The Country Life Diary of a Gangster’s Secretary

This chapter is paid for by Nemuru!

A dark night. Ihyeok was currently on the highway. He stepped on the accelerator with an icy expression and sped away.

“It’s uncomfortable for me.”

The words Hyeseong said lingered in his head. Uncomfortable. In the 6 years he had known Hyeseong, it was the first time he’d ever heard those words. Perhaps that’s why the impact of that single phrase was truly immense. 

An uncomfortable presence. In all his life, he never thought he would become such an existence to Hyeseong.

“Damn it.”

His grip on the steering wheel tightened even more. He couldn’t understand why he felt so angry and his chest felt so stuffy, as if it was clogged.

Why was Hyeseong acting this way? Of course, it was true that he hoped Hyeseong would return to Taesung. That’s why he was hovering around Hyeseong.

But how could he describe their 6-year connection just like that? To Ihyeok, Hyeseong wasn’t just a colleague he worked with, but he thought they were as close as family. Just as Hyeseong was like that to him. He thought Hyeseong would regard him as an older brother, just as he truly considered Hyeseong a younger brother. 

But that was all being denied with just a single resignation. Was he wrong? Did Hyeseong only view this relationship from a professional standpoint? The agitated Ihyeok felt like their relationship up until now was being completely negated by Hyeseong’s single remark.

The reason he came down here today wasn’t for work related to the Haesung city redevelopment project. From the beginning, there wasn’t any urgent work to handle regarding the redevelopment, and Ihyeok had simply reached the conclusion that he wanted to treat Hyeseong to a good meal after wondering if he was eating well or if he might collapse again.

With just that thought, he came all the way to Myeongwol-myeon. There was a restaurant he had gotten a recommendation for. Since it was difficult to get a reservation unless you were somebody, he pulled some strings and asked the restaurant’s female owner to arrange a table.

Just then, as Hyeseong went to the restroom, the owner came to greet them, so Ihyeok politely responded with a smile and thanked her. In any case, it was thanks to her that he could treat Hyeseong to good food.

“Is it because of that bastard again?”

The guy who left a kiss mark on Hyeseong’s neck. What if he had said something about Hyeseong not getting too close to other people? Is that why Hyeseong was rejecting and pushing him away, saying he was uncomfortable?

With Hyeseong’s kind personality, he could have just followed along with whatever the guy said in the heat of the moment. Since Hyeseong had never been in a relationship before, he wouldn’t know any better and might just be doing as the guy said.

“……”

In his agitation, Ihyeok’s mind started spouting out all sorts of hypotheses. After entering Seoul, he parked the car on the side of the road and got out. 

Leaning against the railing of the bridge, Ihyeok finally took out a cigarette from his pocket. Just a moment ago when he was with Hyeseong, he had said he would try to quit smoking again, that he would make an effort. But Ihyeok lit it without hesitation and took a deep drag, inhaling the smoke.

He thought he knew everything about Hyeseong. Since Hyeseong’s parents were no longer in this world, and he thought he understood Hyeseong better and knew him the most compared to the aunt and uncle who took him in and raised him.

“I don’t know anymore.”

Cheon Hyeseong, who might be an omega. Cheon Hyeseong, who suddenly pushed him away saying it was uncomfortable. Cheon Hyeseong, who might have someone who could brazenly leave a kiss mark on him. 

It was all Hyeseong that he didn’t know at all. What should he do from now on? Ihyeok felt like the road ahead was suddenly becoming hazy, like the cigarette smoke rising to the sky.

Even after finishing a whole cigarette, Ihyeok couldn’t leave that spot for a long time.

* * * 

Even in that short moment walking from Ihyeok’s car to his house, Hyeseong paid attention to each and every step. He endured the urge to look back, worrying if his gait might look unsteady matching his feelings right now, and safely entered the house. 

“Hyeseong!”

Like a young child waiting only for his father to come home from work, Dohyun rushed over to greet Hyeseong as soon as he entered.

“Why are you so late?”

“Sorry. I had dinner before coming.”

“Dinner? With that acquaintance?”

Hyeseong shook his head slightly. As he entered the living room, Boksil ran over excitedly and rubbed his face against Hyeseong’s leg. 

“With the CEO.”

“CEO? But isn’t he in Seoul?”

“I think he came down briefly for work. We ran into each other by chance and he treated me to dinner.”

Perhaps that meeting wasn’t by chance. Dohyun vaguely thought so. There was no basis, but somehow it seemed that way.

“But Hyeseong, was the food not good?” 

“Huh?” 

Dohyun looked intently at Hyeseong’s face and asked as if something was off.

“Your expression doesn’t look good. You didn’t fight with the CEO, right?”

“……”

It was something Dohyun had jabbed at jokingly just in case, but Hyeseong was silent for a while. Only then did Dohyun regret his mistake, realizing he had touched on something he shouldn’t have.

“D-did something happen?”

“Dohyun.”

“Yeah?”

“I’m really going to properly get over my feelings for the CEO now.”

“……”

A sorrowful smile hung on Hyeseong’s lips. Dohyun could only stare blankly at his composed friend, keeping his mouth tightly shut.

“I’m really not going to do it anymore. Me.”

“Hyeseong.”

Even Dohyun, who could say he was the closest to Hyeseong since college, wasn’t unaware. How Hyeseong viewed Ihyeok. He knew, but he never pried for details or offered advice saying to try this or that. 

Hyeseong’s feelings for Ihyeok were immense, and having been accumulated over a long time, it was insufficient to simply call it affection or love. Dohyun wanted to respect such a great emotion.

And someday, when the time came for Hyeseong to reach a conclusion about those feelings, he thought he would quietly listen to his words then.

“Well, it’s nothing. Don’t walk on eggshells around the CEO because of me. It won’t change much anyway even if you do that.”

Hyeseong was smiling. The corners of his mouth were clearly turned up, but it was by no means a smile of joy, happiness, or relief after letting go of his feelings. 

Dohyun wanted to ask if he would really be okay, if his heart wouldn’t get sick, but he forced himself to swallow those words. Because right now, Hyeseong probably just needed silent support and comfort.

“Yeah. Okay.”

Dohyun smiled faintly and silently patted his friend’s shoulder. Boksil must have also sensed the gloomy atmosphere as he quietly lay down at Hyeseong’s feet.

After a short conversation with Dohyun, Hyeseong didn’t go straight to his room. It was more accurate to say he couldn’t. 

Dohyun coaxed him saying they should eat a late-night snack and watch a movie for the first time in a while, and Hyeseong, thinking it wasn’t a bad idea, nodded slightly. He judged that there was nothing good about being alone in his room anyway. It didn’t seem like he would easily fall asleep, and if he spaced out, he felt his heart would keep feeling uncomfortable with thoughts of Ihyeok.

So with the late-night snack Dohyun made himself, they put on a suitable action comedy movie. After about 1-2 hours, as the movie was reaching its end, Dohyun had fallen asleep on the living room floor hugging Boksil.

“He always falls asleep as soon as he eats.”

Hyeseong was going to wake him up and send him to his room, but seeing how comfortable his position looked, he just brought a blanket from the room and covered him. Turning off the TV and cleaning up, Hyeseong also went to his room. It was getting quite late, but as expected, he wasn’t sleepy. 

It seemed the way he had cruelly spoken to Ihyeok had taken a heavy toll on himself as well. Hyeseong ruminated on Ihyeok’s expression asking if he was serious.

Was he angry? Of course he would have been angry. Starting from quitting, Hyeseong had been unilaterally acting towards Ihyeok. But there was no other way. He would probably never speak of all these feelings even if he died. If Ihyeok knew of these tremendous feelings, he would surely be flustered and might find it burdensome.

“Ah, my head hurts.”

Hyeseong plopped down on the bed like that. As he was blankly staring at the ceiling, his phone buzzed briefly. Could it be Ihyeok again? If so, he couldn’t answer anymore.

But Hyeseong’s face grew puzzled as he looked at the screen. The person who sent the text wasn’t Ihyeok.

[Is this…Cheon Hyeseong’s phone by any chance?] 

[Yes. But who is this?]

A text from an unknown number abruptly asking if it was him without any self-introduction. The other person didn’t reply right away to the question asking who it was. What’s this? It doesn’t seem like it was sent by mistake… Ah, in that moment, something briefly passed through Hyeseong’s mind.

[Are you perhaps Manager Lee from Myeongpum Capital?]

Hyeseong sent another text on a hunch, but still there was no answer. Just as he thought he might have guessed wrong, his phone vibrated shortly.

[Yes. That’s right.]

Hyeseong’s eyes widened slightly. He didn’t expect to be contacted so soon like this. As Hyeseong tried to quickly send a reply, another text came from Manager Lee’s side.

[I contacted you after seeing the memo just in case. This is something you wrote yourself, right? It was attached to the back of the envelope…]

A photo was sent below that. An orange post-it note attached to a document envelope. On it, a single sentence was neatly written in Hyeseong’s handwriting:

If you need help, contact me assuming you have nothing to lose.

TN: Thank you so much, Nemuru! for the chapters. Have a nice day!