I Became the Drug-Addicted Childhood Friend

Translator: Elisia

Editor/Proofreader: SemiPickle

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I looked at the flickering screen.

It brightened.

Then it darkened.

It brightened again.

Then darkened again.

The broadcasts aired on the television.

I didn’t even pay attention to what they were about.

I switched channels while sitting on the bed.

[2 hours 10 minutes]

One syringe remained.

I was holding it now.

Just having it with me made me feel a little at ease.

If Han Si-Hoo brought the drugs from home, I wouldn’t have to use this.

“I need to get more drugs.”

I needed more.

I couldn’t be a burden to Han Si-Hoo.

I needed to get more drugs.

I had been thinking about that for three hours.

“…Need to get…”

I mumbled as I flipped through the channels.

– “On the scene where Academy students played an active role…”

– “This is the location for the Awakener Union meeting.”

– “The 15 districts of New Seoul are reopening. We have received news that the dungeons and gates have been cleared.”

I see.

Interesting.

Isn’t there something more entertaining?

– “The market for large monster weapons is expanding.”

Firearms and something similar to cannons appeared.

There were even more weapons like swords and spears.

I guess it’s because guns don’t work well on monsters.

– “The export volume has hit an all-time high…”

“…Huh?”

It wasn’t the export part that surprised me.

There was a familiar image.

“I’ve seen that before.”

It was a company logo.

I had seen it on a passing truck.

It was probably a weapon transport vehicle.

“The drawing on the drug box.”

I remembered the box that had contained the drugs I had seen in the medical room.

I stared at it for so long that I remembered it.

I couldn’t read the letters written on the box, but I remembered the picture.

The logo attached to the box.

A geometric drawing made of squares.

I didn’t know what company it was.

Did that company make the drugs?

At the very least, they might have transported them.

A company supplying military weapons.

Were they also supplying weapons to the Academy?

“…Should I look into it later?”

Look into it?

I still didn’t know what it was, or where I should go.

There wasn’t enough information yet.

Even if I found out how the drugs were made, getting them was a different issue.

– “With the help of the new weapons system, the Red Dragon subjugation has been successfully completed.”

This world had dragons roaming around.

On the screen, there was something presumed to be a dragon’s corpse.

Monsters, also called beasts.

If you left their corpses alone, they would just evaporate.

Except for important items.

I didn’t know why.

“What a strange world.”

I didn’t know why I even existed in this world.

No matter how much I thought about it, I couldn’t find an answer.

[2 hours 5 minutes]

I still had a lot of time left, but I was already feeling bad.

“Am I the weird one?”

In the end, the conclusion was simple.

Use more drugs.

But it felt like it was still a bit too early, so I decided to wait.

Slight anger.

I knew it in my head.

Self-destructive urges weren’t good.

Willpower.

The problem was willpower.

But I didn’t have the strength to hold on any longer.

“Living is such a hassle…”

Negative words poured out.

The drug’s effects were still active.

I wasn’t feeling hopeless enough to give up, so I held on.

“…Maybe dying wouldn’t be so bad.”

No.

Not yet.

I checked the syringe in my hand.

As long as I had drugs left, I was fine.

I sensed a strange atmosphere.

There was someone nearby.

“…Si-Hoo?”

“-Oh, yeah. I’m back.”

I hadn’t heard the sound of the door opening outside.

Probably because of the sound from the television.

He likely didn’t hear what I said either.

Probably.

“Welcome back. Did you bring the drugs?”

I greeted Han Si-Hoo.

It must have been a hassle going all the way home.

“……”

Maybe it wasn’t that long of a wait.

Had it been about four hours?

I was glad there was a television.

Waiting wasn’t boring because of it.

[1 hour 59 minutes]

“Did you bring the drugs?”

I could feel my heart beating in anticipation.

I wanted to use the drug.

It wasn’t for any other reason; it had a healing effect too.

I needed to treat my wounds.

“……”

Han Si-Hoo seemed to be thinking about something.

His expression was dark.

Did something happen?

“Wasn’t there any drugs?”

Maybe there weren’t any left at his house.

Maybe someone had stopped by and taken the drugs.

“No, there were.”

Han Si-Hoo answered.

He said there were drugs.

“Really? Then you brought them, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Then?”

Why wasn’t he giving them to me?

He seemed hesitant.

“…Are you planning to use it?”

“Yeah.”

Right now.

I had to.

I was feeling terrible right now.

Why go to the trouble of finding the drugs if I wasn’t going to use them?

No, don’t get angry.

Si-Hoo went through the trouble for me.

“I haven’t used this yet. If you have the drugs, I can use them now.”

I held out the backup syringe Han Si-Hoo had given me.

This one was pretty weak.

“What do you think the drug at home is?”

“A drug that heals wounds.”

“What exactly does it treat?”

“…Are you teasing me?”

Everything hurts.

“No. Sorry. I didn’t mean it that way…”

“I know what you’re worried about, but it’s fine, so just give it to me.”

I understood his concern.

It was about not knowing what was in the drug.

But that was the same with the syringes from the Academy.

The ones given by the doctor worked better.

So I should use the one the doctor gave me.

“Sorry. Even though I know it could be dangerous for you, and that the doctor gave it… I can’t give it to you now. It’s too dangerous.”

Dangerous, huh.

Not using the drugs was the most dangerous thing.

Why did he bring them if he wasn’t going to give them to me?

Did he even bring them at all?

I hadn’t even seen them yet.

“Then, is this drug safe?”

I showed him the syringe he had given me.

The one from the Academy.

Its performance was terrible, and its effects were short-lived.

This one was a strange drug.

[1 hour 53 minutes]

Even though the effects were still active, I was feeling terrible.

I was afraid I might get angry at Han Si-Hoo if things went wrong.

“It’s safe.”

Even as he said that, Han Si-Hoo didn’t seem too sure of himself.

I wanted to ask him what he was basing that on.

If I pressed him, I might end up getting angry.

“Ah, okay.”

“Sorry.”

“You’re… Well, I guess. Yeah. But why do you trust the Academy so much? I hate the Academy…”

I rambled.

“If I don’t have drugs, I can’t heal, I can’t… Why won’t you give me the drugs? Are you saying it’s better for me to keep suffering? Why…”

Stop talking nonsense.

It was hard to control.

Getting angry like this was the problem.

I needed to use the drug.

-Click.

The automatic syringe was convenient.

I just had to press it.

I used the drug before I could make the wrong choice.

[6 hours 33 minutes]

The anger subsided.

The negative emotions vanished as well.

Drugs were drugs after all.

“Ah, sorry. I said some weird things… Thank you for going all the way home to get the drugs.”

I didn’t forget to thank him.

Looking back, I realized I had been a bit rude.

Immediately asking if he brought the drugs the moment he came back.

“It’s fine. You don’t have to apologize.”

Han Si-Hoo said that, but he looked like he had lost a lot of confidence.

There was still something strange about the atmosphere around Han Si-Hoo.

It seemed like he had gotten even darker.

“Sorry, about the drugs… Just handle them for me. Earlier, I only said weird things because I hadn’t used the drug yet, so don’t worry.”

I decided to leave it to Han Si-Hoo.

Now that I had used the Academy drug, it wasn’t so bad.

I should have used it earlier before I said anything wrong.

I didn’t know why I hesitated so much.

“Hey, Seo-Ah.”

“What?”

“The Academy contacted me, and they said they can keep supplying the drugs you’re using now.”

“Ah.”

“So… Let’s only use the other drugs when we really need them.”

“Okay. That’s fine.”

That was reasonable.

I didn’t know when I’d really need them.

How would I even know when that time came?

“And the drug I brought…”

“Yeah?”

“No, it’s nothing. I’ll tell you later.”

Later?

It didn’t seem like an important story.

“Why do you look so down? It’s not because I said something weird earlier, is it?”

I asked as I sat on the bed.

I felt a little anxious.

I couldn’t remember exactly what I had blurted out before using the drug.

“No, it’s not that.”

No matter what, something felt off.

Even if my emotions were dulled, I could still notice this much.

He clearly didn’t look like he was in a good mood.

“I just… Seo-Ah, there’s something I want to ask you.”

“Hmm?”

“I want to hear about what’s happened

so far.”

Han Si-Hoo was about to ask me something.

What’s happened so far.

There was a lot.

“Hmm.”

Even if he asked, I might not be able to answer everything, but I was curious about what he wanted to know.

“…So.”

Han Si-Hoo hesitated for a long time before starting.

What was he trying to say?

“When I went home earlier… Why was your house in such a state?”

“Huh?”

The state of my house?

Was there something wrong?

“It was a complete mess.”

“Really?”

A mess?

Was my house that dirty?

At worst, maybe there was a bit of dust.

It was a house in the slums; wasn’t he expecting too much?

I was satisfied living there.

As long as the drugs were within sight, it was fine.

“The floor was covered in broken glass, and the mirror too…”

“R-right?”

Now that he mentioned it, I did remember something had been lying around near the entrance.

The bottle that had held the pills was broken.

I vaguely remembered cleaning it up halfway.

The mirror had been broken too.

Had I broken it?

“Maybe that’s true.”

Looking back, it seemed my house had been pretty dirty.

“What about the junk piled up in your room? Chains and stuff.”

“Junk, chains? Oh, that.”

I should have cleaned up the house.

It was a hassle, so I just lived with it.

The drugs were in the living room, so I should have just taken those.

He must have taken a good look around the house.

“I thought you might have picked them up from around the area. Why were you keeping them in your house?”

“Well…”

I really had picked them up from around the area.

It was back when I didn’t fully understand how good the drugs were.

Did I throw them all away?

I didn’t understand why I made that decision.

“I-I don’t remember.”

Let’s go with that.

It was too much trouble to explain.

Would he realize I was lying?

It was just because I didn’t want to take the drugs at the time.

I wanted to see how long I could last without them.

Looking back, it was an incredibly foolish thing to do, but back then, I had just thought it was something I needed to do.

“Is it something hard for you to talk about?”

“……”

It was hard.

I had no idea where to start.

Saying I didn’t remember was an excuse, but it was also true to some extent.

“Well, you see…”

There wasn’t much to it.

I had blocked off the door with the junk I gathered and tried to see how long I could hold out without using the drugs.

The plan was to gradually increase the time I could endure.

[-1 minute]

When the numbers dropped below zero, I didn’t want to live anymore.

I tried not to think about what had happened back then in too much detail.

[6 hours 26 minutes]

What would I do if I suddenly felt bad again?

It would be a problem if the drugs Han Si-Hoo brought weren’t enough.

That’s when the drug the doctor gave me would really be necessary.

Oh, maybe that wouldn’t be so bad.

Huh?

Maybe I should just use it.

There was no need to save the drugs unnecessarily.

Let’s not save them.

Use them while I still can.

How strange it was to suddenly feel like dying.

Always living happily, peacefully, and for a long time was the best.

Back to the point.

Anyway, I needed to explain to Han Si-Hoo.

“That… well, how do I put it…”

I should try to summarize it in one sentence.

He was so curious, after all, so it was only right to answer.

I guess I could say it was because I couldn’t take the drugs.

My mental state wasn’t in great condition.

Looking back now, it was really ridiculous.

Why had I hated taking the drugs so much back then?

The doctor said they were good for me.

Only when I took the drugs could I say I was in my right mind, but back then, I thought I was fine.

I just didn’t want to admit I was sick.

If you’re sick, you should just take the medicine.

“If it’s hard to talk about, you don’t have to.”

Han Si-Hoo seemed even more down.

“…Yeah, sorry.”

I had been about to explain, but I ended up thinking for too long.

That was one of the few downsides to the drugs.

I just ended up lost in thought.

“It’s fine.”

Since he said it was okay if I didn’t say anything, there was no need to force an explanation.

“Do you have anything else you want to ask?”

I could answer some other questions to some extent.

Probably.

Han Si-Hoo hesitated.

It looked like there was something he wanted to say.

“…I’ll ask you later.”

“Later?”

“Yeah. Later.”

I didn’t care either way.

“I don’t know everything that happened to you, but when you’re ready to talk about it, let me know.”

“I will.”

“No matter what bad things happened to you… I’ll make sure nothing like that ever happens again.”

“O-okay.”

I hadn’t really gone through anything bad.

Who would have done something to me?

I had never let anyone bad into my house.

It seemed he had misunderstood something because my house was a mess.

When he said he wouldn’t let anything like that happen again, I assumed he meant he’d protect me.

I should take it as a good thing, right?

“I trust you.”

I smiled as I said that.

Smiling was the thing Yoo Seo-Ah was best at.

I must have smiled well.

But really, I could trust him, right?

There’s no way a bad person would give me drugs.

When I first got stabbed by the knife, I thought Han Si-Hoo hated me, but looking at his attitude now, it didn’t seem that way.

Han Si-Hoo was still treating Yoo Seo-Ah as his childhood friend.

Right?

I resisted the urge to check if the scar on my abdomen was still there.

I had been stabbed back then.

No, we’re friends.

It’s fine.

It was peaceful.

Good.

It felt more comfortable than when I was at home.

With Han Si-Hoo around, I felt safer.

What if I used the better drugs here?

The ones the doctor gave me.

Yeah.

A slight smile spread across my lips.