Chapter 41 - Give Me Back My Self-esteem
“Channel monetization meeting.”
I absentmindedly muttered the words Rion had just said.
It hit me then. Why has my daily life not changed much even after becoming a VTuber?
It was because I was still unpaid.
Of course, corporate VTubers usually receive a fixed salary to some extent. But I had only been a VTuber for about a week, so I hadn’t received even my first paycheck yet.
“If you monetize the channel, you’ll get a certain percentage of the views and donations… but that percentage isn’t as high as you might think.”
YouTube takes about 30% of the revenue as a fee.
And how the remaining 70% is divided between the company and the VTuber varies by company, but it’s said that the VTuber generally receives about 10% to 30% of that 70%.
“You don’t get to keep as much of the revenue as I thought.”
“All corporate VTubers are like that. Independent VTubers get to keep all 70%.”
“Oh my, wouldn’t it have been better to be an independent VTuber then?”
“Isn’t it better to earn 1 million won and keep 300,000, than to earn 1 million and keep 700,000?”
That’s how different corporate VTubers are from independent ones.
“And the revenue you don’t get to keep eventually gets spent on you anyway. Later, for your outfit production or 3D modeling.”
“It’s more complicated than I thought.”
Well, in any case, it’s not a bad thing to make money. After all, the main reason I became a VTuber in the first place was because my bank account was empty.
‘Ah, so that’s why people quit being VTubers and become streamers?’
Suddenly, I remembered what Anna had once said. Why VTubers quit and turn to streamers, or why they stop being VTubers only to become another VTuber.
Independent VTubers keep a larger portion of the revenue, but since their subscriber count is lower, they don’t earn much.
Corporate VTubers keep less of the revenue, but their subscriber count is higher, so they actually earn more than independent VTubers.
So the idea is, ‘If you can keep a large portion of the revenue and have a lot of subscribers, you’ll be the strongest.’
In that case, wouldn’t it be great to be a corporate VTuber, build up a huge subscriber base, then leave the company and become an independent VTuber? You’d earn a ton!
“There are people like that, but… obviously, companies aren’t stupid. They’ve got various clauses to prevent it.”
“Yeah, I guess so.”
I wasn’t planning on leaving the company anytime soon.
Even if I did switch to being a streamer later, for now, I wanted to learn more about being a VTuber and streamer.
“Anyway, about monetization. Feel free to do it. I won’t object.”
“Right. That’s what I wanted you to say at the meeting.”
“Is there really a need for a meeting? Do you expect me, a noblewoman, to travel far for this?”
“Please, save the role-playing for the stream… We need to draft a contract too. Though we could just do it electronically, I think it’s a good chance for the 6th Gen to meet each other.”
“Why?”
I tilted my head in confusion. Was there really a need for that?
Rion responded like this:
“I’m thinking of pushing for a 6th Gen MV production.”
***
[Even I had a conviction.]
[I constantly kept pushing you out.]
[I didn’t care if it wasn’t profitable ♪]
Music filled the room. At some point, my life had become mostly filled with songs.
I couldn’t endure the silence of the world anymore.
From the moment I woke up to the moment I went to sleep—no, even after I fell asleep—the music never stopped.
That was why Seo Sola had become Ayanokouji Sora.
There are many ways to make a living from singing. One could become a singer, or even an idol.
But I thought that wouldn’t be easy. Plus, it would be tough to sing J-POP.
What made me decide was a particular song.
[Touched? You’re arrested☆ Roll call in prison!]
…Who knew a VTuber’s song would dominate the world?
I was already over 20, too old to become an idol at this point.
But with VTubers creating songs that were taking over the world, the VTuber industry seemed to have a lot of potential.
If you become somewhat popular as a VTuber, you can release original songs.
Once you get 3D modeling done, you can participate in various live events and sing.
Eventually, you could even hold solo concerts.
And if a song you sang becomes a hit, it’d be a jackpot.
Of course, things don’t always go that smoothly.
So, I decided to only have a little hope.
Too much expectation would only lead to greater disappointment if I failed later on.
But I couldn’t even achieve that, which is kind of sad.
【Aurora】 Subscribers: 154,256
【Inagika】 Subscribers: 14,842
【Chel Sumeragi】 Subscribers: 11,056
【Ayanokouji Sora】 Subscribers: 9,321
Tsk, a barrier.
Why couldn’t I even break the 10,000-subscriber wall?
Did I underestimate VTubers too much? It’s not like I didn’t try. Maybe that’s why it hurts even more.
If I hadn’t tried at all, at least I could accept it. But ever since I got rejected at the document stage of the 5th Gen audition last year, I’ve really dug deep into what being a VTuber means.
People say hard work doesn’t betray you, but this is a grand betrayal, isn’t it?
But the world works like that.
No matter how hard you work, it doesn’t always pay off, and it seems like it often doesn’t.
“Aah.”
I let out my voice. My throat wasn’t in great shape today.
Singing would probably make me feel better, but even my body wouldn’t allow that.
…Should I just give it up?
In the end, suffering comes from attaching meaning to everything.
I want to be better than my peers, gain popularity through my singing, and have lots of subscribers.
If I stopped being so ambitious and just took it easy, maybe I’d feel more at peace.
But can you really let go just because you decide to?
The mind isn’t something you can empty simply by choosing to.
♪♬♩♪♪♩♬
Amid the music filling the room, there was a discordant sound.
My phone was vibrating. The name on the screen read, ‘Manager Lee Jungwoo.’
With a sigh, I paused the music.
Sora answered the call.
“Hello?”
[Sora, how are you?]
“I’m doing fine, thanks~. What’s the occasion?”
Sora responded as cheerfully as she could.
She didn’t want to show any sign of being down, didn’t want to reveal her weaknesses.
She still had a somewhat superficial relationship with her manager.
[It’s just, we need you to come by the office.]
“The office? Is something up?”
[Not really. But we need to get your channel monetized.]
“That was fast. The monetization has already been approved?”
[Yes, it has. In the past, YouTube didn’t approve monetization easily, but now, they pass most channels.]
Manager Lee Jungwoo explained.
I already knew.
Back in 2018, when VTubers weren’t widely accepted yet, monetization wasn’t easy.
It usually took about one or two months at the quickest, and if the content seemed even slightly inappropriate, monetization could be denied.
There were VTubers who took half a year to get monetized, and others who had it revoked after singing a few songs.
Compared to that, these days, debuting and getting monetized within two weeks is the norm.
That was proof of how much the perception of VTubers had changed.
[So we need you to come in and sign the contract. Also, we’ll have a 6th Gen meeting.]
“A 6th Gen meeting? In person?”
[Yes. The 6th Gen has been quite successful, so we thought it’d be a good opportunity to discuss various things.]
“So, I’ll be meeting the others?”
[That’s right.]
“…….”
I don’t like that.
Before debut, hadn’t I acted all high and mighty towards Inagika and Chel? Since they were both so quiet, I’d basically considered myself the leader of the 6th Gen.
Aurora… Well, I was a bit intimidated when I first met her on Discord.
‘Ah, I probably can’t beat her. Losing to her is inevitable.’
But I figured I could surpass her in the long run. Aurora didn’t know much about VTubers yet.
So, I thought I could play the role of the leader and win over the audience.
‘…Yet I’m at the bottom of the 6th Gen.’
How ridiculous must I have looked, boasting like that?
Honestly, it was kind of humiliating.
[Is something wrong?]
“Oh, no… It’s fine.”
Sora replied.
…What else could I do?
As a professional, when you’re told to go, you go.
Sora let out a small sigh.
***
【Ayanokouji Sora】 Subscribers: 9,975
It was now Sunday.
Time continued to march forward, and Sora couldn’t stop it. …How ruthless it was.
If only time could pass a bit more kindly. Why hadn’t I hit 10,000 subscribers yet?
Was this really a barrier?
As if the world was telling me, “This is your limit. Don’t even dream of going beyond this.”
“You dared to act all high and mighty, so now grovel and lick the dirt.”
It felt like the world was mocking me like that.
As the days passed, Sora slowly resigned herself.
…Couldn’t I at least hit 10,000? Couldn’t I at least have that?
In the past few days, Sora had become desperate, but people don’t change that easily.
Sure, my subscriber count might not be great, but in the real world, I’m sure I’d still be better off than the others.
Inagika? I can already tell without even meeting her. Will she even make eye contact properly?
Chel? How different could she be from Inagika? In Discord, she was basically a wallflower, so in real life, she’d probably just sit there like a lump.
‘Yeah. What do I have to be afraid of?’
At least I’ve got looks. In the real world, I’ll definitely overwhelm my peers.
Sora wanted to regain her self-esteem that way.
Lately, she really craved self-esteem.
Sora forced a smile on her face and took a step toward the company building.
Then, she stopped in her tracks.
“……Aurora?”
The moment she saw her, Sora muttered under her breath.
Standing in front of the company, holding a parasol, was a woman.
She wore a black one-piece dress.
That single garment exuded an elegance that was hard to describe.
Her red-tinged eyes.
Sora knew the face of the woman, who was looking down at her phone with a bored expression.
Of course, because it was the same face as her avatar.
“That voice… Sora, is that you?”
Aurora lifted her head slightly and smiled devilishly.
…It seemed her skills from the “character deletion match” hadn’t been a lie. She recognized me in an instant.
As I gazed into her eyes, which felt like they could suck me in, I let out a breath.
Self-esteem recovery… failed…!