No, How Can an Atheist Become a Saintess!?

No, How Can an Atheist Become a Saintess!? – 32

EP.32

Chapter 3

Faith and Status (6)

The conversation continued for another 10 minutes.

After that brief exchange, I realized something was off and quickly grabbed Maria to seek out the Cardinal.

Well, I am still someone influenced by Confucian ideals. While I don’t believe in ancestral spirits, I do understand how useful politeness and etiquette can be when the situation calls for it.

The Cardinal, as expected, was a busy person, with meetings and tasks to attend to.

So, we had to wait outside for about 30 minutes. Of course, this waiting time was a result of my position as a Saintess candidate, even one who might soon become a Saintess. They likely made some accommodations because of that.

“Why? Isn’t this exactly what you wanted? Someone on your side. Why didn’t you chat with her longer?”

“That’s not the issue…”

“What’s the problem? Even atheists have boundaries now?”

“Ugh…”

Ria sat next to me during those thirty minutes, poking at me with sly remarks. I could only grit my teeth in frustration, unable to come up with a decent response.

After those 30 minutes, people started coming out of the room. Some were in formal suits, while others were clergy—older nuns and priests.

They all acknowledged me and greeted me politely.

To my surprise, even Lee Si-yoon, who had been so vocal earlier, was among them. He was the one I treated when he was near death. But really, did he have to be so enthusiastic about it? He could’ve just said, “I got healed and my HP is full.”

After catching my resentful gaze, Lee Si-yoon hurriedly moved his feet.

Maria, standing next to me, seemed oddly satisfied, letting out a little laugh. I nudged her side with my elbow, but she didn’t make a sound, which only made me angrier.

We waited for everyone to pass before entering. The Cardinal’s office wasn’t as grand as I had expected.

Sure, the ceiling was a bit high, but that was about it. It looked more like a regular office within the church, without any extravagant decoration.

“I heard you requested a meeting.”

The Cardinal gestured toward a guest table. As we sat and waited, he personally served us tea and snacks.

I was momentarily taken aback by how down-to-earth he seemed.

With a soft clink, he placed the tea cups in front of us and sat down across from Maria and me.

Noticing something in my expression, his slightly squinted eyes seemed to gleam with amusement.

“Is there something you’d like to discuss?”

His polite voice made me hesitate, and I murmured,

“U-um… Did the church arrange for the advocate?”

I had wanted to ask this as soon as I entered the room, but the Cardinal’s overly polite demeanor made it awkward for me to be impolite right away.

“Of course. Is there a problem with that?”

A few thoughts ran through my mind: Why was that person chosen without consulting me? Wasn’t there someone more suited to the task, someone with a proper scientific background? Why wasn’t someone more skeptical and capable of critically examining things from a distance chosen?

But I couldn’t bring myself to ask all that, so I carefully phrased my question.

“May I ask why that person was chosen?”

Seeing me ask with such rare politeness, Maria stifled a laugh, shaking her shoulders. I wanted to elbow her, but since this was a very important conversation, I held myself back.

“There are several reasons…”

The Cardinal began, his voice calm and composed.

“First, she is one of the most well-known atheists in this country.”

“……”

I could understand that. After all, she appeared on TV frequently and was the head of a research institute.

Then again, most of the so-called “TV personalities” in this world ran their own research institutes. These institutes were often nothing more than renovated houses, hardly the grand buildings one might imagine.

The size of a building doesn’t symbolize authority or trustworthiness. On the contrary, it means anyone can set up a research institute and claim to be the head of it.

“And it’s not just about being famous—her group is one of the most respectable ones. Most importantly, among those who advocate atheism, they don’t bring up other conspiracy theories.”

“…Other conspiracy theories?”

“Like the Earth being flat, or the Apollo missions being a hoax created by the US, or that we are actually reptilian humanoids disguised as humans.”

“……”

Oh, that’s right—atheism in this world was considered a type of conspiracy theory.

It made sense, in a way. There were likely many connections between atheism and other conspiratorial ideas.

“At least, they only advocate for scientific evidence. While their arguments about the ‘divine energy’ and the connection between divine power, magic, and physics being based on the same theories are somewhat less convincing, at least they’re not people who would use Sister Anna for profit.”

“…I see.”

Of course, that’s make sense.

Even though I try to think as an adult, with the memories of my past life, I’m still regarded as a newly-turned adult here.

And a newly-turned adult doesn’t differ much from a teenager. The only real difference is the right to participate in society, but they are still considered a protected position in society. Considering that I was raised within the church, people likely saw me as even more vulnerable.

Come to think of it, even in my previous world, atheists often argued along similar lines:

“If there are miracles and a god, why can’t they provide scientific reasoning and evidence for it?”

Of course, what religious people can do is present the “undocumented” parts as evidence, making god seem to exist within the shrinking gaps of science, or simply accept scientific facts and say, “It must be God’s will.”

The problem here is that it’s the opposite direction.

While the principles might not be fully understood, the phenomena are undeniably real, and the more one follows God, the more they solidify. Honestly, it’s probably because I can firmly believe in the source of my power that I can wield such immense strength.

“So, what exactly was the conversation about earlier that made you come straight to me and bring it up? Did you not like what was discussed?”

“Well…”

I glanced around, feeling a bit uncertain.

The Cardinal quietly waited for me to speak.

Despite my less-than-ideal first impression and the fact that my outfit was far from appropriate for a nun, he didn’t seem to judge me harshly.

At least, he didn’t seem to think my power was fake.

…Could it be that he took my rights away but kept my position intact, much like cutting the allowance of a rebellious granddaughter? Even though he couldn’t just remove my candidacy at will, he accepted the priests and nuns’ words that I wasn’t a heretic.

I got lost in my thoughts for a moment but noticed the Cardinal was still staring at me, waiting for me to speak. So, I hesitated for a moment before slowly opening my mouth.

“Well, the power I used… it might just have been a coincidence.”

“Hmm.”

The Cardinal took a sip of tea, waiting for me to elaborate.

“Do you have any evidence to support that?”

“Since we’re near the Gate, I thought it could be because of the influence from beyond the Gate…”

“Then what about the power you’ve shown us before?”

“I didn’t really mention that part.”

I glanced at him cautiously and continued slowly,

“That’s because I’ve denied everything about the existence up there…”

“You mean God.”

The Cardinal concluded with a calm nod.

“I don’t think of it as God, but yes, denying that existence itself is a bit…”

“So, you mean you don’t deny ‘that entity’ even though you don’t believe it is God?”

“Every time I use divine power, I can sense that existence. How could I deny it?”

“I see. Then why do you use that power? If you don’t believe in God and haven’t studied the scriptures, isn’t that power dangerous or perhaps even corrupt?”

“That’s…”

I paused for a moment, unsure how to explain.

I’ve never had a direct conversation with the entity above. I had never prayed sincerely or asked it any questions. But there was one thing I could say with certainty every time I felt myself draw closer to that power. That entity doesn’t like seeing people get hurt.

It’s not omniscient or omnipotent, but it genuinely rejoices in saving people through me. So, I use that power without hesitation. And besides, I’ve read enough stories to understand how these things work.

If it’s all just a deception, well, there’s nothing I can do about it. It’s just my nature to not ignore a life in front of me, especially when I have the power to save it. I’m the type to meddle in things, and honestly, I sometimes find my own behavior a little annoying.

“Then, may I ask one more thing?”

As I was fumbling for words, the Cardinal calmly inquired.

“The position of Saintess is a very high one, even higher than my own position. Why would you refuse to ascend to that power when you have the ability to do so? There’s so much you could do from that position.”

I can’t have sex.

No, wait—no, no, not that.

Well, yes, that too, but I can’t say that in front of this old man.

And with Ria sitting right here.

So, I went with one of the reasons I always tell myself.

“If I had reached that position through my own efforts, I would’ve gladly accepted it. But that’s not the case. If it’s not my own strength, but rather the power of an entity I don’t fully trust, how could I take on such a responsibility?”

Well, the biggest reason was probably that I simply didn’t want to.

Could someone who doesn’t even want that position do a proper job in such a high position?

If it were for survival, I could understand pushing through. But even then, a lower position would be more manageable—less responsibility and fewer decisions to make.

But representing humanity as God’s agent?

With my personality, who knows what I might do if I had so much power. It’s better not to go up there at all.

I don’t want to go down in history as the worst Saintess.

“I see.”

The Cardinal responded with just that, taking another sip of his tea.

“However, the verification process cannot stop.”

“Wait, what?”

“If problems arise after you reach a higher stage, then so be it. But for now, since you’ve received the recommendation of Saintess candidates, the verification process must continue. After all, the role of the defense attorney is just to argue why you are not fit to be a Saintess. Also, strictly speaking, the candidate cannot recommend their own defense attorney.”

Ah, right.

For whatever reason, they’re still someone who denies “my position.” The more I dislike it, the more it seems like they are a perfect candidate for it.

Hearing the Cardinal’s words, I just sat there for a while, lost in thought. I thought the Cardinal would just dislike me outright.

But why…?

I absentmindedly waved my hand in front of my face, noticing the light reflected on it. When I caught sight of the Cardinal staring at me, I quickly lowered my hand.

In the end, I didn’t argue or say anything else until I left the room.