Marvel: I Have A Super USB Drive

"Mmm!" Joe moaned with extreme delight as he took the first bite of the shrimp lo mein. If food was heaven, he could be considered to hold its key already. The takeout didn't disappoint him. 

He ordered the meal from a reputable Chinese restaurant and paid everything upfront instead of 'on delivery.' The lack of a phone could sometimes be convenient. At least, it wasn't a necessity. 

'Now this is a sweet side effect of hunger...' Joe skilfully used the chopsticks to pick up the noodles before guiding them to his mouth. The noodles were soft but chewy, and with each bite, he felt their savory taste melt and meld with his palate at an incredible rate. The tantalizing aroma from the container only fueled his appetite and voracity as he wolfed down a good-looking shrimp coated in soy sauce. The flavors, fundamentally different yet harmonious, exploded like a symphony, filling him with contentment. 

It didn't take more than ten minutes for everything inside the container to be relocated into Joe's tummy, where it would soon undergo a digestive journey. 

"Now I can watch some late-night news for a minute before sleeping." He sighed in satisfaction while using his free hand to flick on the screen with the remote. The world might end while he was still obliviously sequestered in his room. Joe didn't know what type of universe he was in, so he was just being cautious, as Marvel wouldn't easily lack crazy stuff happening every day. 

"Hello, New Yorkers; I am Timothy Dickson, your fellow neighborhood news anchor," a middle-aged man announced with faux enthusiasm. 

"On tonight's top story, our friendly neighborhood masked vigilante, Spider-Man, has once again foiled a robbery attempt by four ex-convicts on NYPD's list of notoriety for quite some time." The news anchor's voice boomed, his face showing a neutral expression. The channel then split into two screens. On the left screen, the news anchor showed a tight-lipped smile, while on the right, there was footage of a man in a blue and red spandex suit swinging from building to building. 

'That's pretty scary. Even while on NZT, I don't think it would be a good idea to try web-slinging my way across skyscrapers, moving vehicles and people. I guess it isn't Peter's first rodeo then.' Joe cocked his brow as he thought. 

"But what if my earlier conjectures about Spider-Man being Peter are wrong? Even the mere thought of it sounds abnormally wrong," He murmured before chuckling. 

"I could always hack him...just to make sure. Jeez, I sound like Elliot." 

Joe watched as the footage changed to show Spider-Man's fight against the armed robbers. Of course, the confrontation didn't even deserve to be called a battle. Spidey wrapped them up good, nice, and easy before leaving them as a present for the NYPD. 

"These bastards are going to touch soap for a while unless they have connections to the upper caste of the society. Do correctional facilities really help these types of scum?" Joe clicked his tongue in disapproval. 

"Spider-Man, sometimes I admire you for sabotaging your own personal relationships for the sake of pursuing heroism," he muttered, the words hanging heavy in the dimly lit room. 

Turning off the TV, Joe rose from the couch and headed to the kitchen. He placed the empty container in the sink and fumbled for a nearby glass, filling it with water. 

Gently placing the glass on the counter after quenching his thirst, Joe began to reiterate his plans while formulating new ones adapted to his current situation.

"Tomorrow, I should buy a phone. If possible, I should also create my own Operating System. Even though I am confident enough to shield my activities from Microsoft, I feel shitty using their OS. Linux is open-source, but it won't bar me from creating a custom OS, tailor-made for my future operations." With his back leaning on the counter's edge, he thoughtfully tapped his index against the rough texture. 

"SHIELD runs the world's greatest covert security network, and I would be lying if I said I don't have the jitters. I will eventually fall on their radar if I continue growing in power." Joe smirked as he envisioned the advanced exosuits, weapons, and inventions the world would witness from him.

Hacking SHIELD was both a test, a necessity, and something to stroke his ego. Joe didn't want to breed blind arrogance inside of himself. He didn't need that shit. What he needed was the drive, the gut, and unwavering self-awareness. 

"Each of us is so small, it's only our egos that grow in size. And those with a lot of power in life will often delude themselves into thinking they are special." Joe pursed his lips as he self-reflected. 

[Who am I, where am I, what will I do?] 

Plato's three philosophical questions suited his new existence. Joe had just begun a tumultuous journey of self-discovery and evolution; it was a journey of multiversal perils. He was currently in a fucked-up universe that made survival both a priority and a miracle for mortal beings. And what was Joe going to do? 

"I am going to be omnipotent if omnipotence isn't a paradox." Joe slightly smiled when he recalled a particular Marvel self-insert fanfic with a protagonist determined to carve out his own steps to omnipotence. 

"At the end of it all... I WILL SURVIVE!" Clenching his fists to affirm his ambitions, he then retreated to his room. He needed to sleep early since the following day would be extremely important. 

As he lay sandwiched between his comfy mattress and duvet, his consciousness finally entered Morpheus's realm of dreams and absurdities. 

...

The next day, 10 minutes before the bedside alarm went off, Joe woke up with a jolt. His body, covered in sweat, had his clothes sticking to him like glue while his face resembled a sheet of paper in its pale whiteness. Joe's breathing was irregular as he took a strenuous air intake before exhaling with difficulty. His beating heart wasn't in the green either, as it sought the outside world by rampaging against his chest. 

All these negative signs could be attributed to one thing: a bad dream. 

Placing a hand over his chest, he felt the erratic thump of his frantic heart reverberate through his body.

"Damn. That was a hell of a dream." He furrowed his brow, running a hand through his damp hair in agitation.

The nightmare wasn't horrifying because of its content; it was terrifying because of its connection to his own mortality. 

Joe had dreamt of his own demise! 

Thanos's snap fragmented him, just like the rest of the unlucky half of all living beings in the universe. The dream had felt so real that it had instilled a profound sense of fear within him. How could he even stay calm when his body began being atomized, he remained aware of every single grain of his existence fading into Oblivion. 

And that was not all. Before the snap, he had experienced another death by Snu Snu. Joe had been targeted by Whoremammu—Dormammu's sister—after a failed super-soldier experiment turned him into a monstrous ogre-hulk variant. The part of the dream was simply illogical and bullshit! However, it still served its purpose as a warning. Joe had to tread very carefully. His safety was a temporary respite unless he became, at least, a star-destroyer. 

Climbing out of bed, Joe glanced at the alarm. 

"10 minutes to 5. Is the dream telling me to always wake before my alarm?" he nervously asked himself with a chuckle.

Turning off the annoying little gadget, Joe dragged his body to the bathroom to shit his nightmare away. 

...

Rummaging through his closet, Joe's eyes lit up upon spotting some trendy clothes and shoes.

"What a hype boy," he quipped. 

Soon, Joe dressed up while humming "Hype Boy" from the girl group NewJeans. 

"♪Cause I know what you like, boy; you're my chemical hype boy♪." 

... 

A young man with a lean yet toned physique emerged onto the street, his tailored jeans hugging his form perfectly. A crisp white button-down shirt peeked out from under a sleek black leather jacket that shielded him from the morning chill. He walked with unwavering confidence, his steps deliberate and purposeful. He was a man with a vision, and his undeniable charisma attracted numerous glances from passersby, even the homeless man huddled in a nearby alley.

Guess what? Joe was in Bully Maguire mode, cough, NZT-48. 

Joe arrived at an ATM near Stop & Shop. The money he had stolen from his targets amounted to $200,000, around 3.53 BTC. From the $200000, he had singled out $10000 for his personal use (the rest remained in his Bitcoin account), and currently, he was about to withdraw the amount he needed for the day. 

'Those guys from Chase Technical Support won't ever see the abnormalities of my account. It's a pity that I don't want to hack a damn bank, including this ATM beckoning me to do a petty crime.' 

'Is this what the little robbers of Spider-Man's turf have to deal with normally?' 

After withdrawing his money, Joe hailed a cab to give him a ride to New York City. While Apple stores were there in Queens, Joe didn't shy away from a morning adventure to Fifth Avenue. But he soon came to regret it. 

There was a long traffic jam due to the rush hour and the slightly lousy weather. 

Anyway, wasting an hour in traffic wasn't that bad when you are phoneless and high on NZT. The cherry on top? The taxi driver happened to be French. Driven by his insatiable curiosity, Joe initiated a simple "bonjour," which earned him a scrutinizing look from the driver. He was lucky the Taxi driver—Henri—was a good man. So, just like that, Joe initially struggled to hold a basic conversation in French, but in just an hour, he became a decent French speaker. To make himself more proficient, he had to learn from a French teacher and master phonetics, intonation, sentence structure, and more. A user of NZT-48 would only need a day to learn a foreign language. 

While exiting the taxi, Joe retrieved two hundred-dollar bills from his pocket and gave them to Henri, much to his surprise. 

"You serious, gamin?" Henri inquired, a toothy grin spreading across his rugged face as he swiftly snatched the bills.

"How could I not be after you practically taught me some French?" Joe replied in his newly acquired tongue. 

Henri released a burst of throaty laughter. 

"You're a wonder, mon ami. No one learns a foreign language that quickly, not even in an hour." 

"Well, it's not that surprising. Freaks like you are popping up everywhere these days," Henri remarked with a heavy sigh before expressing his gratitude for the generous tip and driving away.

'I hope that little angel in the picture he kept looking at during the ride will smile when her father buys her something good today.' Joe smiled to himself. 

That was the problem with NZT. The user would always remain aware of the little details of anyone or anything they consciously or subconsciously observe. With a casual glance and a bit of study of the body language, Joe had easily identified Henri's status as a single father. 

Joe briefly gazed at the colossal, half-eaten Apple logo adorning the top of the store's building. 'Maybe I'll dismantle your monopoly someday,' he mused, with a hint of a smirk lingering on his handsome face.

Stepping inside the store, he noticed a sizable crowd browsing through the latest offerings. The iPhone X series was the highlight of the show. 

'So the phone industry is at this point, huh? Then I'll snag the iPhone Xs Max, 256 GB variant.'

"Hey there, you look amazing," Joe greeted a cute Asian sales associate with warm brown eyes.

"Thanks." The pretty sales associate blushed heavily as she subconsciously fiddled around with the engagement ring on her finger. 

'Flirting with her will be fun, but I am pressed for time. I have a scythe on my neck all the time. The last thing I want is a Netori tag,' Joe thought as a mirthful glint shone off his mesmerizing blue eyes. 

"How much is the Xs Max?" He inquired politely. 

"We have the 64 GB variant retailing at $999, 128 GB at $1149, 256 GB at $1499, and the 512 GB at $1649. I'd recommend the 256 GB version—it hits the sweet spot and can handle anything you throw at it," the pretty sales associate, who Joe learned was named Jenni, explained with a professional yet endearing smile. 

"Hmm. Could you give me that one, then? The black color." 

Jenni's smile widened as she began working on the phone boxes. In a matter of seconds, she placed a white box on the glass counter with the iPhone image printed on the front. 

"Will you pay by card?" Jennie asked with a hopeful glint in her eyes, her inner thoughts unknown. Joe swore he heard the slight, needy edge in her voice. The woman wanted more information about him. 

"Wait a minute, isn't she engaged? Maybe she's the thrill-seeking type, and 'engagement' doesn't equate to 'marriage.' That could be her train of thought,' he pondered.

"Cash," Joe declared, placing the exact amount on the counter without hesitation.

Jennie took the money, counted it carefully, and after making sure everything was fine, she issued Joe a receipt. 

"Thanks for your purchase, Joe," Jenni said, leaning forward coquettishly, her cleavage subtly exposed.

"Can I have your number?" She whispered while her eyes carefully darted around the store to ensure their little conversation wasn't being monitored. 

"I am sorry, honey. I happen to be a team rainbow rider," Joe smoothly lied. 

That stopper immediately left the tiny woman confused, speechless, and slightly angry that such a fine specimen had fallen from grace. 

Just as Joe was about to leave the counter, he felt something furry graze between his legs. 

'A cat?' Joe immediately looked downwards. 

And true to his thoughts, he found a cute tabby cat purring at his feet while sniffing him with curiosity. 

'Whose pet is this? The owner should be careful and mindful of other people. But why is the little furry so adorable?' Against all rationality, while falling to the power of 'kawaii' and 'neko,' Joe gently picked the cute little furball. 

"Meow, meow." The cute thing purred in satisfaction when Joe playfully rubbed her slightly plump underside. 

"Now, where's your owner, Garfield?" Joe continued to play with his new friend. However, as if on cue, he heard a worried feminine voice calling from behind. 

"Goose! Goose! Goose!" 

And when Joe turned his head to inspect the voice's owner, shock hit his mind like a 10,000-foot-tall tsunami. 

Despite his desire to admire the woman's beautiful features, something else wholly occupied Joe's thoughts. He lowered his gaze to the cat that he found looking at him in curiosity, mischief, and... like food. 

'The Flerken—Cthulhu 2.0, hentai tentacles monster!' 

Because of NZT, Joe remained calm as he controlled his breathing rate, heart rate, and outer body expression. Off NZT, like any average person with knowledge of the alien cat named GOOSE, he would have thrown the thing miles away from him before scampering out of the store. How can you treat a mini-Cthulhu like a pet? 

"Goose, it seems your partner has come to pick you up," Joe coolly spoke as he stroked the Flerken's head with ultimate love and care. 'I better pretend not to know what I am holding.'

The Flerken opened its tiny mouth to yawn, and that's when Joe swore the NZT left his system as if he were on detox! 

NZT or without NZT, the Flerken opening its mouth was... spine-chilling! 

***

Enjoy 20 chapters ahead if you like the cook: Patreon.com/OneArmedImmortal

[Words 2649]