I want to become a killer

The city was quiet in the early hours of the morning, the kind of silence that only comes after a storm has passed. It was a strange sort of peace, like the calm before another inevitable upheaval. People had begun to rebuild, to hope again, but deep down, I knew this was only the beginning. The cracks in the foundation of the new world were still there, unseen by most, but I could feel them. It was only a matter of time before something would break.

Mara and I had worked tirelessly to establish the new laws—laws that were supposed to protect the people while ensuring that the chaos of the past would never return. We had made strides, but every decision felt like walking a tightrope, one misstep away from falling into the same traps we had fought so hard to destroy. I had promised a better world, but I was beginning to question whether I could deliver on that promise.

I often found myself standing on the balcony of the government building, looking out over the city. The streets below were filled with people going about their daily lives, but I couldn't shake the feeling that I was still watching from the outside. There was a distance between me and them, a barrier I couldn't quite explain. It was as if I was always looking at them through a glass, unable to truly connect.

"What are you thinking about?" Mara's voice broke through my thoughts, and I turned to see her standing in the doorway, her expression unreadable.

"I'm thinking about everything," I replied, my gaze returning to the city below. "About how much we've done, but how much is still left. About how fragile all of this is."

She stepped onto the balcony, leaning against the railing beside me. "I know," she said softly. "But we're not the ones who are fragile anymore. We've built something. Now we need to protect it."

"Protect it?" I repeated, almost bitterly. "How do you protect something that might be as broken as the system we replaced? We've made progress, but what if it's all an illusion? What if I'm no different from the tyrants I replaced?"

Mara's eyes narrowed slightly, and she studied me for a long moment. Then, she reached out, placing a hand on my shoulder, her touch steady and reassuring. "The difference between us and them, Psycho, is that we're trying. We're not perfect. We're not always sure. But we're not letting fear stop us from doing what needs to be done. And that's what counts."

I turned to face her, feeling the weight of her words settle deep within me. "I didn't ask for this, you know. I didn't ask to be the one people turn to for answers. I didn't ask for them to see me as some kind of savior. But now... I feel like I have to be. I have to be something. I have to be enough."

"You are enough," she said firmly. "You always have been. But this? This is about more than just you. It's about us. About all of us. You gave people a chance to believe again. Now we have to make sure we don't betray that trust."

Her words were simple, but they cut through the noise in my mind like a blade. She was right, as she always was. This was bigger than me, bigger than any one individual. It was about creating something that could endure, something that wasn't reliant on one person to hold it up.

I had created a movement, a revolution, but it was time for me to realize that the movement wasn't mine anymore. It belonged to the people. I had promised them freedom, opportunity, and a chance to thrive. It wasn't just about holding power—it was about sharing it.

"I've been thinking a lot about power lately," I said quietly, turning my gaze back to the city. "About what it really means. What it means to be a leader. I've taken so much from people to get here. Their trust. Their loyalty. But... I don't know if I've earned it."

Mara was silent for a long time before she spoke again. "You've earned it because you're not afraid to question yourself. You're not afraid to ask what comes next. The hardest thing for a leader to do is admit they don't have all the answers. But that's what makes you different. That's what makes you human. And that's what people need right now. Not a god, but someone who is willing to stand alongside them, to build with them."

I felt the heaviness in her words settle around me, a weight that was both comforting and suffocating. The truth was, I had been afraid. Afraid of the responsibility, of the expectations. Afraid of becoming a dictator, a monster. But what if I wasn't meant to lead alone? What if I was meant to lead with them, to walk this path together?

"I don't know how to build a future, Mara," I said, my voice cracking slightly. "But I do know that I can't do it alone."

She smiled, the kind of smile that was both a challenge and an affirmation. "Then you don't have to. We do it together. All of us. We shape this world together, and we make sure it's a place where no one has to live in fear of the people in charge again."

Her words rang true, and for the first time in a long time, I felt a spark of hope. Maybe I wasn't alone in this. Maybe the answer wasn't in my hands alone. Maybe it was in the collective hands of the people who had fought for this moment. It was up to all of us to build the future, not just me. And for the first time, I felt like that might actually be possible.

The next few days were a blur of action. I spoke to the people more than I had before, not as a leader with all the answers, but as a man who was willing to listen, who was willing to help guide them, but not control them. We worked together to build the foundation of the new government, one that didn't rely on any one person but on a system that could survive without falling apart.

The fear inside me didn't disappear, but it became easier to bear. I still didn't know all the answers. I still didn't know if I was the right person for the job. But I had something now that I hadn't had before—faith. Not just in myself, but in the people I was leading.

We were building something real, and it was going to take time, effort, and sacrifice. But it was possible. And that, for the first time, felt like enough.

As I stood there on the balcony that evening, the city buzzing with life beneath me, I realized that the revolution wasn't over. It was only just beginning. And this time, we were going to build it right. Together.

________________________

Jabrane

pa treon /Jabrane

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