LIGHTNOVELSTORY Chapter 37 - Gwen. (1)
Gwen’s POV
Aaron carefully shook me.
“Lady Gwen. Are you a bit calmer now?”
“……”
Embarrassed, I burrowed my face into Aaron’s chest.
“Um… Lady Gwen?”
The more Aaron called me, the deeper I burrowed into his chest.
At Aaron’s continued calling, I finally lowered my head and answered with a sniffling voice.
“What.”
“Are you feeling better now?”
As I carefully raised my head, I saw Aaron’s face with a small smile.
It wasn’t a particularly joyful or happy smile.
Nor was it a forced smile.
Just.
Just Aaron’s small smile.
‘Why is someone who claims to have no memories exactly the same with these things…’
A small monologue in my heart.
Saying he had no memories, yet seeing Aaron showing this crude way of comforting me and that lonely-seeming, gently embracing smile that used to resolve all my unresolved emotions, I still couldn’t completely abandon her doubts.
After blankly watching Aaron’s increasingly dazed expression, I raised my body, leaning on his chest, and answered with the same smile.
“I’m not calm, damn slave.”
—–
Aaron’s POV
Gwen and I walked through the forest.
“Kieeee!”
A monster appeared behind them, attempting a surprise attack using invisibility.
However, I didn’t move despite sensing the beast’s cry and presence.
-Slice
The lizard-like beast, whose mouth corners had turned up as if thinking it was a perfect hunt, was split in half by a blue aura sword strike.
-Thud
Two frozen chunks of meat fall helplessly behind us.
Our footsteps stopped briefly at the sudden appearance of the monster.
“”……””
Silence.
We continued walking again with stiff steps without turning our heads as if detached from our surroundings.
We walked as if not even paying attention to the monster, not even looking at it.
Because…
‘Did I do something wrong?’
I felt wronged.
Though it was true my mistake had caused her misunderstanding, wasn’t the one who misunderstood also at fault?
Though I certainly hadn’t lied, the thought of deceiving her kept ringing in my head until I finally spoke first.
It was good that the misunderstanding was cleared up, but… perhaps as an aftermath, Gwen trembled as if about to collapse with rapid breathing.
Therefore, I had only provided a place to lean temporarily, but…
‘Even so, isn’t treating me like a slave too much?’
After helping, I was called a slave by someone from a Duke’s family.
Thinking of how slaves were treated in this hierarchical society, it was clearly an insult no matter how you looked at it.
They were treated worse than commoners, with forced obedience through magical seals rather than just collars – that was what other world slaves were.
Even high nobles would ask about them but never use the word slave, as comparing someone to a slave was recognized as slander that lowered one’s own status.
If I still had my Viscount title maybe, but with my current fallen noble status, I could be captured and made a slave just walking down the street.
‘I really can’t smile…’
Though walking with a blank expression, I was trembling quite a bit.
—–
Gwen’s POV
Meanwhile…
‘Why did I do that!’
The actions I had taken toward Aaron, who had no memories, and my crying behavior until just now were very clearly appearing in my mind.
A woman crying and clinging on the street.
I couldn’t raise her head from shame.
‘Did I look like a creep…?’
Gwen had lived ignoring human relationships from the start.
No noble would approach Gwen with her notorious reputation without fear.
Her only regular conversational partner was within her family, and extending beyond that, only Aslan, with whom she discussed swordsmanship.
‘Since my first meeting with Aaron was him being forcibly appointed as my butler, I could get closer by just giving orders, but…’
My head spun from the burden and shame of not knowing how to start a conversation.
“”……””
Continuing awkward footsteps and silence between the off-beat footstep sounds.
“Lady Gwen. How long are we going to be like this?”
I was the first to speak.
His low-toned voice.
“Ah… um, sorry…”
I answered hurriedly, wondering if he was angry.
‘He said it’s better to just bow your head and ask for understanding…’
When I had to attend a ball as the Duke’s daughter in the past, Aaron had made a joking comment to me when I was nervous, telling me to relax my shoulders.
Something about how when dealing with those old lumps of pride, if you bow from the start, they’ll interpret it well since you’re from a Duke’s family and bow their heads in return.
How would that apology be conveyed to Aaron?
Though the situation was somewhat different, my apology was ultimately a good action.
“Thank you for apologizing at least.”
Aaron bowed his head in thanks.
“Yeah…”
Gwen answered awkwardly as if unfamiliar.
“”……””
The silence continues again.
“Ah geez, Lady Gwen.”
He called to me with force in his voice while strongly shaking his head as if having a headache.
“Wh-what?”
I answered awkwardly at Aaron’s sudden call.
“Lady Gwen, since you’ve regressed, you must have things you want to do?”
“…Yes.”
Aaron nodded with my small affirmation.
“Though I don’t know what it is, I’ll help.”
“Huh?”
I was startled by the suggestion.
“In exchange, could you help me too?”
Aaron extended his hand with a confident voice.
I slowly looked up to his face.
His pupils were trembling.
His lips were parted as if continuously taking rough breaths.
Seeing this, I finally understood.
‘I wasn’t the only one feeling awkward.’
He, too, like me, had been awkward and anxious.
Realizing this, I took Aaron’s extended hand.
“Alright. I’ll help you with what you want to do.”
Aaron let out a big breath as if relieved.
“But.”
I decided to be greedy.
“You absolutely have to help with what I want to do?”
It wasn’t a condition but a request to believe in their still uncertain relationship.
“Of course.”
Aaron, who had carefully swallowed dry saliva, nodded while slowly shaking my hand.
“Aaron, can I ask anything?”
I couldn’t look into his eyes.
“If it’s something I can do.”
After hearing what seemed like Aaron’s permission, I hesitated briefly before stating my main point.
“Um, could I act like I used to with you before?”
***
Aaron’s POV
It seems I will always be compared to the me in her memories.
Yet, this timid request seemed like she was trying to reduce that comparison herself.
From my position, it was a request I had wanted to make.
“Yes. I don’t mind.”
Therefore, I lightly nodded.
Requests to become distant were problematic, but requests to become closer weren’t an issue.
As soon as I gave my permission, Gwen approached bit by bit.
I could feel her footsteps gradually quickening.
‘What is she trying to do…’
Just as I wondered what she was trying to do, hoping it wasn’t strange, Gwen’s action followed.
-Thump
She softly collapsed against my chest.
“… I’ll just lean here for a bit because I’m tired.”
-Stare
Feeling my gaze, Gwen carefully made an excuse.
“Really, it’s something you used to do for me often before.”
Knowing it was forced even as she said it, Gwen lowered her head to hide her reddened face.
“Yes.”
Seeing this, I just quietly nodded.
—–
Under a tree where we stopped to rest briefly,
Gwen was leaning on my shoulder.
“Lady Gwen.”
“…What.”
Perhaps still embarrassed, Gwen hesitated briefly before turning her head to answer.
“Lady Gwen.”
As I called her with a trembling voice while grabbing her arm, Gwen turned her head again-
“Your hand, hand, please…”
“Ah.”
Gwen had been unconsciously holding my waist tightly with aura like in the old days.
Seeing my arm gradually reddening, Gwen quickly released her hands.
I breathed in roughly while catching my breath.
“Why do both Sephir and Lady Gwen hold me tight enough to suffoca-”
As I beat my chest while catching my breath, I suddenly felt a strange sensation.
‘What was that?’
The chill he felt for a moment must have been his imagina…
At that moment, Gwen’s voice came from in front.
“Sephir?”
She looked at me with what seemed like killing intent in her gaze.
“Uh…”
At that moment, a hand landed on my shoulder.
“You don’t mean Sephir Livris, do you?”
“Um…”
“You mean that woman who was so obsessed with money she’d even sell corpses?”
‘That’s how bad… it was. Right, Sephir’s first appearance was getting caught trading slaves.’
The words I was about to say it wasn’t that bad went back in, as the original Sephir from back then rather than now was a woman who would do that and more if money was involved.
‘But surely the current Sephir isn’t that…’
Though I didn’t know what crazy things Sephir had done in Gwen’s future, wouldn’t the current Sephir with memories of the future not be that bad?
I wasn’t sure.
Though he could tell Sephir’s behavior and personality had changed, I wasn’t sure if that personality would hold up when faced with money.
“Aaron, let me tell you, don’t get close to her in any relationship. She’s a woman who would even sell her fiancé in a trade.”
“Uh…”
‘But she’s on our side right now…’
Wondering how to explain this, I briefly pondered before deciding to just tell it like it was.
“Lady Gwem, you don’t need to worry so much.”
My simple explanation continued.
“Sephir has memories of the future like you.”
“That makes it even more problematic.”
“……”
That’s true.
“No, she was my partner-”
Gwen cut off Aaron’s explanatory excuse immediately.
“I thought you had no memories.”
Hmm.
She didn’t know that I had already gone through multiple loops.
Though I couldn’t remember them.
I tried to reveal that there had been multiple regressions to prevent the same thing from happening as before.
Stupidly.
“I-”
As my mouth opened, a black window appeared in his view.
[Basic: Activating [You cannot convey information about regression/reincarnation.]]
-Clamp
My mouth closed so hard I worried my teeth might break.
“……”
Ah.
“Aaron?”
Right, I couldn’t say this.
“Why did you stop mid-sentence?”
“……”
A situation where he couldn’t explain about the current Sephir.
‘What should I do?’
This seems completely messed up.