Chapter 20
‘You overestimate me too much.’
Should I say he overestimates me or he underestimates himself too much?
Come to think of it, Rudrick was also like that from the beginning.
He always says I’m great, but he weirdly brings down himself too much. He thinks that it would be hard for me when I’m with him because of his lack of confidence.
And even though he decided to be my friend, his thoughts remained the same, and nothing has changed.
“Well, but Dahlia would be annoyed next time and… you don’t have to do that because of me…”
Even now, he was still showing signs of restlessness. Like someone who had received undeserved attention, he glanced at me with no rejection or acceptance in his expressions.
As I watched him, I sighed and said.
“Rudrick.”
“Huh?”
“I’m not that great of a person.”
Rudrick looked puzzled at my sudden remark.
After staring at him for a while, I quickly made up my mind.
I was going to tell him everything that happened anyway.
I continued with an expression on my face that was more serious than ever.
“Really. I’m a child that falls less than what you thought of me. Do you know the triple beat of despair?”
“No…”
“Tone-deaf, beat-deaf, and bad at dancing.”
I pointed to myself proudly.
“I have all three of them.”
Rudrick’s eyes staring at me looked confused. It seemed that he couldn’t get a sense of what I was trying to say.
“You think that’s all? I have great magic affinity and couldn’t swing a sword. What’s swinging? I told you before I’d become a swordmaster someday, but I quit after two rounds of training.”
“…”
“Does that mean I’m smart? No, all the tutors that taught me said this, ‘The little miss has a terrible way of losing her brains’.”
“I see…”
“I’m a little slow, I’m a little sulky, I hold a lot of grudges, oh? And…”
Now Rudrick looked half resigned. I burst into laughter at the sight. Then I continued quietly, passing by.
“…There were a lot of things I’m scared of. I didn’t know either.”
Rudrick carefully called my name, in case I looked serious. But I didn’t answer and asked another question.
“You know, do you remember the first time I lied?”
Rudrick, who was about to reach out to me, stiffened.
Frozen for a moment, Rudrick quickly loosened his expression and smiled awkwardly, answering, ‘Yes’.
But seeing Rudrick’s reaction clearly, I laughed bitterly.
Yes, it would be unforgettable. It was the main cause why the misunderstanding between Rudrick and I deepened, and the beginning of the incident.
So, it wasn’t an easy topic to talk about yet.
“As a matter of fact…”
But there’s something I haven’t told you yet.
“I found out pretty quickly that you caught me lying to you.”
“…Huh?”
“My mother asked me. When did I become fond of beans?”
“…”
Rudrick looked at me with his mouth shut.
The gaze toward me felt like he was worried for some reason rather than feeling betrayed, so I smiled a little at Rudrick. Then I briefly explained what happened that day.
Starting with the accidental story of Rudrick, while having dinner with my parents, my mother found Rudrick, who brought a snack for me.
Of all things, the snack was black bean pound cake and the story of my mother who already felt strange about the black bean pound cake at dinner.
“When we secretly switched plates, my mother was actually watching.”
“The Duchess?”
“Yes, I’m a little embarrassed when I bragged that we wouldn’t get caught.”
Rudrick shook his head when he apologized and said “sorry” for no reason.
Rudrick, scratching his slightly flushed cheeks while saying, “I’m a little embarrassed.”
I laughed and said to him.
“Anyway… that’s when I found out. Oh, you caught me lying!”
I took a breath.
“I tried to apologize right away. In fact, I was feeling something different before, but I was frustrated because I didn’t know the cause. But when I learned that you caught me lying, I hesitated because I thought you must be mad at me.”
“…”
“I was going to apologize, but when I stood in front of you…”
As I glanced ahead, blurring my words, Rudrick was looking down. My mouth suddenly felt dry. I hesitated for a moment, then spit out the words I had hidden.
“I couldn’t speak out of nowhere.”
Rudrick’s body flinched.
“I’m scared. What if you’re angrier than I thought, what if I apologize and you won’t accept it?”
“…”
“…What if you’re really, badly mad at me?”
It became silent for a moment. Rudrick didn’t say anything either. There was an awkward silence and I muttered a little shamefully.
“Pathetic, wasn’t it?”
Rudrick did not raise his head. But the answer came right away.
“No.”
“Huh?”
“I… I was also…”
Rudrick’s hand, clenched into a fist and was trembling a little.
I was worried that he might be crying without saying a word again, but fortunately, Rudrick looked better than before, just biting his lips.
Still, I stretched out my hand, thinking,’If you bite your lips so hard, it would hurt.’ Then I grabbed Ruddrick’s white hand.
“I know, that’s why I said it.”
“What do you say? Aren’t we pretty similar?”
“…”
Rudrick looked at me.
“We’ve been frightened and we’ve been struggling.”
“…”
“We could solve it if we talk it out. I regret that it went too far for a little misunderstanding.”
“… Yes.”
I faced Rudrick, who quietly nodded his head. Suddenly, the trembling of his little hand had stopped.
I continued with a smile.
“So let’s get to know each other
‘together
.”
“…”
“You’re lacking, and I’m also lacking in many things.”
“…”
“Let’s fill it up together. Whenever there’s a misunderstanding between us, we’re going to talk about it, and we would be better than before.”
After I finished talking like that, I scratched my cheek.
I wondered if I had spoken a word that was too cheesy, the way I was teaching him I wondered, whether Rudrick would have understood it well, so I kept glancing at him.
But Rudrick was strangely quiet. Somehow, like a person whose mind was sold elsewhere.
Rudrick, who was still thinking about something, soon muttered to himself.
“It’s like a puzzle.”
I opened my mouth blankly.
“What?”
“Huh, what? Ah…! It’s, it’s…”
Rudrick, who was visibly embarrassed that he didn’t even know he was talking to himself, hurriedly avoided my gaze pretending that he didn’t say anything.
But when I looked through his face, he finally cried and confessed.
“Every puzzle piece has a different shape.”
“…”
“But if you put them together one by one, they all fit wonderfully. So I’m asking you to put it together… I suddenly thought of a puzzle…”
“…”
Rudrick, who was explaining slowly, grew increasingly tearful, as the silence lengthened.
I stared at Rudrick who was making a serious expression, closing his eyes with a face like, ‘I shouldn’t have said it.’
“You, you…!”
I couldn’t stand it and burst into laughter.
“Hahaha! What? I didn’t know you could say those kinds of words?”
“Huh, what?”
“You know how to say such romantic words. You’re quite a player, aren’t you, Duke Bouser? Huh?”
“Da-, Dahlia!”
In an instant, Rudrick’s face turned red.
As I watched it burn red to the tip of his ears, I teased him, saying, “If I poke your cheeks, it might explode,” and Rudrick hurriedly turned away, covering his face with both hands.
After laughing for a long time, I approached Rudrick with a smile on my face. Rudrick’s body flinched. When he looked at me, carefully lowering his hands.
“All right.”
I asked with a smile.
“Would you please let me be your puzzle piece?”
I wouldn’t have to say that Rudrick collapsed from embarrassment.
* * *
We laughed and talked all night long, and eventually ended up sleeping in one bed.
At first, he was supposed to go back before it was too late, but Rudrick and I suddenly felt relaxed, so sitting in bed for a while and having a conversation we just fell asleep like that.
‘Oh, look at the kids.’
And it was my mother who first found us.
Still, my mother’s worries were at the peak because of the sudden business trip of my father, who returned home in a hurry.
A husband who suddenly left and a daughter who was struggling sick. My mother, who couldn’t bring herself to sleep, ended up running to my room as soon as it dawned.
When Dahlia’s mother opened the door, she saw her daughter who fell asleep while holding the hand of her friend’s son with a peaceful face.
My mother’s face, which was full of worries when she entered my room, became vague. And I just woke up and we made eye contact for a moment. I thought to myself.
‘I’m screwed…!’