Retired Hero Wants To Sleep

Mission No.1 Return of the Magic Swordsman (01)

“If you gather only the best people in each field and make a unit, will that unit be able to win the war?”

Since it was such an absurd question, I smiled slightly at the soldier who asked the question.

“If you put the finest beef in the finest mead, mix it with the finest eel, put the finest beer with the finest peanuts, cook it over a fire made with the finest charcoal fire, and put the food on the finest plate with the finest ladle, would you be able to eat it?”

“… I don’t think I can eat it.”

I nodded.

“Even an army supported by heaven and earth cannot survive if it fights against an army with high morale. The more each person’s ability jumps out, the worse it will get.”

The friend nodded his head as if he knew something.

“Then what if the best agents gathered in a small unit and performed an impossible mission?”

Small squad? I tilted my head for a moment. But the answer was fixed, so I opened my mouth without hesitation.

“It might work out. By the way, it’s my personal taste, but wouldn’t it be more fun to have friends who are screwed up somewhere do big things than to get together with a bunch of great guys and do impossible things?”

I hit the finishing blow to that friend who was looking at me with an ah face.

“It’s unlucky if you only mess with the good guys.”

Excerpted from ‘He sat down saying something like the best military unit’ in 『Omandaejabron (五萬大雜論), which becomes bones and flesh that can be enough to serve as a side dish for drinking parties, even though there is no hindrance to living. A lofty archaeologist, a historical historian, and the first knight of the empire, Radvan Centavius.

Ewald opened his eyes with a strange feeling. That strange feeling was transmitted from behind. It was so soft that it was so cozy that I couldn’t get out of it.

I tried to remember when was the last time I felt this feeling, but all I could see were memories that were too distant or vague afterimages.

Ewald raised his head.

Ewald felt a sense of alienation from the elegantly decorated ceiling. It is a luxurious ceiling that I have never seen before.

‘Is it a dream?’

“Kitsuka-sama.”

I woke up. Ewald hurriedly lifted his upper body from the bed.

“Who are you?”

A voice very similar to a growl of a beast. I was surprised by myself, so I wondered if the other person was shocked.

However, the person who spoke to Ewald answered his question in a voice that was not embarrassed.

“My name is Melina. Did you rest comfortably?”

A woman entered Ewald’s gaze. A woman showing herself the crown of her head with her upper body bowed, with her knees bent on her floor. She appears to be her maid, as she is wearing a maid’s uniform.

“His Majesty the Emperor is waiting for you. Getting ready…”

“Emperor?”

Balt tilted his head for a moment as if his sense of reality hadn’t returned properly, then scratched his head and opened his mouth.

“Old Man Hafeweizen?”

The lady-in-waiting made her jaw drop at his words and opened her mouth. Did she just call the emperor the old man?

But Ewald scratched his head again with other concerns.

Has Hafeweizen stepped down as emperor?

“Excuse me… I’m sorry, but who is the emperor now?”

She came here after hearing the emperor’s order to take care of a human named ‘Ebalt’. He even had the mindset to attend at night if necessary.

However, the lady-in-waiting looked at Balt blankly and hurriedly lowered her head as she spoke kind words of honor to herself, who was clearly her handmaid.

“Ka, this is Casper Elgenor III.”

“Kasper?”

For a moment, Ewald put on a blank expression.

“That lesser bastard is the emperor?”

“What, what disrespect are you talking about!”

“Ah…”

Ewald corrected his remarks.

“That lesser bastard is the emperor?”

The lady-in-waiting opened her mouth and made a face as she struggled to breathe.

But Ewald scratched her head at her incomprehensible face.

“I’m not kidding, is Kasper really the emperor now?”

If you’re being sarcastic, I’d rather get angry. However, the lady-in-waiting could only blink her eyes at a man who smiled awkwardly with such a polite face and, to be honest, was quite handsome.

“Everything is special. Has Old Man Hafeweizen gone senile?”

“Mu, mu, what nonsense are you talking about, that!”

“No, the old man told me to be comfortable, so…”

She was an inspiration to the previous emperor, and the handmaid who used to cast a bewildered look at this rude person, she seems to have no idea what to say anymore.

“Well, I see. So you’re saying Kasper is waiting for me right now?”

“That… Yes.”

“Ha… It looks like we need to meet.”

The lady-in-waiting opened her mouth with a face that seemed like there are all men like this, and lowered her head slightly.

“Yeah, but I think you need to wash first.”

“… Yes?”

At Ewald’s bewildered voice, Melina lifted her face to say she was really sorry.

“Sorry, but the smell…”

Plugged her nose.

Warm water. Ewald thought quietly as he dipped his hand in the bathtub full of hot water.

’27 years.’

A right hand that moves the water to one side. Ewald groaned and looked down at the water moving to one end of the tub.

‘… Why.’

Ewald frowned slightly. But, hastily distorting his expression, he pushed his body into the bathtub.

He couldn’t even remember how long it had been since he felt warmth.

27 years.

“The next three years…”

Throwing meaningless words into the air, he immediately soaked his body in the bathtub. The warmth of the water rising to the top of his head soon diluted his thoughts.

‘Why? …’

After a long time, Ewald shook his head. Judging that it was unlikely that he would get an answer unless he met the emperor himself, he pulled himself out of the bathtub.

Ewald wiped all the moisture from his body. The water from his strong upper body muscles was quickly absorbed into the towel.

However, as Ewald was about to get up from his seat, a woman’s tidy voice sounded in his ears.

“May I wash you?”

Her handmaid, Melina, who was gently keeping her head down and ready to wipe every inch of her body at the command, raised her face with a sales smile, but Ewald exclaimed confidently:

“Hey!”

I’m naked and washing, when did you come in! Frightened by Melina, who was lurking in the seat, perhaps having mastered the assassination technique, Bald pressed her hand against the wall of the bathtub and raised her hand.

“Wash, what?”

“… Yes?”

“I have paws too! What can you wash? Please wash me!”

This time, Melina clasped her hands together as she laid her bewildered face on the floor.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were running…”

Ewald clung to the bathtub wall with a wary look, let out a sigh, and pushed the bathtub away with both hands.

“You shouldn’t look at it carelessly.”

Come to think of it, does it make sense to have front legs? Melina, who involuntarily let out a chuckle at the thought, instinctively lowered her head and let out words of apology.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know stop…”

“I didn’t tell you not to laugh, so you can laugh as you like, right?”

Ewald quickly pulled back her clothes and turned to Melina with a grin.

“It’s funny to say something with a smile.”

Her fresh smile flew to Melina.

After staring blankly at Balt for a moment, Melina hastily lowered her head and put her hands together.

“Does your knee hurt?”

“Yes, yes?”

As her Melina raised her frantic eyes to herself, Ewald smiled again and opened her mouth, wiping her hair with her towel.

“Does your knee hurt?”

At Melina, who was still staring blankly at herself, her mind blankly, Ewald, who revealed her toned body, gave her a grin.

“I have arthritis. Why don’t you stand anyway?”

“Ah, yes.”

Ewald, standing up from her hesitant seat and checking on Melina, briskly brushed her hair and turned her around.

Then he faced a mirror large enough to reflect his entire body.

At that moment, Ewald’s body stopped.

“… What?”

At Balt’s sudden reaction, Melina opened her mouth with a slightly frightened expression.

“What are you doing?”

Ewald stared at the person reflected in the mirror.

Standing in the mirror was a stout man in his mid-twenties.

He was a well-muscled, broad-shouldered man with finely forked muscles. However, Ewald couldn’t believe the reality in front of him.

With her eyes fixed on her mirror, Balt waved her hand at her maid.

“Hey, lady, lady.”

“Yeah, what’s up?”

“What year is this?”

“252 years.”

“What if I subtract 197 from that?”

“… 55.”

Melina gave Balt an expression that made her want to know what kind of human being he is. But before he could answer, Ewald turned to Melina.

“Can I see you for a minute?”

“… Why?”

“No, look at my face.”

Melina hesitated for a moment, then she stared into Ewald’s face. Then she returned to her original position and lowered her eyes.

“Anything you say…”

“How old do you look?”

“… Yes?”

She almost asked if she was going to work for a moment, but Melina blocked her mouth and only lowered her head.

“How old do I look?”

Melina lowered her head slightly and opened her mouth.

“… It looks like mid-twenties.”

“… Under?”

Ewald looked back at the mirror.

I didn’t see it wrong. The person in the mirror is obviously Ewald himself.

His blonde hair had turned gray, but he was clearly his youthful self in the mirror. Moreover, the eyewitness testimony of that Melina agrees.

Mid-twenties?

Unbelievable reality.

“… hahahaha.”

But without realizing it, Ewald began to laugh. The laughter that started out small grew louder and louder, and eventually turned into a gigantic laugh.

Ebalt, who laughed so wildly that tears welled up in his eyes, slowly regained his composure.

Melina, who was looking at Ewald with a crazy look, hurriedly lowered her head when her eyes met Ewald’s.

“Wow, is this all happening? Does it really look like that? Mid-twenties?”

“… That’s right.”

Ewald smiled awkwardly for a moment, but soon turned his face back and turned around. Then, with the momentum to sing his hum song, he packed his clothes and started putting them on.

* * *

Ewald looked around in front of the mirror for a while, then saw someone enter the room. He is a young man with neatly arranged hair.

As soon as the man saw Ewald, he bowed his head, took a bow, and came quickly. Then he read the paper in his hand.

“Dear Sir Kitsuka.”

“… Kyung?”

Ewald cut off his opponent at once. The man who was reading the paper had a puzzled look on his face, but Ebalt continued his words without giving any gaps.

“Does it say ‘Sir Kitsuka’ there?”

“… Sorry. Because I can’t remember my name…”

“No, that doesn’t matter.”

Ewald looked at the man with his eyes narrowed.

“Did you even give me a title while I was sleeping?”

“Yes?”

“Why are you so suddenly?”

I don’t know what you’re talking about.

As she hastily tried to cover her, her man lowered her head and opened her mouth to Ewald.

“… The Emperor is waiting for you.”

“Caspunde, what? Please tell me to wait.”

It was after Ewald was fully dressed in his formal attire.

“… This way.”

The young man who appeared to be an attendant held out his hand to the right side of his body and dismissed Ebalt’s words.

It’s about following me.

For an instant, Ewald felt a slight prick in his stomach. However, I thought that the people under me would do something like this because they liked it, so I started following the man in silence.

And without walking a few steps, her man’s mouth began to open.

“The Emperor wants to meet you very much. That’s why he brought you out of the dungeon of silence. The grace of His Majesty the Emperor…”

“I’m sorry, but if you say grace one more time, I’ll turn it all over.”

Ewald cut off the servant’s words at once and entered. The attendant looked back at Balt in an instant, but felt a creepy feeling on Balt’s face, which showed no emotion, and turned his head away.

“What are you talking about now…”

Even that story, Ewald cut it in the middle.

“Are you far away?”

It’s because I have a gut feeling that I won’t be able to talk to this nobleman. And fortunately her man silently bowed her head and she quickly opened her mouth.

“… We will arrive soon.”

“Thank god.”

The two of them walked for a long time through the aisles of the imperial palace. Occasionally I ran into people in the aisle, and the other side greeted me, but the attendant didn’t respond and moved on.

How far did you walk The attendant suddenly stopped walking.

“This is it.”

‘Emperor…’

After glancing at the door, Ebalt nodded and turned his gaze to the attendant. There stood an attendant with an expression that wanted to say something.

It’s an arrogant expression.

It is the face that Ewald despises the most.

Ewald, who suddenly wondered if this human needed to make such a face on himself, opened his mouth with a grin.

“Anything more to say?”

“When I see Your Majesty, I will do my best to show courtesy and loyalty, so that there is no violation of duty…”

“I’ll take care of that, so don’t worry about it.”

With those words, Ewald turned to face the door. The more I watched, the more irritated I felt, and I felt like I was about to hit it.

However, the attendant, who felt similar feelings to Ewald, asked Ewald once more.

“You shouldn’t say such disloyal words.”

“… So, I will take care of it.”

“Sir Kitsuka, it seems you have misunderstood, but it is suitable for the manners and rules of the Imperial Family…”

“Hey.”

Ebalt opened his mouth, throwing a murderous glance at the man.

“Go away.”

Even so, Ewald, who was in a state of sharpened nerves at the word emperor, turned his terrifying eyes to the attendant. The attendant, who stepped back with a momentary hee-ki sound, withdrew without looking back.

Ewald sighed lightly and looked at the door to the emperor’s room. It is an unnecessarily large door. Still, Balt knocked on the door with his fist, thinking that he should keep the minimum manners.

“Come in, Casper!”

“… Come in.”

A slightly husky voice came from inside the door. Ewald opened the door slowly after a while.

“Then excuse me.”

Ebalt pushed his body through the crack in the door. The huge door made a loud noise as it returned to its original position.

As Ewald walked toward the light with a confident step, he heard a man’s voice in his ears.

“How amazing.”

For an instant, Ewald looked at the source of the voice.

An elderly man was sitting in a chair there.

“Card… Spur?”

“It’s rude!”

One of the people lined up to the left and right of the emperor roared like that. However, Ewald stopped, staring only at the emperor.

“Frozen… Did I lose that much?”

“You really…”

The man Ewald referred to as Casper. Casper Elzenor III. The old man, the current emperor of the El Genor Empire, looked at Ebalt with a different look and then threw a word.

“It’s really the same as before.”

Ewald responded with a grin.

“I don’t know what happened, but it’s still the same as it was 27 years ago. I’d believe it even if you were in your mid-20s.”

“I know. Is it because you’ve been locked up for so long?”

You’re joking with the emperor? That alone shocked the people around the emperor. However, Ewald, who was crossing his arms in front of the emperor, was a good enough person.

“The continent’s best magic swordsman, a f*cking swordsman, a perverted wizard, what else was there? Why aren’t there grandiose nicknames, Ewald?”

“It’s no use talking about the past.”

Ewald relaxed his arms for a moment and looked at the emperor clearly with an annoyed face.

“Let’s get to the point.”

“That would be comfortable for me too.”

The emperor nodded his head. At the same time, Ewald opened his mouth ferociously.

“Why did you wake me up?”