chapter 4
4 – Changes in the Body
‘…You should listen to him.’
‘If only I knew how to make a little more concessions like he does.’
Those thoughts flooded her brain.
Niel, who has recently become visibly haggard after giving her blood, was the only thing she could think of when she saw her lover.
If I had lost even once that day,
If I hadn’t said that,
If only the two of you were sitting in front of a campfire and having a glass of warm honey water without saying anything that would break his heart.
I constantly blamed myself for not having met such a terrible fate.
“How to…”
He would periodically feed her his own blood, saying that she would not tolerate holding back her own blood.
In the evening when the sun goes down, in the early morning when the night is deep, and in the morning right before going to sleep.
As he too began to adapt to her lifestyle, his face was becoming more and more haggard.
…It was the worst situation in which the color of blood didn’t turn properly because too much blood had been taken away.
It would be great if I could find some healthy food to feed him and help him get better.
It was an obvious fact that the moment this cursed being even set foot in the village, the people of the church would chase him until he died.
And if at all chance Niel gets revealed that he was hiding her blood by feeding him-
“No, no…!”
He tells himself that he loves him over and over again, and he says with a smile that he’s willing to put up with this much for the person he loves.
I knew very well that it was a blatant lie.
His fading breath and staggering body told him well that he was not feeling well right now.
With that in mind, if you drink a little of his blood and open his mouth, everyone will notice that you are drinking less than usual and push his arm in front of you.
She hated him for not taking care of her, and at the same time, she was infinitely grateful to him for embracing her who had become her monster.
And as his love for him grew even greater than before, so did his loathing of himself.
A cursed being who cannot live without sucking the blood of the one he loves.
I began to think seriously about what it would be like to attack others, but
However, if Niel found out about that fact, he would really think of himself as a monster, so he quit.
He gradually came to think of blood as food, and he shed tears many times because he was so afraid of himself.
At some point, I saw myself driving a fang into his arm and running the blood down his neck.
…His blood was unbearably sweet.
He had never had any drink, any drink, that made her feel so drowsy and uplifted.
Once again, when bright red blood oozes through his skin,
She touched her tongue and tasted it, enjoyed it, and drank it with all her might.
I wondered if his blood was special, or if this was happening because he drank the blood of someone he loved.
Since she had never put her tongue in someone else’s blood, she was left with a mystery she could not solve.
Drinking his blood had other effects besides quenching thirst and hunger.
Every inch of his body was energized, and he felt his condition improve day by day.
Now, even if you intentionally cut your body, you can see that the wound heals in an instant.
Indeed, it was the moment when I realized more than ever that I had become the main character in a ghost story that I hear from time to time.
In addition, recently, I noticed that my body has become more toned and refined than before.
Blemishes and fine wrinkles on her face disappeared without a trace, and her lips were more enchantingly red than ever before.
The arms and legs showed clear muscle lines, and the chest and pelvis… Seemed to have grown a little.
The parts he thought he lacked were supplemented and improved the more he drank his blood.
I could feel that whenever he looked at him, his eyes wouldn’t leave his face and body.
Finally, nails.
Now, the claws were sharp enough to be considered weapons.
As her trial run her fingernails through a piece of wood, she was astonished to see the grooves dug out as she drew them without any snags.
And for some reason, I was able to lengthen and shorten her fingernails at will.
I couldn’t help it that the tip was sharp, and even if I tried to trim it, I had no choice but to stop at the sight of the file sharpening.
A slight exclamation in a body that is becoming more beautiful as the days go by, and a scream at one’s changing identity,
… As she drew her last blood, she felt endless pain as she watched her dying lover.
To put it bluntly,
She was going to live her own lover by her death.
***
Night fell, and she was quickly leafing through her books, leaving him still unsteady.
“Bleeding… Bleeding…”
In the end, there shouldn’t be much difference between sucking blood and shedding a lot of blood.
She was trying to find the best food to feed the patient when he was bleeding profusely.
She read in the dark without lighting a single candle, stacking thick books with small print beside her.
The occasional grunt was piercing through her heart painfully point by point, but she did not think to lessen her pain for herself.
“Please, this is the last book about blood…!”
She had already read and re-read both the combat manual and first aid books.
Because if it’s not in this book… She has to go down to town and ask for her advice.
There was no other way she could think of, even though that was no different than her suicidal behavior to her.
She said, but she can find good fortune in misfortune,
Niel’s personality, which had a habit of reading and collecting information related to her, helped her to find useful information for her.
“I found it, I found it…! I found it… Uhhh, that’s good, thank you lord…”
For patients with severe bleeding –
Though her tears dripped down on the part where she had taken off her luck, she hurriedly wiped her tears with her clothes and ran to see if her ink had smeared.
“Good, good…”
After confirming that her book was in order, she let out a long sigh of relief, wiped her tears away with her hand, and began to read.
“It is good to feed meat, dried fruits, fresh vegetables, beans, fish, eggs, etc. To people with severe bleeding… This is it.”
As for meat, there was venison that had been caught two days earlier, and a pot of meat soup had already been boiled.
“If it’s beans and fresh vegetables… Let’s keep the beans in the soup.”
I took one look at him as he let out a light moan, then stepped into the dark kitchen and poured all the handful of peas that had just been placed on the window into the pot.
Then I headed to him with a bowl of carrots, oranges and raisins that could be eaten raw.
“Niel, wake up.”
“Huh, huh…”
Niel took her shallow breath and stood up holding her hand, staring at her with her blank eyes.
“Come on, try it. Dried fruits and vegetables. They say it helps blood.”
“…Hungry – “
“Stop it, stop it, please…”
Do you know what your condition is like and say that?
He was selfless to the point of frustration and anger.
I’m sure it helped me a lot and I started thinking about love with him.
But now, none other than that personality was torturing him.
Of course, it was entirely her fault that his goodwill turned into pain, and she couldn’t deny that thought.
My heart continued to wear out, and I did not think to stop the tears.
In fact, there have been many times when I thought, ‘I wish he would be stubborn.’ When he was human.
I didn’t like the way he always gave in and was being swayed by himself, so there was a lot of friction,
Actually, he was the one who did not refuse the concession.
And while enjoying the benefits of it as much as he could, he was blaming the weak-hearted man for his fault.
…It was all his fault.
Especially, now.
If you had poured out resentment on yourself and threatened not to give blood,
I hope the guilt in my heart will be relieved even a little bit.
Being whipped by him even a little bit would make me feel like atonement for my sins.
However, his seemingly endless broad heart seemed to make him accumulate more sins.
Contrary to his own wishes, Niel smiled and rolled up his arms.
His own fangs had bitten his arm so many times that he presented himself with that arm full of holes-
“Tell me if it’s not enough, huh?”
I ended up closing my eyes tightly at the sight of him gently touching the wound on his arm with half a hand.
“Stop, stop, please… I’m not hungry anymore. Really…”
I dropped him as he was stroking himself and tried to embrace me, and put the food I brought into his mouth instead.
“Raisins… Long time no see.”
She accepted the pain that weighed down her as she gave him water as she chewed the dried fruit with her dry voice.
His chest kept getting tighter and he couldn’t stop crying.
She stroked him as he fell asleep again, and she herself lay down next to him and closed her eyes to soothe her exhausted spirit.
She did not know how to live her life from now on or how much she would change.
But, at least once in a while, if the reason why your body is changing so beautifully and enchantingly now is because you loved him,
At least I hoped it wouldn’t hurt when he was sucked.
As the thought filled my heart, I felt my fangs move slightly.