Harry Potter: The Witty Wizard

After her first cut and bite of lamb Tonks quietly moaned. When she swallowed her mouthful she said, "Merlin! The lamb just dissolves in your mouth!"

She then very quickly sampled the rest before turning to look back at Harry, again in awe. "Marry me!" she begged.

Scandalised, her mother exclaimed, "Nymphadora!"

Ted snickered.

"What?" Tonks innocently asked back. "I can't cook like this!"

Harry laughed and said, "Now you see why I had aspirations of being a chef when I grew up."

Monica glanced to her own daughter and saw the slight frown she was giving the Tonks girl. Her eyes twinkled with mirth as she watched.

It was lost on Hermione, though. The girl didn't see it; but Wendell saw both his ladies' reactions.

As the meal progressed, Ted and Wendell fell into an animated discussion about the differences in law between the wizarding world and muggle just as Harry thought they would; Monica was quizzing Sirius on the Noble and Most Ancient House of Potter, with specifics of Harry's parents; Hermione was talking across the table with Tonks about working in the Ministry and as an auror and why aurors were now conflicted about serving a duty or two in the Granger home (the conflict was due to feeling like idiots on one hand against the opportunity for a delicious meal on the other); and Harry was talking with Andi, jumping subjects between healing and cooking techniques.

When the dessert was served the Grangers went for the unsweetened cream while Harry, Sirius and the Tonkses went for the ice-cream. Then Tonks also added a dollop of cream, because she wanted to sample both.

One of the subjects raised was Harry finding out from Sirius that Lady Griselda Marchbanks of the WEA had been appointed Headmistress.

"How'd they manage that?" asked Harry. "I thought they couldn't fire him."

"The Wizengamot couldn't fire him, dear," said Andi. "But, the School Board found a way around that."

"Well, they didn't actually fire him," said Ted. "Just replaced him. Dumbledore is the only remaining member of staff who holds tenure. However, his tenure only applies to being a professor.

"So, they removed him from the post of Headmaster, declared it vacant, invited Griselda Marchbanks to fill the post, ratified that and she's now Headmistress.

"Dumbledore's back to being a normal professor; of Transfigurations, I believe. And Griselda has no plans on even allowing him to be Deputy Headmaster or a Head of House."

Sirius added, "When he came here earlier today and tried to get in, he had actually left the school without authorisation. Apparently, Lady Marchbanks is unhappy with him about that. And was even unhappier when she found out he won't be able to return to the castle until after lunch on Monday; which means he'll have missed the morning, too."

"But, with no classes on―" said a confused Hermione.

"Irrelevant," he grinned. "He's required to be at the school on time and during school hours unless given leave to be otherwise. Even if classes aren't on at the moment, he still left the school during school hours without authorisation from the new Headmistress. He's in trouble with her for that."

Harry was snickering and said, "Therefore, he's now either simply 'Professor Dumbledore' in the informal; or 'Albus Dumbledore, Professor of Transfigurations' in the semi-formal. He must really hate that."

"Worst than that," grinned Sirius. "He's lost control of the wards of the castle. Marchbanks wrested control of them from him, plus the Headmaster's... Headmistress's... office and apartments.

"From what I've been able to find out, he was away from the castle trying to go visit Minnie - where she's now back living in her family village in the highlands of Scotland - when the wards were stripped from him. He quickly tried to apparate back to the castle and bounced off the wards.

"When he bounced off yours it was the second time that day he'd hit wards and bounced."

Harry outright laughed, but he wasn't the only one.

The Granger adults only appeared amused at the laughter.

Wendell asked, "I take it it's a 'big thing' to bounce off wards?"

"As well as being rude? Try it with some wards and it'll kill you," replied Sirius, turning serious. "He was lucky neither set of wards were set to kill. That's why he was so battered and bruised after hitting the wards here. He'd only just recovered from his attempt at the castle a couple hours earlier."

"I just had these ones set to stun," explained Harry. "He dislocated his shoulder when he landed on the ground from bouncing off the wards. The wards didn't do that."

"The poor Headmaster," said Hermione, a little sadly.

"No, Miss Granger," Andi firmly rebutted. "That's the lingering effects of the potions speaking. You need to accept that everything that has... and likely will... befall that old man is entirely his own fault and cause.

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