RE: Filthy Gamer in Narutoverse

A/N: Don't judge me for this 'self' scene. I just had a dream… and please be sure to review the ff and vote~! We are only two reviews short from an actual rating! Remember, we only have one spot left for highlights and pins so bring out your edge game for it! May the edgiest review win!

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Hentai Shinobi Rule 11: Every Hole is a Goal. Broaden your mind.

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Academy Hours were the ideal time to meet Mito. Although dissatisfied with Mito's need to screen her choice of men, Tsunade accepted the offer. The well-known medical kunoichi grew up under her grandmother during her formative years and knew Mito was only concerned for her well-being.

'I hope she likes Dan,' Tsunade thought giddily. She met Dan a few years ago. It was nothing special. However, they drew closer. Tsunade liked Dan and believed meeting Mito would cement their relationship. Dan was a handsome man with a promising future, something that Tsunade finds hottest in a man. After all, most of her role models were high-achievers.

Her grandfather singlehandedly pulled the curtains on the warring era, and her granduncle introduced several invaluable policies that shaped the Shinobi structure everyone presently embraced.

So, it's hardly surprising that Tsunade aspired for comparable accomplishments.

Or winning ten billion ryo via gambling.

Unsurprisingly, her luck sucked.

She WAS nicknamed the Legendary Sucker in the gambling circle for a reason.

However, today was going to be different.

She made the right call.

Dan… he was special. Exceptional.

<<<>>>

"Tsunade, please listen!"

Tsunade didn't stop for the man chasing her. He looked shaken. The man's usually handsome and calm features appeared apologetic.

"I didn't lie, Tsunade," Dan snapped, finally forcing Tsunade to stop.

The woman turned around and glared at Dan. They were attracting a crowd. Tsunade, feeling hurt and misled, returned the favor and snapped.

"You didn't lie," Tsunade conceded. "But what did you do when Grandma asked if you approached me with sleazy intentions?"

Dan opened his mouth to say something before stopping.

"Nothing," Tsunade spat. "You said nothing when Grandma asked if someone sent you to bed me, seduce me, and ensure I had children. Nothing. Damn you, Dan! Do you think I was born yesterday? We're shinobi. These things are to be expected. But three years… I thought things had changed these three years!"

Dan looked away as Tsunade snorted coldly and walked away.

"We're done," she hissed. "Better it is us wasting three years than ruining the fourth one."

Dan thinned his lips before exhaling loudly.

'We had three years… but barely met a couple of times due to our missions.' He nearly retorted. However, Dan didn't want to let anger jeopardize what remained of his career.

'How should I report this to Lord Third?'

He flickered away.

As the crowd dispersed, four heads peeked from the nearby alley. The children had dangos stuffed into their cheeks.

"Whabh wassh thab abouhb?" Tsume struggled to chew. Their competition to hold the most dangos became the most counterproductive.

"Sballoh firsh anb theb talbh!" Kai reprimanded his first follower.

"Youh toobh!" Kushina eyed the menace. Yes. Kai was a menace when he stuck to the Transformation Jutsu grind. Kushina and Mikoto stopped being devils in fear of retaliation. Who said fear wasn't helpful?

Those noobs probably weren't using the required amount.

"Hmph," Mikoto snorted. Like a proper heiress, as traditional as she could be—Mikoto swallowed the whole load and shook her head. "That was Lady Tsunade, right? Was that a lover's spat?"

"I hope so," Kai smiled dreamily.

"Pervy Kai-chan!" Kushina pouted and glared at the boy.

"What's perverted about liking the strong?" Tsume sharply countered. "Alpha has the right to enjoy what he likes."

"Very good," Kai smiled, promptly patting the girl.

Mikoto rolled her eyes.

"As if someone as renowned as Lady Tsunade will ever like Kai-chan. You should stick to… your level." She declared before working her jaw. "I wonder when I can be like Lady Tsunade."

"Uh… isn't she too big?" Kushina questioned.

"Not like that," Mikoto felt defeated.

"I meant her contributions to Iryo Ninjutsu. Lady Tsunade devised a ninjutsu category single-handedly. There had been several medical ninjutsu before her. However, nobody could generalize the practice of Iryo Ninjutsu until Lady Tsunade."

Mikoto's eyes sparkled as she looked at Kai and Kushina. She complained without bothering to hide her envy. "You two are lucky to meet Lady Tsunade often."

"Not really," Kushina shrugged. "Tsunade-san is usually occupied with missions or something else. I've only met her twice."

"Well, I'd like to meet her more often," Kai giggled. If only he could get his hands on Tsunade's portrait…

Maybe Kai has a thing for staining someone's face. So, what? It's not like he was transforming—

'No… it can't be.' Kai paused. Could THAT be possible?

Kai felt compelled to test it. Lust bubbled in his gut, and need coursed through his veins. It could be possible. He needed confirmation.

He needed answers.

"Alpha?" Tsume tapped Kai's shoulder. "Should we train?"

"Not today," Kai canceled all his plans. Kushina and Mikoto looked shocked as Kai grinned.

"I have something to confirm."

He immediately left the trio.

"I… I didn't like that smile," Mikoto gulped.

<<<>>>

Unlike before, Kai did not make the same error of being impatient. He baked for Mito to earn that sweet SP, massaged her feet since he was a man of habit, and studied the usual sealing matrices because it was his time to grind on the [General Fuinjutsu Skill Tree].

Kai returned to his room, ignoring how Mito looked troubled by something, possibly feeling bad for ruining Tsunade's relationship.

He was… anticipative.

He carefully recovered the clean portrait from before. Kai initially desired to experiment with Tsunade's likeness. Then he realized how hollow that would feel. And… Kai recalled that the young, dignified Mito possessed an appeal lacked by others.

So, Kai placed the portrait on his mattress.

'It should work…'

The [Transformation Jutsu (E)] offered Kai a vast catalog of information. He knew more about several species, including their habits, the texture of their hides and hair, and the sharpness of their claws.

This information extended to several inorganic materials like rocks or various man-made items. Kai believed he would learn about almost everything that existed till this point. Or whatever was recorded—that's how the [Skill Tree] sub-trait classified information, skill ranks, and levels.

So, Kai also knew how to transform perfectly into other humans. He knew what to look at. He understood how to notice the skin's texture and copy someone's body odor.

And… Kai knew how to transform other things into… humans.

Transforming external targets, including inanimate objects, was specialized. One of the more famous examples would be Tsume's Clan—The Inuzuka, transforming their ninken into their likeness to execute Cooperation Jutsus.

Kai focused on the image and felt how smooth Mito's skin must have been. He imagined the soft texture of her mouth, the pliant and supple body underneath those white robes and—

*Poof*

A plume of smoke erupted around the portrait.

Soon, Kai found a dignified figure with a blank stare sitting on his mattress.

It was Mito.

Kai looked fascinated. He leaned around, touching her hair and skin before noticing how light her body was. After all, the Transformation Jutsu couldn't change the target's weight. He could blow a soft breath, and 'Mito' would fly.

As Kai predicted…

The perfect onahole.

It was challenging not to grin foolishly.

Indeed, Chakra was a pathway to several ero-abilities some consider unnatural.

But he wasn't stupid enough to stick his throbbing erection into the figure's mouth. He wasn't down THAT down-bad. Besides… what if the transformation ended, and he got a papercut?

Additionally, Kai refused to share sexual experiences with a toy. He wanted a proper fellatio.

So, oil in hand, Kai set to work.

Kai wondered why he always chose young Mito as his target before focusing on the mark on her forehead.

Right. Target practice.

Again, Kai's spine shuddered with pleasure as he slid his hand up and down, slicked with oil. The firm pull of his not-so-flexible skin tucked under his glans ironically felt more stimulating. Kai loved some hurt occasionally.

His figure relatively towered over the seated Mito. In his infinite wisdom, Kai closed her eyes since those dead pupils looked weird.

His imagination of covering Mito's face with his seed made him harder. Thicker.

Kai wondered if other Shinobi did something similar. Was there someone who even thought of such possibilities?

He huffed, feeling a sensational buzz in his brain. His spine tingled, and his hand stroked down faster. It felt great.

Resisting the urge to let his gaze wander, even up his skull with all the pleasure fueling his veins, Kai focused on the mark on Mito's forehead.

A soft grunt forced its way out as Kai came.

It wasn't close to the mark. Instead, the thick spurts of cum struck Mito's right eye as Kai licked his dry lips.

Thinking something, he reached forward with his ready-to-wank cock.

No, he wasn't going to get a blowjob from a portrait. However…

Kai felt more than aroused once he cleaned his cock over Mito's lips.

'Holy shit,' Kai exclaimed internally. His balls churned at the sight and sensation. 'I would have totally banged Mito if I met her before.'

This time, Kai continued pressing his cockhead against Mito's lips as he rubbed his length.

Soon, Kai angled his cock upward and showered Mito's stately, dressed form with more cream.

Oh, she liked cream. Kai knew it. So, why wouldn't he diligently offer his savings to the woman who took him in?

<<<>>>

Mito was… appalled!

What was the brat doing now?!

She sensed his abrasive lust and urge when he returned. However, as he cooked, studied, and massaged her feet, he showed a remarkably calm exterior. Mito would have never known a thing without her ability to sense emotions.

Kai felt worse than before.

His lust felt heavier. His desires felt darker.

A younger Mito might have felt titillated. However, the current one worried for the boy.

So… she checked on him.

Mito considered that one of her life's three greatest mistakes right below becoming a jinchuriki and allowing Hashirama and Madara to spend hours drinking and 'resolving' their past grudges.

There 'she' sat—in his room. Her figure was breathtaking. Why the 'Mito' in Kai's room looked more curvaceous was anybody's guess. However, Mito couldn't 'look' away from seeing her doppelganger's face coated with virile seed.

There was so much!

Then, Kai dared to clean his cock against her… ehm, the clone's lips.

Just who corrupted the boy to this extent?

How did Kai even realize the Transformation Jutsu could be used this way?

Most importantly, why was Kai THIS competent and precise with the Jutsu, which took years to master and refine despite it being an E-ranked Jutsu?

Why was Kai so good at turning something—

*Poof*

Kai used her portrait as the transformation material. Again, the portrait was coated with Kai's thick seed.

A sticky, off-white mess obscured her stately features.

Mito's lips twitched.

She realized she could have just transformed a log into something she liked and rode it till dawn whenever her 'Lord Husband' was out with her favorite boy toy.

She still… could.

No, that would ruin her motherly figure.

What would Tsunade think?

Well, Tsunade be damned. That blonde punk was the reason the sweet Kai turned into—

Mito peeked again. The mess of a portrait drew her attention.

—lustful, virile freak.

"I got an idea." Barked Mito's furrey tenant. "Turn a tree into a giant dildo and spread yourself to death—"

Always so salty, Mito scoffed. She cut off that connection. Not that the Kyubi would have anything wise to offer.

Mito fell silent.

What should she do?

On the one hand, Kai was making outstanding progress with one of the most precious skills in a Shinobi's life—the Transformation Jutsu.

On the other hand… Kai continued ruining her likeness. He spent hours satiating his lust on her… her likeness.

Did she look that good?

Mito always imagined that she appeared more of a brawler to her peers than a subject of corrupted desires.

'Wait…' Mito's eyes widened. 'Is that why he asked about the seal on my forehead?'

Her freshly pampered toes curled.

The wrinkles… disappeared further.

Nothing to see here.

She just felt… something.

Mito wanted to move again. The hastiness and brashness she once believed to have discarded filled her veins.

Her chakra responded to her urges.

'The monthly meeting is right around the corner. I should join it this time.'

But… what was this feeling?

It wasn't something so stupid as lust. Not that desire and passion were stupid. Mito believed it was a recipe for a healthy relationship—

'I should stop thinking and rest.'

Mito begrudgingly scoffed and closed her eyes.

Yet… all she saw was her face coated with spurts of hot, tantalizing seed—fresh off her lover, sliding down her face and into her mouth or on her breasts—

"Damn it! Sleep or think something else!"

<<<>>>

"You did pretty bad on your quiz," Kai remarked as he looked at Kushina's answer sheet. The students aren't rid of theories because they moved on to training better things. Instead, Icha-sensei quizzed the students, forcing them to revise the theories at home instead of wasting their time.

"Shut up, dattebane!" Kushina pouted. The duo made their way to the Academy grounds.

Kai was actually… happy.

"You know," Kai looked at Kushina. "I won't be able to graduate if Icha-Sensei pulled you back for another year because of your theories."

"Why?" Kushina almost rambled on the world's unfairness and how the 'One' Ramen would bring true peace before recalling their seals.

That's right.

Kai was her guardian. He would be around her. Their teams would be the same. And for that, Kai was thankful!

Kai didn't mind going on missions. He didn't care about who he might kill or whatnot. This world was several times crueler than his previous one. Only… Konoha hid things well from the children during their formative years.

Even the orphans got good food and toys. So much so that Kai had to step in and teach them the reality of this world.

However, Kai knew that falling under the system may inhibit his grind unless he entered the Genin Corps as a loner or got assigned to a cooperative Jonin-Sensei.

The former was unlikely since Kushina came to this village on a special mission, which Kushina refused to discuss. So, the chances of the Third Hokage chucking Kushina into a team alongside Kai were higher.

Kai would have another year of peaceful grind should Icha-Sensei pull Kushina back by another year. She won't be the first one to experience that.

"I'm sorry, dattebane," Kushina whispered with a sad expression as she felt a pat on her back.

Looking up, Kushina met Kai's bright grin.

"Don't mind it, Kushina. I'll stick alongside you till the end."

Her eyes widened before she quickened her step.

"Oi… that's the wrong direction," Kai called out.

"I-I know, dattebane! I was just checking if you knew!" Kushina glared at Kai with a beet-red face.

"What are you? Stupid?" Kai blinked before shrugging.

"You're the stupid one!"

"The quiz results say otherwise."

They stepped out, noting a few groups sparring with each other.

Kai's entrance instantly attracted attention as he met Minato's eager stare.

Minato was sparring with Hiruna and a few other kids.

However, Kai and Minato knew whom they wanted to spar with the most—

"There's Mikoto and Tsume-chan!" Kushina gripped Kai's shoulder with a grin. She looked extraordinarily happy for someone who failed another quiz. "Let's train, Kai-chan!"

Minato's and Kai's feeble hearts longed for each other.

<<<>>>

"Studying?"

Mikoto could have never guessed the reason for Kushina's invitation to the Uzumaki residence.

Kushina blushed and pouted.

"C-could you tutor me?" The redhead coiled an index finger around her vibrant lock of hair. "I… I want to graduate this year with all of you."

Mikoto worked her jaw as Kushina continued.

"I know that you've got training, too. Sorry for being selfish…"

"Why don't you ask Kai-chan?" Mikoto tilted her head.

"I wanted to surprise him," Kushina puffed. "Also, he's always helping around without breaking a sweat. I can't ask him to waste more time on me… I'm stupid, dattebane. Kai-chan will just laugh at me."

"Doesn't he laugh at us either way," Mikoto pouted. The boy was growing rowdier the more he defeated them in spars. It was annoying.

"That's different," Kushina avoided Mikoto's gaze before grinning foolishly.

Kai would never hurt her. He was willing to stay beside her. So, she wanted to be better.

'Hehe~ Always by my side~!' Kushina suddenly giggled as Mikoto leaned forward. The Uchiha narrowed her eyes.

"Did something happen?"

"Ack! Nothing!"

"Tell me!"

"Nothing, dattebane!"

"I'll tickle you if you don't tell me," Mikoto warned.

"Y-you wouldn't—" Kushina took a step back. "I invited you to my room!"

Mikoto shrugged.

"I'll invite you and Kai into Uchiha Compound in the next few days. The dangos there will be my treat. Now…" she grinned. "Tell me!"

"Nooooo! Pfft, hahahahaha! Not there! That's dishonest!"

Kai calmly massaged Mito's legs, unaware of her focused stare. Kushina's laugh suddenly echoed through the halls as Kai sighed.

It happened. The redheaded ramen-loving-bimbo snapped after failing the quiz successively.

Even better. Kushina would stay in the academy for a few years.

"Kai-kun?"

Kai perked up and smiled at Mito.

"Yes, Mito-sama?"

The woman observed the boy—searching for something. She exhaled before shaking her head.

"Nothing. Your cooking has improved again."

"Thanks~!" Kai chortled.

***

Alternate Title: The Legendary Sucker Strikes Again; Mito To Tsunade For Her Gambling and Mating Choices: Failure; Mito's The Ultimate Asian Parent; The Ultimate Horny; The Break-Up; Tsunade's Free?; Kai's Mind; Kai: Sometimes my Genius… It's Almost Frightening; The Perfect Onahole; The Use of Skilled Transformation Jutsu; Mikoto Got That Sex Senses; Kai Takes His Time; Cleaning With The Lips; Begin The Target Practice; Bothered Mikoto; Kai Changing The Plot By Just Existing; Mito's Three Mistakes: Taking On Kyubi, Taking on Hashirama, and Now Taking on Kai; Mito: What Happened To My Sweetling! *Glares at Tsunade's Tits: Should Have Never Fed You So Much*; Mito Catching Stray… Cumshots; The Virility Strikes Again; Kyubi Has No Chill; Mito Feels Something; Kai On His Path of Ero Ninjutsu; Tsunade: I Founded Iryo Ninjutsu! What Did You Do? *Kai: Smiles Deviously*; The Quizzes; The Longing Boys; Continued Practice; Bukkake Lover; Mito Can Imagine It Flowing Down Her, EHM; Everybody Though Mito Groomed Kai… It Was Always The Opposite; Kai: Good. Keep Failing *Kushina: I'm About To Do What's Called a Pro Gamer Move*; Mikoto's Threat; Kai Rizzes Left and Right; Even Minato Isn't Immune To The Violent Rizz; Mito, The Perfect Onahole

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