She Returned as a Vampire

9 – I shouldn’t have let this happen in the first place

As I held my breath behind the door for a while, I couldn’t stop the tears from flowing.

“No, no… No… Not what you think…”

I wanted to go out right away and slap that son of a b*tch on the cheek and give Niel a deep kiss on the lips.

Even if she wasn’t the only vampire herself,

If only he hadn’t been a terrible sunburned monster.

She let out a silent scream as she tore at her clothes, leaving long cuts on her arms with her long nails.

If I had known he would think this way in the first place,

If only I had known that damn priest would provoke him like this,

If he had known that he would humiliate him like this,

No,

All of these were petty and useless excuses.

In the first place, no matter how reluctant Niel was to accompany him on his adventure,

I shouldn’t have let someone else fill that empty spot.

Even if it meant giving up the adventure and adapting to him, he shouldn’t be so light-hearted, and he shouldn’t have the opposite s*x by his side.

If I had only known he would be so angry, if I had only known that things would turn out this way,

No,

It was an excuse again.

“b*tch, trash – “

Jaak –

And hit his cheek hard.

His body staggered once, and then he stumbled again and hit his head hard on the floor.

“Crazy b*tch, crazy b*tch, you… You…!”

In my mind, I beat myself with his fist several times in my mind, imagined tearing off his hair, and hurt myself.

“You said you loved me, but you thought there was nothing else, how could you…!”

I really didn’t know that this would happen.

Did she really think that something like this wouldn’t hold her back?

Have you looked back at yourself for creating a situation that no one else could misunderstand, even once?

With the emotion of the moment, with the judgment of the moment,

She herself planted seeds of distrust in him.

He loved only himself passionately, and to him who was willing to embrace himself as a monster,

He has done something irreversible.

The fact made me unbearably disgusted and slapped myself on the cheek several times.

Unfortunately, the change in the body has become more rapid – The pain that had been approaching sharply was slowly subsiding before I knew it.

I thought I had bruises on my cheeks, but now I feel nothing when I feel them.

Even if he slapped it with his hand again, the cheek was intact.

“Ahhhhh…”

She slammed her head on the ground, twisting her body in shattering heart pain.

That shouldn’t be the case.

My past self did things that I shouldn’t have done in my current self’s eyes.

I kept him because he was just talented, but there were so many situations he could misunderstand-

No, it’s an excuse again.

Even if you have the ability, if you loved him, you shouldn’t have let the opposite s*x near you.

In the first place, even the seeds of misunderstanding should not have been planted.

You shouldn’t just say, ‘I understand,’ and pass it over lightly.

I had to know very well that everything comes from a single small seed.

…

Yes, he was always alone or by his side.

Even if he said he would meet the opposite s*x, it was a situation where he would only talk to other employees when he was with him.

Most of the time he is training near his house, trimming materials, sharpening knives, housework…

He really was the only one who knew himself.

If he hadn’t been himself, he’d been…

He has accumulated books and knowledge.

Books containing information about medicine and various things that could have saved him,

Cookbooks that can always make you delicious food,

A swordsmanship book to refine and improve your skills…

It was neat and chaste without a single tip.

He never hid anything from her and was always honest with her.

When he found out, he wanted to set himself on fire at any moment.

He wanted to feel the terrible burning pain he felt that day.

So the moment he put his hand on the doorknob to open the door-

He had no choice but to sit down again.

“Endless… Endlessly selfish…”

I couldn’t finish my words and burst out crying.

It hurts so much, it hurts so much,

Even if I want to scream and cry, even if I want to scream and cling to him so he can know,

He hit his head on this pain that seemed to crush his whole chest, and he exhaled and inhaled as if his lungs were about to explode.

If you get hurt, who will treat you?

Me?

Am I the one who hurts and heals?

I needed his blood to heal,

Even if he was like this, he…

He…

…That was the kind of person.

That’s also true, who wouldn’t be enough even if he grabbed his collar and dragged him out into the sunlight…

“Probably not, probably not… You’ll have to hear the story…”

Even though I cursed through the door and took my anger out on the stove, in the end I foolishly tried to trust myself.

He came and went anxiously… As he moved his steps,

While grinding my teeth,

“Okay, we should talk about it.”

Because I was trying to talk to myself while sighing.

“Whew… Hew,”

He sincerely tries to love someone who is so lacking…

He didn’t even think he was qualified to say the next word, so he erased the thought from his mind.

If he was a blue-eyed person, he would have a stuffy personality to the point of cursing him,

Indeed, being in the position of being loved by that frustrating person, he felt shame and urge.

If only I could prove it, if only I could bring out and show the emotions I feel, this hot emotion rising from the bottom of this figure…!

If only he could get a chance to repay the favor he’s been receiving since the day he became a monster…

Care him as he did, make him happy, give him bliss… Bliss…

But how?

Am I a monster?

I am the one who did this?

It was heartbreaking.

It was miserable.

It was terrible.

…And it was cheap.

When I think of all the things I’ve done so far, I have nothing to say no matter how many times I’ve gone through this kind of pain.

Before she changed, she was a terrible woman.

For a man like that, he was too out of a class, and he was a pitiful person.

Now that he knows that, he doesn’t seem to deserve to be in this house.

Favor is a parasite that absorbs all favors and only hurts him.

Worse than Parasite.

Leaning on his love, he was the devil himself who tested that love.

More than a monster, that demon from the scriptures that plays with human minds and eventually leads to destruction.

He thought he didn’t want to be torn to pieces anymore,

I just grabbed his chest and let out a sound that might be laughter or crying at this feeling that was now completely turned into powder.

I am glad that I can now feel the punishment I deserved,

Or is it that the dirty side of you that you still feel unfair about still makes you cry?

She couldn’t think properly anymore.

She

She didn’t want to think.

Despite the fact that she was already causing a lot of trouble, she didn’t want to accept the fact that it was she who was leaving him with the pain that a demon would give him.

She depended on his blood, and dared to love him, she wanted to deny the fact that she was a monster, not even a human being who didn’t deserve it.

She crawled into her mind and tore her long claws to shreds of her past self, who thought she was useful to him and that she should thank him for daring to embrace him.

Covered in her dirty blood, she stood blankly for a long time in her dark mind.

Her empty heart she filled with his blood and his image.

One by one, one by one.

I built up one by one with his smile, memories with him, his goodwill, and his kindness.

How can she repay the infinite kindness she owed him?

How can she give him the happiness she felt and this emotion as it is?

How dare I become the person who gives him happiness.

In the first place, is it possible?

No matter how much I thought about it, I couldn’t come up with a sharp number, and it felt like my heart was constantly wearing away.

“Let’s talk about it, okay… It’s only right to ask what happened that day.”

His anxious steps passed through the door, and the pain he felt rode through the ground and throbbed in his chest.

The answer to his question was already decided.

While moving through the road in the snowy weather,

She was beaten up in a cave she found after wandering on the white road for a while, away from her friends.

Every time I went on an adventure with him, I checked the place I was told to sit in advance, and I didn’t listen to him, and my hand was pierced right where I sat. Engulfed in red light and lost consciousness,

I didn’t feel anything at the time, so I thought it would be okay – but the very next day, it turned into a terrible shape.

And he was terrified and thought about it for a long time, and finally decided to rely on him.

If you ask me about my relationship with the hateful ‘parasitic brother’,

I could only give one answer.

It was the only answer, and no matter what anyone said, he risked his life and risked his only life to speak confidently.

His own naked body, body, and mind all,

It was only seen by one person and given to only one person.

And that person is none other than Niel Pietro.

So please don’t misunderstand me, please don’t be immersed in such thoughts and suffer.

You are much more precious, beautiful, and attractive than that ‘parasitic brother’.

Don’t torment yourself with false pain,

I dared to ask such a favor.

By the time I realized how difficult that request was, it had already been a long time since even the person I would resent had died in pieces in my heart.