Solo For Two

After finishing their meal and returning to their room, Karel summoned the butler once more to remove all the liquor bottles from the room. This was done while Sasha was in the shower.Without even sitting down, Karel announced he had an appointment and left abruptly.Despite the neat and vintage hotel room and the familiar night streets of Palz visible outside the window, Sasha felt melancholic.This trip was meant to be a getaway for the two of them, away from Karel’s fiancée’s shadow. While Sasha wasn’t sure what Karel thought, this was Sasha’s perspective. However, it saddened Sasha to spend the first night without Karel.Lying in bed early, Sasha was soon overwhelmed by thoughts. When alone, distressing thoughts often occupied Sasha’s mind.Levin’s words encapsulated this anxiety perfectly.A relationship with no future.Karel returned to the room just before 2 AM.Sasha, lying on the bed with the lights still on, was wide awake. Karel, who returned without a greeting, didn’t look tired at all, despite the long journey and being awake until dawn.He was carrying a long, narrow paper box in his arms. Sasha quickly realized it was a wine bottle.Noticing what Sasha was looking at, Karel smirked and handed the bottle to Sasha.“A gift?”“Yes.”Sasha unwrapped the crinkling paper bag. The wine was a Burgundy Rouge, a type they often had with meals. It wasn’t the kind of drink one would usually have at night. Sasha felt disappointed rather than pleased with the gift from someone who usually insisted on not drinking.Nevertheless, Sasha forced out a thank you.“Thank you.”Karel didn’t respond.Sasha observed Karel’s back carefully. His legs were firmly planted on the ground, but his hands moved noticeably slower. Perhaps Karel was slightly drunk.Thinking this, Sasha’s disappointment eased a bit. Karel disliked Sasha drinking, but Sasha liked Karel when he was drunk because his affection increased, and his touch felt warm.Sasha, looking at Karel’s back, asked something that had been on his mind.“Karel, should we visit our old house tomorrow?”Karel, unbuttoning his watch, stopped moving and didn’t respond. Sensing something in the silence, Sasha hastily added,“We don’t have to…. I just thought of it since we’re here in Palz.”“Sorry, I don’t know if I’ll have time. My schedule is tight.”Realizing the indirect refusal, Sasha nodded.Even after Sasha buried himself under the covers again, Karel wandered around the room, seemingly indifferent to Sasha’s desire for him to finish his preparations for bed and join him.“Karel.”Sasha asked quietly.“I’ve been thinking about sacrifice.”At the unexpected words, Karel finally turned his gaze to Sasha.“While I was gone?”“Yes.”Understanding that Sasha wanted to talk, Karel finally approached the bedside.“I think sacrifice has many meanings, but it’s close to waiting.”“Waiting?”“Like… waiting for you tonight when you went out drinking alone even though we’re here in Palz.”Reading the reproach beneath Sasha’s calm expression, Karel chuckled.“I told you, I went to meet a business contact.”“I’m a bother, right?”Sasha sat up.Without responding, Karel just smiled at Sasha. Thinking about sacrifice and claiming he ‘waited’ from a subjective perspective was somewhat…Karel stared intently at Sasha’s face.While Karel found Sasha’s selfishness ‘cute,’ Sasha interpreted the look differently, growing increasingly uneasy and starting to reflect on his perceived mistakes.“I may not know much about business… but I know a bit about wine. You know how much I used to drink.”“Yeah, and?”“If I was a bother, you could have just told me not to say anything.”“And then?”“Then I would have stayed quietly beside you….”Sasha stopped himself from questioning further, as Karel was silently looking at him, understanding that Sasha was indirectly complaining about not being taken along.Karel found Sasha’s ignorance of the dangerous situation and his subsequent reproach endearing. However, having been on edge during the earlier meeting and unable to tell Sasha the truth, he remained silent.Sasha, misinterpreting Karel’s look, hastily apologized.“I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to argue.”“It’s good to be honest. Go on.”Sasha, gauging Karel’s reaction, spoke softly.“I said I’m sorry.”“Hmm…”When Karel crossed his arms and tilted his head, Sasha conceded.“Alright. I won’t complain about you not taking me along.”Then, Sasha cautiously asked,“You don’t think I’m a bother, do you?”“Of course not.”“You think bringing me to Palz was a mistake, don’t you?”“No way.”Karel replied promptly and stood up. As Karel walked back to the wardrobe to hang his jacket and vest, Sasha grew increasingly anxious.Unaware or indifferent to Sasha’s anxiety, Karel leisurely undressed his shirt in front of Sasha. As Karel’s long arms slipped out of the sleeves, a rich musk scent filled the room. Sasha gulped involuntarily. Karel neatly hung his shirt on a hanger, his shoulder muscles moving subtly with each small movement.Sasha held his breath, mesmerized by Karel’s well-maintained physique, so different from his own.However, Karel, ignoring Sasha’s longing gaze, headed straight for the bathroom. The moment the door shut, Sasha collapsed back onto the mattress.How did Karel feel watching Sasha, who once refused to share the same bed because of the smell from Karel’s body from the slaughterhouse?Staring at the ceiling, Sasha pondered silently.‘Loving someone more than they love you is really difficult.’After a while.Karel emerged from the bathroom, drenched in the fresh scents of cologne and water. Seeing him in his robe, Sasha mumbled again while lying on his side.“Karel.”Sasha spoke with hesitation.“I’ve been thinking about sacrifice again.”“Really?”Karel responded, smiling inwardly. Sasha, eagerly waiting for Karel to join him in bed, often said many cute things when kept waiting.“Yes… I think sacrifice is indeed another word for waiting.”“I agree.”“So, when you asked me if I could sacrifice for you, it’s obvious. Because before the war…”‘The war.’Sasha’s mention of their past separation made Karel pause for a moment, turning his back.“If I hadn’t left that way, if I knew how to wait.”Sasha continued speaking more calmly than expected.“You wouldn’t have been hurt, right?”“……”“Then I wouldn’t have anything to regret.”Karel turned to look back.Sasha lay with the wine Karel had brought as a gift placed on the bedside table. The wrapping was neatly removed, and the label faced Sasha.For Karel, it was a gift he couldn’t refuse from the colonel, but Sasha seemed to try to decipher its meaning. Karel felt an indescribable sympathy for Sasha.Karel approached the bed and looked down at Sasha’s face.Sasha’s eyes were glistening with tears.“So this time, I’ll wait patiently.”For what?Karel leaned down, gently caressing Sasha’s tear-streaked eyes with his thumb.“Until you marry a beautiful lady, have a child who looks just like you… and one day, far in the future, return to me.”Sasha’s glossy black eyes stared straight at Karel.The desperate confession made Karel’s heart pound fiercely.Karel stroked Sasha’s hair, intending to kiss the tears from Sasha’s eyes. But Sasha turned away, burying his face in the pillow. The sobs that erupted from Sasha’s throat, muffled by the pillow, barely escaped.‘Sasha, that’s a vow I want to make.’Karel stroked Sasha’s back, overwhelmed by indescribable joy, eerie delight, and a searing, wrenching ache.Sasha’s despairing confession became a hope for Karel to endure the present.Imagining a future where Sasha would understand today’s misunderstandings, Karel swallowed the confession rising in his throat.＊ ＊ ＊A few hours earlier.The colonel did not broach the main topic until the third bottle of wine was opened. He behaved as though he was the owner of a winery. Karel had to engage in a tedious conversation about the wine’s acidity, body, and aroma, matching the colonel’s talk.Only after all the bottles were emptied did the colonel bring up a ‘personal’ matter. It seemed his method was to get someone tipsy enough to make them confess.‘You’re engaged to a French noblewoman, I hear.’‘Yes, that’s correct.’It was a rumor widespread even across the borders. It wasn’t odd to bring it up since that was the reason for the meeting. However.‘But you’re traveling with a male lover on this trip, aren’t you?’The next words were unexpected.The moment the colonel mentioned Sasha, Karel’s lips stiffened slightly.Sasha was already a famous figure across the continent, having fled to Paris to escape the war. Ultimately, he proved his worth in freedom. Other countries were certainly aware of his symbolic significance. Even though Karel thought they wouldn’t dare harm or tarnish Sasha, he couldn’t shake an inexplicable sense of unease.‘He was very upset about my marriage.’Because this was the truth, Karel could speak calmly without showing any anxiety.‘In that case, all the more reason for you to settle down now, isn’t it?’The colonel leaned forward as he asked. Noticing that the colonel was about to make a discreet proposal, Karel smiled and shook his head. It wasn’t good to show weakness.‘Settling down is still far off. And…’‘And?’‘I will end my relationship with my mistress before marriage.’‘…Indeed.’The colonel spoke with a generous smile on his face.‘So, you’re saying you’ll stop living a double life?’Karel didn’t answer hastily. Instead, he quietly looked into the old colonel’s eyes. It was clear that by ‘government,’ he meant France.Karel spoke softly.‘How could I keep both a wife and a mistress? It would be a betrayal to both. Of course, I must end it. It’s time to stop living a double life.’At that moment, Karel realized why the Austrian National Security Bureau had called him.The colonel’s homeland was ordering Karel to stop being a ‘double agent’ and to fully return.정부 means both mistress and government. So, in conclusion, Karel wants to stop being a double agent in both his marriage and in between two countries. I kept government in the last sentences because he meant France in that context.