Chapter 19: Practice (2)
Sen had the feeling that his days of general rest were just about over. He still grew tired more easily than he’d like, but it wasn’t as bad as it had been. For those first two days, everything felt like an effort. After his conversation with Uncle Kho, he kept wondering about the outside world and if he would ever be ready to face it. Master Feng had certainly taught him plenty about how to protect himself and meant to teach him more. Still, all those skills wouldn’t mean anything if he ran across cultivators who were more easily offended than Master Feng and Uncle Kho. Was the risk worth the reward? Uncle Kho had made it sound like it could be. He’d said that danger and opportunity went together. Of course, that probably mattered more if you were brave. Sen didn’t feel terribly brave most days.
He consoled himself with the thought that he probably wouldn’t need to really worry about any of those things for a long time. Master Feng clearly intended to train him to some level that the old man had in his head. Sen didn’t think he was at risk of meeting that level any time in the next couple of years. Although, there was Uncle Kho to think about. Feng had basically invited himself and Sen to stay. Uncle Kho didn’t seem to mind, but Sen vaguely remembered talk of Uncle Kho’s wife. If or when she returned, she might not want Feng and Sen hanging around. If that happened, would Feng go off to sit in a cave somewhere? Would he expect Sen to sit around outside the cave? Maybe Feng would simply head out into the kingdom. Sen had heard about wandering cultivators.
Sen was so distracted by those thoughts that he slipped on the packed snow and went tumbling. When he came to a stop, Sen let his head drop back. That only lasted for a few seconds before the back of his head was soaked by melting snow. He forced himself to stand and leaned against the wall around the manor. Most days, the packed snow wasn’t a problem. It wasn’t like Sen wasn’t aware of it, his feet having done most of the work of pounding the snow down into an icelike sheet. His balance was good enough that the slippery surface wasn’t really a problem, most days. With the end of his daily laps in sight, though, the fatigue was setting in. When he got tired, his reflexes and balance suffered.
Sen looked around and found the ghost panther staring at him. He’d gotten to know the panther’s expressions over the last half year, or so he thought. The beast’s gaze was intense, yet there was something else there. If I didn’t know better, I’d think that she looks baffled, thought Sen. The two just stood there for a long moment, looking at each other over the snowy ground. Then, the big cat came over and stood in front of him. He looked down at her curiously. She was staring right at his middle. He checked his clothing, thinking that he might have landed in something unpleasant. Aside from some damp cloth, there was nothing. The panther looked up at him, and then back at his middle. Sen understood that she was trying to make him notice something, but he couldn’t figure out what.
The next look the cat gave him was one he recognized immediately as exasperation. She leaned forward, bumped her head against his middle, and gave him an expectant look. He blinked down at her before he reached out to rub her head. The cat let him, for a few seconds, before she bumped his middle again. Sen wondered if the cat thought he needed to eat.
“We’re almost done. Then it’ll be time to eat,” he said.
The ghost panther made a huffing noise. Then, very slowly, the cat lifted a paw and extended a claw. She poked at his belly button. It was a gentle enough poke that it tickled a little. Sen had to work hard to keep from laughing. Curious, though, he reached down and pressed a couple of fingers against the same spot. That made him think of that warm ball that he felt there sometimes. His awareness of it came and went. He was most aware of it while practicing the things that Master Feng taught him. Well, then, and when he’d taken that pill. A lot of him thought he was just imagining it. Still, for the ghost panther to pick out that specific spot. It strained even Sen’s underdeveloped sense of coincidence.
Sen let his mind sink inside of him. It still half felt like he was imagining it, but he decided that there was no real harm. He found that warm ball inside of him and looked it over. That spot inside of him had felt all but empty after the purge, but now the spot looked full. Rather, it looked full if a dense mist of silvery light could fill something up. With the ball in sight, Sen wasn’t really sure what came next. If he wasn’t simply seeing more in the cat’s actions than were really there, she meant for him to do something with this ball. Not sure what else he could do, Sen reached out with his mind and poked the mist. The ball roiled a little. Sen watched as those channels he’d seen before briefly lit up as threads of the mist passed out into them. A burst of energy shot through Sen’s entire body. It startled him so much that he found himself staring down at the ghost panther. The cat looked up at him with a very smug look in her eyes. Even as he gazed down at the beast in shock and amazement, he could feel that burst of energy wearing off. The cat bumped his stomach with her head again.
Sen didn’t think that standing around outside in the cold while he imagined the inside of his body was a smart move. While he’d gotten used to the cold, he was pretty sure that he’d still freeze to death if he just stood motionless in the winter weather. Rather than pushing his mind inside, he tried to feel around inside for that ball. It was a lot easier than expected. He gave it another little poke and was rewarded with another burst of energy. He let out a joyful laugh and started running again. Soon, though, he was sagging under the weight of exhaustion. He stopped running and glared down at his stomach. He could pay attention to that ball and to running. At least, he’d never tried to do anything like that before.
Setting out at a slower pace, he kept poking at that ball whenever he felt weariness starting to wash over him again. He soon realized that his approach was not an ideal solution. In fact, he was confident that his approach wasn’t what the cat had intended based on the looks she kept giving him. For one thing, it was hard to split his attention that way. He constantly ran the risk of falling because he wasn’t paying enough attention to his body. Even worse, the process was unpredictable. If he poked too hard at the ball, it sent so much energy into him that he felt like he might explode. If he didn’t poke hard enough, the extra energy only lasted for a little while. Sen came to another stop. He decided that, while it might not be the best solution, it was the solution he had at hand. He could practice with it and figure out something better after he finished running.