Chapter 23: Alleyway
A few days went by without a big deal.
I was able to control my sexual desire to some extent.
Nothing else,
⋯That, the sensation of ejaculating with the chest was too imprinted.
I didn't react well to anything.
There was nothing awkward or embarrassing about it.
Because that much has already passed.
Of course, I was very embarrassed to see the condition of the car the next morning.
⋯If you got caught by your mother, it would have been really over.
I picked up all the garbage and boxes and threw them in the trash can outside.
⋯ Ha.
It's really dangerous.
It's not strange no matter when it takes.
⋯Why did this happen?
Obviously, it's a very serious problem.
I was thinking about thinking about it for a while.
It's true that I love winter,
It is also true that I feel sexual excitement for Gyeolgi.
But liking your sister in a rational sense is another matter.
Dating, or
Or after that,
Or the gaze of the surroundings.
⋯What should I explain to other family members?
There are not just one or two mountains to overcome.
I was trying to find an answer on my own.
⋯It seems that it is already ruined.
It's too late to have come all the way here.
"⋯Brother?"
"Uh, why?"
"Because you don't look good."
"⋯I'm thinking about what to eat for dinner."
"I don't really care."
"⋯ Then if I go to eat soup, will you eat it?"
"It's delicious, rice soup."
"⋯Let's go eat kalguksu."
Why am I thinking alone
I feel like I'm suffering alone.
Why does he look like he has no idea?
⋯ Is this such a simple matter?
"⋯Brother."
"Why."
"He… Are you worried these days?"
"There is."
"Oh, really…?"
"⋯Who do you think it is?"
"⋯."
⋯What.
To be honest, I don't want to make students worry like this.
Still… I hope you restrain yourself a bit.
I don't want to be swayed by sexual desire and misjudgement.
***
I parked my car in the parking lot on the first floor of my house and stopped by a nearby kalguksu restaurant.
The dumplings here are delicious.
It's Kalguksu, it's harder to be tasteless.
It's always a different feeling to come to the store directly after having it delivered.
"Should I just order a plate of dumplings with Kalguksu?"
"Oh, I want to eat dumpling soup."
"⋯Really?"
"I had spaghetti for lunch."
"Then why didn't you ask to go somewhere else?"
"Anyway, this is the most delicious place near my house."
"Well, like the restaurant I went to last time, you know."
"There's pasta there, too."
"⋯That's right."
I ended up ordering one of each.
While staring blankly at each other's side faces,
Faces that I seem to see often these days came into the store.
⋯I can't recognize you even if I wear a mask, now.
"Uh? Winter?"
"⋯ Autumn? That's right?"
"Ah… It's Nara."
"⋯."
Shin's sisters walked this way.
⋯ These people are a bit uncomfortable.
"Oh, can I join you?"
"⋯."
"⋯?"
"⋯Sister. That…"
"Ah… It's okay. Sit."
Winter pointed to the chair across from us without notice.
⋯No, you can do that because you have friends.
I mean, I'm a stranger to both.
Look, you're talking to me right away.
"Dating with siblings?"
"Uh."
"⋯ Oh, really?"
"If you eat dinner with your brother, it's a date."
"Are you not eating with your girlfriend?"
"⋯Didn't I say I didn't have a girlfriend the other day?"
"Ah, it was. Not yet."
In contrast to the face of the motive who took off the mask and smiled ahaha,
Winter's friend's pupils lost their way and began to wander.
⋯ Why are you like that?
"Nara, ⋯ is there something uncomfortable?"
"Uh? No no. Doesn't exist."
"⋯Really?"
"Huh. Oh, I'll wash my hands for a minute."
Seeing her shaking her head, waving her hand, and running away to the bathroom confirmed her suspicions.
⋯I don't know why.
"⋯Winter."
"Why, brother."
"Why is your friend like that?"
"⋯I don't know."
I whispered a question to Winter, but I couldn't figure out the answer.
I don't know.
It's none of my business anyway.
***
"So, does autumn take you to and from school in winter?"
"⋯Is it weird?"
"Huh."
While waiting for my order, I answered nervously to my comrade who was constantly talking to me.
⋯ However, he is still a friend who is at his own pace.
That's why the code doesn't match.
I can't do that to someone I'm not close to.
"Still, it's nice to see that the siblings are good. I kind of longed for that."
"Your sisters look good too."
"Sisters are easy to get along with. Brothers and sisters basically have different genders. What is your interest, what is it, they are all different. I don't know because I don't have an older brother or younger brother."
"⋯Well, we're not really close because we have similar interests."
"Okay? Then how did you become friends?"
"⋯Not that I can tell you."
"What? Suspiciously."
I drew a line to my motives who were inquisitive.
⋯How do you say that?
The moment rumors spread about the school, you should be expelled.
I can't go to the army because I'm in the military.
"Then winter. How did you and your brother become friends?"
"Oh, that… Me?"
"Huh."
"Eh, because you're trustworthy?"
"What are you so ashamed of? Things like that happen, too."
"No matter what… In front of the person concerned…"
"Totally a girl, a girl. It's country Watch and learn something like that. You should get a boyfriend when you go to college."
"⋯That, sister."
"Huh."
"⋯No."
"What is it, Curious Siri."
⋯ Get dizzy
How come the audio isn't empty?
Wasn't winter quite a noisy friend?
I was completely overpowered.
"What is autumn doing these days?"
"Work out."
"Come to think of it, I think I've gotten a little bigger."
"⋯You know how many times you've seen it?"
"It's just a feeling. Are you trying to look good for your girlfriend?"
"⋯I think I've said several times that I don't have a girlfriend."
"Yes, yes. No girlfriend A female friend or a girl?"
"Why are you so interested in other people's love stories?"
"You were famous."
"⋯What?"
"The boy who seems like there's no way he doesn't have a girlfriend isn't interested in anyone at all."
"⋯Me?"
"There were even rumors that she likes men."
"Does that make sense?"
"Honestly, I almost believed it halfway, but the last time I saw it, I knew it wasn't."
"⋯You know that's a bit rude?"
"Ahaha, sorry. Since we're friends, can't we watch it?"
"⋯."
Before I knew it, we had already become friends.
⋯I wonder how he manages to talk so well in this atmosphere.
Look.
Even in winter, the expression is serious,
I'm feeling down now too
Winter's friend is also trembling,
⋯But why is he really like that?
"Oh, the food is out."
"⋯Let's eat first."
Fortunately, when the noodles came out, it became quiet for a while.
⋯After eating, it became noisy again.
***
I wanted to run away, but I was kidnapped at a cafe with a winter set.
⋯ Judging from the expression, it seems that Winter's friend has also been kidnapped.
Are these the qualities of a leader?
I also think it would be comfortable to roll as an accessory of society.
"Brother. I'll wash my hands for a minute."
"Ah, me too."
I grabbed Winter who was trying to run away and left for the bathroom together.
⋯I'm sorry.
Because my brother is a weak person who lacks a pulpit.
As I was leisurely drinking the melted ice, one of the remaining people started talking to me.
⋯Why are there so many people talking to you today?
"⋯Brother."
"Uh."
"⋯I'm sorry, because of you."
"Uh? No no. It's not like that."
"⋯That, maybe. How is winter… At home?"
"⋯What?"
"⋯Are you okay?"
"I'm fine. What, are you having a hard time at school?"
"No… That's not it… I was wondering if he was pretending to be normal or if he was really okay…"
Was there anything that Winter could be having a hard time with?
⋯ Uh.
Ah.
"⋯ Is that?"
"Yes?"
"The last time I saw it at the bookstore. Then you called Winter."
"⋯That, did Winter say that?"
"Uh…"
⋯ Huh?
Um⋯.
Come to think of it,
Why did he tell Winter?
That I might have a girlfriend.
"Well, could you possibly know what Winter said?"
"⋯I didn't say much."
"⋯Really?"
"Let's ask the other way around. Why did you tell Winter?"
"That… I can't say it my way."
"⋯What did Winter say about me?"
"⋯."
Ah,
Driving me crazy.
What are you going to do if you just say this to someone else?
"⋯Did you ask Winter first?"
"⋯I'm just a little worried."
"Did Winter give you an answer?"
"⋯Yes."
"⋯What do you say?"
"⋯If you say it, Winter gets angry."
"⋯It's done."
I stopped interrogating him because it seemed like he was bullying a kid for no reason.
⋯ Why is that, really.
As I was awkwardly chewing on a coffee straw, my motives with Winter came back.
"Winter. Let's go."
"Uh, brother?"
"Let's go."
"What, are you going already?"
"We have a curfew at our house. You have to go in slowly."
"Okay? So what, bye. It was fun. See you later."
"Yeah, you guys are going in as well."
I took the returned winter and got out of the cafe.
⋯If I had known it was this easy, I would have gotten out of it long ago.
When I came out, the sun was going down, so the wind was quite fierce.
She hurriedly put on her mask and entered the corner of the alley.
"Winter."
"Why, brother."
"⋯Did you tell your friend about us?"
"⋯What?"
"I was asking if you were okay. Your friend."
"⋯."
"How far have you been?"
"⋯Just, in moderation. Not all."
"Why?"
"I keep worrying because you don't talk."
"⋯But it's not a part where you can tell others about it."
"⋯Which part?"
"What?"
"What are you not supposed to say?"
Wintery retorted to me in a determined voice.
⋯ Which part?
No, that's too obvious.
It shouldn't be heard by anyone.
"⋯You and me and things like that."
"⋯I didn't say that."
"Then what did you say?"
"I can't say that."
"Why."
"⋯Because I haven't heard from you yet."
"What?"
"⋯."
Winter tried to say something, but soon gave up.
"What is it? Say it."
"I knew you would. That… When you're blindfolded."
"⋯What?"
"⋯That…"
No,
You said you didn't
"What."
"⋯I can't talk."
"Why."
"⋯I can't say that."
"⋯Why are you like this today?"
"⋯Oh, really!"
Winter, who lowered his head and could not meet his gaze,
He immediately lost his temper and started looking straight into my eyes.
"Why didn't you?"
"What?"
"⋯Kiss."
⋯ Huh?
"⋯If I were like that…I knew my brother would do it."
"⋯."
"But all of a sudden, I only touch my body… He even does weird things…"
"⋯ Hey."
"It's not that I didn't like it… But there is such a thing as order."
"Winter."
"⋯I didn't even say anything to Nara. It's just… I just said that I did it on my own and then gave up."
"⋯What if I lie to my friend?"
"⋯I'm already lying to my mother, what."
"Do I have to take it out of my mouth?"
"I know."
We laughed at each other because we were dumbfounded.
⋯Really.
Ah.
Ruined.
Life is ruined
How the hell does this
Do you see me as a younger brother?
"⋯Winter."
"Yes."
"What do you do in that situation? To my sister who pretends to sleep."
"…Can I do that to my sister who pretends to sleep?"
"There is such a thing as atmosphere."
"⋯What kind of atmosphere?"
"⋯Take off your mask."
Her ears turned red, and only her eyeballs rolled back and forth, so I pulled up her mask and put it over her eyes.
⋯Ah, I didn't have this taste.
It's all because of you
"⋯Brother. I can not see."
"It's normal to close your eyes anyway."
"⋯."
"⋯Ha."
I also took off my mask.
⋯ My heart feels like it's going to explode.
What to do, it hasn't been long since I've eaten.
I also drank coffee.
"⋯Brother?"
"Brother?"
"⋯Ah."
After a while, Winter called my name.
⋯ But I am a person who keeps promises.
When she asked again, as if she realized something, she licked her lips for a moment.
And then
I pursed my lips silently,
After extending it to the side, I attached it and took it off.
"⋯."
I bent my legs slightly.
I didn't know where to put my hands, but it seems that winter is the same.
They clasped their hands together, looking anxious.
I approached the place where my breath directly touched me.
It was much warmer than the air outside.
I covered my face a bit more.
The shadows reflected in the setting sun seemed to be one.
I closed my eyes.
Not obnoxious,
Lightly.
They only touched their lips.
It tasted like syrup.
Then, the smell of hazelnuts stung my nose.
⋯Ah.
So sweet,
Don't want to fall
Time has stopped.
I can't even hear it.
Vibration of the heart,
The tenderness of lips touching each other,
Only the body temperature you feel in your clasped hands,
It made me aware that the world didn't stop.
"⋯."
"⋯Winter."
Fell for a while
I was very curious about what kind of eyes he would have.
Take off the mask,
⋯It was a pupil I had seen once before.
After watching for a while, I closed my eyes again.
Once more,
Overlapped lips.
I'm glad I came to the cafe.
It would be strange if the first kiss tasted like kalguksu or dumplings.
The sweetness I feel,
The bitterness you feel,
Either way.
It wouldn't have been too bad.
After a while, I felt a cold wind before I knew it.
The beating of his heart became more and more comfortable.
The sweat from his hands was slowly drying up.
Still, it was warm.
Hear footsteps.
The sound of people passing by outside the alley.
What do you think when you see us?
Couple?
Married couple?
What is certain is that they are not siblings.
He fell again and took a breath.
⋯ Only the lips are visible.
A thirst that cannot be satisfied no matter how much you crave it.
I think I drank sea water.
"⋯Brother."
"Yes."
"⋯Let's go back. To home."
"⋯That's right."
I untied my clenched hands.
I also put the mask on again.
Side by side, we walked down the street at night when the sun had set.
We talked about this and that and headed home.
Each other,
With the little finger crossed.