Surviving as a Useless Bard in a Game

---

I returned from the quest.

A platinum adventurer, the Empire’s sword, Framea.

What an incredible person she was.

A cheerful personality, somewhat lacking intelligence, considerable strength—not quite strong enough to be the best… but enough to hold her own.

She faced a giant and flew into the air for a second strike.

It was a dazzling scene, just like something from a movie or a comic.

Skylar looked at me, who had an expression of a girl in love, with a frown.

“Selina, do you really like that guy so much? Enough to decide to enter the music contest on the spot? Without consulting me?”

“…Well, I wanted to participate in the music contest even before I saw him. No matter what.”

“Hah… Seriously.”

There was something strange mixed in Skylar’s emotions.

At first, I thought it was disappointment or some other negative emotion, but the more I looked, the more it felt reminiscent of a certain emotion I had seen before.

‘Yeah… where have I felt this? It’s a familiar feeling.’

—Osidens.

Suddenly, Skylar’s sister’s name flitted through my mind.

What did I define the emotion she had when I saw Osidens?

‘Jealousy.’

Right. Skylar was harboring that emotion right now. Just like Osidens!

Now that I realized what kind of emotion Skylar had, it was time to find out why. Why was Skylar feeling jealous?

‘…Could it be?’

As I reflected on what Skylar had said.

She clearly asked… “Do you really like that guy?” So… right now, Skylar is jealous of Framea!

Because I had shown excessive interest in Framea…!

“Hehe…”

“Selina, can you do something about that creepy laugh?”

“I just discovered something really amazing.”

“What is it?”

“I can’t tell you!”

Skylar frowned and turned his face away from me.

Outwardly, he acted like he didn’t want to have a meaningless argument with me anymore, but knowing his true feelings only made me want to laugh.

I had almost forgotten, but my charm value was 8.

Thanks to my perfect customization skills, my appearance was at a perfect level, and I had never seen a woman prettier than me.

It didn’t mean I was a woman… but one thing was clear: I definitely had a striking appearance that wouldn’t fall behind anyone else.

Then, what kind of jealousy was Skylar feeling?

Osidens definitely felt like affection. It had an extremely clingy and strong attachment that couldn’t be classified as familial love. It was unpleasant.

However, the jealousy Skylar felt towards me and Framea was directed differently.

Familial love, comradeship, obsession, love-hate—none of that.

A little more pure, a little more heart-racing.

…Heterosexuality.

One concept flashed through my mind. But I wanted to personally deny it. Unrequited love was something I despised.

My identity as a bard praised unrequited love as an excellent subject and an attractive story, but my identity as a man was opposing it.

Yeah. I was vehemently opposed.

‘And it’s not even certain that Skylar harbors heterosexuality yet.’

What a premature assumption.

Isn’t this too ugly?

And can I really be sure that those feelings are genuine? Even knowing what kind of power my eyes hold?

Let’s hold off.

Time passed meaninglessly, and evening was approaching.

I casually had lunch in my room. Fortunately, I had prepared enough food in my bag for two people, so I wasn’t disappointed.

Sunlight streamed in through the window. Well, nothing special, it had been coming in all day.

Shall I persuade him now?

“Skylar.”

“Yes.”

“I’m sorry for repeating the same thing three times, but I want to enter the music contest.”

“…How are you going to hide your eyes? How will you deal with the ‘clumsy’ curse and ‘narcolepsy’?”

“I’ll manage somehow.”

“That’s not something to brush off. If there’s even a slim chance it could happen, it’s better to avoid it. Even someone with my poor intelligence can understand that.”

“Getting into danger is a low probability. In other words, it means there’s a high probability of safety.”

“…Selina, how will you deal with your eyes? You’re still clumsy at controlling magic. You’ve already redone the scrolls several times.”

“Let’s go boldly.”

“Excuse me?”

“It’s a shift in thinking. If I just flaunt my pink eyes, wouldn’t people think it’s too outrageous to be true?”

“…Are you insane?”

“Sorry.”

Looking back at my idea, it was a bit far-fetched.

Hmm… how should I persuade him?

If I can’t guarantee 100% safety, Skylar will keep blocking my choice.

There was also the option to manipulate the status window or use dice to force him to follow my lead, but…

‘I don’t want to do that.’

To save my life, provide information, and after traveling together until now to do such a thing just for a ‘singing contest,’ it’s better not to use it.

Stubbornness has its time and place.

No matter how poor my intelligence was or how much I wanted to enter the music contest, there had to be some common sense.

“…Fine, I understand.”

“Hmm?”

“I said I understand. If I keep rejecting it, you’ll just keep bringing it up until I accept. So I’m saying I understand. Do as you please.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Since this is how it turned out, you can also go ahead with that ‘getting famous’ plan as you wish.”

Wait… this isn’t acceptance. I wasn’t persuaded.

I just kept whining and repeating myself all day. Skylar has entered a state of giving up. He’s mad!

He got so angry that he reached the ‘Fine, do as you wish’ phase.

This definitely shouldn’t be interpreted as a positive signal. It’s more appropriate to interpret it as a negative sign.

‘What should I do?’

Since Skylar has reacted this way, there was an option to play dumb and nonchalantly go along.

However, in this case, Skylar could… get angrier. To be more precise, it might be that our relationship could sour to an irreparable extent.

“Skylar. I’m sorry.”

“Why? Didn’t I say to do as you please?”

“I’m sorry. I was trying to do whatever I wanted.”

“…Alright. It seems like you at least know what you did wrong.”

“I know. I know! But I genuinely wanted to participate in the music contest. I knew it was dangerous and that I shouldn’t be doing it…”

“…Hah.”

Skylar let out a deep sigh.

And then, he fell into contemplation.

He bowed his head, his hands clasped together as if in prayer, and he remained silent for a long time.

I didn’t bother to check beneath his lowered head, but I had the feeling he was probably keeping his eyes closed.

—A long moment passed.

Though I said ‘long,’ it was at most a minute of time. That brief moment felt way too long for me.

Skylar lifted his head. And then, he looked into my eyes.

“Alright. Let’s do it this way.”

He began to explain his plan to me.

***

In the most expensive room of the Adventurer’s Guild, the screams of a woman were heard, but no one could talk about that subject. Or rather, they thought they shouldn’t.

Because the two people renting that room were… an adult woman and a young boy.

Until the date of the Empire’s Music Contest approached, those two were nowhere to be seen.

In other words, they hadn’t left the room.

Just how long…!

—This is what the adventurers of the Adventurer’s Guild thought. But that was their misunderstanding.

“…This mask really works.”

“I put my heart into making it, you know?”

“How many scrolls did you use?”

“…Don’t ask. It’s a painful loss.”

“Yeah.”

On the ridiculous white mask, three crescent-shaped holes were drilled in the eye and mouth areas, and it looked somewhat like a smiling clown’s face.

It was the mask that Skylar and I were currently wearing.

–

An ancient wizard’s masterpiece that had reached a certain level.

[Smiling Crescent Moon Mask]

Makes those with the names ‘Selina’ and ‘Skylar’ hard to recall or associate with.

Used scrolls: —.

Estimated value: — dukats.

Due to an excessive amount of engravings and circuits, it seemed likely to break down over time.

That’s why ‘permanent magical tools’ are expensive.

–

The status window began displaying unsolicited information.

This mask made by Skylar had consumed ‘a very considerable amount’ of scrolls, and it had more than five engravings and circuits etched on it.

It was a mask that omitted the functions of raising statuses, aiding in combat, or providing general assistance in life… and contained only the functions we needed.

Simply, it distorted thoughts to ensure that others could not recall any specific terms associated with the person wearing the mask.

In other words, it means that no one could associate the two adventurers, Selina and Skylar.

It wasn’t just limited to words; it distorted nearly all thoughts that conceptually connected to those words. Thoughts like ‘that adventurer’ became impossible.

‘I want to ask how someone could create such a magical tool so easily, but Skylar said that if you have money, you can do anything with scrolls.’

…Just how much did it cost?

Of course, there were drawbacks.

A somewhat critical downside was that anyone who was at least a Gold Badge level adventurer could easily figure it out.

‘I even brushed my hair to lower the chance of being recognized a little more… I thought I was going to die from the pain.’

In the end, I couldn’t fully hide my hair.

I asked if I couldn’t just change my clothes instead of my hair, but they said that in terms of magic, one’s body and clothing are irrelevant.

Anyway, just like that… we were able to participate in the Empire’s Music Contest!