This Isn't Canon! (Or that time I reincarnated into an AU-Naruto)

Space seemed to warp around her as at a mere thought she went from being in her bedroom to the arena inside of the Chunin Exams tower in the center of the Forest of Death. In one smooth motion she scuffed out the temporary Hirashin mark she had put on the ground and leaned against the wall. 'Three... two... one...' 

"SENSEI?!?" 'Aah, there it is.' 

"Nice weather we're having today Sakura, ne?"

"Wha-when did you get here Sensei?!?"

With a roll of her eyes as if it was obvious Naruko pushed herself off the wall. "Why, I've always been here Sakura, see - I bet Sasuke knew, y'know!"

By the blank look on his face and the fact that he was awkwardly looking away from her, he did in fact not know. Which made sense, considering she wasn't - but still! "Tut, tut. It seems my team needs more training. Now, who's this? Wait, wait. Let me guess - his name is Bukashi?"

The kid that DEFINENTLY wasn't Kakashi and was standing with her team awkwardly smiled as he rubbed the back of his head. "Ano Jonin-san. Your team was kind enough to team up with me. My name is actually Mamashi Famake. It's a pleasure to meet you." 

She huffed. "Nice to meet you too kid. Good luck in the preliminaries." Strange, why was he so pale? Oh. That's why.

Staring at the electronic screen on the wall that had appeared at some point, an eyebrow slightly twitched. 'That kind of ruins the point old man, y'know?!?' On the board, for the first match of the preliminaries to see who was worthy of being gawked at by nobles and foreign dignitaries in the finals, two names glowed menacingly. 'Mamashi Famake vs Ku' 

"Well, good luck!" Her gaze turned from the screen towards 'Ku' who was definitely not a Shadow Clone embedded into the Takigakure team that was 'chosen' to pass. 'Poor Kakashi. Damn old man, you want me to be your successor but don't even trust my judgment and plans. Whatever, it's not that big of a deal y'know. Just annoying.' 

As the two 'competitors' hopped into the arena, the genin and their senseis that had made it this far watching them from above, she sighed and leaned against the wall. 

-Hiruzen POV-

His aged face remained blank not showcasing the tempest that stirred deep inside of him, he barely managed to not wring his aged hands around the neck of the Shinobi operating the screen, and who was also deciding the various different matches. 'Naruko-chan is indeed right. The sheer incompetence that has seeped into our forces is unacceptable. It seems like I'll need to adjust my plans slightly since Kakashi will be losing this match.' Would it be optimal for their plans if the Naruko clone lost, as she was far more replaceable in this scenario? Yes. At least, in the short term. 'Ignoring the fact that Naruko would never lose on purpose unless it was some great prank...' The reality was, that having their in the near future Kage lose to someone who externally wasn't at the level to be a Kage candidate would be horrific for their reputation if it ever got out. 'We still don't know how Nagato that willy bastard can break our seals. It's annoying he knows this many of our secrets.' Unseen by everyone he slumped slightly. 

'Well, not every plan can go perfectly. At least we'll be able to get our relevant reinforcements from Takigakure still. After all, it's perfectly reasonable for their Village Head to watch the finals if he has Shinobi in them, and bring along his bodyguard along in the Seven Tails.' 

- 'Mamashi' POV- 

Landing in the arena luckily not drugged, he slumped, hands in pockets. "Maah, any chance you'll forfeit Taki-san?"

"I'm afraid not Konoha-san, my glory must spread throughout the lands, all shall witness my being as my beauty shines upon the final stage as the winner!" 

'What? What the fuck is this personality Naruko?!?' "I see." 'Whatever, I'll just fight a little bit at the Chunin level then lose.' 

"Both contestants are *cough* ready. The match ends when they forfeit, are knocked unconscious, or when I say so. HAJIME!"

In response, he slammed his hands on the ground causing a pack of earthen wolves to rise up from the floor, and charge forward! 'I knew this jutsu when I was a Chunin. What else did I know as a Chunin? Rasengan? No. Don't use that. Aah! I know.' 

-'Ku' POV-

Seeing the twitch in Mamashi's eyes, she inwardly shrugged. 'This isn't me! The person I "procured" this identity from was already like this! It isn't my fault.' 

As the proctor spoke a few words she prepared herself. 'Oh right, I should probably make sure he doesn't die, just in case. It was the Suna Jonin that did it I think, should keep track of him just in case.' It was with those thoughts, that the match started, and she watched blanky as a pack of Earthen Wolves rose from the ground. 'Kami damnit Kakashi! What Genin going into the Chunin exams know how to do that?!? Fuck, whatever!' 

"This is not enough to stifle my glorious light! Feel my blade, Konoha-san!" Drawing a Kunai she turned into a mere blur of speed, within seconds cutting through each of the wolves, only to duck out of the way of multiple beams of electricity, and dive away from a dozen Shuriken. 'Seriously! What the FUCK! Fine'

"If you wish to play this bout with Ninjutsu, then I shall show you by magnificent prowess with it! Fire Style: Goddess's Glory!" As she weaved through signs her cheeks bulged, chakra swelled up, and with a long exhale, a wide bout of flames that covered the entire arena escaped from her - strangely in the shape of a crown. "Behold my majesty!"

-Naruko POV-

She couldn't hold back the pained look on her face as she watched the Jonin-level fight going on in the arena, both combatants maintaining a body flicker mid-combat, yet still managing to spew out Jutsu at a rate that would dry out Chunin within a few moments. "It seems our Chunin candidates are quite excellent this year?"

Nearly everyone in attendance stared at her as she said those awkward and hesitant words, most of their disbelief clear to her. Yet, some were different...

"Gai-sensei! Their youth shines BRIGHLY! It will be a joyous day the day I can fight them!"

"YOSH! Lee, you too shall shine like a star, just like them." 'Well, at least someone isn't suspicious- aah, never mind.' "However, that Mamashi from Takigakure certainly fights like an old friend of mine!" 'Please don-' "I wonder how Bomi-san is doing? It's been over a decade since I last saw him." 'What. Did Kakashi actually base this fighting style off someone from Taki?!?' 

"Pathetic. This is all that it takes to be a Chunin?" 'I forgot about Hinata to be honest. Well, from what I heard she's even stronger than Neji, who is, well Neji. He's just about the biggest genius in OG Naruto... but there's something strange about her. It's weird.' 'Her chakra.' At the rumbled-out words, Naruko subtly nodded. 'I see. You're right, it's too dense. Too potent. No one her age excluding Jinchuriki should have chakra that powerful.' 

Then of course there was the last person, who seemed utterly unperturbed. "Why, of course, you're right Naruko! Why, the last time I saw a preliminary match like this it was the legendary Five-Way Chunin Exams my students participated in!" To accentuate this, he tugged on his aged beard, eyes squinted in joy. 'Kami damn it, Gramps. You're not supposed to add more fuel to the fire.' 

As she expected, after the legendary Hokage, famed for his strength and experience said such words, numerous whispers broke and looks broke out throughout the room, the tension, yet excitement mounting. 

'Hopefully, my clones plans are working out well, because mine certainly aren't.'