I want to become a killer

The weeks bled into one another, a blur of meetings, protests, and unrest. The city felt like it was holding its breath, teetering on the edge of something that could either be a new dawn or the final, irrevocable collapse of everything we had fought for. No matter how many times I walked through the streets, shaking hands, listening to the people, the unease I felt never seemed to dissipate. It was as if the city itself could sense the tension in the air—the fear that something was on the verge of snapping.

It was late one night when I received the call. The kind of call you dread.

"They're gathering," Mara's voice crackled through the speaker, cold and urgent. "They're organizing in the southern districts. Large numbers. They're planning something—something big."

My heart pounded in my chest. The underground movements had been growing more brazen, and this... this was different. This wasn't just a protest. This was something planned, something coordinated. The calm I had been trying to maintain in the face of so many uncertainties was beginning to crack.

"What are we dealing with?" I asked, trying to steady my voice, but even I could hear the tension in it.

"They've been spreading rumors, Psycho. They're saying we've failed them. That we've betrayed the revolution. They've started calling you a tyrant—just like the old leaders. That you've sold out."

A bitter laugh escaped me, though it wasn't a laugh at all. "Of course they have. It's always the same, isn't it? When things aren't perfect, they turn on the people who gave them hope."

Mara didn't reply at first, but I could hear her moving in the background, the rustle of papers, the low hum of a machine. She was trying to hold it together. We both were. But there was only so much you could do when the weight of a nation pressed down on your shoulders.

"I don't think it's just about you anymore," Mara continued, her voice a little quieter. "There's more to it. They're calling for an end to the system, the government as a whole. They want to burn it down and start over."

The words struck like a punch to the gut. I had known the discontent was there, lurking in the shadows, but I hadn't realized how deep it ran. To the people I had hoped to serve, I was just another part of the machine they were trying to destroy.

"How bad is it?" I asked, my fingers gripping the edge of the table as if it could anchor me in place.

"I don't know yet," Mara said, her voice grave. "But it's big. They've been getting support from former military factions, disgruntled workers, even some of the old political figures. They're promising change—real change. And they're not asking for a peaceful protest anymore."

My blood ran cold. This wasn't just a rebellion—it was a revolution within a revolution. And this time, the forces against us weren't disorganized or weak. They were formidable, strategic. They had the potential to tear everything apart.

"I'm coming over," I said, already moving toward the door, the weight of the decision pressing on my chest.

"We need a plan," Mara said. "We need to contain this before it spirals out of control. But we need to be smart about it, Psycho. We can't afford another bloodbath."

I nodded, though she couldn't see me. "I know. Let's meet at the headquarters. We'll figure this out."

I hung up, the phone dropping from my hand as I stood there in the dark, my thoughts racing. I had spent so long pretending I could control this. That I could be the one to create something new, something that would last. But what if I was wrong? What if the very thing I had built was just a reflection of the same flawed systems I had fought against?

Was I truly any different from the old regime? Was I just another leader, another man who craved power, who didn't know how to let go?

I forced myself to shake those thoughts out of my mind. This wasn't the time for doubt. This was the time for action. The time to stop this from becoming the collapse I feared.

When I arrived at the headquarters, Mara was already there, her face drawn with exhaustion, but her eyes sharp as ever.

"We need to make a decision," she said, handing me a series of reports. "We have to act fast. If they hit the southern districts first, they'll have the city in their grasp before we even know it. We can't let that happen."

I scanned the reports quickly, my mind whirling. The movements were larger than we had thought, and the factions involved were diverse, but well-organized. There were even rumors of alliances with external forces, groups who had been watching the revolution from the shadows, waiting for a chance to capitalize on our weakness.

"They're going to use the chaos against us," I muttered. "They're not just protesting—they're planning to destroy everything we've built."

Mara nodded. "Exactly. We need to take control of the narrative. We need to show the people that we're still their leaders, still the ones who fought for their freedom."

I stood up abruptly, pacing the room. "And how do we do that? How do we prove we're different from them—from me—when they're already calling us the enemy?"

"We fight it with transparency," she said, her voice calm but resolute. "We show the people the truth. We put the situation out in the open, let them see what's really happening. We don't hide it. We don't lie to them."

"But what if they don't care about the truth? What if they just want a scapegoat?" I asked, the words coming faster now, my frustration mounting.

"They'll care," she said. "Not everyone, maybe. But enough of them will. And that's all we need."

I looked at her, the weight of her conviction settling over me like a blanket. She was right, of course. The people weren't all the same. There would always be those who wanted the chaos to end, who just wanted stability. If we could show them that we were still committed to change, to making the system better, maybe we could salvage this.

But deep down, I knew it wouldn't be that simple. The system had always been flawed. It had always been built on a foundation of power and control, and no matter how hard we tried to change that, the remnants of the old world would always be there, festering in the shadows.

And I wasn't sure anymore whether the people were looking for a new system—or if they were just looking for someone to lead them through the wreckage.

"We have one shot," I said, more to myself than anyone else. "One shot to stop this before it destroys us. And we can't afford to make mistakes."

"We won't," Mara said, her voice firm. "We'll get through this. Together."

I nodded, but doubt still gnawed at the edges of my mind. What if we weren't enough? What if we couldn't fix it? What if I wasn't the leader they thought I was?

The city outside seemed darker now, the shadows stretching longer, the streets emptier. I could feel it—the weight of the moment, the tension in the air. And for the first time in a long time, I wasn't sure where this revolution was going.

But I wasn't going to stop fighting. Not yet.