I want to become a killer

The weeks that followed were a whirlwind of decisions, alliances, and strategies. The city was no longer a battlefield; it was a canvas, waiting for the stroke of the brush that would define its new form. And yet, the more I tried to shape it, the more I realized that it wasn't just the city that needed rebuilding—it was the very idea of leadership itself.

I had seen the chaos, the blood, the destruction, and I had believed that through it, I could create something better, something more enduring. But as I stood in the heart of the new government building, looking out over the city I had fought to claim, I couldn't shake the sense of uncertainty that gnawed at me.

Mara was right—power without direction was nothing. But what did I want to give them? What did I really want to build? The question had become a constant shadow, haunting every decision, every meeting. My mind swirled with the possibilities, with the consequences of every move I made.

"Is this really what we wanted?" I asked, my voice quiet, almost lost in the vastness of the room.

Mara had joined me on the balcony, her usual quiet presence a steady anchor in the storm of thoughts racing through my mind. She leaned against the railing, her eyes scanning the horizon, watching the city stretch out before us.

"It's what we needed," she replied, her tone matter-of-fact. "This wasn't about want, Psychobi. It was about survival. The old system was corrupt. And now we've created something new. We can't second-guess ourselves."

I turned to her, feeling a wave of frustration rising. "But I didn't just want to survive, Mara. I wanted to change things—to make the world different, better. I wanted a future. And I'm starting to wonder if I've built just another prison, one that's even worse than the last."

Mara met my gaze, her eyes steady, unflinching. "You're not the first person to think that. But the difference is, we have the chance to make it better. We have the power to create something real. And that's more than anyone has ever had before."

"But I'm not sure I know how," I muttered. "What if I'm just repeating history? What if I become the very thing I swore to destroy?"

She smiled, a glimmer of something almost proud in her expression. "You've already created something, Psycho. The people are with you. They believe in you. And you've proven that you can lead. That's more than most ever achieve."

Her words, as always, were a double-edged sword. They gave me comfort, but they also weighed heavy on my conscience. I had come so far, and yet, it felt like I was walking a tightrope, one misstep away from falling into the same darkness that had driven me to this point in the first place.

I leaned against the railing, my mind racing. What had I truly built? A society, a world, a future? Or had I simply destroyed one illusion and replaced it with another? Was I the savior they believed me to be, or was I just a new tyrant in the making, hiding behind a mask of revolution?

"Mara," I said quietly, "what if this isn't enough? What if the people are just following me because they have nowhere else to go?"

She pushed herself off the railing, stepping closer to me. "Then it's your job to give them more. You're not just a figurehead, Psycho. You're a leader. And leaders don't just hold power—they shape it. You're the one who defines what this world will be. You can't let fear of becoming something else stop you from becoming what the people need."

I felt the weight of her words settle heavily in my chest. It wasn't just about me anymore. The future wasn't just my own—it belonged to the people who had placed their trust in me. And with that trust came a responsibility that I couldn't ignore.

"I've already crossed the line," I said, more to myself than to her. "There's no going back now. The world is mine to shape, and I have to do it right."

Mara's eyes softened, a rare moment of understanding passing between us. "You don't have to do it alone, you know. You have me."

I nodded, though the feeling of isolation still lingered. She had been by my side through everything—the rise to power, the revolution, the aftermath. But the burden of leadership was something only I could bear. And it was one I wasn't sure I was ready for.

We stood there in silence for a long time, watching the city breathe beneath us. The people were restless, hungry for the change we had promised, but still unsure of what it would look like. They had placed their hope in me. But could I deliver? Could I create a world that wasn't built on lies, on blood, on the very things I had spent my life fighting against?

"We need to act fast," I said finally, breaking the silence. "We can't wait for them to tell us what they want. We need to show them what we can give them. We need to give them a purpose, a reason to believe in this new world."

Mara's smile returned, colder now, more assured. "Then let's show them. Let's show them that we can give them what no one else ever has. A chance at something real."

I turned back to face the city, feeling the fire of determination kindle deep within me. This wasn't just about surviving anymore. It was about creating something lasting. A world that wasn't built on the ashes of the old one, but one that could rise from them.

I had the power. The people were behind me. And together, we would reshape the future.

But even as the thought settled into my mind, I knew it wouldn't be easy. The road ahead was uncertain, and the challenges would be immense. But I had come this far. There was no turning back now.

The revolution had only been the beginning. Now, it was time to make it last.

________________________

Jabrane

pa treon /Jabrane

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