Shinji Matou at Your Service

"Being human must be hard."

Half an hour later, in a certain globally renowned fast-food chain, Arcueid propped her chin with her hand, listlessly staring at Shinji sitting across from her. She watched him swallow a burger in three bites, and said indistinctly.

"Sorry, humans are just that troublesome. We need to eat and sleep, and we're very fragile. Yet, there are so many of us, and we have endless desires—but what can you do when you're dealing with a human?"

"Ugh, that sounds terrible."

"Exactly, humans are terrible creatures."

Shinji seemed to have choked from eating too fast, so he quickly took a few gulps of cola.

"But even terrible humans have some advantages, like creativity."

"Creativity?"

"Yes, look around you and compare it to your Castle. This is a manifestation of creativity."

Arcueid curiously observed the store, which was predominantly red and yellow and emphasized cleanliness and convenience. She thought about it for a moment and then nodded seriously.

"It looks nice. Hey, do you think it would be fun if I turned my castle into something like this?"

"Pfft~"

Shinji couldn't help it and sprayed out a mouthful of cola.

"No, absolutely not!"

With a few drops of brown liquid splashing on her face, Arcueid didn't get angry. She just asked confusedly, "Why? Isn't this good?"

"It is good, but…"

Turning the vampire's sacred origin site, the significantly meaningful Millennium Castle Brunestud, into a McDonald's would drive those ancient monsters who lived through the Age of True Ancestors insane, especially your sister Altrouge.

Of course, Shinji couldn't say such blunt truths out loud. Anyone who knew a bit about the vampire circles would be aware of the strained relationship between the Brunestud sisters.

Arcueid once had long golden hair reaching her waist, but it was cut off by Altrouge centuries ago. In retaliation, Arcueid gravely wounded Altrouge, forcing her to hide for many years. She even signed a contract with the Night of Wallachia to use his power to gather blood and recover from her injuries.

Shinji didn't answer, but Arcueid wasn't willing to give up, persistently pressing on.

"But what?"

In desperation, Shinji came up with a random excuse.

"But it doesn't fit the vampire style, at least not the image of vampires that circulates in human society."

Unexpectedly, this reason piqued Arcueid's new interest.

"Vampire style... how do you humans describe us vampires?"

"Red cape, black tuxedo, a two-thousand-square-meter castle by the sea, rows of servants, a warehouse full of jewels, sleeping from six in the morning to eight-thirty at night for beauty sleep, and waking up to a bottle of 1982 blood... Sorry, I mixed up my lines from too much work recently, let me redo it... Hmm, let me think, I remember there's a song that describes vampires."

He took another sip of cola to wet his throat and began to sing quietly.

"Vines crawling over the count's grave. The castle is desolate, with overgrown weeds in the soil. A chubby witch who can't ride a broom chants spells in Latin, la la woo, her black cat's smile looks like it's crying..."

Even after six years in this world, he still remembered the lyrics and melody clearly.

After finishing the song, sparse applause sounded around him, with some enthusiastic young people whistling and calling out Encore. Shinji wasn't surprised by such a reaction; magus accustomed to chanting spells typically had a strong sense of rhythm and melody. Coupled with his clear, unbroken voice and the retro British style tune, good reviews were inevitable. The only downside was the Japanese lyrics that the Romanians couldn't understand.

Yes, Romania.

The coupling point of the Millennium Castle and the real world was located within Romania, making it a fitting origin for vampires. The Millennia family's castle, Milenia, had a name almost identical to the Millennium Castle, whether by coincidence or design. It was a pity for the one-time fame of Vlad III.

If given the chance, Shinji would find a way to fulfill his wish, to repay the noble phantasm he had been granted.

With these thoughts, Shinji crossed his hands, palms together, and gently rubbed. When he opened them, there was already a finger-length, millimeter-thick iron stake, precisely a miniature pile summoned by the Kazikli Bey.

Shinji with the noble phantasm closely related to vampire legends while listening to the vampire princess's thoughts on the lyrics.

The Romanians couldn't understand Japanese, but Arcueid could. She could read not only memories from the world but also various recorded knowledge, including languages. If she wished, she could become the world's best translator at any time.

"Vampires really should live in ancient castles. But desolation and weeds feel weird. Many vampires consider themselves nobles and usually keep some servants to clean the castle. Could it be because they've been asleep for too long?"

"Many Dead Apostles are transformed through magical rituals by magus. The witch you mentioned is probably one of them. The black cat is familiar. Speaking of which, I also have a familiar that looks like a black cat."

"Werewolves, bats, and pigs result from using beast factors to supplement their bodies. Ancient Dead Apostles can all do this. But what's with reciting the Gospel of John before drinking blood? Isn't the Church opposed to vampires?"

"And that Princess Catherine, eating old male rats is one thing, but why AB blood type? Are there rats with AB blood type?"

"Hey, hey, are you listening to me?"

"I'm listening."

Shinji squinted his eyes, twirling the miniature iron stake in his hand faster and faster.

"Then answer my question."

"What question?"

"I knew you weren't listening."

Arcueid hummed in dissatisfaction, her left hand darting out like lightning to snatch the annoying miniature iron stake.

How could Shinji let her succeed? With a deft maneuver, he shifted it from his left hand to his right hand, all while not forgetting to answer her.

"I already told you, that's a common perception, a product of human imagination and creativity—taking it seriously means you've lost."

"I won't lose!"

Seeing that one hand couldn't win against Shinji, Arcueid used both hands. Unfortunately, in this kind of trickery, she wasn't Shinji's match. After dozens of tries, she still couldn't get what she wanted.

At this moment, applause and whistles sounded again from around them, clearly taking the playful tussle between the two as a performance.

Hearing the support from others, Arcueid became even more enthusiastic. She planted both hands on the dining table and then—

The table collapsed.