Threadbare

It was odd, to see Cotton Tale full up on crew once more.

Not only had many of the pirates captured during their raid on Cylvania been hastily released from prison, waystoned to the front, and reunited with the survivors, but several nautical-minded Belltollian soldiers had been detailed to fill the empty berths. True, many of them were training on the job, but Harey Karey and Stormanorm III were both up to the task.

And Anne Bunny, she was grinning to see them go, golden buckteeth shining in the sunlight as she spun the wheel with happy abandon and the new Pirates screamed and held on for dear life.

"Grind them sea legs! Ha ha ha harrrr!" Anne belted out, jolly as a roger in port. At least that was what Buttons had called her attitude, and Zuula had snickered at it, so it was probably a pretty good analogy.

After watching the crew skill up for a bit, Threadbare went down into the now-familiar hold, to see how his friends were doing. There was little time to waste; after the training run was done, they'd be straight into the mission.

He found the primary team where he'd left them; in the hold, with golden wards sizzling and crackling as they danced in midair, blocking out scrying. Aunarox said they would keep the gods themselves blind; he didn't know about that, but Chase had confirmed that her Oracular sight did nothing while she was in there, so it was at the very least, effective for their purposes.

And right now their purposes seemed to involve sifting through a huge pile of what looked like magical items.

"Oh good, now we don't have to go find you," Chase said to him, as she tied a black scarf that glittered with diamond constellations.

"Yeah, when I left Eidolon I raided their armory. And Aunarox has been sitting on a bunch of stuff. So we decided that you guys needed some upgrades," LivingDeadGrrl gestured at the pile. "The djinn can identify anything if you're curious."

"No need. I can do that too. Appraise." He wandered around the edge of the pile, watching his friends take their gifts. He figured he'd let them have first pick and see what was left over.

That strategy died immediately as Cagna shot Madeline a look. "He's doing the thing, isn't he?"

"Totally doing the thang," Madeline drawled.

Cagna shook her head, and flipped a coing to Madeline.

"Oh just start grabbing," Chase said. "You deserve upgrades too. And we don't have that far to go, so you don't want to get stuck figuring out a lot of strange items at the last minute."

"That does make sense," Threadbare said. But nonetheless, he couldn't help but watch his friends and share in their happiness, as they found things that suited them.

Zuula got herself a circlet made of something called Adam-Antium. Its King of the Wild Frontier effect seemed to boost all her beast-related shapes and skills. Her minor accessories focused on amplifying her healing and elemental skills.

Thomasi got a flame whip, that had an odd enchantment that allowed it to break candles and loose stone, and occasionally turn them into cooked pork chops. It... might be useful? Thomasi and LivingDeadGrrl shared a laugh over it, for whatever reason. His other items focused on boosting his ability to dodge, which seemed reasonable for a person who focused on talking his way out of problems.

Chase got a Headscarf of Celestial Convergence, which let her activate foresight for free every ten seconds. That seemed very, very powerful, and the fact that the item's name shimmered with rainbow hues to his evaluate skill told him it was probably the most powerful thing in the pile. She didn't grab many other minor items, perhaps out of guilt of taking something extremely powerful. The things she did grab were all based around boosting her stamina and hit points.

Madeline got a full matching set of jewelry; earrings, a necklace, a tiara, a pair of rings, and ankle braclets, all dubbed "Of the Silent." The set bonus when brought together gave her incredible stealth skill. Not quite up to the level of the villagers, who had declined to pull from the pile, but still remarkably high. She didn't take any minor support items. Her draconic nature made juggling lots of little things tricky.

Cagna got a multi-barreled gun called an Evolver. The more it was used to attack someone, the better it got at getting through their defenses. It was beautifully made, too, on par with the most advanced dwarven engineering he'd ever seen. She also doubled down on items that let her detect things, and sense trouble coming.

And Renny got a ring of invisibility called the Token Macguffin. It had some strange runes on the back of it, and came with a curse that extended one's lifespan at the cost of withering their body. And promised the eventual attention of a dark lord of some sort within the next century or two. And made the user covetous of the ring, to boot.

"You're sure you want to put that on?" LivingDeadGrrl asked. "It didn't go so well for the guys in the movie."

"It's a curse," Chase said, rummaging around in her pockets. "Give me a second. Renny, give it a whirl."

He popped out of sight, then came back with the ring in his paw, considering it. "It IS rather shiny, isn't it?"

"Diagnose. Yep, there it is," Chase said, pulling out a jar of worms, and cracking them open. "Give me your paw, please. Absorb Condition. Transfer Condition."

Instantly, the worm she was touching tried to crawl up her finger to get closer to the ring, and she dropped it back in the jar and sealed it again. "You're clear. We'll just have to do that after every use."

"What a pathetic dark lord," Zuula griped. "Can't even make an evil ring proper! At least give it a curse an Oracle can't beat wit' first level skills. You know what? Maybe you don't remove it, and we go kick dark lord's ass when he show up. Probably wort' some good experience."

"Eh, I wouldn't recommend it," Thomasi said. "You'd probably have to go on a ridiculously long journey through a place where the trees are the most interesting thing around."

"Zuula a Shaman. Don't t'reaten her with a good time."

But while all this was going on, Threadbare wasn't idle. He was doing his own sorting, and at the end of it he thought he'd made some good choices.

The Mana-mana battery was a square block of slate that acted as a supply of one hundred sanity, that the holder could use to cast skills from. It recharged whenever someone doodled on it. This also amused Thomasi and LivingDeadGrrl, and the rather incomprehensible explanation had something to do with puppet golems in their home world.

The Minion Master's Mantle was a bright yellow cape, and had a monocle attached to it, but the monocle was right in the middle of the chain, and seemed to fit best above his eyes. It granted any of his summoned minions a massive bonus to their abilities, so long as they were the only minion he was controlling. He had a plan for that item, if it came down to it.

And the final thing he got out of the deal was something he didn't want to take, but the others insisted. It was a collapsible kite, that let the wearer glide through the air.

"Look. Yah gaht the most obvious sause of healing fah us gahlem types, so this'll help ya stay in range of us," Madeline told him. "And if you fall from too high it's game ovah. Most of the rest of us gaht ways around that, already. Potions of flahing fah the living ones, and means of ah own fah the rest of us. Except you. Take it, take it!"

"That one's tricky, anyway," LivingDeadGrrl told him. "You don't fly, you just glide. And you need to train up the fly skill to get any small measure of control over it."

"And this is where I might perhaps be of assistance, oh skyward soul," Aunarox said, speaking up for the first time as she turned a mildly-amused smile onto Threadbare. "Would you like some practice before we set out into this supremely suspenseful situation?"

"Er... yes, please—"

"No!" Thomasi said. "Never take an offer from a djinn without... bargaining..."

Thomasi's voice slowed as he was talking to nothing. A whirlwind had caught Threadbare up, and swept him up the stairs and out of sight."

"Oh bothah," said Madeline, and clattered after him, spreading her wings as she got up onto the deck, and hurling herself after a rapidly-diminishing teddy-bear shaped speck in the distance.

Meanwhile, Threadbare, quite disoriented, looked around and realized two things.

Firstly, that Aunarox was hovering next to him, offering him the little kite with both hands.

And secondly, that the ground was approaching very, very quickly.

"You're not going to help me out if I crash, are you?" he asked Aunarox.

"Nope," she smiled a flawless, cloud-white smile.

Threadbare took the kite, strapped it on, and did his best to try not to die.

Your Actions have unlocked the generic skill: Fly!

Your Fly skill is now level 1!

Your Fly skill is now level 2!

Your Fly skill is now level 3!

Your Fly skill is now level 4!

Your Fly skill is now level 5!

That was enough to slow his fall, so he bounced instead of splatting.

Picking himself up, and tucking his stuffing back into burst seams, he glanced up to find a red '242' floating up toward a laughing and descending Aunarox.

"Oh. Dear," he said, poking at a damaged eye. "I suppose I'd better Mend Golllleeeemmmmmm..." he said, as she summoned a tornado and whirled him up into the sky again.

Briefly.

Three levels of the Mend Golem skill, forty-seven levels of flight, and one very angry Madeline later the three of them returned to the airship, which was circling them slowly and observing the situation. Aunarox put forward the idea of training up even more by dodging cannon fire, but Madeline shot that notion down quickly.

When he got back to the ship, escorted by a giggling djinn and a rather dour wooden dragon, he saw the Phantom watching from the railing, along with a good amount of crew. The crew got back to work as Anne shouted at them to stop lollygagging, but the Phantom paid her no mind.

"Not bad for a first flight, Mister Bear."

"Thank you. Have you flown before?"

"When I was in my old body, occasionally. I always viewed it as cheating, though. I much preferred wire-work, and special effects. But I have not flown since starting this new chapter of my existence. The skill languishes until such time as I have need of it once more."

"Have you been finding it a big adjustment?" Threadbare asked, wiggling over the railing and folding the kite carefully away as he stepped onto the deck.

"Oh, yes. My aged brain had seized upon quite a few delusions and developed any number of infirmities. You know they say that the age brings wisdom? Well it does, but only because you have to stop and double-check your own mind every now and then, to ensure that your thoughts and memories retain accuracy. This... this brain in my head shall never degrade. Yet my intelligence should only improve, so long as I keep an active mind. The downside is that I shall not forget a single thing; thus my duty is to avoid further regrets."

"Oh, that reminds me," Threadbare said. "Regrets. We were dividing up magical items earlier. We should have asked you if you wanted anything."

The Phantom joined him as he walked back to the hold. "I think not. I used the resources of my nation to equip myself long ago. Besides, when one relies upon too many items, it tends to make one hesitate. When a myriad of solutions can be applied to a problem, you can let the moment slip by as you anguish over your choices. That's what I have found. Far better to know yourself and rely upon your own skills."

"I don't know about that," Threadbare said. "I think it's better to have a good idea of what you're going into before you get there, that way you can know what to do beforehand."

"Which works so long as your intelligence is accurate. Oftentimes, that's a luxury we are not given. Ah, I'm going on. My apologies once more, Mister Bear."

"None needed." Threadbare peered around. Stormanorm was manning the helm, but he didn't see any sign of Anne Bunny. "Should we get going? Are we going to be underway, soon?"

"I believe your Oracle is casting her final divinations now. Shall we check in upon her workings?"

"Let's."

It was fascinating, walking with the Phantom and watching the crew doing their best not to seem like they were staring at him. He fascinated every one of them, and they couldn't hide that. The original pirates, the beastfolk from overseas, looked at him with a raw carnal hunger that even a golem could pick up on. The Belltolian recruits, on the other hand, were struck by something very much like religious ecstasy.

Threadbare thought back to legends, and how he was one for his country. No one had looked at him the way they did the Phantom, but then, the man's charisma was undeniable.

And thinking it over, he was fine with not receiving the same level of attention that the Phantom got. He thought it would be very distracting, and make it hard to get small things done. Since he was a small thing, he knew full well the importance of small things and how they added up to very important things. No, he wouldn't want the same sort of legend that the Phantom had. He was perfectly find with his own little one, all things being equal.

They found Chase in the forecastle cabin, cleaning up her cards. The look on her face was not optimistic.

"What's wrong?" Threadbare asked her.

"Eh... let's get back to the wards," she said.

Once inside, and the rest of the infiltration team was reassembled from the rest of the ship, she gave them the bad news.

"The cards say that the more complicated we make this, the worse our chances of success."

"Okay, that's a prahblam," said Madeline. "Because what yah told us about theah defenses sounds really cahmplicated, LivingDeadGahl."

"Yeah. Well let's step out the plan, bit by bit, and figure out what we can simplify," she said. "Thomasi, I'm gonna need some clowns, this is gonna take a while."

"Of course. Let's step off so you can eat in private," he offered her his arm, and she snorted, shook her head, and strode off toward the privacy of a cabin while he followed, chuckling.

When she got back, they talked it out.

For about an hour.

"Okay. So weah gonna have to land the airship and go on foot, because the outah ring of towahs has lightning generators— "

"Tesla coils," Thomasi supplied.

"Those things. And we can't just fly way over and drop, because that'll trigger the shield against dragons."

"Right," LivingDeadGrrl said. "And once we're past that wall, we'd have to navigate through the residential towers before we get to the stronghold, and since you all want to minimize collateral damage, the airship's a no-go..."

Twenty minutes later they were sorting out the defenses on the outer wall of the stronghold. "...which if you'll look at this diagram, we'll have to navigate a shifting maze to get through, and we'll be beset by patrols and ambushes at chokepoints. Also random murder holes in the ceiling..."

And five minutes past that, Threadbare had enough. He walked over to the scribbled notes that Cagna was placing on her corkboard, and ripped away half of them.

The cargo hold fell silent.

"Threadbare, sir?" Renny asked, uncertainly.

"I'm not mad," Threadbare said. "But I have thought of a way to simplify things."

"We're listening," LivingDeadGrrl said, squinting at him suspicously.

"We sneak into Eidolon, get to the outer wall of the stronghold, and then bash through it with overwhelming force until we reach the arcane vault."

There was a long pause, as his friends looked at each other uncertainly.

"Perhaps you have missed the dolorous defenses arrayed against just such a strategy?" Aunarox asked.

"Oh I didn't miss them. But they won't matter. I have a thing I've been saving for just such an occasion..."