No, How Can an Atheist Become a Saintess!?

No, How Can an Atheist Become a Saintess!? – 27

EP.27

Chapter 3

Faith and Status (1)

Thankfully, the Cardinal didn’t respond immediately.

It seemed that the Saintess Candidates who witnessed the situation had indeed gone to see the cardinal, but they hadn’t come to take me to Myeongdong right away.

I wasn’t sure why. Perhaps it was due to bureaucratic processes, or maybe the cardinal didn’t fully believe the candidates’ words. It could also be that the letter I sent earlier was still causing issues.

Could be any of those reasons—or even all of them.

But that didn’t make me feel relieved.

“I feel like a criminal who just got caught red-handed.”

I muttered, slumped face-down on my bed.

From her bed across the room, where she’d been reading, Ria gave a baffled reaction. She seemed ready to ignore my random outburst, as she often did with my thoughtless comments, but eventually she couldn’t resist. She closed her eyes, wrinkled her brow, and finally shut her book with a resolute snap.

Then, settling herself cross-legged on her bed, she clasped her hands and—

Inhale.

Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath in,

Exhale.

And then let it out in a long sigh.

“What… what kind of reaction is that?”

I asked, turning my head toward her.

Ria opened her eyes and looked at me blankly.

“I don’t even know where to start, so I figured I’d clear my mind first.”

“…”

“What kind of thought process leads you to compare yourself to a reported criminal?”

“I’m just saying… I’m in a position where I’m waiting for a decision to be made about me.”

“A decision…”

She was back to wearing that “I don’t even know where to start” expression.

“All right, let’s just get this out in the open. Do you hate the idea of becoming a Saintess that much?”

“Well, yeah.”

“Why?”

“Why, you ask…”

Hmmm. Because I’m an atheist? Well, maybe that’s part of it, but if I’m being honest, there are plenty of personal reasons why the role of a Saintess just doesn’t appeal to me.

I may not look it, but I’m someone with a lot of things I want to do. Now that I’ve been reborn with such beauty, I’d love to have a girlfriend, maybe even get married someday… not that I’m sure it’d ever happen, but anyway, I’d like to try for something like that.

Naturally, I’d want to enjoy all the, well, experiences that come along with that.

But a Saintess doesn’t get to do any of that. In fact, this was one of the central issues raised in the original story. The Saintess, who frequently crossed paths with the protagonist, had one huge limitation: as a clergy member, she was expected to remain celibate and pure.

Wait, hold on a second.

“Honestly, even though you say you don’t believe in God, don’t you think there’s something up there? Isn’t that why you can use such power, because your faith is greater than others’?”

Feeling a strange discomfort, I sat up as Ria questioned me.

“That’s not faith.”

“Huh?”

“Believing there’s someone up there is just a fact. It’s like knowing the Earth is round. Didn’t we talk about this before? I just don’t think that entity is a God.”

“So… let me get this straight: you believe there’s some all-knowing, all-powerful being who occasionally gives you direct power, enabling you to do things others can’t, and yet you don’t think it’s a God?”

“I don’t know about all-knowing or all-powerful. I haven’t seen what it looks like, and we haven’t had a chat, so I can’t believe in it. I just know it exists.”

I clarified, shaking my head at her phrasing.

“Has anyone ever had a proper conversation with that entity? Has it ever said, ‘I am God, and you must believe in me’? As far as I know, most people are just guessing.”

That’s why I quickly lost interest in the scriptures of this world. It’s just records written by people who didn’t understand the entity’s intentions, speculating on what might happen if they did certain things.

At least science books come with established formulas; these scriptures didn’t even have that much, which is probably why they were constantly revising them. To give them credit, it’s admirable how flexible they are in revising their content, despite being a religion. Yet, I couldn’t fully trust a system that mostly recycled old doctrines from previous religions.

“What I know is that this entity gives me more strength whenever I’m helping someone—ah, geez!”

As if my words had triggered it, a light began to shine down over my head, and I hurriedly waved my hand to scatter it away.

I couldn’t tell if this entity was omniscient or omnipotent, but one thing was clear: it definitely liked attention.

“…”

Ria, who’d been objecting to every word I said, just stared at me with a peculiar expression.

“What?”

“Uh, no, it’s nothing.”

Ria scratched her head and lay back down on her bed.

Well, if she understood, then that was enough. It’s not like she actually believed everything I’d just said.

No matter how seriously people in the church might discuss the existence of a God, or even if they’ve built a comprehensive doctrine around it, everyone has their own image of what a God should be.

This is why religions inevitably splinter into countless sects. Even if a virtuous person had originally founded the faith, it wouldn’t take long before someone came along to twist those teachings however they pleased.

If the entity up there didn’t exist, or at least declared it wasn’t a God, I would have respected its power more. I wouldn’t have tried to exploit it as I do now.

It’s the mystery surrounding it that makes it dangerous.

The last thing I needed was to become an idolized figure simply because I carried this intense power within me.

Idols become sanctified, and sanctity turns into mystery.

Someday, far from my sight, unspeakable acts could be carried out in my name, and I’d be powerless to stop it. All it would take is a handful of the church’s higher-ups who wanted to exploit my reputation, and I’d be imprisoned immediately.

An untouchable, mystical being. An immaculate figure everyone is expected to follow. A sanctity that becomes the justification for everything.

That’s all this power I hold would amount to. If dozens of people came together to bind me, I wouldn’t be able to resist. Locked away in a tower, I’d just become a legendary figure, existing only in tales, both alive and in death.

While I might be able to resist while I’m alive… what about after I’m gone?

It would be better for me to be treated as a lone heretic. I could follow my own beliefs, doing good as I saw fit, while others could simply make use of the holiness scattered through me.

“……”

No, wait, this isn’t the time to be worrying about things like that. The whole “Saintess” situation is already way out of control, far beyond my ability to stop it.

What really matters is the part of the original story I’ve been forgetting.

In the original, the event where the Saintess and the protagonist met was described very simply.

“The Saintess saved the protagonist when he was on the brink of death.”

That event could either be when I first met Lee Si-yoon or the monster incident after I told the 7th-grade hunter to retreat.

It was said that Lee Si-yoon made his first significant contribution there.

Of course, given the title “Weakest Hunter,” he wasn’t some overpowered figure right from the start of the story. But that “chance” encounter had indeed led to some significant figures in the Association taking an interest in him.

…

But this time, nothing like that happened. The only story that emerged was about me and my knight protector, Ria.

I glanced over at Ria.

“What?”

She responded immediately, her eyes still fixed on her book. She was clearly aware of me sitting beside her, despite her attempts to seem absorbed in her reading.

“…It’s nothing.”

But what if… just hypothetically.

What if Lee Si-yoon’s contribution back then was actually due to the Saintess?

What if the Saintess had transferred the power she created to Lee Si-yoon, just like how I shared the divine power with Ria?

So, if Lee Si-yoon’s contribution was actually thanks to the Saintess—

“……”

No, that can’t be.

I quickly dismissed the thought and lay back on the bed.

Right. There’s no way such a major plot point would go unmentioned in the main story. Sure, maybe the part I read only went up to the story’s mid-point, and yes, the Saintess’ arc was just starting to develop in the heroine’s storyline…

…

That’s why I exploded and sent a support message, but anyway.

No way, right?

Surely, there wasn’t some twist where the power I’d wielded actually sparked some hidden talent lying dormant inside Si-yoon.

And following that classic trope, the Saintess intentionally granted him that power, knowing what it would do for him.

Maybe Lee Si-yoon would go on, believing his strength was his own talent, only to later face another crisis that forced him to question the true nature of his power—

“…Yeah, right.”

I waved my hand vaguely at the air, letting myself fall heavily back onto the bed.

As if something like that could actually happen.

While divine power is said to be the power of a God, it’s mostly meant to heal people. Even if it renders someone nearly invincible when it enters their body, that’s a far cry from “unlocking hidden talents.”

As I mulled over these thoughts, yet another glow descended toward my face, which I hastily brushed away.

What, is it going to start showing up whenever I think about divine power now?

“…”

Ria was watching me from beside her, a mix of concern and exasperation on her face, but I did my best to ignore her.