Chapter 13 - Sulking Over Unjust Criticism
“…….Uh….”
While I was sleeping soundly, I squinted my eyes open at the sudden sound of music and fumbled around for my phone.
“…Ah…the hospital..”
Even though I was quite an unusual patient, I couldn’t cancel all the appointments of a busy doctor just because I could go at any time. I had to be at the hospital by 11 o’clock.
“Ugh…..so cold….”
It was freezing in the morning, so maybe I could just snuggle under the blanket a little longer…
“No way!”
Expressing my strong resolve not to be late, I kicked off the warm blanket and threw it far away, then washed my face to wake up.
It didn’t take me more than an hour to get ready. I’d finally gotten used to the point where I could wash without closing my eyes. Well, I still only stared at the ceiling, but someday I’ll be able to see… everything…
“……”
Feeling my face grow warm, I shook my head firmly and dried my still slightly damp long hair with a hairdryer.
Honestly, because of this, it felt like my preparation time doubled. I really should cut it when I go downtown today.
“…..Should I just leave it like this….”
As I ran a comb through my fully dried hair, it felt so incredibly soft that I momentarily fell into a dilemma.
I did like it long, but…
“I’ll just cut it moderately.”
I brushed aside the headache-inducing thoughts and called my younger sister.
Ring ring-
-Hello?
She picked up immediately, which gave me the strange feeling she’d been waiting for me, but knowing her, she’d probably just been watching something on YouTube.
“Minyoung, I have to be out by 11, so get ready to leave soon.”
-I’m ready. Should I come out now?
“Oh…? Uh…let’s meet halfway…”
-Okay.
Click-
What the…
Since I had to leave anyway, I turned off all the lights in the house, checked to make sure the gas was securely turned off and glanced at the clean house before heading out.
Because forgetting to check the gas would be really sad.
“It’s been a while, unnie.”
From afar, my sister, dressed all in black, waved at me, and I quickened my pace to meet her.
“Sorry, I’m late.”
“It’s okay. If we leave now, we should be on time, right?”
“Ah…yeah…we can make it. It’ll take about 40 minutes if we walk.”
When we used to hike, I’d get exhausted after walking for just 40 minutes.
“Haa…..haa……”
I sat down roughly on a nearby bench to catch my breath.
After walking for about 30 minutes, my body started to warm up and I was sweating a little.
I took off my rather thick coat, rolled it up, and hugged it. The cool, soft outside of the coat helped me recover a bit from my fatigue.
“…….Unnie… Unnie, their gaze…”
“Haa…. Huh…?”
Once I’d caught my breath, my sister mentioned something about people staring at me.
With a sinking feeling, I looked around and sure enough, lots of eyes were on me. Curiosity, admiration, lust. A wide variety of gazes reflected in my red eyes.
“…….Let’s go.”
“Are you uncomfortable? Want me to give you a hat?”
My sister offered me the black hat she was wearing, and without a word, I pressed it down onto my head.
We were getting closer to the hospital.
“Hey…. Minyoung…”
“What?”
“Should I just dye it black instead…”
“No.”
“……….It’s too long though….”
“It’d be better if it was about the same length as mine.”
“O…okay…”
Shoulder length, maybe…?
That doesn’t sound bad.
“Lee Su-yeon, you may come in!”
I went into a normal consultation room, not the single room I had last time.
“…..It’s been a while.”
The doctor, with deep dark circles under his eyes, greeted me.
“Yes… How have you been…?”
“….Sigh… Honestly, not well……”
“……I’m sorry…”
“No, I should be the one apologizing.”
The atmosphere grew a little heavy.
“……..I have something to tell you.”
“Uh…should I wait outside…?”
My sister began to sense the mood.
“No, that’s not necessary.”
“Okay…”
“………There’s no way to go back. I’m sorry.”
“…….I figured…”
“Is there really no way…”
“I’m sorry… As I said, you’ve truly become a woman, and neither surgery nor modern medicine can change that….”
“……..”
Su-yeon’s eyes darkened slightly, turning a bit crimson.
“For now, it’s best if you avoid stress and try to stay calm.”
“Yes……”
“Has your health been okay recently?”
“Um…..nothing serious.”
“Then you can go now….. Have you seen a psychiatrist?”
“No… I was just about to.”
“If there’s an issue with your identity, you can talk to that person. They work for the government and were the ones who arranged your ID.”
Following the doctor’s directions, I went to the psychological counseling office. The fact that I was even coming to a place like this felt a bit odd.
“At least it’s in the city, so we can walk around after it’s over.”
“Yeah… Unnie, are you okay…?”
“…..Well, what can I do… I can’t go back….”
“…..”
I entered the counseling office with my sister after taking the elevator.
“Welcome…..hold on a moment…”
The person who seemed to be a staff member went into a room.
“……”
The counseling office had a comfortable atmosphere that seemed like it could make you feel at ease. I debated whether or not I should sit on the sofa when the staff came out and called us in.
“Hello, it’s nice to meet you.”
The counseling room was filled with books, and there was a pleasant scent in the air.
“Ah…hello…”
“Why don’t you both take a seat?”
“Yes…”
“First, let me introduce myself. My name is Kim Joo-won. I’m the director of this counseling center and a psychiatrist. Feel free to call me Joo-won.”
“Oh…okay…Joo-won…?”
“Haha… I’d heard a description, but I didn’t expect someone like you.”
“Hahaha……I didn’t expect this either….”
“Why am I here though?”
Come to think of it, I didn’t really need to have the counseling session with my sister.
“It’s just to help you relax. It can be comforting to have someone you know with you, right? But if you’d prefer, we can arrange for you to talk separately.”
“Ah….. No, that’s not necessary.”
“Hmm…… Have you been feeling down lately?”
“………Yes.”
“Why don’t you start by telling me whatever comes to mind?”
“Um……”
When I think about it, I’ve lived quite a tough life. It hurt when I changed, and after I changed, the people dear to me cried.
I spent a long time pouring out my story to Joo-won.
“…..You’ve been through a lot….. Is that everything?”
“……Yes.”
“Are you sure?”
“Y…yes, really.”
“Hmm~”
“Th…there’s just one more thing… Yesterday, I dropped my phone while using it…and…uh…”
“Pfft.”
My sister, who had been quietly listening, couldn’t hold back her laughter.
“Hahaha…. That’s what bothered you? Unnie?”
“N-no…!”
“Pffft….. Haha…!”
The more I reacted, the more my sister found it amusing and kept laughing.
“…..Pfft.”
“………”
“Ah…sorry. Anyway, that’s the end of today’s session, so you can wait outside now.”
“Yes…..”
“Sigh….. I’ll head out too…”
Minyoung wiped the tears from laughing and followed me outside.
“Just a moment.”
“Yes…?”
“Can we talk for a second?”
“……If it’s quick.”
At Minyoung’s words, Joo-won shrugged.
“What should I talk about?”
“Your sister… I mean, your brother, could you tell me a bit about what she was like before?”
“…..She was kind… Really, really kind….. Even now, she’s working hard to pay for my tuition and living expenses….”
“It must feel quite different now… Has her personality changed a lot?”
“Well…..she’s become more honest…and more…human.”
“Whether that’s a good or bad thing, no one can say for sure. For now, it’s probably best to keep an eye on her from up close.”
“Yes….”
“You’re free to go now. Please remind her to come back next week~”
“Hmm…..”
When I went back to the lobby, I saw my sister sitting in a chair. Her eyes were a bit more red than before, and her cheeks were puffed out.
“…..Are you sulking?”
“…….No, let’s go.”
“Are you sulking?”
“No.”
I wasn’t really sulking. Just a little bit annoyed. My sister’s constant teasing and her amused laughter were a bit irritating, but I didn’t hate it.
“Sigh….. So, what are we going to do now?”
“Hmm? Now we need to buy clothes and things. Or do you want to eat first?”
It had taken longer than I expected. The time was already past 2 p.m.
“Maybe that’s a good idea. Is there anything you want to eat?”
“I don’t really care. What about you?”
“Hmm…….potatoes?”
“Uh….how about here?”
My sister pointed to a hamburger joint we were passing.
“….Looks good…”
“Let’s walk around to digest after we eat!”
We wandered all around the city, buying various things. Comfortable women’s clothes, underwear—I only had one pair, after all. For the record, I got a sports bra. I’m not compromising on that.
“Oh…..”
I also bought a few hair ties to use when working in the city, and I tied my hair up on the spot.
Ponytails are the best.
“I think we’ve bought everything we needed?”
“I want to cut my hair.”his
At my words, my sister’s expression darkened.
“Ah…no… just a little…”
“That’s fine.”
“Okay, I think there’s a really famous place nearby?”
“Do we really need to go somewhere like that…?”
“Do you know how amazing your hair is? If it gets messed up, I’ll be more upset.”
“……..Fine… Let’s go.”
The salon my sister had mentioned wasn’t just famous for no reason—it was huge. It was clean, had plenty of staff, and there were lots of people flaunting their fancy styles.
“Whoa….”
“Oh… Welcome! Are both of you getting a cut?”
“No, just my sister.”
“Please have a seat here and wait.”
“Okay.”
“But what’s ‘a little’ exactly?”
“Hmm…. I’m not sure either? Maybe cut it to about your length?”
“……..”
While my sister and I were discussing hair, the stylist arrived.
“Oh my~ How is your hair this amazing? It’s incredible!”
“Uh….thanks?”
“So, how would you like it cut?”
“Um….. Just trim it to about my sister’s length, please?”
“Sure~”
At the salon, I nearly fell asleep while getting my hair washed, but nothing else happened.
I packed up a few simple ingredients from home for my sister, and together, we headed to her place.