Suspiciously Close Siblings (Going Up)

After we finally hugged each other, I wasn't too embarrassed.

I didn't hug you in that sense.

Because I'm a coward and a coward.

I didn't want to reveal my inner feelings to people I knew.

The determination to give up and run,

Couldn't do it in the end

Still, I did almost everything I wanted to say.

Within the framework of siblings,

If each other is the most important

Satisfied with it

At least I thought so.

The way back to the car wasn't that quiet.

Because it's a happy day

I was able to laugh and talk even with unprofessional stories.

After discussing what to eat for dinner, the conclusion that came to the conclusion was chicken again.

Well… It's Korean soul food, so I can't help it.

Actually, it doesn't really matter what you eat.

Because it matters who you eat with and when.

Back at the parking lot, I sent my brother up first.

After ordering the chicken, I pondered for a moment whether I should call all over the place.

However, I thought it would be right for me to do it myself, so I called only her mother.

I went up to the house after being told to eat dinner quickly.

In the meantime, she changed into her dressing gown and left her brother on the phone, carrying only her clothes and heading to the bathroom.

After washing every nook and cranny, the table was set in front of the TV before I knew it.

"What, is the chicken already here?"

"Huh."

"⋯Where did you get the beer again?"

"There's some leftovers in the fridge."

"Drink to drink. It's because I bought it the other day and left it behind."

"⋯ Oppa doesn't drink?"

"To quit."

"Haven't you done that before?"

"I'm really going to quit this time."

Instead, I took a Coke from the refrigerator.

Sitting across from her brother, each took a can.

"Cheers?"

"Cheers."

Before the modest table setting, they bumped into each other over cola and beer.

After a light bite, I enjoyed the texture of the crispy batter and the gravy of the tender, moist flesh.

This is life

Eat something delicious,

Relax at home,

Sometimes her family hangs out here and there.

That's it.

Now I just need to earn a living.

"Winter."

"Huh."

"Drinking. The exam is over, and I'm drinking at home, so I'm turning a blind eye to it, right?"

"Huh."

"If you can, don't drink outside."

"Aren't you supposed to drink when you go to college?"

"Don't drink under any excuse. If you want to drink, drink with me or mom. Or my older sister."

"⋯It's overprotective."

"It's overprotective, so don't drink with others."

"Anyway, I'm shy, so I don't like that kind of thing. You don't have to worry."

"Yes, just in the corner of the room as usual. Because I did too."

"⋯So I don't have any friends."

"More than you."

They fought back and forth, and it ended in a draw.

After all, when it comes to talking about friends… There's nothing really good about each other.

Two or three

At most, my parents passed on a fine body.

It makes me very sorry to see that both of them can count their friends on one hand.

I'm sorry, Mom.

Because the affinity with the children is too lacking.

Still, wouldn't it be nice to have less expenses for congratulations and condolences?

"⋯It's really over. I'm slowly realizing it. You don't have to study for the CSAT anymore."

"Don't worry, you will have to go through something even more difficult when you go to college."

"Can't you let me have some fun today?"

"If you think about how much I took care of you, you might make fun of me."

"⋯It's too much."

"Uh… How was the credit check?"

"I think I saw a little better than in September. Not a lot."

"It's a shame. I wish I could have looked a little better."

"Okay, I'm satisfied with this."

Seeing him grabbing a beer can with both hands and sipping makes me want a drink too.

⋯ But I will never drink.

At least when I'm with my brother, I don't drink with him even if he dies.

I'm going to quit, really.

"Where are you going to college?"

"First of all, you will know when your grades come out, but… I think it will be difficult to go to Gwanak. Anam or Sinchon?"

"⋯Come to our college?"

"Well? Think about it."

"I don't know if you know, but just because you come to Sinchon doesn't mean you go to Sinchon right away."

"Why?"

"If you come, you will be exiled to Songdo."

"⋯Is that so?"

"No, you lived in Songdo when you were in the first year of high school. I do not remember?"

"⋯Did you live in Song too?"

"⋯Didn't you know?"

"I thought I was living in a dormitory, but until then…"

"I'm not sure what will happen because of the pandemic… Anyway, if you can, you should go to Songdo."

"How are you doing there?"

"⋯You must have a hard time living. It just doesn't suit us."

"Ah… It feels a bit noisy?"

"Uh."

Everyone had a good time.

I've been thinking about whether I should do half or not, and I'm a little bit, ruined.

I tried to restore some of the relationships that were ruined in the second semester, but it was difficult.

I prepared for the college entrance exam in the army because I didn't want to do it, but even that failed, so I gave up.

I don't have to live in a dorm anyway.

In Songdo, it was not a single room, but it seemed like I was going crazy.

Even when I was in the army, I couldn't sleep comfortably when I lived with strangers.

On days off, I would come home whenever I could.

"I'll think about it once the report card comes out."

"Yes."

"The department is more important anyway."

"Where are you going?"

"To go to the language. Foreign language."

"Is it the same as English?"

"Huh."

"⋯You don't learn English just because you go there."

"Know. It's just that I like books. Still, I don't want to go to the Korean language course."

"You will regret it when you get a job."

"⋯Can't it be done somehow?"

"Think about it and do it. If you don't fit in, you will regret it later."

Well, it's me, even though I'm not satisfied with it, it's not to the extent that I want to eat it.

The kids who don't really fit in have a really hard time.

After talking about college, we laughed and chatted while watching TV.

It's been a long time since I finished the chicken, but she talked at length while sipping a drink.

I don't think there was anything special about it.

It wasn't that bad.

"Brother, I'm going to go in soon and sleep."

"Are you sleepy already?"

"I'm tired because I'm relaxed."

"Okay, go to bed then."

"Huh."

After cleaning the table together and brushing their teeth, they went back to their respective rooms.

⋯It's really over, now.

The exam is also over.

It's the end of listening to foolishness.

Maybe it would have felt like this if he had been discharged intact.

Cool and sad

Lying on her bed, she texted her mom.

Favorable replies came back, such as, What did winter buy you, thank you, and that her mother will treat you delicious food when she goes back.

After hearing more, it seems that he will be back next Tuesday.

The point of contact was two days before the confirmation test, so it's like that or something.

Honestly, I want you to come back soon.

I'm getting tired of buying and eating.

While I was thinking about what to eat tomorrow, the phone rang.

Of course I thought it was a mother, but it wasn't.

⋯ Why the hell are you calling from this street?

"⋯What is it, Winter?"

"Ah, brother. ⋯Can I ask you one favor?"

"It's the next room, just come and talk. What kind of phone is this?"

"Come to my room for a minute."

"Why."

"It's still the exam until twelve. Please do me one more favor."

"⋯This is the last one."

"Huh."

He is the younger brother who takes care of me until the very end.

Today is a good day, so I'll listen to you.

When I got out of bed and opened the door, my brother was hiding under the covers with only his head sticking out.

"Why."

"Turn off the light."

"⋯What?"

"Please turn off the lights. Sleep."

⋯ I was nervous at the thought of asking another favor.

Now I was able to joke around and laugh.

I quietly turned off the switch, but the room didn't get dark.

Because the bedside lights were on.

"Why did you turn it on while you were sleeping?"

"Brother."

"Why."

"Can you come over here for a second?"

"Oh, why?"

"Because it will take a while."

If I refused anyway, it would bother me in some way.

Without making a sound, I walked towards my brother.

"What."

"⋯Can I ask you one more thing?"

"Stop moxibustion."

"Only until Monday."

"Uh."

"⋯Brother and sister, do you want to quit?"

"⋯What?"

Brother,

She pulled out the blanket she was covering.

There was a winter in it.

Not my favorite black outfit,

Slightly whiter than the skin,

Winter in underwear.

"⋯Kim Winter."

"I've been thinking about it in many ways too…"

He got up from the bed and came close to me.

Is it because of the backlight or poor lighting?

The expression did not look good.

But she couldn't help but notice that she was very shy.

The whole top of the neck is red.

"I also wanted to be with my brother… As a brother and sister."

"But why."

"Still, I'm afraid that someday these feelings will disappear…"

"⋯."

"⋯Even if it disappears, I didn't want to make it something that never happened."

"Kim Winter."

"I was a little… Embarrassed to know that my brother felt that way toward him… Me."

"⋯."

"I didn't like it. ⋯Because I liked it. Continue."

On the collarbone,

On the shoulder that fits all in my arms,

Covered by a bra, but unable to hide the weight of the chest,

Maybe it could be grasped with both hands, on the side of the questionable side,

The curve from the waist draws attention to the silence followed,

⋯ All the way down there.

I wanted to take my eyes off you.

But,

It couldn't be.

So I couldn't answer the confession.

As I watched in silence, Winter came a little closer to me.

He even held my hand.

Gently, he brought it between her soft breasts.

"My brother did that every day in the army. If you don't get caught, it's not a problem…"

"⋯."

"⋯Until Mom comes back, just until then."

Can't breathe properly

The heart that tried to do something that hadn't happened,

The feelings I tried to suppress,

Desire,

It was just before it exploded.

"Do you think that makes sense?"

"No."

"⋯Then why are you doing that?"

"⋯Because I can't express it in words."

"⋯."

"You have no choice but to express it in something else."

"⋯Winter."

"Brother."

I was trying to be patient

I tried not to betray you.

Why,

Do you put me to the test?

"I've been thinking about it."

"⋯What."

"⋯The first and the last⋯I want you to be my brother."

"Hey."

"⋯Can you leave the evidence?"

He removed his hand from her chest.

He gripped his shoulders so hard that he broke them.

And then

Collapsed onto the bed.

Maybe my decision is the same.