LIGHTNOVELSTORY Chapter 31: Chapter 31: “The Map That Hates Us”
The group huddled around the Map of Infinite Misplacement, which was currently displaying an animated doodle of a duck tap-dancing on a crescent moon.
"What is it doing?" Mika asked, her voice a mix of irritation and disbelief.
"Quirks," Fergus said, waving his hand dismissively. "It'll settle in a moment."
The map flashed, showing a glowing path leading through a forest. Then it abruptly crumpled itself into the shape of a paper airplane and launched toward Kazuya's face.
"Why is it attacking me?!" Kazuya yelled, dodging the airborne map.
"It's testing us," Fergus said, chasing after the map as it looped through the air like a drunken bird.
"This isn't a test; it's harassment!" Mika snapped, trying to snatch the map mid-flight.
The map evaded her, unfolding itself in midair to display a new set of instructions:
"Step One: Find the nearest duck pond."
The Duck Pond Detour
After several hours of trekking, they arrived at a murky duck pond. The map, now floating, emitted a low hum before displaying a new message:
"Step Two: Quack convincingly."
"You've got to be kidding me," Mika said, glaring at the map.
"Maybe it's some kind of magical password?" Fergus suggested.
Lyria shrugged. "Worth a try."
Kazuya stepped forward, cleared his throat, and gave the most lackluster "quack" imaginable.
The map buzzed angrily.
"Put some feeling into it!" Fergus urged.
"Fine," Kazuya grumbled, taking a deep breath. "QUACK!"
The pond rippled ominously, and a single duck emerged from the water. But this was no ordinary duck—it was twice the size of a normal duck, with glowing red eyes and a tiny wizard hat perched on its head.
"Uh, guys?" Lyria said, backing away.
The duck honked, and the sound was deafening.
"It's a battle duck!" Fergus shouted.
The Great Duck Duel
The battle duck flapped its wings, summoning a torrent of water that drenched the group.
"This is ridiculous!" Mika yelled, drawing her sword.
"Ridiculous but deadly!" Fergus countered, pulling out his enchanted spoon.
As the duck charged, Kazuya grabbed a stick and swung it like a baseball bat. He managed to land a solid hit, sending the duck spiraling into the pond.
"Nice one!" Mika said.
The duck resurfaced, now glowing ominously. It opened its beak and spat a fireball directly at Kazuya, who barely managed to dive out of the way.
"Why can it do that?!" he yelled.
"It's a wizard duck!" Fergus shouted. "What did you expect?!"
Lyria, laughing despite the chaos, cast a spell that created a massive bubble around the duck. For a moment, it looked like they had the upper hand.
Then the duck popped the bubble with its beak and summoned a mini cyclone.
"This is the worst day of my life," Kazuya muttered as he was swept off his feet.
Victory Through Absurdity
In a moment of desperation, Mika hurled a loaf of bread at the duck.
The duck froze, staring at the bread like it had just seen the face of a god. Slowly, it waddled over, picked up the bread in its beak, and honked happily.
"It just... wanted bread?" Mika asked, incredulous.
The map floated over to the duck, which quacked twice before the map unfolded and displayed a new set of instructions:
"Proceed to the Cave of Questionable Smells."
"I hate this map," Kazuya said, still sprawled on the ground.
The Journey to the Cave
As they followed the map's new directions, the group discovered that its quirks only got worse.
Every few minutes, it would change languages, forcing Fergus to translate bizarre phrases like, "Turn left at the tree that looks slightly judgmental."
At one point, it unfolded into a life-sized cutout of a shirtless Kazuya holding a sword.
"What the hell is this?!" Kazuya shouted, blushing furiously.
"Fan art?" Lyria suggested, trying not to laugh.
"It's oddly flattering," Mika said, smirking.
Kazuya groaned and folded the map back into its original form, only for it to display yet another ridiculous instruction:
"Clap thrice and sing a song about cheese."
The Cave of Questionable Smells
When they finally reached the cave, it was worse than they imagined. The entrance reeked of old socks and sulfur, and the interior was lit by flickering green flames.
"This place is cursed," Mika said, covering her nose.
"Stay positive!" Fergus said, marching ahead.
As they ventured deeper, they encountered a series of bizarre traps, including a floor that turned into quicksand made of jelly and a hallway filled with farting statues.
"Why does everything in this cave hate our dignity?" Kazuya asked as he narrowly avoided a jelly pit.
The Final Test
At the heart of the cave, they found a pedestal holding a glowing orb. The map floated above it, displaying one final instruction:
"Tell the orb your deepest secret."
"Nope," Mika said immediately.
"Come on," Fergus said. "It's probably not that bad."
Mika glared at him. "You first."
Fergus hesitated. "I... sometimes talk to my enchanted spoon when no one's around."
The orb glowed, and the map buzzed approvingly.
Lyria went next. "I once stole a pie from the royal kitchens and blamed it on the cat."
The orb glowed again.
Mika groaned. "Fine. I once... accidentally shaved off my eyebrows and pretended it was a magical curse."
The orb glowed brighter.
Kazuya sighed. "I... actually enjoy this ridiculous quest."
Everyone stared at him.
"Don't look at me like that!" he said, blushing. "It's kind of fun!"
The orb exploded in a burst of light, revealing the next artifact: a tiny crystal shaped like a chicken.
"Why is it always chickens?!" Kazuya yelled.
The map buzzed, displaying its final instruction:
"Cluck for victory!"