I Became a Fake Priest the Saintess Is Obsessed With

24 – Our Lizard Bites Well~

One day, I found myself drinking at Tina’s persuasion again.

When she’s drunk, Tina tends to tell interesting stories about herself.

I’ve never seen her sober, so I don’t know if she’s always talkative, but that day, she started babbling.

“hehehe… Ivan, do you know this?”

“What? What is it?”

“Even when I look like this, I’m called the sword that can cut anything! Amazing, right?”

“Wow, that’s impressive.”

“hehehe, right? Give me more praise!”

“You’re really amazing.”

***

The conversation from that day lingered in my head even after sobering up from the alcohol.

I thought of her as the best self-defense weapon,

trusted Tina and swung her, but the sword didn’t cut the guy.

[Hmm… What’s this? Is it already morning?]

Tina’s groggy voice woke me up from sleep.

I looked down at Tina with a puzzled expression.

“Miss Tina. You said you could cut through anything with that sword of yours.”

[Huh? Yeah, that’s right.]

“But why can’t you cut through this flesh?”

[Isn’t that because you lack strength? I, on the other hand, have such high strength that I can cut through anything…]

“Are you saying I’m so weak that I can’t even cut through flesh?”

[Well… I guess so?]

I glanced at my own forearm for a moment.

My slender arm looked nothing like the sturdy arm of a grown man.

Is it really that weak?

I knew I was a bit frail, but this is too much.

I cried out in frustration.

“Don’t be so disheartened, Ivan. Cutting flesh is actually harder than you think.”

“But this is ridiculous! I used a tool, but I could support my weight with this arm and even climb over a wall!”

[Is that so? Isn’t that strange? You have the right to wield me, and you have that much strength, but you can’t do that?]

“You lied to me after all! This cheap toy knife!”

“No, I didn’t! Try wielding me again. I’ll try to figure out what the problem is.”

I listened to Tina’s words and grabbed her.

“Am I holding you properly? I’m putting all my strength into it!”

[Is this it? It’s because you lack power…]

“Quiet down, now that guy’s here!”

Interrupting Tina, who kept poking at his pride, the amalgam rushed in.

Dodging his moves, seizing the opportunity when he stumbled, I swung my arm with added force.

But my arm didn’t cut through.

[Hmm, your stance was perfect and the power was there.]

“Look! Is this even reasonable?”

[But there’s just one problem. I become sharp based on the strength of the wielder, you see?]

“…No way.”

[Yes… Your strength is lacking, so I’ve become blunt. I’m more like a club now than a sword.]

In the end, it’s saying that I lack power.

Frowning with arrogance, I opened the quest window.

[Sub Quest: Subdue the amalgam in the kitchen and treat it]

Time remaining: 2 minutes

Reward: 10,000 PP

※Failure will result in Nasun, Candle, Sireen, and Lily’s deaths.

I wasted a lot of time with useless actions.

Darn it, I never wanted to use this unless absolutely necessary…!

In the end, I firmly decided to bring out ‘it’.

It has a cruel nature and doesn’t listen to people.

Having persuaded and barely managed to capture the guy, he was someone who could take my life if I ordered him to attack such a dreadful creature. But now, there was no other way.

“Help, Sillya!!!”

He pulled out the sinister serpent from the bag and hurled it at the Fusion Entity.

Sillya soared and landed on the Fusion Entity’s arm.

“Kyek?”

The Fusion Entity looked at Sillya, trying to twist and detach its arm in various directions.

However.

-Thud…

Sillya, using his sturdy arms and legs, twisted the Fusion Entity’s arm backward.

“Kieeek!!!”

The Fusion Entity thrashed violently.

Sillya, with a triumphant sound as if mocking, slammed the creature’s head into the ground and stomped on it with his foot.

It was a perfect display of joint control and dominance.

“Wow… what’s that? A dragon?”

“Don’t compare Sillya to sacred creatures like dragons. Sillya is just a pet serpent.”

“That thing… a serpent…?”

Ignoring Tina, who had unexpectedly returned to a human form, Sillya approached.

“Good job, Sillya! I believe in you…”

Sillya’s gaze was unsettling.

Could he be ready to tear me apart and kill me at any moment?

I cannot read his thoughts, but at least, those aren’t eyes looking at my master.

‘I should give him a snack later to comfort him.’

I thought about apologizing to the adolescent lizard next time for bothering him.

Since treating him was more important than anything else, I approached the fusion being.

‘How… do I treat this?’

As I approached him, a question arose.

Even if I tell him to be treated, how on earth do I treat him?

Will using Absolute Healing work?

If it’s a creature created by connecting people and using abilities, will it be healed in the state of fusion?

Or will it return to its state before the fusion?

“I don’t know! I offer this flesh and soul to my god, Mother Earth, so please raise the lamb again!”

Realizing the urgency, I used Absolute Healing recklessly.

The first thing I felt was the pain of my arm breaking.

‘Ugh… Is this the attack of Silly?’

The pain that roughly guessed as an attack was followed by intense muscle pain.

A dizzying pain that envelops the whole body, pain that makes it difficult to stand, and I lost my balance in agony.

Successively, sensations as if parts of the body were being torn apart were felt.

“Kkuh…!”

In a state where I cut off my arms and legs, it felt like cutting the stomach and pulling out the intestines.

Eyes, liver, spleen, lungs, heart…

They keep slipping away from the body one after another.

“Cough! Cough!”

It feels like blood will spew from the throat, but it’s just empty coughing, repeating several times.

Of course.

In reality, there’s no blood in the throat; it’s just the sensation, so why would one vomit blood?

The body is fine, yet it only suffers pain, creating a sense of dissonance.

And that dissonance seems to distract the mind.

“aaah!!!”

It crumples.

My flesh, my soul, all crumpling into pieces.

Something indescribable wraps around the body, impervious to any pain.

“What’s, what’s wrong, Ivan?!”

Looking down at me, who is having a seizure, she exclaimed.

“Did I make you drink too much lately?”

For a moment, I almost lost consciousness, but hearing Tina’s words snapped me back to reality.

“Ugh… You’re right…! Because of you, my recent stats seem abnormally high due to excessive drinking…”

I gritted my teeth, enduring the pain, acknowledging this truth.

“Waaah!!! I’m sorry, Ivan! I knew it was your limit, but I kept pushing it! I’m sorry!!!”

She apologized to the author of this mentally deranged fairy with a sword.

[The goddess uses sensory nullification, feeling pity for your suffering]

At that moment, a goddess with a good sense freed me from agony.

“If you knew that, shouldn’t you have been more moderate?!”

“Eek!”

I sprang up from the floor and smacked Tina across the face.

Receiving a blow, Tina huddled in a corner, starting to sniffle.

“That’s too much… I was genuinely worried, you know…”

Was I too harsh?

Even so, my true intentions are kind…

Although I considered giving up because my heart was weakening, recalling the pain and hangovers I’ve endured for about a week due to that woman made me persist.

“Sigh… Still, it’s embarrassing. Should I teach her how to brew alcohol later?”

It was challenging to obtain ingredients for making fake medicine when crafting a placebo. Inspired by observing drunk people, I thought of creating fake medicine with alcohol.

Since there was no liquor to take while drinking a little from the pill, I learned the art of distillation from a craftsman, claiming to make special alcohol.

Well… realizing it was ultimately an absurd idea, I gave up. Yet, the method of distillation lingered in my mind.

Tina always carried around alcohol, so I wondered if she’d appreciate learning how to make it.

The process is quite intricate, requiring many ingredients, but someone with that level of affection for alcohol might find it useful.

Considering that alcohol is already considered a luxury item and is expensive to purchase, making it myself would be more economical…

“First, let’s see how the fusion turned out.”

Dizzy from the pain I just felt, I staggered to my feet.

‘Ugh… Is this more difficult than I thought…?’

Though I stood up, dizziness made it hard to find my balance.

A sensation lingered as if my legs had been severed.

Stumbling as I walked, Silly supported me with her body.

“Sillya…!”

Since puberty hit, she had never shown such a kind gesture, making me genuinely moved.

Even so, she helps when her owner looks troubled…!

It felt like the sudden filial piety of a daughter who used to always fight, surprising her mom.

Supported, I slowly surveyed the spot where the fusion used to be.

‘…Gone?’

However, the fusion was nowhere to be found.

I turned my gaze, searching for the fusion.

Instead, what I found there shocked me, widening my eyes.

There were two kids.

Presumably, the two kids lying naked there were used as materials for the fusion.