Chapter 412: Pure Structure
<Author's Notes>
(A quick announcement)
The latest Volume 13 is scheduled for release on April 25th, and a special edition with a tapestry———– [Exclusive, Newly Illustrated] I Became the Strongest With The Failure Frame【Abnormal State Skill】As I Devastated Everything Volume 13 A3 Tapestry Set (STORE Exclusive)—is currently available for pre-order at OVERLAP STORE.
I realized a bit late that I hadn't made an announcement, so the pre-order deadline is quite short, until March 25th(Tuesday) at 23:59. However, since "Failure Frame" doesn't have much in the way of merchandise, this could be a great item for those who want goods related to the series. (Though, since it includes a tapestry, the price is a bit higher.)
The tapestry features a newly illustrated and captivating image of Seras. (I'm not sure if I can post a direct link due to regulations, so I apologize for the extra step, but if you're interested, please search for " ハズレ枠", "13巻", and "タペストリー", it should appear at the top of the search results.)
T/N:
Here's the image.
Here's the link.
<OVERLAP STORE LINK HERE>
Costs ¥5,562 or around 37 usd.□
[In this world, there exists evils that are beyond help.]
One day.
My grandmother had told me that at our usual dojo.
[I've lived in a world that was utterly rotten. When I first came to this household, I even felt a certain kind of hatred knowing that such an idyllic world could exist in the same country. To be completely honest, at first, I thought "What the hell is wrong with these people?".]
My grandmother sat cross-legged, tucking her right hand into the sleeve of her training uniform as she continued.
[That being said, after spending a decent amount of time on this side of the world, I realized that your side of the world has its own kind of evil. Your world's evil is…… hmm, if I had to put it into words, it's like an even more rotten version of the "phony" that Holden boy talks about——— Well, compared to the evil in the world I came from, I guess it’s still somewhat better.]
[Errr…… I haven't read it myself, but Holden-san is the protagonist of "The Catcher in the Rye", right?]
"Hmph", my grandmother snorted.
[Surprised that I read novels?]
[Ah, no, that's not what I meant……]
She smirked.
[You're right though. The only novels I've read in my life are maybe those written by Salinger, Hemingway, Fitzgerald, and Shoji Kaoru. Unlike you and your grandfather, I'm not good with printed words. I can still handle manga better. Samurai stories, yakuza stories, grappler stories, that kind of thing. Ah, but I got sidetracked. We were talking about evil.]
Yes.
At that moment, my grandmother was speaking about evil.
———— ………..What was it that she said back then?
That memory replays in my mind, fresh, almost as if I’m reliving it.
[The real problem, you see———– of course, the existence of that kind of evil itself is an issue———— but the real problem is people like you, Ayaka.]
I…… think she looked a little worried when she said that.
[Eh? Me? You mean, I’m also———-]
[It’s not that you’re evil.]
My grandmother pulled out a cigarette pack from her pocket.
But after a moment of thought, she put it back and continued.
[There are "good people" in this world. But these so-called "good people" can be a real pain. I understand that they have noble ideals and lofty intentions….. but for some reason, it’s always these "righteous" types who know nothing about the kind of world I came from———-or rather…… they refuse to see it.]
[……………………]
[They act as if that side of the world doesn’t even exist. Either they hate hearing about it, or it’s simply inconvenient for them. Perhaps it hits too close to home. To them, those inconvenient truths are like a mortal enemy———— something that directly contradicts their grand ideals and noble aspirations.]
[……………………]
[And when these people, who usually pretend "such things don't exist", suddenly and unluckily come face-to-face with them…… the first thing they do is shut their eyes and cover their ears. Then they start spewing nonsense. At that point, there’s no such thing as a "conversation" anymore.]
At that time———-
I don’t think I even understood half of what my grandmother was saying.
[Well, I suppose you can’t really blame them for it. People like that tend to be mentally rigid…… almost like they have a kind of psychological OCD. When they’re confronted with a contradiction too big to ignore, they panic———– sometimes even to an abnormal degree. Their instinct for self-preservation kicks in, and they try to erase the inconvenient truth from their world. They refuse to acknowledge its existence so they don’t have to face it. If something doesn’t fit their worldview, then as far as they’re concerned, it simply "doesn’t exist"…… But, Ayaka.]
She lowered her gaze to the floor.
[Even so, I’ve come to think that those "grand ideals" and "noble intentions" aren’t necessarily bad. No…… I’ve learned to think that way. Ever since I met your grandfather…… I guess I started to believe that maybe, just maybe, such things aren’t so bad after all. Hah…… Imagine it, a man from such a prestigious family choosing a delinquent like me as his wife. The Sogou family was in an uproar back then.]
My grandmother spoke, as if reminiscing fondly.
[……You really do take after him. And that’s why———- it’s a little concerning. But at the same time, I feel like I might be worrying too much. As long as you live as the young lady of this household, under its protection, I think you’ll be just fine as you are. You’re straightforward, good-natured. Smart, kind, a good girl…… and, well, just like I was in my youth, you’re beautiful too. But you also have the tendencies I mentioned earlier. That’s a fact.]
[…………………….]
[If, by some chance, a contradiction like that arises within you…… and when you can no longer escape from it———– I worry that you might break.]
"That person also had the same tendency, you know." My grandmother added.
[Maybe that’s exactly why he needed someone like me, a delinquent girl. My mind is rotten, and as you know, I’m a carefree, reckless old hag. But because of that, I’m also flexible, I don’t let trivial things bother me. If anything, I rebel against people who nag at me. Well…… there are people out there who find salvation in having someone like me by their side.]
[……………………]
[Even if they're not a delinquent, I hope you find someone like that too, Ayaka. Someone who’ll stand by you———— before you ever have to face something as dull and loathsome as true evil.]
[……………………]
My grandmother let out a self-deprecating laugh.
[Well…… maybe I am evil myself. A person who used to smoke in front of her own granddaughter……]
[I love you.]
[……………………]
[I love Grandma the way you are now.]
She closed her eyes and let out a quiet smile.
[Thank you.]
Then, she turned her gaze toward the small window that let in light into the dojo.
[……I don’t really want to be too strict with you, child.]
Her voice carried a complexity of emotions.
[The things I said about evil just now…… you might end up making them "things that don't exist" in your mind someday…… Or maybe you’ll forget all about today entirely. But…… that’s fine too. It’s better if you never have to encounter such things at all. True evil…… that filth of the world. It’s better if you remain untouched by it…… if you never know of it. I just want you to live straight and true…… to always stay the way you are. So…… to be honest, I feel complicated.]
The sunlight of spring poured into the dojo through the window.
The wooden floor was bathed in light.
A soft spring breeze drifted inside, carrying a faint scent.
I wonder…… what was my grandmother thinking at that moment?
She squinted slightly at the sunlit dojo and then spoke.
[Ayaka…… sometime soon, why don’t the two of us go see the cherry blossoms together?]
▽
[……………………..]
I had…… forgotten……
Such a precious memory.
And all this time……
I had been living while denying so many things———- anything that was inconvenient to my world.
I had kept pretending "they didn’t exist".
I had lived that way.
And in the end, I carried a contradiction too vast to bear———- until I broke.
Even though……
Even though Grandmother had been so worried about me……
When I return to our world……
I will tell her, properly this time.
To my beloved grandmother, my gratitude———
[—————-]
At that moment, I became aware of it.
I……
(I had———-)
I had attended Grandmother’s funeral.
My own foolishness……
Tears well up in my eyes again.
————- …………Ahh, I see.
That’s right.
The death of my beloved Grandmother……
I had been unable to accept it.
And so……
Such an important thing in my life———-
I had made it "not exist."
I had turned my eyes away, blocked my ears.
I had done the same in this world too.
To avoid being crushed by contradictions, I had made things "not exist" in my mind.
I had chosen not to see them.
And in the end, I broke.
I caused so many people trouble.
[……………………]
Agito-san.
How could someone do such a thing to such a good person?
How could they———- commit such cruelty?
……What had Grandmother said?
Yes…… about evil.
Back then, when I was covering my ears in my heart————
What had I heard from Grandmother again?
Remember.
I have to face it now.
This…… This is just evil.
This isn't one that could be flipped over.
Never.
True evil will never become good.
Grandmother……
What did she say?
"You seem to believe in the redemption of villains…… but there are evils in this world that cannot be saved. Atrocities committed by such evil have happened throughout history———- and they still happen now. Even in this country. Showa, Heisei…… even under the current era, they continue. There are countless terrible stories. You’d wonder if human beings could truly be capable of such things…… if humans could really become so cruel…… Even if the thought crossed your mind, if you had even a shred of humanity left, you wouldn’t be able to go through with it, would you? But there are those who do———– People who commit "crimes" so vile you want to turn away…… Those who have no room for redemption, who can only be dealt with by being eliminated…… That kind of evil——— does exist in this world."
What did she say?
……Ah, that’s right.
That’s what she said.
"As for me…… I do not consider such irredeemable evil to be human. They are not human. They're just, nothing more than———-"
Grandmother’s voice in my memory overlapped with my own.
[————–"Beasts in human form".————–]
She had said this as well.
"It may not suit you, and you might see it as something bad…… But sometimes, Ayaka, negative emotions like rage and hatred can become weapons———–powerful weapons."
With my unique skill deactivated, I stood there, frozen in place.
———–So much.
Never before have I hated someone this much.
Never before have I thought someone as unforgivable.
Never before have I felt such hatred.
This might be the first time in my life.
That such a deep, black emotion could well up inside me.
[…………………..]
Agito had already dissolved completely, no longer existing.
I was the only one left.
Standing in that room.
I clenched my hands into fists.
As tightly as possible……
My nails dug deep into my flesh, drawing blood, but I paid it no mind.
Then———– I started running.
Hearing a voice I felt was terrifying……
Hearing a voice I couldn't believe existing……
Only after her name left my mouth————
[ V y s i s . . . ]
……did I realize———– it was my own voice.