The Country Life Diary of a Gangster’s Secretary

This chapter is paid for by Nemuru!

It didn’t take long for him to regret the decision he had made earlier. As he roughly covered himself with the blanket, Ihyeok turned off the lights and approached him.

Then, as if responding automatically, his heart started pounding. The sound was so loud that he worried if Ihyeok might hear it. He was at a loss as to why he was reacting this way.

He had thought wrong after all. Yes, no matter how you looked at it, sharing a bed in this ridiculous situation where nothing had been resolved, and after hearing Ihyeok’s bombshell statement, was not right.

Hyeseong started to contemplate while hiding tightly under the blanket. If he could just fall asleep, it wouldn’t matter, but strangely his eyes were wide awake.

Should he leave now? Or maybe it wouldn’t be bad to go to another room once Ihyeok fell asleep.

Just as Hyeseong was feeling relieved that he had come up with an appropriate alternative plan…

“Hyeseong.”

Ihyeok’s low voice was heard from behind. Hyeseong visibly startled.

“How long are you going to keep the blanket like that? You’ll suffocate.”

No wonder it felt hot. Hyeseong cleared his throat unnecessarily and lowered the blanket. He straightened his body as if nothing was wrong. Then, suddenly curious, he glanced to the side, only to find Ihyeok looking at him with his chin propped up from a short distance away.

“…Why are you looking at me like that?”

“See, your face is red.”

“Don’t lie. How can you see that in the dark?”

“Ahjussi’s eyes can see everything.”

Strangely, Ihyeok seemed a bit excited. What was he so happy about? Someone else’s insides were all turned upside down because of him.

“Hyeseong, I said that earlier, but I’m not a pervert who touches without permission, so don’t worry. I’m trying really hard. To control my pheromones.”

Come to think of it, since entering this room, Hyeseong hadn’t smelled Ihyeok’s pheromones even once. His mind had been so noisy that he hadn’t noticed, but he didn’t expect Ihyeok to be mindful of even that aspect.

Hyeseong thought he should pay a little attention too.

“I’ll try not to touch even a hair until you give me permission.”

Permission? When Hyeseong stared at him with wide eyes, Ihyeok was grinning. So what, if he gave permission, what would he do? And what did he mean by ‘try’?

“Ahjussi… how can you say such things without changing your expression?”

When Hyeseong looked at him with a contemptuous expression, Ihyeok burst into laughter.

“How’s your body?”

“…It’s fine. I went to the hospital afterward and got a new prescription for suppressants.”

“That’s a relief.”

As Ihyeok naturally brought up the topic related to the heat, silence once again filled the room. For Hyeseong, who still found it difficult to accept the fact that he had spent his heat with Ihyeok, it was hard to grasp what to say to him right away.

“Hyeseong, I’m sorry.”

Then Ihyeok broke the silence with an apology.

“For what?”

“About what happened during the business trip to England. To be honest, I still don’t remember. But since I… did embrace you that day, I’ll apologize.”

Ihyeok’s words were filled with sincerity. By now, Ihyeok was speaking in a somewhat subdued voice, different from before.

In fact, Hyeseong hadn’t confessed about that day to receive an apology from Ihyeok. Though he might not have known well at the time, when you think about it, he was bound to manifest as an omega anyway, and there were plenty of opportunities to escape from that situation.

“You don’t have anything to apologize for, Ahjussi.”

Hyeseong turned his back to Ihyeok.

“To tell the truth, there were opportunities to escape from you when you were in rut. If I had called the medical staff then, the situation would have been resolved. But I didn’t. That was my choice and…”

Hyeseong’s voice trailed off for a moment. Ihyeok didn’t rush him, waiting for the boy to finish what he wanted to say.

“I don’t regret it.”

Of course, that incident had led to his full manifestation as an omega and became the catalyst for leaving Taesung and completely departing from Ihyeok’s side, but if someone were to seriously ask if he regretted that choice, Hyeseong would answer no.

“What you said to me earlier, Ahjussi. That…”

“That I love you?”

When Hyeseong hesitated, Ihyeok finished the sentence for him. Hyeseong’s back visibly flinched in surprise. Seeing him unable to hide his emotions like this was quite refreshing for Ihyeok as well.

“To be honest, I’m not sure. I’ve liked you from the moment I met you, and it’s always been one-sided. I’ve never once thought that you might have the same feelings as me.”

The reason he turned his back was that he didn’t think he could say these words properly without trembling if he saw Ihyeok’s face. Voicing the feelings he had harbored for a long time was unfamiliar to Hyeseong as well.

“It’s not that I don’t believe your words. But my head still can’t seem to accept it well.”

In his relationship with Ihyeok, Hyeseong was always alone, and that was natural. As a member of the Taesung faction and as the secretary to the CEO of Taesung, he always silently followed behind him.

Watching the back of Kwon Ihyeok, who made and pioneered his way without hesitation or fear of any obstacles, was familiar to Hyeseong.

Sometimes, he would notice the space beside him. He had thought about what it would be like to walk together, face to face as equals, rather than following from behind, but Hyeseong had never even considered the possibility that it could happen.

Just as a frog in a well doesn’t know there’s a wider world outside, he didn’t know there was a different picture on the other side of the coin.

Humans are creatures that live within their own experiences. It was common to make choices and act based on what they had seen, felt, and experienced throughout their lives.

It was natural to be afraid of things you haven’t experienced, and breaking through that and moving forward could be described as a challenge.

Then, was accepting Ihyeok’s feelings a challenge for him?

“I’m just confused about everything. So… please give me some time to think.”

It would be a lie to say he wasn’t happy to hear Ihyeok’s words. He seemed to have thought about wanting to be embraced by Ihyeok right away from some desire deep inside. That’s why he was all the more confused.

“…Okay. I understand. Let’s go to sleep now. You’ll be tired tomorrow.”

“Good night to you too, Ahjussi.”

Perhaps it was because he had spoken out what was in his heart. He felt much more at ease than before. What expression would Ihyeok be making now? Hyeseong slowly closed his eyes while thinking about this.

* * *

Not long after, Hyeseong fell into a stable sleep. He was now facing Ihyeok’s direction, breathing softly and cutely with his eyes closed.

“…”

The night was long, and it was still dark outside. Taking advantage of his eyes that had grown accustomed to the darkness, Ihyeok turned to face Hyeseong and was looking down at his face.

Earlier, Hyeseong’s words kept ringing in his ears. That he didn’t regret spending the rut together, that he had only liked him for 6 years and never even thought about the opposite.

Ihyeok clenched his fist without realizing it. Hyeseong was not used to it. It was difficult for him to receive the same emotion because he had only given and harbored feelings. The one who made him this way was none other than himself.

He had prided himself on cherishing Hyeseong as a precious younger brother and an outstanding member in his own way. But now he realized. That it was nothing more than a huge misunderstanding. In those fleeting moments that even he had taken for granted, how much hurt must this child have received?

Had he endured lonely times alone to the point where he felt it was natural to love alone? Despite this, Hyeseong had silently stayed by Ihyeok’s side.

The reason he desperately hid his feelings for him was probably because he feared that if his feelings surfaced, it would ruin this relationship. He must have been afraid of not being able to remain even as secretary and CEO, or as brothers. And yet, he would have worried about the hurt and guilt Ihyeok would feel.

He probably didn’t think about taking care of his own feelings. That was the reason why Hyeseong had become passive now.

“Hyeseong.”

His voice, immersed in the night, was now cracking. Ihyeok approached Hyeseong and gently caressed his face.

“Ahjussi is sorry.”

If given time to think alone, what answer would Hyeseong come up with? In fact, that wasn’t so important. Whatever the conclusion, what he had to do wouldn’t change anyway.

“Sweet dreams, Hyeseong.”

Ihyeok lowered his head and kissed Hyeseong’s lips. The long, long night was passing like that.

This chapter is paid for by Nemuru!