The Young Consort Wants to Live Quietly

Chapter 86

* * *

I was dumbfounded by those words. It’s okay? What is?

Giyun, who was looking at the Empress and me, made a strange expression.

Soon, Giyun smiled slightly, put me down, and gently pushed my back. It seemed like he was telling me to say my final goodbye.

I walked towards the throne. I tried my best to hold my legs that kept losing strength, but I stopped just one step away.

However, I didn’t collapse. Mother held me up.

A brief sadness flashed in Mother’s eyes. But Mother quickly smiled again.

“Is your father really better than me? Even though I considered you my daughter despite not giving birth to you.”

I was stunned by her hand playfully shaking my nose while laughing. I didn’t understand what she was saying or why she was so cheerful.

“What are you… right now…”

“How annoying, I guess I’ll have to stop being your mother from now on.”

Mother, who interrupted my words, said that as if she was really annoyed. It was a joking tone, but those words really made me want to cry.

“Why are you doing this?”

My voice trembled. Hearing those words, Mother’s expression wavered. Mother stroked my cheek with affection. She smiles again.

“Baby. Sanya. I am no longer your mother now.”

“What do you mean, since earlier…”

“So no matter what happens to me, don’t take it to heart.”

I couldn’t say anything to the following words.

“Don’t remember it for long, don’t blame yourself, and don’t be sad. It’s not your fault.”

Mother’s eyes were still calm. She was smiling as if it truly didn’t matter.

“Mom is okay.”

At that answer, I smiled with a distorted face.

“I thought you had some good solution, but what is this…”

Still, I couldn’t reprimand her for that. Because I could understand why she said that.

‘She did it because I was scared.’

There is no way to escape this situation. But Mother didn’t show it. It was pure concern. Whether her death and this situation would remain as a shock to me. In case I grieve her death.

At this rate, she herself will die.

And that face determined my choice. Emotions surged beyond the composure I tried to maintain. I bit my lip hard and held my breath.

It’s okay. I’ll be fine. There’s no guarantee I’ll definitely die, and even if I do happen to die…

I couldn’t keep thinking for long. It was also impossible to force myself to think positively.

I looked at Mother. Mother was still smiling.

The wide main hall, Mother in dragon robes. And me looking up at her.

I remembered when we first met.

‘I was really uncomfortable back then.’

Awkward, a bit foolish. A strange empress I couldn’t understand. That person somehow became my mother.

With that thought, I was able to smile a little.

I reached out and held Mother’s hand. Her large hand enveloped mine. Firmly holding on so as not to let go.

As if saying it’s okay, very reassuringly.

Taking in that face for the last time, I closed my eyes tightly like someone about to fall.

It’ll be alright.

With that final thought, I gripped my hand tightly. The wish-granting jewel in my hand made a cracking sound. At that moment, the world distorted.

Immense pain was felt. Even consciousness was fading. I couldn’t even feel the sensation of standing on my feet.

The pain coursing through my body, the commotion, the warmth grasping my arm.

Slowly, sceneries flashed before my eyes. Memories rewind like a tape being played backward.

The earliest memory is of a woman hugging me as a newborn and crying. The face shedding tears messily perfectly overlaps with Mother’s face.

“Mom…”

As soon as I saw that face, I muttered. My completely cracked voice leaked out, drenched in tears. My vision blurred. The emotions I had kept tightly shut burst open like a dam breaking.

Ah, it hurts.

This really hurts too much.

It’s painful and scary. I don’t want to die like this, I hate being in pain.

Rough breaths burst out. Mother, who had approached at some point, was hugging me. Blinking a few times, my vision darkened. In the darkness, I felt a hand firmly holding me.

Still, still.

Mom, don’t die.

I wanted to say that, but at that moment, everything went black.

* * *

Mom was crying. Her hunched back looked pitiful. Even though her hair was tightly tied up, dull strands of hair were sticking out unsightly.

I could tell it was Mom just from her back view. But Mom never turned around.

Mom never cried in front of me since I started talking. But I remember the days when she hugged her bloody young daughter and cried.

Unable to take even a single step closer to the crying Mom, I hesitated and squeezed out a single word from my blocked throat.

“Mom.”

I’m sorry.

“Sanya?”

It was then that I heard an urgent voice.

Ahh!

I inhaled and abruptly sat up. It was a reflexive response, but my body didn’t support me, causing my head to throb.

Ouch, it hurts.

I fiercely frowned. My head hurt like it was splitting and I felt dizzy.

Ah, I’m wide awake now.

So… I used an ability, it hurt like hell, and I passed out like that.

‘What kind of dream did I have?’

I very clearly remember the fact that I had a dream, but I can’t recall the contents of the dream at all.

‘I guess it was a dream about Mom.’

Not the mom from this life, but the mom who died when I was five years old in my previous life.

That dream I always have when I’m sick, I couldn’t remember even a little bit at first, so it’s probably the same.

Like the dream I had when I was sick, was it something that happened with Mom?

I casually brushed it off and coughed slightly. My mouth was dry, making it difficult to swallow saliva.

My throat stung. Judging by the faint taste of blood lingering in my mouth, it seemed I had also coughed up blood.

But somehow I’m alive.

I had resigned myself to death. So it was surprising that I had opened my eyes just fine.

No. Did something break?

While I was thinking that nonchalantly, a trembling hand touched my face.

Only then did I raise my head.

“…Mom.”

“Sanya! Baby, do you recognize me?”

Actually, I’m not sure. My vision is still blurry. But when I dazedly nodded at the familiar voice, Mother tightly held my hand.

“While you were asleep, how much I…”

Mother lowered her head. The hand holding mine trembled faintly.

She must have been really startled. Of course she would be.

I quietly blinked my eyes and took deep breaths. It felt like waking up my dormant body.

It seems I slept for a long time.

But it wasn’t bad. Rather, my body felt more refreshed.

Let’s not ask how long I was asleep for.

Thinking that, I patted the back of Mother’s hand.

“I’m fine.”

“What’s fine!”

Mother shouted frantically at my soothing words. I widened my eyes. It was the first time Mother got angry at me.

“Do you know how your condition was? If we had been a little late, you would have…!”

Mother, who was scolding me, trailed off. Is she sobbing?

My vision hadn’t fully returned yet, so I couldn’t focus well. Blinking a few times, I slyly changed the subject.

“Your way of speaking changed.”

It became very subtly more friendly. Mother seemed surprised by my question. Did she think I wouldn’t notice? I asked groggily.

“Did you change it on purpose?”

“…Yes.”

I don’t know why all of a sudden, but I didn’t mind. I wasn’t very fond of the palace way of speaking anyway.

Blinking a few more times, I finally fully focused my vision. And I was startled. I thought my eyes looked white because they were adjusting to the light, but that wasn’t it.

Mother’s hair, which had been as black as ebony like mine, had turned completely white.

White hair bordering on silver. It was very similar to the description of the Heavenly Dragon I had heard not long ago.

“Your hair…”

At my muttering, Mother raised her head. Even her eyelashes, which had been black, had turned white.

Mother, who made eye contact with me, smiled subtly.

“You knew after all. How smart, our Sanya.”

Somehow the compliment doesn’t sound like a compliment. When did my kind mother learn sarcasm?

I wanted to ask, but having committed a sin, I obediently shut my mouth and blinked my eyes.

Mother made a face like she really wanted to hit me once, then sighed and opened her mouth.

“If you’re talking about the Heavenly Dragon, you’re right.”

“How did it happen to you?”

How on earth? Was it because of the ability I used?

‘That kind of ability was contained in that wish-granting jewel?’

I unconsciously put strength into my body and approached Mother. But I soon frowned. Just from moving a little, I felt dizzy.

“I’ll explain, so let’s calm down, baby.”

Mother, who calmly soothed me, carefully made me lean back.

“The possibility of becoming a Heavenly Dragon is open to all imperial family members. It’s just that the probability is low.”

“That wasn’t in the records though.”

“It wouldn’t be. It’s a story I heard from my father too.”

Mother gently countered my rebuttal and tidied my hair.

“Loving someone is the awakening condition for a Heavenly Dragon.”

But there’s a curse that the imperial family can’t love anyone.

“It’s a story close to impossible.”

Before I could ask, Mother added on her own.

The dragon that granted abilities was really eccentric. Telling humans who were made unable to love that in order to manifest abilities, they must love someone. It was like hammering in a nail telling them not to use it.

Moisture glistened on the white eyelashes looking at me. The white hair swayed gently.

I sighed and weakly patted Mother’s shoulder. Goodness, no wonder only two have appeared in the long history of the country. Thinking it was an immense fortune again, I asked Mother.

“So you gained the ability to use the Dragon’s Command?”

Sitting up made me sleepy again. I asked that even with my eyes almost closed.

“Yes.”

“What about Giyun? What happened to him?”

As soon as she heard that name, Mother’s face hardened.

“The Yeoran family lost their abilities.”

It was a resolute voice that left no room for doubt. The Dragon’s Command must be really great. To be able to erase abilities.

Thinking that, I smirked. Something tremendous had passed, but it didn’t feel very real.

Just a bit sleepier than usual. A very ordinary daily life.

And at the same time, I was grateful to be this peaceful.

What happened to Giyun? Is everyone else unharmed?

Seoyeon, Heesa, ah, Yeoryu too.

And Gowun. The others are at least older, but he’s still young. He must have been very startled.

Knowing Gowun, who doesn’t easily open up to others besides me, made me more worried. But I kept getting drowsy. It felt like my body was sinking into the soft bed.

Perhaps seeing my eyes closing, Mother carefully laid me down. I tightly held Mother’s hand.

“Mom.”

“Yes.”

“Mom.”

“Mhm.”

An answer comes every time I call. That made me smile.

“I’m glad you’re alive.”

Mother too, and me.

With those words, I fell into slumber.