Hard Mode Idol

“I suddenly thought of it when I was alone since it was a place I had lived in for a long time. So I went to my studio. I fell asleep while lying down, and when I woke up, it was late, so I hurried back.”

This much should be plausible. I blurted out whatever came to mind, but I appealed that I rested and that it was unplanned.

“Sigh. If you had just answered the phone, we wouldn’t have been so worried.”

“…Yes.”

Seeing the record of over a hundred missed calls, I had nothing to say. Even Kanghyun had quite a share. Could it be that they came back early today because of me too? Then what time did they come?

“What time did you come back, hyungs? Did you come back early because of me?”

“Six o’clock. We called you at lunchtime to see if you were eating well, but you didn’t answer. We thought you might be sleeping, so we waited an hour, and waited another hour, but you still didn’t answer, so we came back. But you weren’t here, and we couldn’t reach you.”

Yoochan’s beautiful eyebrows furrowed. Did they think I ran away? There’s no reason for me to run away now.

“Where did he go? It would be a relief if he went to meet a friend, but what if he collapsed outside again? Is that why he’s not answering? Do you know how worried we were? Ilhan went to search the hospital looking for you. Seoho was about to run out too, unable to wait any longer.”

Wow…

How can their imagination run so wild? I was energetic right after being discharged, and even this morning, I ate well and finished an apple. Anyone could see that I’m the epitome of health, so why would I collapse?

“…I’m not that weak.”

Beep beep beep, beep beep beep. Beep beep beep, beep.

The sound of someone entering the door code was heard. They kept failing because of how fast they were pressing. Eventually, the code was correct, and when the door opened, there was Jung Ilhan, who had turned pale.

“Haon!”

He ran over in a hurry and hugged me tightly. The spring-scented wind entered my nose. A sigh of relief tickled my ear. Jung Ilhan lifted his head and made eye contact with me.

“I was worried… Where did you go…?”

Ah, my conscience is pricking me. The guilt was mercilessly digging into my heart.

“He went to his studio and fell asleep. His phone was on silent. Nothing happened that we were worried about.”

Yoochan explained instead of me. Cold hands gently cupped my cheeks.

“Is that so?”

I nodded in response to the question, seeking confirmation.

“Yes.”

“That’s a relief. As long as you’re safe.”

Why do the gently curved eyebrows look so pitiful? The cold, trembling fingers tapped my cheek as if conveying affection.

I could tell how worried they were about me. Beads of sweat had formed on Jung Ilhan’s forehead, clearly showing that he had rushed back. Yet he was saying it was fortunate without a single reproach.

I placed my hand over the back of Jung Ilhan’s hand. I tightly held his trembling hand, and his honest eyes gazed at me.

“I’m sorry. For startling you.”

“No. It can happen. I made a fuss for no reason. I was really surprised when you were hospitalized…”

Jung Ilhan smiled awkwardly. He’s really foolish.

“No, is that all? Our hyungs are too soft on Jin Haon, it’s a big problem. They’re all about to roll around on the maknae’s palm.”

Another fool clicked his tongue. Yoochan let out an empty laugh, saying, “That’s right.” There was a creaking sound of a door opening. Kanghyun, who had been quietly watching until now, went into his room. Even that practice-obsessed hyung came back early because of me.

If you think about it logically, there’s no way I could have collapsed somewhere. They abandoned practice and came back because I wasn’t answering, even during this important period? And not just one, but all the members?

I knew they all saw me in a good light. But it seems the extent of it was greater than I expected. I kept fiddling with the phone that no longer rang. The accumulated missed calls were a pile of their worries for me.

The incident of my running away on Monday completely ended with the director and manager’s loving nagging. Our daily life returned to normal. It means we were stuck in the practice room all week long.

I’m still in the middle of the weekly mission, and the main mission has come up to S, but I haven’t achieved S+ yet. Still, I’m not worried. Because I feel like S+ is truly within reach.

Even the clunky Jung Ilhan now dances quite decently. The more perfect we became, the more S grades we got.

“Guys! Gather around for a moment~”

The manager suddenly poked his head in. We, who were dripping with sweat, gathered together while catching our rough breaths. The wild bear group has assembled!

“Jeonggon hyung, what’s up?”

“Ta-da! Your concept photos are out!”

“They’re out just now?”

Seoho’s eyes sparkled. In the manager’s hand were our concept photo cards.

“Oh! Chani Chani Yoochan hyung~ It has a vibe.”

Seoho poked Yoochan’s side. As Yoochan got embarrassed and shy, Seoho added one more thing.

“High school vibe! That’s a relief. An ahjussi wearing a school uniform… Ack, hyung! Hyung! Our hyung , don’t use violence!”

“You deserve to be hit a little.”

“That’s too much!”

Foolish kids need to be hit to grow up. I shook my head while looking at Seoho from a step behind. Only the manager was grinning from ear to ear. Do we look like we get along well…?

“Ilhan hyung’s photo came out really well.”

I exclaimed while picking out Jung Ilhan’s photo from among the pictures. His fierce-looking face was portrayed as a chic visual in the photo. Is it editing skills? No, wait a minute.

“But weren’t we going for a refreshing concept?”

“Yeah. Refreshing…”

Jung Ilhan slightly held out another photo. Jung Ilhan in the photo, who was smiling shyly, was handsome, but somewhat far from being refreshing. Is this really refreshing? It’s strange. Isn’t it sexy? When he dances and does facial expressions, it does give off a refreshing vibe…

“Aha.”

I just nodded, having nothing to say. Let’s change our perspective. In the first place, his impression itself is fierce, so to this extent, it can be considered refreshing. What does it matter? If it’s refreshing, it’s refreshing. If anyone disagrees with Jung Ilhan, they’ll have to knock me down first.

I just passed over the photo of Seoho, who is the embodiment of refreshing. He’s such a mischievous kid. I couldn’t help but chuckle at the cute smile that seemed to capture his personality as it is.

“Hey, Jin Haon! What’s with you? Why are you laughing like that while looking at my photo?”

“Because you came out cute. They took it well, it looks just  like you.”

“I’m the definition of refreshing.”

“Yeah.”

“Put some soul into it when you say it!”

I did put my soul into it. You’re misunderstanding.

“I think Haon came out the best.”

Yoochan said while waving my photo. In it was a person who didn’t look like me. The cheeks were tinted with a peach color, and the bright smile was just a different person. Of course, the cheeks were makeup, and the smile was a fake one I created. Therefore, that’s not me.

“It feels more pure than refreshing.”

Ilhan hyung said while looking at another photo.

“What do you mean pure? It’s refreshing…?”

“Haon has delicate features. He’s pretty when he dances too.”

Kanghyun also mentioned me. It’s embarrassing. I did take good photos back then. I was about to just think that way and move on.

“Jin Haon’s face is turning red. He must be embarrassed. Hehehe.”

“Shut up!”

“Why, why~ Is Jin Haon embarrassed? Embarrassed? He’s unexpectedly shy.”

“…No, I’m not.”

Does the brain also stop functioning when heat rushes to the face? At times like this, I can only resent my stupid brain that can’t properly refute.

“Look. Kanghyun hyung’s photo came out well too.”

I chose to change the subject. I grabbed Kanghyun hyung’s photo and shoved it right in his face. In the photo, Kanghyun hyung, who seemed like a cold handsome guy but was actually a warm handsome guy, was smiling as if he felt refreshed. This was taken at the moment he was laughing at Seoho, right? I guess it felt quite refreshing.

“…Move it.”

What’s with this reaction? He can’t look at the photo straight and avoids eye contact. I brought it closer to his face, and he turned his head in the opposite direction. His neck and ears were flushed red.

“Could it be… Hyung, are you embarrassed?”

Seoho’s eyes lit up.

“What! Kanghyun hyung is also shy?”

“Not everyone in the world is as brazen as you.”

I defended Kanghyun hyung and put away the photo. If he’s embarrassed even though it came out well, I should put it away.

“If you want to give your photos to someone, let me know. I’ll bring as many as you need.”

The manager, who was watching us with satisfaction, said. Seoho raised both hands, bounced up and down in place, and exuded his presence.

“Me! Me! I want to give them to my mom, hyung, and sister!”

Yoochan also quietly requested 2 types, saying he wanted to give them to his parents. Jung Ilhan also requested 1 type, and Baek Kanghyun 1 type as well. I didn’t really have anyone to give them to, so I was going to refuse, but I decided to take them as mementos.

“I’ll take 1 type too.”

“Okay. I’ll bring them. You can go home this weekend. I need to give you the photos. Starting next week, you’ll have to practice continuously until the showcase, and after your debut, you’ll have to do music shows, so it will be hard to meet your families.”

I wonder how many times a week we’ll go on music shows. There will also be radio, variety shows, live broadcasts, and YouTube schedules, right? Since we’re rookies, it might not be that intense. We need to build recognition for them to call us here and there. I’ll have to choose between acting and skills to see which is better while spending this promotion period.

“Jeonggon hyung.”

“Yes? Yoochan, what is it?”

“Ilhan is from the countryside, so two days won’t be enough. Can you give him an extra day?”

“Ah! That’s right. Then I’ll give Ilhan a vacation starting from Friday.”

Jung Ilhan, who was thinking for a moment, shook his head.

“No. I’ll go on the weekend and come back. My skills are already lacking the most, so I can’t take extra vacation. I want to come back as soon as possible and practice.”

“Will it be okay?”

“You’ll give us vacation when the promotion period ends, right? We can meet again then.”

“Yeah, alright. I’ll do my best to get you on many good programs as much as you work hard, so look forward to it.”

We nodded with bright smiles. We need to appear on many famous programs to build recognition. Building a fandom is also only possible with recognition.

Jung Ilhan tapped Yoochan’s shoulder. Then he whispered something in a small voice. Seeing Yoochan nod with a smile, it seems he said thank you.