The Young Consort Wants to Live Quietly

Chapter 98

* * *

A brief silence filled the Restricted Books Chamber. It was originally a quiet place, but now not even the sound of a dead mouse could be heard.

“…You’re not joking?”

Even as I asked that, I knew it wasn’t a joke. After all, Gowun had never made a joke before. Still, it was so out of the blue that it really seemed like one.

Seeing my face of disbelief, Gowun nodded his head.

“But your ability isn’t deadly poison, right?”

I blankly asked again. Previously, when I had asked Gowun about his ability, he said it was transforming into animals. And the ability of the Maho family is deadly poison. If he is registered under that family, he should have that family’s ability.

“That is also correct.”

Gowun answered indifferently. It seemed to have a double meaning.

“I can transform into animals, but I also possess the ability of deadly poison.”

“That can happen?”

“Since I have not seen any other cases besides myself, it must be unusual.”

Wow, so there are cases of having two abilities.

Abilities are usually inherited from the stronger of the parents’ abilities. But to inherit both abilities, how fascinating. It was surprising, but I thought if there can be anomalies like me who have no ability, why not this too?

‘My guard is more capable than I thought.’

Feeling proud for no reason, I smiled and suddenly recalled something.

“But how did you become a shadow?”

Shadows are secret agents used in the imperial palace. Although not anymore, previously abilities could not be used in the palace, so they did not particularly select high-ranking nobles with strong abilities.

If he is from a noble family that governs a granary region, it doesn’t seem like a family in name only. How could they readily give away a child whose name is even listed in the family registry?

At my question, Gowun hesitated for a moment, then opened his mouth.

“My mother sent me to the palace. She told me to hide my identity.”

That answer sounded strange somehow. Was there a reason why he had to hide his identity?

‘It doesn’t seem like a story to hear lightly.’

I tightly grasped the book in my hand. I was nervous for no reason, and at the same time, I felt a bit grateful to Gowun.

This was the first time Gowun talked about himself. I closed the book and looked at Gowun.

“Although I was born with two abilities, I cannot properly utilize either of them.”

“…”

“The distribution of power is unbalanced, so the ability of deadly poison is too strong, and for the animal transformation, I can only transform into a small bird at best.”

This was also a story I heard for the first time today. Gowun’s face was determined, making it difficult for me to tease him saying he wasn’t as strong as I thought.

“My father wanted me to properly handle the family’s ability.”

The face that had been firm as if resolved changed when his father was mentioned. The child showed a noticeably anxious expression. Even though the person he was talking about wasn’t even in front of him, just bringing it up himself made him anxious.

“So…”

As Gowun tried to continue his explanation, his face gradually turned paler. I held the hand that Gowun was lowering.

‘His hand is like ice.’

A child left behind, a parent trying to teach that child.

It was a typical story. If he were just an ordinary father, Gowun wouldn’t tremble like this at the mere mention of his name.

It wasn’t difficult to guess what had happened, and it seemed to have remained as Gowun’s trauma.

“Gowun. It’s okay.”

It was a painful story for me to hear too. Unable to show that, I comforted the child.

“This is the palace, and there’s no one here but you and me.”

“…”

“You know how weak I am, right? I can’t hurt you. I have no intention to either.”

When I said that with a playful smile, only then did Gowun smile a little. But his hand was still cold, so I gently rubbed the child’s hand.

“You don’t have to talk about it if it’s difficult.”

Did I say something unnecessary last time? I felt sorry for feeling proud even for a moment. I just wanted to say I like you a lot, but did it come across to you as being disappointed that you didn’t talk about yourself?

At my words, tears welled up in Gowun’s eyes. I quietly hugged the child. A quite heavy, but still small head rested on my shoulder.

“You were really scared.”

I had expected he had a bad past, but I was still hoping you were happy. Hearing the implication that he was abused made my heart ache.

“Gowun. You don’t need to be afraid of that person.”

I spoke while patting the child.

“I know he must have seemed very big and strong in your young eyes. But really, that person is nothing.”

“…”

“Have you met him since entering the palace?”

Gowun shook his head. I chuckled and stroked Gowun’s hair.

“See? It’s because that person is weak that he can’t find you.”

“…”

“If by any chance he comes looking for you, if he tries to torment you like when you were young, I will protect you.”

I have no power myself, but the people I love are strong. Mirinae, Garam, and Mother too.

So don’t be afraid, Gowun.

The child’s trembling body gradually calmed down. Thinking he might be okay now, I detached Gowun from me and chuckled. Perhaps out of embarrassment, Gowun’s face was flushed red. It looked better with color compared to the pale face from earlier.

“Do you want to talk more, or do you not want to?”

When I asked, Gowun pondered and answered that he would talk.

“…Before leaving for the capital, my mother said.”

The child couldn’t say it right away. I quietly waited for those words, and soon Gowun started his story.

“Don’t reveal your identity or name. In case your father hears even your voice, live as a mute.”

It was the reason Gowun did not speak and didn’t even tell his name. Everyone just thought the child’s personality was unique. But the reason was darker than expected.

Hearing those words, I recalled the night Gowun first came to me.

“But you spoke to me.”

The day I asked for his name, Gowun came to me and told me his name. At my question, Gowun nodded.

“To Your Highness, I just…”

Gowun’s face bloomed as he mumbled.

“I felt like I could.”

Gowun said that with a bright smile. That smile was too innocent for this situation.

I smiled back at him. What kind of reason is that, you little puppy?

“When I woke up, you cried so much, I knew you really liked me a lot.”

After Giyun’s palace intrusion, when I first saw Gowun after being unconscious for a long time.

Gowun couldn’t do anything and just stood there like a stone statue, only crying. Crying without even a frown, it was heartbreaking but also cute.

At my teasing words, Gowun’s expression became a bit subtle.

“At that time, I failed to fulfill my duty.”

“What duty?”

I asked, puzzled by his slightly serious face.

“I couldn’t protect Your Highness.”

Ah, what are you saying? I laughed and waved my hand.

“It was something no one could have stopped.”

Stopping Giyun itself was a stroke of luck. No matter how skilled Gowun is, there are limits to a child’s body. It wasn’t something a child who is as good as having no ability could prevent.

“If you had gotten hurt for my sake, I would have been even more sad.”

To me, Gowun was closer to a friend than a mere guard. Above all, now that I have Mother, the significance of a strength-focused shadow is nearly gone.

Well, you don’t have to do anything, just grow up well.

“I’m really okay. Okay?”

Even with my consoling words, Gowun still had a sad face, but soon answered that he understood.

* * *

Gowun was standing about two steps away from Sanya, looking at the child.

It was a stiffly hardened habit without much meaning, but Sanya, whose eyes met his, brightly smiled. Gowun shyly avoided the sparkling violet eyes, which was presumptuous of him.

Just now, Gowun had revealed his past to Sanya. It was an impulsive thing, unintentionally brought up upon seeing Sanya find his name in the genealogy book. In the process, he almost cried and trembled in an unsightly manner.

What was he thinking, babbling on about a story his superior wouldn’t even be curious about?

Gowun was embarrassed. Clumsy Gowun saw it as mere impulse, but in fact, it wasn’t quite like that.

To him, Sanya was not simply a princess he had to serve. The kindness and affection she showed to everyone was especially more for Gowun, to the extent that even others noticed, so how much more for himself?

Gowun liked the princess he served. She was dear and precious to him. So to that extent, the sense of loss was great when he couldn’t protect her. He wanted Sanya to be safe, from himself and from others.

That’s why Gowun wanted to become strong. Gowun’s dawn-like gray eyes darkened.