This Isn't Canon! (Or that time I reincarnated into an AU-Naruto)

TW: Orochimaru's POV in this chapter.

-Ino POV- 

Looking over at the older Genin who was currently showing off his Ninja Info cards, Ino remained outwardly interested in all the information he was showing off, even while on the inside she was deeply thinking. 'How did he get this? Unless... he's actually a proctor?'  

POOF!

Smoke filled the room as proctor after proctor appeared, and as shouting and yelling came about, her eyes darted towards the Genin named Kabuto who seemed just as startled as everyone else... 'Where did the cards go?' 

At that realization, a smirk settled on her face, even as she followed instructions to find her seat. 'So he is a proctor.' 

-Shino POV-

Sitting in his seat, he'd adjust his glasses slightly, even as he internally soothed his colony. 'Calm down little ones, I know she's nearby.' His colony sensed the impossibly potent chakra of their 'progenitor' and as such had like usual been antsy, but as usual, he slowly managed to calm them.

'Go check the exam papers for me, and don't look for her.' With his order spread through his internal thoughts, chakra, and pheromones a few Kikaichu flew out of his skin and across the exam room. Bigger, redder, and much more deadly than the normal variant. 'Luckily, they are also just as stealthy as Naruko as well. Father is right, this truly will be one of the Aburame clan's deadliest weapons. Thank you, my friend.' 

-Shikamaru POV- 

SNZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ blearily blinking, Shikamaru looked around for a moment before focusing on the clock. 'I should probably answer these questions, or else mom will kill me...' shivering at that, he quickly glanced down at the paper, and in less than a minute answered all nine questions before placing his head on the desk again. 'Sweet, sweet, sleep.' 

-Kabuto Yakushi- 

He had to stop his lips from curling up at the oh-so-obvious glances upon him, not just from Genin trying to steal his test answers, but also from the proctors. 'Really, these ANBU are too obvious, training has truly slacked.'  His glasses glinted in the light as he slowly, lazily, and clearly wrote down the answers, perfect for anyone wishing to cheat off him. After all, he was just doing his job for Konoha, wasn't he?

'After all Konoha... all you have is suspicions, suspicions that won't matter in just a short month. Even if you do something... what can you do with Lord Orochimaru and Kimimaro here?'  Kabuto's eyes flashed at that thought. 'Soon, Konoha shall fall and Danzo shall be punished.' 

-Gaara- 

He stood in the midst of a desert of incalculable size, a titanic Tanuki made out of sand and cursed energy looming in front of him, a snarl leaving its sanded lips.

Gaara remained unmoved. "What do you wish Shukaku?" His voice was droll, with a hint of impatience. "You know I'm in the middle of this exam."

"There are MORE IMPORTANT THINGS!" Shukaku's high-pitched screech sent shockwaves buffeting the area, a sandstorm picking up just from his voice, yet still - Gaara remained motionless. 

"Then say what they are." Like a stone-cold machine, he remained unmoved, far too used to Shukaku's screeching.

"I'M TRYING YOU BUFFOON!" Shukaku leaned down, his titanic belly not hindering him at all, as star-like yellow eyes seared into Gaara's. "Konoha's Jinchuriki, their chakra isn't right! I've only sensed chakra like this a few times." 

Gaara stared for a few moments before his eyes narrowed confusion only barely visible across his stone-like features. "Explain Shukaku."

The great desert's sands shifted before Shukaku sighed. "I sense...."

.

.

.

Gaara's eyes snapped open, and he found himself once more in the Exam Room for the Chunin Exams. A heavy frown was hidden by his sand armor, even as he picked up his writing implement and slowly and methodically began to answer the questions, a hidden sand eyeball letting him copy off other's exam papers. 'How could...' 

-??????-

Reaching out, his hand snaked the scroll out of the blonde's arms, and he let out a hum before sitting down on the tree branch next to her. "Interesting, slightly wrong in theory - but still interesting." His voice was silky smooth and young like a well-educated young man having hit the prime of his life.

The young girl, barely a teen sneered at him. "I know, it wasn't written by me."

He hummed, yellow-slitted eyes perusing the scroll again. "Yes, your father's handiwork no doubt Naruko. Truly, he understands many things well, but the soul is not one of them. This is... sloppy work. Incredibly inefficient."

Naruko snorted. "Played often with souls Orochimaru? Perhaps as part of your immortality and the Edo Tensei?" Vibrant blue eyes met his own yellow, and a fanged grin spread across his face.

"Quite. Tell me, you're studying this in the vein hope of stopping me from using Edo Tensei?"

A quiet laughter wracked Naruko's frame as she smiled wide, perfect white teeth slightly sharp and fanged if one had as good of eyesight as Orochimaru did. "No, no. That would be foolish. I can sense your chakra this close, that white little plant person I believe you've taken over. Zetsu was his name? He makes your chakra quite potent and unique. There'd be no way for me to forcibly stop it unless I make you do it physically. No, just some last-minute research. I'm sure you'll love the surprise."

Orochimaru let out a hissing laugh, his too-long tongue slipping out to lick his lips. "I'm sure I'll be surprised. After all, Konoha's already surprised me once with that Jutsu of Jiraiya's. Maybe you'll give me something good this time as well?"

An orange nail slowly dragged across his face causing a thick black liquid to leak, even as Naruko's smile got slightly too wide. "Oh, it will. Now get this clone out of my face Orochimaru or else I'll hunt you down and end this game early... y'know?" She ended the last part with a 'cute' little head tilt.

In response, he cackled even as that tiny little delicate orange-tipped finger shoved its way through his eye, into his brain, and out of his skull. 

A moment later he turned into mud.

---

As the surge of memories appeared in Orochimaru's mind, he let out a mirthful chuckle, even as he was in one of his labs elbow-deep in someone's chest cavity. "She's only getting more interesting. Truly, does she think that will work? Mhm... actually - it might?" He paused, eyes lighting up. "Oh, it truly WILL be interesting if it works. Imagine the shock on everyone's face when it happens. Kukukukuku it will truly be impressive if she manages to pull it off. To think the Edo Tensei could be used like that? Oh, so specific, so unique, and yet so fitting. Perhaps I can use this to avoid that dreaded seal?"

His eyes gained a hint of curiosity, and he moved his arms out of person, ignoring their still screeching, really. It wasn't THAT bad being dissected alive. "Now you wait a second, I have something to try on you - do your best to hold on."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!"