Guldrin’s Gluttony: Family Bound by Speed & Food

Chuck shuffled out of the meeting room, already feeling the pressure mounting on his shoulders. How exactly does one casually approach a kid with potential ties to a clandestine dynasty while also playing it cool about the fact that said kid could potentially out-drive James Bond? Oh, and let's not forget the really suspicious exotic-haired girl who somehow manages to vanish from every database like a magician. No big deal, right? Right.

By the time he got back to the Buy More, his nerves were shot. He threw himself into his usual spot behind the Nerd Herd desk, pulling at his hair as he brainstormed. How could he even start a conversation without tipping anyone off or, worse, making the kid think the Buy More was a front for some kind of tech cult?

Then it hit him. Beckman may have been throwing out random ideas, but a lottery could work, they had everything in place to make it believable.

"Emmett!" Chuck shouted across the sales floor, waving his arms like a man possessed.

Emmett Milbarge, the self-appointed czar of customer satisfaction and corporate micromanaging extraordinaire, minced over with the enthusiasm of a man who genuinely enjoyed filling out spreadsheets. "Bartowski, must you bellow? Some of us are working."

"Emmett, this is perfect. Perfect!" Chuck exclaimed, eyes wild with a newfound purpose. "Your customer review cards, they've been a huge success, right? Corporate loves them, right?"

Emmett adjusted his tie and puffed up with pride. "Of course. It was a stroke of genius on my part. Our engagement metrics have soared." He made an exaggerated hand gesture to emphasize his point.

"Great, because I'm thinking we use those cards for a… customer lottery!" Chuck clapped his hands together, his grin bordering on manic.

Emmett frowned. "Lottery? That sounds dangerously unorthodox. And expensive." He feared how much this lottery would cost the store, and in turn, force him to stay in this backwater store longer.

Chuck leaned in, lowering his voice. "No, no, no, it's genius. Think about it: one lucky customer wins a complete home tech makeover. State-of-the-art surround sound, next-level security systems, you name it. It'll be a PR goldmine. Corporate will love it, and you'll get all the credit for the idea."

Emmett's eyes narrowed suspiciously, but the idea of corporate accolades was visibly working its magic. "And this wouldn't cost the store anything?"

Chuck nodded vigorously. "Not a cent. It would be a special promotional budget, straight from headquarters. All we would need to do is file corporate for it, and get it approved." He tried to keep a straight face, thankful that, technically, he wasn't lying. The government was footing the bill, after all. Emmett didn't need to know that.

"Hmm," Emmett mused, rubbing his chin. "Fine. But I want my name on the press release. This was Emmett Milbarge's idea."

"Done and done! You're the boss, Emmett," Chuck said, spinning around and practically sprinting toward the break room before Emmett could change his mind. 'I am the boss, aren't I?' Emmett thought as he swaggered away.

Back in Castle, Chuck laid out his plan to Sarah and Casey, who both looked at him like he'd lost his mind.

"A tech makeover?" Casey growled, his tone dripping with sarcasm. "What's next, a spa day?"

"It's perfect," Chuck insisted. "It's low pressure, it's plausible, and it gives us access to their home… err, umm, Café-Garage? We install the upgrades, get to know them, maybe learn something about their past, and everyone's happy. And best of all, it is somewhat believable, with a little finagling, we will have an airtight cover."

Sarah raised an eyebrow. "You do realize this is going to take time, right? Weeks, maybe even a month. You would have to be undercover with them for all this time… You have no training, and it could be dangerous."

"Exactly!" Chuck said as if that were a selling point. "The longer it takes, the more chances I have to talk to them and, you know, subtly gather intel. Plus, I can customize everything based on their input. It's the ultimate icebreaker! The General didn't seem to consider it dangerous when she ordered me to make contact. I am just making her outline more plausible."

Casey muttered something about wasting taxpayer money on "extravagant nerd projects," but Beckman had already greenlit the plan, so there wasn't much he could do except grumble.

—

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-

Later that day, Guldrin and Shiro filled the open space in their room with all the stuff they bought earlier, completely unaware of what was going on at the Buy More. "Think we got everything?" Shiro asked as she fiddled around with the spare drone.

"Yeah, at least enough to help them out. Think of what Rika and Kohta can do with some drones, not to mention all the clothing, and other supplies. Before we send it, I guess I should sign-in here,"

"Ding, Congratulations on signing in at: Zombie Apocalypse Relief Supplies, you have received a 10x10 Tarp."

"A tarp… Useful? Maybe, or not, but let's throw it into the pile, I am sure someone will find a use for it." Guldrin chucked as he threw it into the pile, "Got the note ready?"

Shiro nodded, "Yup, a note saying we won't be returning for a while, but we will send multiple care packages with many useful items. I also included for her to try and send something through to us when the portal is open, we can find out if the portal works both ways."

"Smart, ready?"

"Ready," A blue portal with a black center appeared, and with a flash the supplies disappeared, the once massive pile gone. "Perfect, now, time to tinker, I want to see if I can make a fishing sword." Guldrin said, oddly set on this idea much to Shiro's amusement and frustration, "Please don't,"

"Can't hear you over the amazingness of my idea, la, la~ imma make a sword that fishes, la, la~" Shiro shook her head with a slight smile. The rest of the day was filled with taking apart electronics, parts, and even one of the back-up drones. Of course, he spent some time checking the Dominator's systems, but it was so far over his head, that he didn't even know where to start.

-

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—

The next day, Chuck dove into his elaborate scheme with the determination of a man who had everything to lose and absolutely no clue how to pull it off. The first step was identifying the lucky "winner" of the totally legitimate Buy More lottery. Thankfully, the assistant manager's recent insistence on customer review cards, an initiative no one had taken seriously except for Emmett, provided the perfect cover. 

As luck would have it, Guldrin had dutifully filled one out just before chaos descended upon the Buy More the other day. He was surprisingly thorough, he explained that Jeff and Lester made him uncomfortable, Anna was helpful, and Emmett was just weird how he hovered and watched everyone shop. Morgan surprisingly got a passing review, he was 'A human?' what does that mean; Chuck has no idea, but the 4 and a half stars spoke of something. Chuck almost felt bad for using it against the kid. Almost.

The address Guldrin had written down was... unconventional. It wasn't a typical suburban home or even a swanky apartment expected from a scion heir. It was a café-slash-garage. Chuck squinted at the card as if the letters might rearrange themselves into something more plausible. 

"Who lives in a garage?" he muttered, then remembered this was the same kid who tinkered with the display drones like they were Lego sets, and drove like he'd been born to do so. Of course, he lived in a garage.

Chuck spent the next several days making sure his ruse was bulletproof. The lottery had to seem authentic, so he drafted fake marketing materials with Buy More's logo plastered on every pixel. He roped in Anna Wu for graphic design help, her flair for dramatic fonts and garish color schemes ensured the promotional email looked like something corporate might actually approve.

Jeff and Lester, blissfully unaware of the real reason behind the lottery, were deployed as his store criers, shouting, "Win a tech makeover!" at anyone who wandered into the store. It wasn't exactly subtle, but then again, neither were they.

The makeover itself was where Chuck's nerdy heart truly shone. He spent hours researching the latest and greatest in consumer tech, curating a list of upgrades that would make even the most jaded Buy More customer drool. Surround sound systems, ultra-high-definition TVs, biometric locks, and voice-activated controls; Chuck planned to dazzle them with cutting-edge gear while subtly embedding CIA-grade surveillance equipment into the setup. 

Every camera, every motion sensor, every piece of tech would double as a window into Guldrin's mysterious world. And the best part? Thanks to the government's black budget, the sky was the limit. 

How well would that work? Hah, only time will tell.

By the end of the week, Chuck had assembled a dream team of installers, most of whom were hand-picked Nerd Herders; then he threw them out, the plan was to not startle the kid, not terrify him with Buy More's rejects of society.

Morgan Grimes, ever the loyal sidekick, insisted on tagging along, even though his technical skills were questionable at best. "I'm your man on the ground, buddy!" Morgan had declared, saluting dramatically. Chuck decided not to argue. "This is going to be sooo COOL!" Morgan was gushing about the idea and Chuck could only dryly chuckle; this was anything but cool, it was terrifying.

—

–

-

Finally, the big day arrived. Chuck stood outside the Toretto Café/Garage, balancing a box of tech gear and wearing what he hoped was a convincing smile. The shop buzzed with activity, voices inside, the clatter of dishes, and the low rumble of an engine being tuned in the adjacent garage. Chuck took a deep breath and raised his hand to knock, but before he could, the door swung open.

Guldrin stood in the doorway, his striking blue eyes locking onto Chuck's with a sharpness that made the Nerd Herder feel like a bug under a microscope. For someone so young, the kid had an uncanny ability to project authority. 

Beside him, Shiro peeked out, her white hair catching the light. Her expression was calm, almost amused, but there was a guarded edge in her posture, as if she were ready to bolt or fight at a moment's notice.

"Uh, hi!" Chuck blurted, his voice cracking slightly. He cleared his throat and tried again. "I'm Chuck. From Buy More. Remember? You, uh, bought some gadgets the other day. Well, guess what? You won the Buy More lottery! Congratulations! A totally free, comprehensive home tech makeover!" He raised the box for emphasis, grinning like a game show host.

Guldrin's head tilted slightly, his expression unreadable. "A tech makeover," he said slowly, as if testing the words. "For buying a soldering gun, circuits, RC cars, and some drones?"

Shiro crossed her arms, her smirk widening. "Sounds legit," she deadpanned, though her tone suggested she thought it was anything but.

Chuck shifted nervously. "Oh, it's, uh, part of our customer satisfaction initiative! You know, keeping customers happy, making sure they're satisfied with their experience at Buy More…" He trailed off, realizing he was rambling. "Those customer satisfaction cards you filled out, well we had a lottery… A totally random selection. Lucky you, you won, huh?"

The two exchanged a glance, some silent communication passing between them. After a moment, Guldrin stepped aside. "Come in," he said, his tone neutral but watchful.

Chuck and Morgan followed them inside, their eyes darting around the space. The café was an odd blend of cozy and industrial, with sleek tables and chairs juxtaposed against walls lined with tools, shelves of car parts essentials, and snacks. The smell of freshly brewed coffee mingled with the faint tang of motor oil. It was charming, in a chaotic sort of way.

As Chuck followed Guldrin and Shiro to the living area, he felt the weight of the moment pressing down on him. This was it, time to spew his elaborate ruse with layers of CIA-approved deception. He couldn't afford to slip up.

 Internally, he scrambled to refine his pitch, knowing full well that any misstep could blow his cover. 

Externally, he pasted on his most confident smile, though it felt more like a grimace.

He carefully placed the box of tech gear on a sleek, albeit slightly worn, wooden table that stood in the middle of the cozy yet industrial space. The room itself was an eclectic blend of functionality and personality. On one side, there were shelves stacked with car manuals, tools, and a random assortment of gadgets. On the other, a quaint café vibe peeked through mismatched chairs, a small espresso machine on a counter, and a lingering scent of freshly brewed coffee. It was a strange combination, but somehow, it worked.

Shiro couldn't stand his awkwardness and brought both Morgan and Chuck coffee, both were given a ton of sugar; how did she know that they liked sugar? She didn't, nor did she care, they were getting it anyway.

"Thank you," Morgan said, and all he got was a simple nod, and then Shiro walked away to stand next to Guldrin.

"So," Chuck began, rubbing his hands together nervously. He gestured to the box, like a magician unveiling his grand trick. "This makeover? It's all about you. We're talking the full package: surround sound, cutting-edge security systems, top-of-the-line entertainment centers, you name it. And the best part? You get to decide exactly what you want. Total customization."

Guldrin leaned back against the armrest of a well-worn couch, his sharp blue eyes studying Chuck like a chess master analyzing an opponent. He raised an eyebrow. "Customization," he repeated slowly, his tone as skeptical as his expression. 

Guldrin wasn't buying this in the slightest, but it was a surprisingly amusing way to pass the time. He would be a fool to be unable to piece this together; Chuck had led the woman and man to him at the store, which meant they were connected, and Guldrin had no idea what they really wanted, but if they were giving out free stuff, he would milk them dry.

Chuck nodded, his enthusiasm turning up a notch to compensate for the palpable doubt in the room. "Absolutely! Want a TV that can double as a computer monitor? Done. Need a security system so advanced it can detect a fly sneezing at fifty yards? You got it. And hey, if drones are your thing, I can throw in a few of those too. High-tech, military-grade, whatever makes your heart sing."

'Hahaha, he is really trying to sell this…' Guldrin was laughing internally while keeping his ever-present expressionless face on display.

"Meow!" Emily walked into the room and leaped onto Morgan's head, "Awww, a cute kiddy" Morgan began to pet her while Chuck was talking.

"Her name is Emily, she does what she wants, don't mind her, unlike most cats, she is well-behaved," 

'I will show you well-behaved!' Emily spoke in Guldrin's mind, and he nearly broke his facade.

Shiro, who had been quietly observing from the back of the room, tilted her head and smirked. "Why so generous?" she asked, her tone light but with an edge that suggested she wasn't buying the sales pitch. "For a store lottery? Seems like overkill."

Chuck froze for a fraction of a second, the smile on his face faltering before he recovered with a laugh that sounded just a little too nervous. "Oh, you know how it is, good business and all that. Happy customers are loyal customers, right? And who knows? Maybe you'll tell your friends, and they'll shop at Buy More too. It's a win-win! Free marketing… Well, not free, but free for our store, since corporate is paying." He rambled,

Guldrin and Shiro exchanged a glance, a silent conversation passing between them. Chuck couldn't tell if they were silently plotting his demise or just deciding whether they cared enough to argue. Finally, Guldrin shrugged. "Fine," he said. "But I want to see the equipment first. No surprises."

'If they try to put spy gear inside this tech, then I will sic Shiro and Skye on them. Imagine, spying on us only to be spied on in return. Ahaha, please, try and do something mister not 'Just a Buy More employee' Please, I just need an excuse and an in to search all your databases.' Guldrin thought to himself, his mind racing with ideas.

Chuck exhaled in relief, the tension in his shoulders easing just slightly. "Of course!" he said, his voice a little too enthusiastic. "I'll bring everything over tomorrow so you can check it out before we start installing. No surprises. Promise." 

He had full faith and confidence that these kids wouldn't figure out they were being spied on, it was the government, and there was no way some kids could find their hidden spy gear.

As Guldrin walked them to the door, Chuck shot Shiro a quick, friendly wave, which she returned with a faint smirk. It was hard to tell if she was amused or just enjoying his discomfort. Once outside, with the door securely closed behind them, Morgan finally broke the silence.

"Oh man," Morgan said, his voice low and conspiratorial, "that kid is scary. Like, Casey, scary. Are you sure we don't want to bring Casey tomorrow? Just, you know, for backup?" He shuddered theatrically. "And what was up with that girl? She's like a tiny, albino ninja. Chuck, what kind of mess did you get us into?"

Chuck sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Relax, Morgan, Buddy. It's just a tech makeover. A totally normal, not-at-all-suspicious tech makeover." His attempt at reassurance sounded hollow even to him.

Morgan frowned, his eyes narrowing. "Uh-huh. Totally normal. That's why we're installing super high-tech gadgets for a teenager who looks like he's plotting world domination and his sidekick, slash," He made a slashing gesture in the air, "Girlfriend who could probably assassinate us with a coffee stirrer."

Chuck didn't respond immediately, his thoughts racing. Morgan didn't know the real reason for the project, didn't know about the CIA or NSA, the intersecting layers of danger and intrigue, or the peculiar enigma that was Guldrin, and his background. 

As far as Morgan was concerned, this was just another weird day in the life of Chuck Bartowski, the Nerd Herder. And Chuck intended to keep it that way.

"Look," Chuck said finally, clapping a hand on Morgan's shoulder. "We're professionals, okay? We go in, do the job, and leave. No drama, no danger. Just a regular day at Buy More."

Morgan gave him a long, skeptical look. "Chuck, the last time you said something was 'just a regular day,' we ended up having a 'Pineapple' experience due to a gas leak. So forgive me if I'm not entirely reassured."

Chuck chuckled nervously, steering Morgan toward their Nerd Herd van. "Point taken. But seriously, it's going to be fine. What's the worst that could happen?"

Morgan muttered something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like, "Famous last words, Chuckster. Way to raise a death flag." but he didn't argue further.

As they drove back to the Buy More, Chuck's mind churned with plans. Tomorrow, the real work would begin. The challenge was installing the tech, and navigating the razor-thin line between friendly customer service and covert intelligence gathering. Guldrin and Shiro weren't ordinary kids, and this wasn't an ordinary house call. Chuck didn't know what secrets the café-garage held, but one thing was certain: he was about to find out. Whether he liked it or not.

(Give me your POWER, Please, and Thank You! Leave reviews and comments, they motivate me to continue.)