LIGHTNOVELSTORY Chapter 4: Divine Gameshow
Alain wasn't prepared for anything that was happening to him right now. "My new life is going to be determined by a generic brand Thor clone? Nuh uh, ain't no way…"
The Judge did a quick pec flex before looking directly at the spinning black can that contained our hero, "Yes Alain, that's exactly what's going to happen here."
"Thank you, you may be seated." The cloud face said to the court. A shuffle was heard as dozens of gods took their seats. The long tables in front of the seats were partitioned so that each god may have their own private table space. Whoever chose to design this place must have had a taste for white on black, as the room almost resembled a chess table between the white marble floors with black accents and the alternated white and black tables.
"Wait, he heard me?" Alain thought.
"Heard isn't the right word, we are able to read the frequencies emitted from your thoughts. It's almost like a sense of touch for us" said a goddess who was sitting in the first row. She was beautiful with red hair and a green dress. She smiled at the Judge and sat down then proceeded to flick her finger three times. Each flick brought a new item to the desk, a pen, a notepad and a purse wallet.
"Court is in session Artia, you would do well to remember your etiquette." The cloud face bailiff said in a dismissal tone.
Alain didn't know how to stop his thoughts, he was essentially on truth serum here. Anything that came to his mind was as clear as a spoken word and there were many ears here. He had a brief 'man moment' after seeing the goddess's beauty and she clearly took a moment of pause as she processed that information. Alain didn't think that gods could blush, but there she was.
The entire court began to laugh.
"I'm f*cked, holy sh*t." The laughter grew.
Ding!
A bell sound was heard followed by the same female voice that Alain heard in his head earlier.
Looks like the imaginary floating text was still a thing, Alain wondered if this was just a part of him now. The can started to slow down.
"Finally, that buzzing sound was killing me." mumbled one of the gods.
A black casket made out of the same material as the "Alain can" appeared just in front of Alain. Discount Thor snapped his fingers and the glass that was encompassing the "Alain can" expanded to encompass both the casket and the can. The pedestal melted down and merged with the floor as if it was never there in the first place.
"Formula?" Alain thought. "What am I, baby food?"
The can floated on its own over to the casket and inserted itself into a receptacle that was cut out perfectly so that one end of the cylinder could sit inside it without any wiggle room.
A pressurized steam sound was heard as the 'Alain can' completed its job. Alain felt very weird to say the least. This sensation as if his whole body had fallen asleep and the blood was slowly rushing back, making him feel like there were millions of needles poking at his skin everywhere.
A round of applause erupted from the court and a new god walked into the courtroom, rolling out his own personal red carpet as he walked.
"Hello gods and goblins!" The god walked with a swagger that could only be obtained by a man who had done this a thousand times. He wore a white suit and pants combo with a black bowtie and a black pocket square. His hair was white and he had a white goatee. Alain thought the dude would be a great candidate to sell him some fried chicken.
The red headed goddess covered her mouth and smiled at Alain's thought.
The new god's eye twitched before he proceeded, "We are here today to determine the path of a new Hero. Since it's been 500 years since the last time this particular court has gathered, I'll briefly explain what's going on for some of you with shorter memories than the rest of us."
He walked in front of Alain's casket and turned around to face the court, "For thousands of years our kind has summoned souls from many worlds to come to this mortal realm. We are all gods, we all have our own worlds and worshipers, but the world of Tiamat is under joint custody, it belongs to all of us."
The god straightened his posture and adjusted his tie, "I am Glurt and it's been my duty to oversee any court matters in regards to Tiamat since the inception of this wonderful realm and planet. Since this world is used to settle many internal issues between gods, there's a very strict list of laws that have been set to limit our interference down there, but this is also a planet created in tribute to the spirit of entertainment."
Alain was listening to every word, completely flabbergasted. "Uh, I think you can hear me right?" he thought.
Glurt was taken aback by the interruption, but he turned back to the casket and put a hand on it, his voice went up a good three octaves "Hey there little guy!" He used a baby voice as if he were talking to a cute little puppy. "That's right! You're so smart! We can com-mun-i-cate!" He stretched out the last word and mimicked a cellphone with his hand and pointed at the gesture with his other hand.
"Good lord, f*ck me." Alain's thoughts betrayed him. Glurt's eyes went wide, but Alain continued, "I'm so sorry, little bit of a slip there, you know sometimes these things happen? Wow, this is really hard, hold on, I can normally filter these thoughts out before I talk but this is, like, not the same thing as talking is it? Kind of feels like all of you are inside me and there's not a single thing I can hide, haha!" Alain's mind was word vomiting. He wasn't used to monitoring his stream of consciousness, but now it was his method of communicating with beings that controlled worlds.
He felt like a naked child in front of a pack of wolves.
After a short pause, a loud outburst of laughter erupted as well as a few, "Awwww"s as all the gods clearly were eating this up.
"HE'S SO FRIGGIN' CUTE!" Said a literal walking mountain.
Glurt smiled wide and patted the casket, "Awe it's okay widdl' guy!" Glurt cleared his throat and did his best to cut the baby voice, but it would occasionally slip back in. "This isn't our first time, we are used to it. Humans have never been able to lie to us, we've seen this reaction many times!" He nodded in thought, "Don't worry, I don't take any offense about your subconscious comparisons to my appearance. Clearly someone who worships me has found a way to enter your world and run a business in my image. I'm actually quite flattered! There, you shouldn't be nervous anymore since I've cleared the air, go on now, what do you need to say little fella?"
Alain wanted to inform Glurt that clearing someone's anxiety would be a more complicated process, but he quickly did his best to stifle the thought and focus on what he really wanted to convey.
"What do you mean when you say this world is created in the spirit of entertainment? Is this actually a video game after all? You had in the first half there with all the pain, actually, now that we are on the topic, maybe a bit too much pain. I'd recommend dialing that back about, all the way perhaps?" Alain nodded but then felt weird when he realized that he was simply a casket and no one could see him.
Glurt shook his head, "You've got the wrong idea. This is no game for you, this is your new life! For us, however, your life is similar to a game." Glurt paused and waited for Alain's inevitable protest, but it never came.
"Not going to complain about that?" Glurt probed.
"I mean, honestly I've always viewed my life as a game anyways. I live each day doing my best to find enjoyment out of it just like every game I've ever played. If you're saying my life is a game, then I'm just happy to be a player, ya know?" Alain shrugged in vain. "I guess my question is, is Tiamat just a world for your entertainment, that's all?"
"Well yes and no. Tiamat was made as a reminder! A reminder that sometimes, it's more fun when you're not in full control." Glurt faced the crowd. "Please raise your hand if you have a world that you've created and you just don't like it anymore?" Glurt looked over the crowd as more than twenty hands were raised while some were hesitant to put their hands up, but clearly contemplated it.
"This is why Tiamat was created. Ideas are almost like life forms, actually, there are a few gods who aren't in attendance today who would argue that they are, in fact, certified individual beings, but we don't invite those weirdos." He laughed at his own comment. "The point is, if an idea is alone, it will stay stagnant and never reach its full potential. Whereas an idea that's in competition with other ideas must fight to survive, honing its foundations." a few gods groaned at the long explanation.
"In other words, teamwork makes the dream work! Also, we use Tiamat to settle disputes. Who gets the right to create the next world" he shrugged, "I don't know why don't we just simply send down a Divine treasure into Tiamat and bet on which nation will claim it as their own?" it's neutral ground for us, you see, if we got into an argument, entire worlds could cease to be. It's better to let you guys act as puppets of fate, and fate will determine how we solve our conflict." Glurt took a deep breath, as if he was going to go deep into another long explanation.
"That sure is a lot of exposition, but I get it, thanks." Alain thought without meaning to, but Glurt looked relieved.
"Alright then, let's get right to it. We are here to build this Hero's path, as he has elected to put his fate into our hands!" the whole court cheered.
"Sadly, our Hero has determined his stats on his own, but he has given us free reign over his traits and weaknesses." Several gods looked disappointed about the stats, but were still overall positive about the situation. "Furthermore, he's selected Challenge Mode!" he raised out his arms in a 'Y' shape.
A collective gasp was heard then the air felt electric as the crowd erupted into a cheer.
"I sure as heck selected challenge mode by choice, that's right! And guess what, I'd do it again!" Alain boasted instinctively, he simply couldn't help himself with all the excitement.
The court went wild, roses were summoned into existence and thrown at Alian's casket.
The Judge's gavel struck again, creating another clap of Divine thunder. The crowd quickly became silent as the Judge got up and walked over to the casket.
"You'd do it again, you say?" The Judge inquired.