I Pretended To Have Amnesia and the Hero’s Party Becomes Obsessed

12 – 2. Cowards (2)

It’s a blatant lie.

Whether in my past life or in my current one, there was a vast distance between my life and nobility.

But to say that I am the fallen son of a noble family!

I was not only incredulous but also felt anger.

However, I couldn’t open my mouth to refute him.

My other lie was that ‘I’ve lost all memories of my childhood.’ Lies are cunning creditors that, at first, ask nothing, then suddenly grab our feet.

I could only silently watch her. Upon realizing this, Clara laughed.

“It seems you don’t believe me.”

Naturally.

I never lost my memories, and in my recollections, I was always a person busy with half-truths.

“But it’s okay. That’s not what’s important.”

What?

Clara smiled slyly.

“What’s important is that I belong to you.”

It was a very perplexing confession.

The palpitations in my chest reached my head, shaking my thoughts.

Clara continued, looking down.

“I know the current situation is confusing for Rem. Every action, every word I say might seem random and out of context for you. Because you have no memories with me.”

No, even though I had memories, I couldn’t understand her behavior. Beyond being incomprehensible, she began to feel unfamiliar to me.

When I thought about why, the answer came quickly.

“But, I hope you know this, Rem.”

Clara looked into my eyes again. In her red eyes, there was a familiar heat simmering.

“I exist for you.”

She looked like a religious person.

“If you want money from me, I will gladly give you riches. And if you want honor from me, I will gladly bestow upon you all the honor that I can. If you want me to die, I will gladly plunge a dagger into my heart with the utmost joy.”

Clara, as my memories told me, was an impious girl.

To her, God was an unpaid servant who sometimes disregarded orders, and mass and rituals were useless formalities.

Truly, in her world, she was both the sun and the sky.

But then, who was this devout woman in front of me?

“Everything I have exists and will be used for you.”

My turbulent heart had suddenly calmed down.

It was a confession, but it wasn’t something one person says to another. It was what a human says to God.

Clara leaned her head towards me and spoke.

“In that sense, I have one request for Rem.”

Request. That word made me realize that the woman in front of me was someone I didn’t know.

Ladies do not make requests.

They simply give orders.

Clara, the unknown woman to me, spoke in an unfamiliar tone.

“When this is over, will you come to my cathedral?”

***

“Good night, Rem.”

I didn’t respond to Clara’s farewell and walked out of the tent. Stumbling, I walked under the moonlight.

In my confused mind, Clara’s voice echoed like a recording device.

“If you come to the cathedral, I can fulfill everything you desire. Wealth, honor, women… anything.”

“If you want, I can give you the title of a knight from the Rose Rem Mercenary Corps. Of course, without all the rules that the knights are supposed to follow.”

“So, come to the cathedral, Rem. So I can give you everything.”

Profound thoughts throbbed inside my skull. I grabbed my head and stood still.

“Why on earth are you doing this? Just tell me, damn it…”

“Rem?”

I jerked my head up. After walking aimlessly for who knows how long, I could see the distant glow of the campfire.

And there, Parsley, with the glow at her back, was looking at me with concern.

“What’s wrong? Is there something bothering you?”

In that moment, I found myself wanting to escape, without even realizing it.

Parsley, like Clara, was someone who seemed to be hiding something from me.

“…Do you want to come into my tent and talk?”

But when Parsley hesitated and spoke those words, the impulse shifted in a different direction.

Still, would Parsley tell me the truth?

Originally, after Clara, I had intended to seek out Parsley.

I hesitated, but in the end, I nodded.

“…If it’s not too much trouble, I’d appreciate it.”

At my words, Parsley hesitated and adjusted her hat.

“Follow me. I’ll at least treat you to some tea first.”

The moment I entered Parsley’s tent, I felt a sense of relief.

It was like the old times.

Of course, being a camping tent, it lacked many things compared to her room that I remembered.

But in the overall atmosphere of the tent, I could feel the ‘Parsley-ness’ that I knew.

Stacks of books as tall as me, tools now difficult to guess their purpose. Unseen corners filled with various potions, and piles of identical wide-brimmed blue hats.

“Go on, drink it all. It’ll clear your head.”

My sense of relief reached its peak when Parsley mentioned it was tea, although, in reality, it was a concoction closer to a potion.

It still tasted like a mixture of saliva from a rat that had eaten vomit, as Parsley always insisted. I twisted my face in disgust and set the teacup down. Parsley’s lips, which had been smiling at me, drooped again.

“…So, can you tell me what’s going on?”

At her words, my sense of relief vanished as if it had never been there. In its place were hesitation and tension.

But I made an effort to gather myself.

If you don’t push, the door won’t open.

People are the same way.

If you don’t speak, you’ll never know.

I opened my mouth.

“I asked Clara what had happened between her and me in the past.”

“…!”

Parsley’s expression twitched subtly, as if it was difficult to hide. After a moment of silence, she spoke in a soft voice.

“What… did she say?”

“…She said I was the fallen eldest son of a noble family.”

My bewildered eyes focused on Parsley, who suddenly stood up. With a sharp look in her eyes, she muttered while chewing on her words, as if staring towards the tent where Clara was.

“That crazy woman…!!”

“P-Parsley?”

Her anger diminished upon hearing my perplexed voice. She sat back down and apologized.

“S-Sorry… something happened…”

Something happened? It was a word that sparked curiosity, but I decided to put aside that question for now. There was something I had to ask first.

“…From Parsley’s reaction, it seems like Clara was lying.”

“Yeah, a blatant lie…”

“Then, can you answer instead, Parsley?”

Parsley’s face turned pale.

I gathered my courage and stared directly at Parsley.

“If you’re not a noble’s sibling, then who were you?”

“… “

Parsley remained silent for a while.

I wasn’t disappointed as I had anticipated this.

I simply waited for Parsley to speak without saying a word.

The silence continued, as if waiting for the arrival of a sound that tangled the moonlight.

But the end of the silence would surely come.

“…I don’t know the details myself.”

Parsley deeply pressed her hat.

“At least I can tell you for sure that you weren’t someone with blue blood flowing through your veins.”

I almost cheered in that moment.

There was a magic called bloodline identification magic in Matop, a magic that was not funny at all. In the time when Parsley and I were studying together, there was an instance where this magic was given as an assignment.

And at that time, we both clearly proved that we were commoners.

In other words, it was finally an honest answer.

I suppressed my excitement and asked the question.

“And then?”

“…And what?”

“What happened between you and Parsley?”

Parsley’s shoulders trembled faintly again.

But I pressed on her.

“You said that Parsley and I were friends. Can’t you tell me about it? It might help me find my memory.”

I now looked straight at Parsley, who was hiding her whole head with a hat.

“I’m requesting. What was I like back then? And what happened that made me become a mercenary?”

“…”

…This silence was longer and heavier than the previous one.

But this time, I could wait expectantly.

There was already one honest answer.

Plus, Parsley was originally a girl who was a little too honest.

I watched Parsley with hopeful eyes.

“…I told you last time too, if you want to recover your memory, I can help. I know a magician among the people I know who specializes in memory. Once this is over, I can send a letter to that person and get tools and data.”

However, what Parsley mentioned was a somewhat irrelevant remark.

I wondered if I had misspoken, so I asked again.

“No, you don’t have to go that far. I just want to hear about what happened between Parsley and me.”

“Well, thinking about it, it’s better to send a letter as soon as we arrive in Aholt. Then we can start the procedure as soon as the job is done.”

“…That’s good news, but I want to recover my memory before that.”

“…If there’s equipment, even if it takes a long time, it can fully recover your memory in a week. If everything goes well, it can be done in two days.”

It felt like having a complicated conversation with a foreigner through a translator. The context just kept going, and the conversation kept going off track.

I had no choice but to ask more directly.

“Parsley, what I want now is to recover my memory. If you were to tell me about the past…”

“I said if there’s equipment, I can help you recover your memory!!”

That was truly the first time I heard Parsley raise her voice in a long time.

I looked at Parsley, my mouth open in shock. Parsley seemed as surprised as I was by her own outburst.

—

Suddenly, she pressed her hat down deeply and spoke.

“I’m, I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to raise my voice like that…”

“Oh, no. It’s okay.”

I nodded in surprise, trying to recover from the confusion.

“…I think I was too hasty, as Parsley said. Parsley?”

I realized Parsley’s demeanor was odd and stopped speaking.

“I’m sorry… I-I’m really sorry…!”

At some point, Parsley had started trembling as if abandoned in a snowy wilderness. Despite that, her hat, pushed down deeply, seemed as though it sought refuge from the cold.

“I-I don’t deserve this…! I-I was trying to…! I-I was just doing what Mom asked…!”

“Parsley…?”

“____!!”

As I approached, Parsley screamed like a wild animal and fell off her chair. Bewildered, I tried to reach out to her.

“Don’t come near me!!”

However, a desperate cry blocked my path.

Parsley now seemed to be trying to fold herself into the hat. Her quivering body hunched over.

“I-I’m sorry… P-please, just leave today…”

I sensed desperation in her trembling voice. It was a desperation akin to a massive curtain.

Reluctantly, I turned away and took my leave.

“…I’m sorry for the intrusion.”

And that was the moment I stepped out of the tent.

“I-I’ve done terrible things to you…”

I turned back. Parsley, covered by the hat, was pitifully shaking her back. Droplets fell beneath the hat, tapping softly.

“I-I’m sorry, I can only say this much for now…!”

Then, Parsley buried her face in her knees and began crying in earnest.

I felt many words at the tip of my tongue, but ultimately, I suppressed them. Whatever I said wouldn’t reach her in this moment.

All I could do was repeat the same words.

“…I apologize for the intrusion.”

And then, I left the tent once again.

***

As I exited Parsley’s tent, an overwhelming fatigue washed over me. It was to be expected.

One of my long-time friends, who always casually told lies, suddenly said to me that they would dedicate their life to me with a heavy tone.

The other one, who had a seizure in the middle of a conversation, talked about the mistake that the actual victim couldn’t remember.

However, I still had one more person to find.

Amy, my childhood friend.

There was no special reason for her to become the last in line.

She just seemed to be in the worst condition recently among the three of us.

On the night when the command sorcerers’ hideout was attacked,

Since the moment she tried to say something to me and failed, Amy seemed unable to set foot in reality.

Leaving suddenly during the operation meeting,

Even on the way here, she was just looking at the cloudy sky with vacant eyes.

Even in the food persuasion fight that happened this afternoon, she seemed more tired than cold like the other two.

She even went so far as to set up a tent quite far away from where we were gathered, in front of the lake.

As if she had left a part of herself somewhere.

So, in fact, I thought it would be better to just overlook Amy.

Considering how Parsley, who seemed fine, turned out, I didn’t think Amy would show any less of a reaction after hearing my question.

But in the end, I chose to head towards Amy’s tent.

It was because I was a little anxious myself.

Even though I asked the two of them directly, the questions didn’t get answered, they only grew bigger.

I needed answers in some way or another.

Or at least a tiny clue to untangle this tangled thread.

Suppressing my fatigue, I forced myself towards Amy’s tent.

“…”

And there, in front of the tent, by the lakeside, I found Amy slashing at my own wrist.

…

In that moment, even though I saw it with my own eyes, I couldn’t understand the sight.

But when I barely understood, I was already grabbing Amy’s wrist and getting angry.

“What on earth are you doing right now!”

“Rem…?”

Amy’s vacant eyes turned towards me. But whether or not she said anything, I inspected her wounds first. And immediately, my face contorted.

A wound so deep that I could see the bones.

I quickly poured a potion onto it.

After confirming the emergence of new flesh, I wrapped it with bandages.

Only after completing the emergency treatment could I finally look at Amy’s face and express my anger.

“Are you insane? Why on earth would you do such a thing…!”

“You were threatening me.”

It was a dreamy, dazed voice. Amy looked down at my wrist.

“If you don’t come to me right now, I threatened to cut my wrist with a knife.”

“What kind of crazy talk is that…!”

“But, despite the threat, my feet didn’t move.”

Amy’s eyes finally turned towards me.

Though I thought they were murky at first, in reality, her eyes were swirling.

The names of things being swept away by the whirlpool were familiar to me.

Guilt, anger, hatred, and confusion.

Emotions I never thought would arise in the eyes of the confident girl I knew.

“I don’t know anymore, Rem.”

Amy’s bloodied hand grasped my sleeve.

With eyes that seemed to be pulled somewhere, she looked up at me.

“What should I do?”

I read the desperation embedded in her.

It was the desperation of someone desperately seeking an answer.

However, I didn’t know what answer she was looking for,

and I didn’t know the reason for her desperation.

In the end, there was only one thing I could say.

“…I will call the Holy Lady.”