Chapter 30 - Don’t Recklessly Blame Life
Tock-
“…Ugh…”
Tock-
Tock-
“………”
I was definitely awake, but my mind felt like it was floating somewhere as if I was dreaming. But even that feeling faded quickly.
“…Ah…”
Somehow, I managed to sit up and grab my phone. It was 6 o’clock.
Tock-
A cold drop of liquid fell onto my cheek. When I wiped it with my hand, it turned out to be clear water.
I raised my head to see where the water had come from.
Ssshhhhhhh-
“…Sigh…”
Tock-
I stood up, worried that my bedding would get soaked, and tried to find something to catch the water. But an unpleasant sensation from my lower body stopped me.
“…Didn’t expect it today…”
It was my period.
I sluggishly moved and placed a large pot on the bed.
Clang-
The loud, bright sound echoed in the small room, but it did nothing to brighten my mood. I headed into the bathroom to wash off the unpleasant sensation.
Sssshhh-
As warm water soaked my body, I stared blankly at the red water, the same color as my eyes, flowing down the drain.
“………”
I washed my hair, which felt particularly long today, and lathered up my body. It used to take me over an hour because I’d be so embarrassed, but now I didn’t feel anything. I just wanted the unpleasant sensation to go away as quickly as possible.
“Ugh…so annoying…”
I thought that since I woke up early for once, I could clean the house or make breakfast in advance, but even lifting a finger felt like too much effort. I lay back down beside the pot, which was still making a bright clinking sound, and stared at the low ceiling.
“…Ugh…”
It seemed I had dozed off for a bit. Even after washing my sticky body, the bad mood wouldn’t go away.
“…8 o’clock…time to get ready for work…”
Since it was raining so heavily, it would take longer than usual to get to work, especially if I used the shortcut I’d been taking recently. I needed to leave by at least 7:30 to avoid being late.
“Oh, right… the porridge…”
I remembered the instant porridge my younger sibling had given me. Grateful for it, I dragged myself to the kitchen, put the pot on the stove, and added the porridge.
While looking for the porridge, I noticed a sanitary pad still lying on the floor.
“………”
Though it was late, I put on the pad anyway.
“Phew…”
After finishing the porridge and taking some vitamins, I felt a bit better. Since I had been shivering earlier, I put on a thick hoodie and pants and grabbed a large umbrella.
At that moment, a question popped into my mind: Should I wear slippers with bare feet or go with regular shoes? If I wore socks and shoes, they’d definitely get soaked. But going barefoot at work…?
In the end, I stuffed socks into my pocket and put on shoes.
“Wow…”
As soon as I opened the door and climbed the stairs, the rain was pouring down so hard that “downpour” seemed like an understatement. I opened the umbrella and stepped out into the rough weather.
Fortunately, my day wasn’t filled with too much bad luck. The traffic lights were unusually long, and mud splattered onto the shoes my sibling had given me. A strong gust of wind flipped my umbrella inside out, getting me a bit wet, but it wasn’t too bad.
“Hello…”
Barely making it to work on time, I greeted the manager, who was staring out the window.
“Oh, hi… are you okay?”
“Yes? Yes… I’m fine…”
There were fewer customers than usual in the café. Just a few people typing on their laptops or, like the manager, staring blankly at the rain. I passed by the manager, who seemed unusually concerned, and greeted Si-ha.
“Hey…”
“Senior, are you alright today? You look really pale…”
“I’m fine… just give me a bit.”
I entered the staff room, locked the door, and quickly changed. I put on socks, a skirt, and buttoned up my shirt after removing my hoodie, finally putting on my cap.
“…Welcome…”
“Uh… I’d like three iced Americanos to go, two hot café lattes, and four hot Americanos…”
A company worker with heavy dark circles, dripping wet, came into the café and made a large order. It was still morning… Poor newbie.
“I’ll make the hot drinks. You handle the iced ones and help if you can.”
“Okay!”
I continued making the coffee like I usually did. The large machine hummed loudly as I brewed the coffee. I quickly finished the four steaming Americanos and started on the two lattes.
“Have a nice day…”
The office worker, holding coffee in both hands and without an umbrella, braved the rough rain outside.
“…I’ll mop the floor…”
I brought out a large mop and started wiping the wet floor.
“………”
It seemed like a good time to clean everything thoroughly. For several minutes, I scrubbed the café floor until it sparkled. The manager, with a coffee cup in hand from who knows where, kept staring out the window, humming to himself, “Good, good…”
Feeling a sense of accomplishment from the clean floor, I returned to the counter.
“Excuse me, sir…! Your umbrella…”
An elderly man had entered the café and, ignoring the umbrella stand, shook his umbrella over the freshly cleaned floor.
“What?! Can’t I do whatever I want with my umbrella?! I’m leaving soon anyway… Tch, tch…”
Ignoring my attempts to stop him, the old man shook off his umbrella and approached the counter.
“Uh…that… that… What was it again?”
“Here’s the menu, sir.”
“Tch… You should’ve given it to me from the start… What a hassle…”
“………”
“Hmm… Nothing looks good here… Just give me whatever’s most popular.”
“…The most popular item is the Americano. Is that alright?”
“Why would you even ask that?! Do I look like I’d drink that?! Are you foreign or something? In Korea, you’ll get cursed out for this, girl… Look at your bloodshot eyes…”
“………Would you like it hot or iced?”
“In this weather, what do you think I’d want?! How can you not know that? Are you trying to kill me by offering iced in this weather?!”
“………I’m sorry.”
“Tch…”
“Sigh…”
“Take care and please don’t come again~”
As I sighed, the manager approached.
“Don’t take it too hard. That old man is well-known around here. He just lashes out whenever he’s in a bad mood.”
I knew that old man too. I’d met him several times while working here… I think he was the reason I tried my first cigarette.
“…It’s okay… I’ll just clean the floor again…”
“I’ll do it!”
Before I could move, Si-ha had already grabbed the mop.
“…I could’ve done it…”
“You don’t look well today. You’re really pale, and your eyes look a bit dark… Is something wrong?”
“No… just a bit…”
“If you need to rest, let me know. You can leave early whenever you want.”
“…I’m fine.”
“Okay? But let me know anytime.”
With that, the manager disappeared into the staff room. Si-ha was mopping the floor, and I could still hear the rain from beyond the door the old man had left open.
The next few hours were peaceful. Customers properly used the umbrella stand, and no weird troublemakers showed up. Then, ten minutes before the end of my shift…
“……”
“Ahhh! Unnie~ Hello~!”
A girl who looked like a high school student came clomping into the café, not bothering to use the umbrella stand, and ran to the counter.
“……Welcome.”
“Oh my! Unnie, you’re so cold! I always chat in your broadcasts whenever you stream… Don’t you remember?”
“…I’m sorry, I don’t really remember. Would you like to place an order?”
“Hmm… Can’t I just chat with you for a bit?”
“………”
I glanced at Si-ha, who sighed and gave a small nod.
“Sure… just for a little bit.”
“Wow~ I’ll have a caramel macchiato then… What will you have, unnie?”
“…Just give me cold water.”
“Wow~ You’re sooo pretty, unnie! Your hair color is so natural, and your eyes are huge…”
Was she just here to give me compliments? It was overwhelming, but I could handle it.
“Thank you…”
“Your voice is amazing too! Unnie!”
“Huh?”
“Where did you get your face done?”
Um… What was I supposed to say to that? Should I just say it happened suddenly?
“………”
“You don’t want to tell me? That’s too bad… Honestly, you’re so pretty that you don’t need surgery anyway… But you really don’t want to tell me?”
“…Sorry…”
Thunk-
Si-ha slammed the drinks onto the counter a bit harshly and walked into the staff room.
“Ah… damn it, that bastard…”
I thought I misheard, but when I looked back, the customer had an expression that was hard to read.
“So… hmm… your sister! What about him? Does she not appear in the streams?”
“…You f*ck…”
“Customer!!!”
The manager burst out of the staff room and shouted. Since there were no other customers, the girl was startled and looked at the manager.
“Ah, lady… you’re hurting my ears!!”
“Customer! We’re about to close, so please leave now!!”
After a long back-and-forth, the customer finally left, cursing as she went.
“…Sorry…”
“…You did well this week. Let’s call it a day and get ready to go home.”
“…Yes…”
“Are you alright?”
“I’m fine… I’ll go change first.”
When I entered the staff room, I noticed a large portion of the jelly was gone. I popped one in my mouth and started changing my clothes.
“…Su-yeon.”
The lights were off in the café, and the manager was standing by the back door, signaling that the day was done.
“Yes, manager.”
“Do you smoke?”
“…Sometimes…”
“On days like today, it’s better to smoke, even if it’s your first time… It helps clear your mind. Come outside.”
Following the manager outside, I heard the steady downpour. The manager handed me a pack of cigarettes without saying a word.
“……”
I took the cigarette silently and held it in my mouth. The manager lit his cigarette and then lit mine.
“Haah… The atmosphere’s nice.”
“………”
Leaning against the wall, the cigarette I smoked for the first time with this body was incredibly bitter. But it was also sweet.
“I’m heading back to clean up the store. You can go home after this.”
“…Thank you…”
The manager handed me an envelope that was thicker than usual.
“Phew…”
“……”
The door opened, and Si-ha came out.
“Oh… sorry, I’ll put it out…”
“N-no, it’s fine… I’m heading in. Stay strong!”
I watched as Si-ha dashed off with his umbrella, then opened mine.
There was about ten minutes left until I reached home. I walked down a narrow alley, just wide enough for a car but still a bit tight.
“…Why is there a car here…?”
At the end of the alley, a large black van had stopped. The door opened, and a man hurriedly threw something out before getting back in. The black van sped toward me. I quickly moved to the side…
Splash-
“………”
I was suddenly drenched from head to toe.
“…Achoo.”
The van was already far gone, and I started walking again.
“…”
The man had thrown out a small box. Inside was a tiny, living being.
“…Hello…”