The Villainess Does Not Want to Die

Chapter 46: Words I Don’t Want to Hear

The soldiers in their splendid uniforms marched through the triumphal arch, and knights gathered in groups heading somewhere—but beyond that, not much had changed.

The nobles still gathered at balls, dancing to their hearts’ content, and the citizens of the capital lived as energetically as ever.

No matter how many died, there would be no gloom overtaking society or instability shaking the nation.

After all, His Majesty had gathered society’s trash and turned them into patriots serving the country, ensuring that knights would rarely face death.

Yet, it felt as if things around me were falling apart one by one.

Alina had run far away, and I couldn’t bring myself to stop her.

If I had tried to stop her, she would almost certainly have ended up hanging in a corner of the estate’s warehouse.

Raphael hadn’t exactly run away, but he had gone far off to the battlefield.

Libian and Eileen occasionally spoke to me or cracked jokes, but I only offered polite smiles and let the conversations drift away lightly.

Libian mentioned that the Duke and his eldest son had also gone to the battlefield.

He assured me that nothing significant would happen since they had gone with the Order of Knights.

Thinking of Alina again, I couldn’t help but want to see her.

I knew her address, so I thought I might stop by to see her before returning to the estate.

I wondered how much she had changed.

She had mentioned marrying a boy from a rural farming village—by now, she might even have a child.

If the child resembled Alina, it would undoubtedly be adorable.

I hoped she was living happily.

After all, the reason she left me behind in this dreadful place and fled on her own was to live a happy life.

As usual, I spent today sitting in the corner of the ballroom, watching others dance.

Since that light kiss with Olivia, for some reason, the kind-hearted heroine blushed and avoided me every time our eyes met.

Thanks to this, malicious rumors had spread again, as if I had done something terrible to Olivia.

“If you know any underground organizations, introduce me to them.”

Today, the prince—who, far from receiving dance invitations, was avoided by all the women (or rather, the noblewomen)—had nothing better to do. He sat beside me, sipping wine, and brought up an absurd topic.

“What nonsense are you saying all of a sudden?”

“I overheard a rumor just now. They’re saying you had one of your underlings from some organization assault that pretty young girl.”

“If I had even one such organization, I’d die without regrets. Imagine someone loyal enough to infiltrate the mansion’s security during wartime and come all the way here. Incredible.”

“Quite so.”

The prince nodded as if it were a natural observation.

“Unfortunately, it seems the war won’t end in time for the social season.”

“Not long ago, everyone was celebrating, boasting about crushing those merchants’ capital within two weeks.”

“It seems they were surrounded while crossing the mountains. Oh, but keep it to yourself—it’s not public knowledge yet.”

“It doesn’t matter; I’ve no one to tell anyway. So, does this mean we lost the war?”

“Losing isn’t an option. The only difference is whether we win while losing many lives or while losing relatively fewer.”

He spoke as if stating the obvious.

The end of his statement left a bitter taste, though.

“Your confidence is impressive.”

“Even if the royal family is rotten, our pride in this nation reaches the heavens.”

A long, awkward silence stretched between us. Neither of us was close enough to comfortably start another conversation.

“So, that sweet young lady avoiding you—is it because you hit her or something?”

I hesitated briefly before deciding to answer lightly. This man was unlikely to spread anything he heard.

After all, who would listen to someone stuck sitting by me among this crowd?

“I just didn’t like her, so I stole her first kiss. A lady’s first is always precious, you know.”

The prince blinked in surprise, momentarily at a loss for words.

His reaction amused me, and I couldn’t help but laugh.

“You speak as if you’re not a lady yourself.”

A sharp observation.

Even after all these years, I still hadn’t fully established my sense of self.

I had accepted that I was Marie, but it was harder to embrace the idea of being the older, more grown-up Marisela.

All I carried in my mind was the notion that I was emotional and impulsive.

I deflected the prince’s remark with a vague response.

If it had been anyone else, I would have wracked my brain for a more thoughtful answer.

“Just let it go.”

Apparently, he wasn’t serious about the question; he merely shrugged and moved on to the next topic.

“By the way, have you thought about what I mentioned last time?”

“What are you expecting from someone so young? Surely it’s not interesting in this body.”

“An engagement would suffice.”

“Why me, though?”

I pointed to a cute girl sitting in the corner, clearly not receiving any dance invitations.

“You could woo that young lady over there. She’s of lower status but adorable—she’d surely fall for you if you tried.”

“But then I’d have to love her. It’s only natural for a normal woman to crave love.”

“Are you saying I’m abnormal? Quite rude of you, Your Highness.”

“Wouldn’t anyone think so, watching you calmly strike a woman’s head with a glass, then sit down and pull glass shards from your hand without a care?”

The truth of his words hit me squarely, and I, like most people confronted with uncomfortable truths, kept silent and pretended not to hear.

“You can’t approach someone so bright and happy like that.”

“I think I understand what you mean.”

“Didn’t you kiss her?”

“It was just a warning. Being alone with someone in an enclosed space isn’t a great idea, no matter who they are.”

“Hah, true.”

If it had been someone like the prince or Libian, they might have assumed permission and simply charged ahead.

After some light conversation, the prince grew bored and wandered off.

Judging by the fact that he exited through the garden path rather than the main entrance, he was likely heading to a village or tavern for some fun.

Eileen, as usual, wore a distressed expression while watching Olivia dance with another man.

If she handled the situation as she had with me—by throwing rotten eggs and slapping cheeks—it might resolve itself.

When a short break arrived after about eight songs, I approached Olivia, who was resting on a sofa, her body glistening with sweat as she sipped a drink.

“It seems many people like you, Olivia.”

“Hearing that is a bit embarrassing…”

Olivia trailed off, her words faltering when she saw my face.

I sat beside her, gazing at the dancers.

“I’m sorry about last time. I didn’t know how to maintain the right distance. As you may have heard, my reputation is what it is, so I have no friends.”

Her wariness eased slightly at that.

“Oh, um… So you just wanted to be friends?”

“Something like that. If I made you uncomfortable, I’m sorry. If you dislike me so much that you want to avoid me, I won’t approach you again.”

I stood as I spoke, but Olivia grabbed my arm.

True to her kind nature, Olivia tried to understand rather than reject me outright.

Or so I hoped.

“No, it’s fine! If it was just a mistake, it can’t be helped. It was partly my fault for approaching you when you were alone. I might have said some thoughtless things myself…”

I doubted it.

I had overheard comments about handsomeness, pitying the wandering prince, and admiration for Raphael, but nothing overly rude.

Still, I smiled instead of contradicting her.

“By the way, Marie, you always wear such magnificent dresses. I admire that. I’m still dressed by my parents.”

Technically, her mother wasn’t her biological parent, but I let that slide and continued the conversation.

“I also wear what my lady, or rather, my mother, chooses for me.”

Ah, right. Officially, she was my mother.

Olivia’s radiant smile lit up her face as she responded.

“She must truly love you—”

Her words were cut off as I unknowingly grabbed her cheek, silencing her.

I squeezed her face, my hand trembling.

“Um, Marie…?”

Olivia looked at me in shock, her lips pursed like a duck’s.

I tried to let go, but my shaking hand wouldn’t obey.

After a moment, people who had been watching us disapprovingly approached and separated us.

It seemed they feared I might strike Olivia as I had done to another woman before.

But I just didn’t want to hear any more.

The gathered women naturally intervened, pulling Olivia and me apart.