Suspiciously Close Siblings (Going Up)

It is awkward.

Because of yesterday

Of course, you and I know that men are like that, and I think I was lacking in caution.

To be honest, I wasn't too ashamed after kicking off the blanket a few times and sleeping with a sigh.

Until recently.

"⋯."

"⋯."

This strange silence is the cause.

I thought we became close friends, but the distance went back to the old days.

Even until lunch, I tried to have a conversation.

But no matter what I say, there is only one answer, so what can I do?

I can't ask and I'm going crazy if you don't tell me first.

"⋯Have you changed your mood?"

"Yes."

I didn't like the way he was eating a piece of cake.

I think it would be less uncomfortable to be openly caught and teased.

I just want to move on to the happening, but it's so painful not to say anything at all.

If that's the case, treat it like you normally would.

Should I feel like I did something wrong?

My brother left the seat saying he would go to the bathroom for a while.

I let out a deep sigh and while I was fiddling with my phone,

A bobbed-haired woman I had seen somewhere came down from the second floor.

"Uh? Are you Ga-eul Kim by any chance?"

"Yes? Ah, yes."

"What, you almost didn't recognize me because your hair was so short. Are you discharged?"

"… Uh, that…"

"⋯Don't you remember me?"

No, it's vague because of the mask, but I roughly remember her face.

But what was your name?

I think it was a God or something.

"I bet you can't remember the motive of the department."

"Well, yes."

"What are you doing here? Aren't schools on vacation now?"

"I don't want to go back home, so I'm staying on my own. You? Are you going back to school?"

"No, I will do it next year."

Maybe it's because she's like a library, but she's someone I've come across and met her face from time to time.

Did you see it in college and get it then? We exchanged a few words and made a full statement.

⋯And that's it.

Sometimes when we see each other on the street, we say hello, but I don't think we have a personal relationship.

"So, what's going on here?"

"I have an appointment."

"Ah… You're on a date. Sorry. By interfering See you later."

Seeing her empty plate on her table, she waved her hand and disappeared as if she had convinced herself.

She still couldn't remember her name, so she was going through her memories, but before she knew it, her younger brother looked this way and returned to his seat.

"⋯Who is it?"

"Uh? Who?"

"The person I was talking to earlier."

"He? And motivation."

"Are you close?"

"No. We only know each other by face."

"What did you say?"

"Well, we asked about each other's regards… And didn't really say anything."

"⋯Is that the end?"

"I apologized for interrupting your date and left right away."

"⋯Date?"

Her little brother made a very complex and subtle expression.

⋯Isn't it right for a date?

If I go out with my mom, I'm going on a date with my mom, and if I go out with my younger brother, I'm going on a date with my younger brother.

"It's a date, right?"

"⋯."

The conversation broke off again.

Mr. Ai, should I speak?

Will I be comfortable speaking?

Honestly, I don't think there will be a chance if it's not now.

⋯I don't know.

It couldn't get any more awkward here.

If I go on like this, I will suffocate and die.

"…Come to think of it, it's kind of weird for a date."

"What?"

"I came here to have fun, whether to play or rest, but neither you nor I are enjoying it at all."

"⋯Sorry."

"No, you're not sorry. Well, I understand why you are like that."

"⋯ Huh?"

"⋯ Whoa. Okay. Yesterday… I was a bit careless. So… That… That…"

Her mouth is parched.

What I said earlier is cancelled.

Taking out my dark history with my mouth… It's more embarrassing than I imagined.

I had something in mind, but I forgot it.

Ears are hot.

"⋯ The conclusion. Neither you nor I did anything wrong."

"Yes."

"That's why I don't like this awkward atmosphere."

"⋯."

"I'd rather be teasing you, so please let go of that… Anger."

"I'm not angry. I'm a little embarrassed too… Sorry."

"It's just that we have nothing to be sorry for. We didn't fight, and we didn't do anything wrong."

"Huh."

"It's just that we want to live as usual. ⋯I don't like feeling distant from you."

"⋯I'll try."

⋯ This cafe is worse than I thought.

The air conditioning sucks. Why is it so hot

***

Still, we succeeded in reconciliation, and the atmosphere was a little more relaxed than before.

It's not that the awkwardness has disappeared at all… But this isn't bad.

They ate well until dinner and were returning home.

I wanted to die just when I said it, but I think I did well after it happened.

Should I say that I feel like I've been disinfected with stomatitis?

I think it's better to be less awkward instead of embarrassing once.

"So, did you refresh?"

"A little bit, my hair went white."

"⋯Isn't that okay?"

"Who is to blame?"

My younger brother glared at me.

No, is it my fault? If it was more than two months combined until I was in the military, I would have endured it for a long time.

I think it's the fault of my younger brother who changed his attitude just because he didn't witness the scene.

I couldn't even remember if my lunch went down my throat or my nostrils.

If you're in your third year of high school, shouldn't you be excusing things like that and pretending you don't know?

"⋯Still, it was quite enjoyable."

"You didn't do anything except eat."

"Because that's what I was originally going to do."

"Well, I hope you are satisfied."

"⋯What about your brother?"

"Me?"

"Did you have fun?"

I⋯, what.

It was a bit like halfway through.

If you have to ask…

"⋯It wasn't bad."

"What is it?"

"It's just, this is good, that is not good. It's nice to talk about it here, it's better there, I should have gone there rather, and it was subtly fine."

"⋯Really?"

"Originally, there was no topic to share with you. We weren't very close, and our hobbies and interests were all different."

"Huh."

"So, what… I don't think it's bad to go on dates with siblings and eat this and that."

"⋯Me too."

"I'll buy you another one after you finish your exam, so let's go together."

"⋯If you said that to someone other than your sister, wouldn't your brother also have a girlfriend?"

"Hey, Mr. How can I say this to someone else?"

We barely became close after growing up together all our lives.

If you want to find another person who will spit out these words casually, you have to live longer than the age you have lived.

'Cause I'm a bit shy

"I'm home."

"There is no one at home."

"⋯Oppa also said hello to an empty house the other day."

"I did that when I was a bit emotional after being discharged. Can you understand the soldier's sensitivity?"

"Can't you understand my senior high school sensitivity?"

"I also took the CSAT, don't you know? That's why I listen to everything you say."

"⋯Then can you do me a favor?"

"What."

"⋯I want to drink beer."

No, that's a bit…

Why are all the people in this family like this? Why does everyone like alcohol so much?

I'm not going to tell others.

"Well, let's hear the reason."

"⋯I have something I want to say."

"Uh."

"I don't think I can do it in my sober mind."

"⋯What is it?"

"I can't talk sober."

It's strangely sincere.

⋯Was the stress that bad?

Well, it could be because he tried to go outside with me even by force.

"And, starting tomorrow, Mom will be working at home too. She might not have a chance. It's Sunday tomorrow, so you can wake up late."

"⋯If you make one promise."

"Like what?"

"Until the exam is over, no matter what you say, I won't buy you any more alcohol."

"Doesn't care."

"Today is the last day."

"Huh. Are you okay."

"⋯Just drink two cans. I have to clean it up before Mommy comes."

"Yes."

⋯If you're going to say something like this, did you say it while you were in the car?

You have to walk to the convenience store again.

***

It was like watching a week ago.

A statue unfolded in front of the TV.

Beer glasses and snacks on the table.

Little brother sitting blankly.

Even the broadcast programs that are coming out are the same.

It's different in that I have more room in my heart compared to back then.

"Would you like a toast?"

"Huh."

They briefly shouted a toast and clinked their glasses at each other.

Mom, I'm sorry, I couldn't refuse my daughter's words because my son was weak.

I won't take it instead, so please take a look.

"So, why did you ask me to buy you a drink?"

"⋯Wait a little bit. I'm not drunk yet."

"Aren't you going to get drunk with two cans of beer anyway? I have to clean it up in an hour anyway, so tell me quickly."

"⋯Wait a minute, prepare your mind."

Her sister put her glass down, put her hand on her chest, and took a deep breath.

What the hell are you talking about? It's kind of scary.

Did you have an accident?

"⋯Brother."

"What."

"⋯Why did you suddenly become that kind?"

"⋯What?"

"You've changed a lot since high school. I was scared."

"⋯Do I have to ask while drinking?"

"I'm just… A bit shy."

There are so many things to be ashamed of.

Wouldn't it be more embarrassing to ask for a drink with a serious expression?

I can't understand my brother's feelings well.

"⋯Should I say that I have matured after the exam? Well, to be honest, I don't think anything has changed that much outside."

"Huh."

"It's not like I couldn't take the CSAT. You didn't go to the college you wanted."

"Huh."

"I thought I was great, but knowing that I wasn't, I felt a bit… Skeptical."

To be honest, I would be lying if I said that I still have no regrets.

Among those who are just studying, there is no one who would not aim for medical school or brass band.

How unfair would it have been to have taken the college entrance exam in the military?

"I went around like that and didn't take care of anyone else, but I didn't get the results I wanted, so my mentality was a bit broken."

"Yes."

"But still, a few friends and family were by my side."

"⋯I see."

"That's why I… Changed my mindset a bit."

"⋯Is that why you listen to everything I say?"

"That's… That…"

Being nice to your younger brother is one of these things, but there is another reason.

To be honest, until I enlisted, I was at the level of taking care of my brother who listens well.

⋯Shall I tell you?

Isn't it unfair that I'm the only one who's embarrassing?

"⋯You cried when I enlisted."

"⋯Did you hear?"

"My mother said so."

"⋯."

"I heard that when it was the most difficult time in my life, but I wonder if I will develop affectionate feelings for you."

"⋯."

"It's just… I'm a little moved."

He's such a younger brother that his prickly older brother would cry about enlisting.

I have to take care of it.

Isn't it human that you don't take care of it?

"⋯Then can I ask you one more question?"

"What."

"That… That's kind of… Where did you learn embarrassing words?"

"Like what?"

"Just, you know. Things I say seriously sometimes."

"⋯Is that what shrinks like that?"

"I don't know because my brother is the one who exhales. It's very embarrassing to be in the listening position."

"Brother and sister, why do they have that…"

"⋯I don't really know."

My brother pulled a cushion next to me and sat down.

Then, he gently whispered into my ear.

"⋯I love you."

"⋯ Hey."

"⋯You can see how creepy I was, right?"

Chicken skin sprouted all over the body.

Suddenly, apologetic feelings filled her chest like a splash. I was a jerk

I felt firsthand how scary the words I said in return for being nice to me were.

I haven't had a few sips of alcohol, but I'm going crazy. I'm crying inside.

"⋯I'm sorry. This feels very strange."

"Repent. You can't go around saying things like that."

"Yes, I will reflect."

"A scary person suddenly… Bought me something. Trying to do it Do you know how complicated my heart was when you kept talking to me?"

"Because I've been through it, I feel a little bit better. I'm really sorry."

"After being discharged, he suddenly made strange noises… And was very uncomfortable."

"…Anything like that, didn't we become closer after being discharged?"

"That's… Just because we're always together."

The little sister sitting beside her, bowing her head and fiddling with her nails, was slightly ⋯.

That…

Oh, I'll just be honest.

It was a little cute.

"Well, no matter what, there's nothing wrong with getting along better. Mom is like that too. When she gets old, she has to depend on her siblings to survive."

"Huh."

"It's been about 20 years since we've known each other… But we have to know each other for another 80 years."

"⋯Do you remember what I said earlier?"

"Sorry, because I'm a science major. I can only say what I said."

"What is it."

"Actually, you're shy, not me?"

"Where did the regrets go?"

"Now you are saying that you will be aware of your feelings of reflection and that you are frightened."

"Why, really?"

"You pamper me and I can't tease you?"

When I said a word with a grin, I was hit hard on the shoulder blade.

It's supposed to hurt, but it didn't hurt as much as today.