words.
“No, it’s fine. It just had an article I really wanted to read. Thanks anyway.”
“You’re welcome…”
“I’d like to buy this one, then.” She handed me this month’s issue, so I led her to the cash register.
I can’t make her carry such a large magazine while pushing the baby carriage, after all. Once we finished the payment, I politely sent her off, and she left the store. After that, I went back to my work once more, back to thinking once again. And I made up my mind. I can’t allow Mom to feel this way. Once I get home, I have to talk things out with Asamura-kun.
Having found this determination, I felt like something unpleasant inside of me had suddenly cleared up. In order to try to rationalize and erase these vague feelings I have for him, I’ve been trying to keep my distance, so it feels like it’s been a long time since I actually spoke to him at length.
Once my shift was over, I immediately headed home and quietly opened the door. I let out a quiet ‘I’m back’. Because it’s so late, it wouldn’t be weird for him to be in his room. I walked down the hallway, past the living room, and quietly knocked on the door to his room. However, no response came. I figured that he might have fallen asleep, or was taking a bath at that moment, so I entered the living room—and there he stood.
Not to mention that the dinner was fully prepared on the dining table, and there was no sign of him having eaten already. I was confused, so I asked him about it, to which he stated that he wanted to eat together with me. I don’t know why he suddenly brought that up, but it also matched perfectly with my own desire to talk with him.
““About the parent-teacher meeting…””
Our voices overlapped. Were we thinking about the same thing? That thought alone made me feel at ease. So we both decided to talk things through while eating dinner. It seemed like Asamura-kun had been concerned about it the whole day, just as much as I had been.
“That’s why I don’t think it’s right for Akiko-san to carry an even bigger burden.”
You’re not fair, Asamura-kun. This isn’t fair at all. Just as I am trying to get over my feelings, you make my heart tremble over such a minor thing. Knowing that he didn’t want Mom to go through any trouble made me feel genuinely happy.
“It’s more than just being a burden for her. All things considered, I simply want Mom to come to both our parent-teacher meetings.”
I know how hard she’s trying to become Asamura-kun’s new mother. So with that, we made up our minds and accepted the fact that the people at school might find out that we’re siblings. To us, this was a joint decision.