Resetting Lady

During the brief break, Carynne ripped off the decorative flowers draped over her one by one. While doing so, she struggled to untangle her complicated thoughts and thought about it.

Who did her father say he met?

Obviously, Carynne strangled Nancy. But did she stop breathing for sure? No way, no way. In case she hadn’t died from that, Carynne would have done something about it. Then since it’s like this, from when did the illusion stop and reality start? Carynne was suspicious of the incident, but rather, she was more distressed about herself.

“…Haa.”

She breathed in the cool night air. Perhaps her mind was getting a little clearer because of this. Leaning on the balcony’s railing, she looked up at the moon. Her head was pounding. She needed some time to think.

How far could she trust her own senses?

Carynne looked down at her hands. How far could a lunatic be sure of her own senses when she knew for a fact that she’d gone mad?

In the end, Carynne had no choice but to guess through the others, not through herself. More than anyone else, she couldn’t trust herself.

She contemplated other people’s words rather than her own perspective and experiences. First, she had to exclude the assumption that even this was just a dream. Let’s think about this rationally, Carynne.

Isella saw Nancy’s corpse. Nancy’s death was certain to some extent, since Carynne also personally saw the same corpse. And the coachman who used to fancy the maid was now interested in Donna.

But let’s set this aside for now. There lay no certainty in emotions. Dialogue, testimonies—these were the ones that mattered.

There was a certain window of time between Carynne and Isella seeing the corpse. Carynne had no  intention of hiding the corpse in the first place, so she just left it as is. She also left the necklace on the body. Between those timeframes, there was plenty of time for someone to come and chop up the corpse.

Whatever process they used, there was only one thing for her to confirm right now.

Did the fief lord tell the truth about this?

“What are you thinking so hard about?”

Raymond suddenly entered the dark balcony.

So damn annoying.

Carynne had to wrestle with herself to school her features as she looked at Raymond. He butted into her thoughts.

“It’s nothing much.”

She crushed the petals in her hands and threw them away. Annoying. If this life could be considered a good fantasy, then among everything here, Raymond was a first-class nightmare. His outward appearance was luminous, but he was never the answer.

His love was meaningless.

His face, his capabilities, his wealth—everything was useless when Carynne had so many questions.

“If it’s nothing much, then I would like to spend this time reserved for nothing together with you.”

“Please don’t tease me.”

“I apologize. Would you like to have a drink? This has high sugar content, so it’s a good refreshment.”

You’re teasing me properly, aren’t you.

Frustrated, Carynne glared at the glass as she replied.

“I can’t drink liquor because of my injury.”

“I’ll have to drink two glasses then.”

Whoop-de-doo.

“Why don’t you just drink from the bottle?”

Go ahead and die from alcohol poisoning. That’s perfectly fine.

“…Haha!”

Raymond’s eyes widened, then he burst into laughter.

“It seems like you’re in a sour mood?”

“What should I be happy about? I got stabbed by a knife…”

Because you were late.

Raymond’s face lit up with a refreshing smile as even his eyes curled up.

“Don’t you think that seeing me is a good thing?”

“Pardon?”

“There was also one noble young lady who applied to be a nurse on the battlefield just to look at me.”

“Ah, yes… Is that so.”

With a playful smile, he made eye contact with her. It was a boyish face.

“You don’t believe me?”

“Wow… Sir Knight, how awfully confident of you.”

Show off. Carynne giggled even though she didn’t find this very funny. Raymond had always been full of confidence. A man like him was adored everywhere he went. Rather, it would be a lie for a handsome man to be humble.

“But this attitude isn’t very good.”

“Are you suggesting that I be more reserved?”

“No, not exactly like that, but… something like this.”

All of a sudden, Raymond was holding Carynne’s hand. She looked up. She tried to pull away, but Raymond held her tightly and did not let go.

“What do you mean, ‘like this’? Like what?”

“Miss Evans… She’s here, you know.”

Tch. Carynne noticed Isella’s presence.

“It just seems like your hand might have gotten hurt.”

“Let go.”

“Please give me a moment.”

Shit. Thanks to Raymond, who didn’t care whether Isella was listening or not, Isella was going to bully Carynne for sure later. Isella was close. This was not a good sign.

There was once a time when Isella was so overcome by jealousy that she poured tar on Carynne. Ah, she hated it whenever her hair would get messed up. Carynne preferred a more covert bullying method.

“It’s a face that I really don’t like though.”

Yeah. Thanks to him, the future was certain—the length of her hair would change. Carynne became frustrated with Raymond. No matter how she felt inside, Raymond continued to look at her with a gentle gaze.

“I already anticipated that you wouldn’t like me.”

“If you imagined that much, then I believe you’re a bit sick. Why would I do that?”

“I’m a very popular groom candidate.”

Whispering to Carynne, he said this so sincerely, as though he was truly having fun.

“This negotiation is quite favorable to the Evans family,” Raymond continued.

“…So?”

Unhurriedly, Raymond’s eyes turned towards the very tip of her fingernails, to her wrist, her shoulders, then down—his gaze stopped at her side for a moment, before he once again looked into Carynne’s eyes. His deep, saccharine voice rang in her ears. Carynne’s throat quivered minutely.

“If you steal me away from Miss Evans, then it will be the perfect revenge. So I thought about it. I believe you’re aiming for my body. And I think you’ve known me for a long time.”

“Haa, how would I know you? I met you for the first time that night.”

Raymond leaned in slightly and looked into Carynne’s eyes.

“You’re lying, aren’t you?”

“Pardon”

“You know me.”

Ba-dump.

There’s no way.

Of course not.

“What… You, I know you’re famous because you’re a war hero.”

“Not like that.”

There’s really no way.

In the past, decades ago, almost 100 years ago, since the very first meeting.

I’ve tried to tell you several times. I’ve tried to ask you several times.

Don’t you know me? Do you really not remember me? How could you forget me?

“…Are you saying that I’m seducing you on purpose?”

And you didn’t.

You didn’t remember me.

“That night, I saw you say my name. You were quite a distance away, but I saw that you said my name for sure.”

“……”

Ah, I knew it.

Carynne couldn’t stand the disappointment washing over her. But still, she expected that it would be like this.

Just in case—just in case. Maybe you’d remember your previous life. Then I won’t live this repetitive life alone. I hoped for just a moment. But what can I expect? I’ve already tried to check that much in the past.

“Ah… Right, so you saw. Miss Isella did boast a lot about you being a sharpshooter…”

She twisted away from him.

How disappointing. Right, I have to play the role of an innocent girl, a shy tomboy who secretly likes you.

“I heard a rumor that you’re here… You’re famous even in these parts, so just, perhaps you did come…”

Her face became red.

“That’s all.”

There was also some time that elapsed before he ran after her. The distance should have been quite far away, and since it was nighttime, Raymond couldn’t have read her lips clearly. Even so, he cornered her and asked if she really said his name, so he must think so.

Carynne felt the heat of her anticipation die down. The night air was chilly.

“Well, alright.”

The space between them had gotten wider. But Raymond held her hand again.

“You really don’t get surprised at all.”

“What do you mean?”

“That night, I said I had read your lips… But why aren’t you surprised?”

“Pardon? Because, you have good eyes…”

Hadn’t he always been the beloved knight?

But the gentle look in his eyes disappeared, and strange doubts arose. His lips were twisted now.

“People usually just admire my shooting skills.”

He gripped her hand a little tighter before he let go again.

“You weren’t awestruck, neither were you suspicious of me. It’s like you already know me so well.”

“……”

“But when you look at my face, it seems to be far from something like affection.”

“What… Lord Raymond, you’re going too far with your accusations. Fine. I thought that it would be more comfortable for me—for the sake of my family—if you’ll fall in love with me. But don’t try to read more into it than that.”

“So you planned to seduce me? With that expression on your face?”

While Raymond spoke still with the same expression as a while ago, Carynne felt a little flustered and awkward. She tried to step back, but there was no more space behind her.

Avoiding his burdensome gaze, Carynne continued speaking.

“I was trying until a while ago. Now that I’ve been caught, I’m feeling terribly ashamed. Happy now?”

She pushed Raymond away. However, rather than moving, his trained body was stuck there as though he was the one pushing her. There was still a smile on his lips.

“Sir Raymond. Please refrain from paying too much attention to my fiancée.”

Dullan was here, and he grabbed Raymond’s arm.

“Excuse me.”

He took Raymond’s hand off.

“…L-Let’s go back.”

Carynne rubbed her wrist. Dullan usually didn’t come at this time, but it’s a good sign that Dullan was approaching her this often. It would be easier to kill him. On the other hand, it seemed like it’s going to be a challenge to kill Raymond.

But it’ll be worth it. I’ll kill you. You. Definitely. The moment you beg for my love, I’ll hand you a poisoned chalice. Raymond, my knight. I can’t believe you’re resisting like this. I can’t believe you’re twisting a dagger of doubt like this. It’s getting harder and harder to kill you.

Carynne inwardly recalled her vow.

Carynne wished to kill Raymond. Because he’s the male lead. Wasn’t it unfair to keep dying alone? If the story changed when one character was killed, it gave her goosebumps just thinking of what kind of ending there would be after Raymond’s death. It’ll be fun, certainly.

Carynne would continue to kill. He would be Carynne’s main dish. She could cook him and chew him and swallow him whole.

Even at this moment, there was something she was curious about. He was always like that. Regardless of which ending. She wondered then, if he would be the same again this time.

She wants to know.

Will you love me again this time?

* * *

“Now then. It’s time for an experiment.”

In a little while, she would be able to find out if her father lied. While holding a watch up, she glanced over at the chopped-up corpse. She’d know for sure this time. Let’s see if the body disappears after a day.

“Will you watch it closely without looking away?”

The boy shook his head with tears brimming his eyes. He didn’t want to do it. Carynne didn’t like this. She grabbed the kid’s shoulder tightly and smiled up close to his face.

“Understand? Watch it closely.”

Carynne looked down at the boy she had kidnapped.