This Isn't Canon! (Or that time I reincarnated into an AU-Naruto)

Knocking on the window like a cracked-out monkey a sigh could be heard from the Old Man through it before he said, "Come in Naruko." Shoving open the window, she'd head on into the room before giving a twirl, and an expectant look. 'C'mon, praise me old man! Look at me, the best Chakra Control in the academy!'

Staring at her momentarily, the graying Hiruzen would finally grin a little. "You've done a good job Naruko, it's impressive you've done so well on the Wall Walking Exercise so fast. Especially with the control you've gained so swiftly over the Mind's Eye of Kagura." 'Yes! Praise me more old man. I know I'm the best!'

"But..." 'Oh, c'mon!' "You really shouldn't be calling out my ANBU like that, they're there for your protection you know." In response, Naruko pouted.

"I know, y'know. But it's their fault for never talking to me! Besides, I checked that we were alone first." Hiruzen stared a moment before letting out a sigh and nodding.

"Well, I suppose it's my fault. If they want to talk to you I suppose they can when you're alone." A big smile would appear on Naruko's face. 'Perfect! Sorry Old Man, but that's exactly what I wanted! Not only do I get to talk to people, which for fucks sake is actually hard in this village, but it'll help out training.' "But enough about that, we have something more serious to talk about, sit down my dear."

'Well, this could go either great or poorly.' The gravelly old-man voice of her gramps finally began, "With you unlocking the Mind's Eye of Kagura - which is the name of that sensory Jutsu you're using if you didn't know, I'm sure you noticed a few things." Blinking a few times she'd slowly nod.

"I'd imagine you're quite confused about the chakra inside of you?" 'Aah, this is where this is going.' 

In response to that Naruko would shake her, "Not really, no. I mean no offense considering this is a ninja village but I'm not that stupid." It was kind of the truth too. The younger Naruko had already had all the pieces, but in reality, didn't want to put them together. She didn't want it to be the truth, but then that reality shattered when her older soul and her younger soul collided and merged together. "I'm super mad at you for not telling me when everyone else knew y'know! But uh, I guess I understand? I woulda liked to be told though..." Looking down at the ground a little bit, tears did glisten. It wasn't her acting, but the truth - she was two people combined, and the younger part of her did want to be told by her gramps, and did want to know the truth about herself.

A warm rough hand reached out and ruffled her hair, "I'm sorry Naruko. I know I should have told you, but I didn't want you to be under that burden for a little while longer. The world is at peace for now," 'Lie.' "and you should be able to grow up a little before dealing with that burden." Sniffling a little she looked up at him, and noticed the aged exhausted lines on his face. 'True? Or fake?' Not knowing, and in reality not wanting the answer she'd say,

"Alright gramps, but you better make it up to me, yknow?" A grin would make it across his face.

"Alright, alright. How about this, if you can master something for me, I'll get you a gift, and if you master all of that gift, I'll get you another alright?" Blinking a few times, actually confused and a bit happy she'd say,

"Deal old man! What do I gotta master?" Twitching slightly at the change from being called 'gramps' to 'old man' he'd reach out and ruffle her hair even harder and ignored the look she had on her face.

"Well, what I want you to master my dear is water walking with a leaf stuck on both of your palms, can you do that for me?" Grumbling for a few moments she'd finally nod.

"Deal, but don't touch the hair again y'know! It takes forever to fix." A lighthearted chuckle escaped from him before he canted his head a little bit in agreement.

"Alright, I can do that. Now tell me about your week..." An hour or so passed, and their long conversation and catch-up finally passed. Letting out a groan Hiruzen would slowly stand up his back cracking. "Never get old Naruko, never get old..."

Snorting a little she'd stand up, "Of course not! I'll always be young and dangerous! Not like you, bet you can't even pick up a ramen bowl anymore!" A glint would appear in his eyes.

"Oh? Is that so?" 'Aah, shit.' "In that case, I suppose I couldn't..." Before she could even react she found herself in a training ground unknown to her.

"Mercy?" Staring at him in his Hokage Robes, a glint in his eyes, and knuckles being cracked she couldn't help but gulp.

"No my girl, my names Hiruzen." For a brief moment, she wanted to protest at how bad that joke was, but then a shuriken came flying at her. 

"Eep!" She dove out of the way before her hands rose up to form a cross, and with a poof of smoke, three clones would appear before rushing towards him.

"Oh? Where did you learn that now Naruko!" Yet, he didn't seem phased at all as he calmly began to deflect every blow sent at him by her clones all while lighting his pipe. 'Stop trying to show off! Who are you trying to impress? I know you're strong, y'know!'

Grumbling a bit she'd do the sane option of just remaking the clones every time they popped. 'Oh? Is he?' Realizing striking her for a brief moment a happy little smile would appear on her face, and she'd open up the Mind's Eye of Kagura. 'Tch old man. If you wanted to teach me why didn't you just say s- OH FUCK DODGE!'

Hearing the ghost of a thousand Piccolo's screaming at her to dodge as out of nowhere a bundle of chakra appeared at her feet, she jumped away just in time as a pair of aged hands came out of the dirt. 'Darn old man! He had a clone hiding outside of my range, and the second I used Mind's Eye he had it teleport here and do that! Tch, I get the lesson y'know!'

Grumbling she continued to run away and up into a tree to survey the area, only to twitch slightly. 'Twenty trees, no river, no hills, no grass. Darn old man, what is this, your personal training ground where you show off?'

As wave after wave of memories filled her mind and she sent out more Shadow Clones, she couldn't help but sulk a little. 'In a few years, we'll do this again old man, and it'll be a lot more interesting! Darn ANBU just watching too!' Some time passed where she kept up the same routine. Re-create Shadow Clones, dodge away from moleman gramps, and learn the subtle lessons he was teaching. The way his chakra flowed through his body, the way his chakra impacted her clones, and how he subtly moved, deflected, and dodged. It was all teachings of a master, albeit one he did not state aloud. 

After some time passed and she realized the lesson was winding down, a glint would appear in her eyes. "Free all-you-can-eat Salt-Broiled Saury, and miso-soup if you fight the old man too!" Of course, she meant all-you-can-eat paid for by gramps, but that didn't need to be said out loud!

With her Mind's Eye, she could see one of the ANBU, the one with by far the largest and densest chakra by a very large margin, whose Chakra was always passively draining away before reforming move. 'Gotcha old man.' She could also see as all of her clones popped a look of amusement pass through his eyes and the old man mouthing a, 'Good job.' Before they faded from existence.

Shutting off her Mind's Eye so she could focus on the physical world, all she could see was blurs, the clanging of metal on metal, and lightning clashing with various elements. "How nice of them to arrange for me to watch fireworks, y'know!" In response a hand would ruffle her hair, and she'd look up to find Hiruzen standing on the tree branch next to her, hands clasped behind his back. "Aah, oops?"

A snort would escape from his lips. "It was a good tactic, but sadly Fox can't distract me Naruko." She shrugged in response.

"I didn't think so, but even before awakening Mind's Eye I remembered his chakra, and wanted to see him fight. Hey, hey, old man. He has the strongest Chakra I've sensed besides yourself, crow-chan, and that big guy who can eat as much food as me!"

His lips would twitch slightly, "Their names are Itachi Uchiha and Choza Akimchi Naruko. If you see 'crow-chan' again, make sure you come find me, okay?" She'd nod.

"Oh, I should probably tell you I met him today then! He's pretty good at Genjutsu, y'know!" The look of amused horror was positively amazing. "Hey, old man, don't die on me now! It's alright, we just ate dango and talked about world domination."

A sigh would escape him. "He's a Missing-Nin Naruko." She'd snort before nodding her head.

"Sure old man." Before muttering, "Like anyone with a brain wouldn't realize what happened..."

The biggest groan she had ever heard escaped from Hiruzen's mouth. "Your intelligence is sometimes astounding, and sometimes has me wondering if you could get yourself out of a box Naruko. Just, stay away from him please."

"Sure, sure. Hey, you think I could get him to teach me that Genjutsu he used on my guards?"

-Hiruzen-

Standing on top of his former successor's head and looking down at the village he couldn't help but ruminate on his meeting with Naruko. 'She has both the best and worst qualities of Minato and Kushina. Her intelligence when she focuses can be astounding but when she doesn't...' He'd let out a sigh for the nth time that day. 'Well, she's young. But to think she realized what actually happened with just a mere fragment of the information. Is that her, or Minato shining through?' He couldn't answer that, no one, apart from Minato and maybe Naruko herself.

"What did you think of her Fox?" A moment passed before,

"She's played everyone like a fiddle. She's far more intelligent than she's letting anyone realize, and more than likely every single time she 'accidentally' does something, it's on purpose. She thrives off the chaos and the reactions she gets from people."

"That sounds like someone else I know Fox." There was no response for a moment so he added, "Her capabilities?"

The neutral voice of Fox was ever-so-slightly faster as he said, "Impressive considering the fact that she has no proper training. But absurdly far below what she should be at." He'd nod, understanding that this wasn't a critique against her, but instead himself.

"Do you blame me for not giving her a tutor?" A moment passed before,

"No. But the ANBU guarding her should have been allowed to at least teach her the basics." He thought for a little bit before agreeing. As usual, Kakashi was spot on. "You'll be her sensei in a few years. But with those Shadow Clones and those two scrolls, she'll be getting, you better train a bit more Fox. Wouldn't want you having nothing to teach, would we?"

He could feel the man's chakra for a brief moment roil inside of him, and a small unseen grin would cross his fair. 'Aah, isn't everything coming together perfectly? Indeed Danzo, if this works out I'll be the winner of this competition.'