She Returned as a Vampire

61 – If you could fill your heart with something like this (完)

I wonder if you didn’t like the village festival.

Or maybe what happened there offended her.

It’s already been two weeks since I returned home, almost clinging to me.

She wasn’t getting out of her room.

With refusal to go out, he sometimes sees me off when I go out to get groceries,

When I come back…

With a slightly broken face, it came running towards me.

Every time I went out, I wasn’t sure exactly what she was doing.

However, the messed up thumb nails and scattered hair.

Looking at the bloody fingernails and the hardened blood near the roots of her hair, there were parts that could be guessed.

I told you many times not to do that, but

Sometimes I even brought clothes with my scent on them and told them not to be anxious.

It’s always like that when I come back.

Besides, the clothes were neatly folded but at the same time very crumpled.

If you look closely, you can see wet marks and holes that look like they’ve been bitten and sucked.

Seeing her restless look at me, I always had to hold her in her arms and comfort her.

She needed my touch, she needed my attention.

…Every time I fall, always telling me it’s okay,

While she said that she didn’t like being in the way,

Always, they waited for me in a state of disrepair.

On the outside, it seems fine.

I and she know very well that her heart is already in tatters.

…

Now I can’t stop her insistence that day and night go back to normal, so in the end I can drink tea in the sunlight again.

She must have adapted to the sunlight to some extent, and it seems that she has reached the point where she can sit outside unscathed if she wears a long-brimmed hat and clothes that cover her entire body.

…It was thanks to the outdoor table in front of me that I felt that the practice of cutting and trimming wood was at least worthwhile.

Whether it’s day or night, I sit here watching the changing scenery with her,

It was a place that gave us time to talk.

…And lately, more and more people have been talking about the condition of her body and mind.

She said it was fine every time.

I said it’s okay if I don’t care, it’s enough if you’re comfortable with it, but

I couldn’t be comfortable.

I repeat this story to her over and over again, even if I keep telling her that I don’t want you to be so anxious –

She showed no signs of changing.

“I have to wait. I’m fine.

When you go out and do your work, I have to wait.

I don’t know when you’ll be back, but I should expect you to come in a quiet house.

It could suddenly disappear one day,

I could meet and leave with another girl…

I still have to wait at home with you.

Like you did.

On a cold winter day, like waiting for me without sleeping with a fire lit.

As much as I was lonely, so am I…”

It’s okay if you don’t.

It’s hard to count now how many times I’ve repeated those words.

Every time I asked, those words came out very calmly and comfortably as a reflex,

Every time that happened, I tried to stop her, tried to scold her, tried to help her, but

Nothing could ever change her.

At least with my will, I couldn’t change her.

In her broken world, my words didn’t seem to help.

I was already a man who was hurt by her,

As a man disappointed in her,

She looked like a man whose heart had left her.

So, everything I said was a lie,

She wants to catch me like that,

To caress,

I was struggling to make myself happy.

She in her own way.

After knowing that, I couldn’t figure out where to start and how far to touch her, so I was wrapping my hair.

A letter arrived that might be of some help to me.

I was startled when a bat with bright black eyes suddenly landed on my shoulder with a letter on it.

It was only after receiving the envelope that I felt relieved and had time to pet him lightly.

How long ago did you stroke it?

Carefully, it landed on my shoulder, flapped its wings, and soon settled down in front of the front door of the house and hung.

I stared blankly for a while at the appearance that seemed to have moved away, then I opened the envelope and read the contents-

—-

To Eli Michel and Niel Pietro.

Hello, I’m not sure if you still remember me.

This is Jeon Yuri writing a letter. And Irina is watching the contents by my side.

First, I heard briefly about what happened to the two of you from the servants I met this time.

We finished our journey and were just about to settle down, when we caught people with a familiar scent in the crowd and asked them –

I met vampires who bowed their heads politely and were very happy.

For now, they are all right. We would like to inform you that we have chosen to place many people under our protection, except for those who have already met the people they will serve.

And secondly, I would like to ask if we can visit again.

Even at this moment, Irina vaguely knows where the two of them live, but it seems polite to ask directly.

If you received the letter in the direction we intended, I’m sure a bat will be waiting for a reply by now.

He likes fruit. If your reply is going to be lengthy, I would greatly appreciate it if you could put a strawberry or a sweet fruit in your mouth.

But if you feed them too much, they’ll be full and won’t fly away, so please don’t treat them too cutely.

My name is Chorni.

Okay, I’ll be waiting for your reply.

I value chance encounters,

Glass.

—-

I felt my head clear slightly at the welcome news that came at such an appropriate time.

I’m sure these two would be able to give proper advice to me and her now.

Anticipating help, I hurried inside the house, grabbed a pen and paper, and wrote down the details before approaching the guy hanging from the ceiling with his head sticking out.

“Now, uh… Chore?”

Looking at him tilting his head, it seemed like he had the right name, so I split the cherry I brought out, pitted it out, and handed him half a piece.

Seeing that, the guy whose nose was hanging wide suddenly came down from the ceiling, clung to my arm, and inhaled a little more cherry scent.

“It’s okay to eat. You have to fill your stomach before flying.”

Hearing that, the guy who took a big bite of the cherry gnawed at the cherry and chewed it away, taking another bite – another bite –

That’s how I ate the whole egg like a crab.

Then it flew into the house a little bit –

“Uh, hey! This is my house… Um?”

Wouldn’t it be like taking a small sip of the water in the cup, then coming back to me and sniffing the stationery I was holding?

“Oh, that’s right. I’m going to leave this to you… But why are you looking at me again?”

I stared at it for a long time because I couldn’t understand the behavior of the guy who opened his mouth once and pointed at it with one wing…

“Can you please wipe your mouth?”

I couldn’t help but admire the fact that he was smarter than I thought.

In the end, I took a handkerchief from his bosom and gently patted his mouth to wipe it off.

After brushing off the debris from the open-mouthed guy’s teeth, he bit down on the letter paper and tried to pull it away from me with force.

“Okay. Now, take it.”

As soon as I let go of it, it spread its wings and flew out of the open door, disappearing into the starlight.

“…What a cute guest.”

For a while, I was grateful to the two who gave me a fresh experience after being hit by the exhausting reality for a while, and I could feel their eyes staring at me from behind.

“Helena?”

She didn’t answer.

Her

Because of her, I turned her head and looked at her—again.

I was shaking again.

“What is that, that bat?”

“I heard you brought a letter, write an answer – “

“That, not that… You, that… That – why… Feed, pet, give…”

“I took care of everything and sent it back. Elena. What’s wrong?”

Trying to touch her hand, I approached her, at least for reasons unknown to me, trembling with her uneasiness.

Her

As she approaches her, she gets more and more withdrawn and withdrawn.

I had to solve a riddle again today.

“Elena, are you afraid of bats?”

She shook her head.

“…Animals came into our house, did you hate that?”

After a little hesitation this time, she nodded slightly.

“I chorni… Didn’t you like being kind to that bat?”

Hmm, he shook his head again.

“So you didn’t like that?”

Ah, that’s right.

Nowadays, I’ve come to know very well that the answer to the question of whether or not to be true is rather the correct answer, so it’s getting easier to at least appease her.

She couldn’t change her behavior, but at least she was able to stop her depression, her self-loathing from becoming more extreme.

“Elena, I told you that I was only looking at you. I was just saying that you had a hard time flying in with the letter. Was that a little unsettling?”

But this time it was a little different.

“It’s not just food…”

“Hmm?”

“…He stroked it. He tickled his hair. He also tickled his chin.

As expected, it’s much better than me… Better than something like me.

Than this kind of woman who clings to you like this and can’t stop thinking about what not to do or doing.”

She now compares herself to her bat and even puts herself down.

“Is it right for me to be a good companion for you?

I keep… Why do I make you tired like this?

Even though I know I shouldn’t do this,

Why do I keep doing this, why?

You said you’d make me happy, but why more… Why, I…”

The woman who said she would follow what I did was getting more and more broken.

I told you that you don’t have to do that, that you’re not this kind of person, so it’s okay not to force yourself, but

She kept forcing herself into a mold that didn’t fit.

It’s so natural that it doesn’t fit, but she laments why it doesn’t suit her.

What to do with her who blames her lack of effort on her own.

Would it be a little better if Irina came and shared her story with her?

Could Yuri give me some hints to help me get through this situation?

I can’t live like this forever.

If I stay by her side, I’m sure she’ll get better.

No, it will look better.

If you have it once, you will want to stay forever.

And if I fall for her even for a second, her situation will definitely get worse.

You can cling to me even more than now.

So… Let her calm down first.

Looking carefully for a way.

***

I wish I could fall asleep comfortably by my side, but I finally fell asleep.

With full of worry and anxiety.

…About me, only for me.

I’m sorry I had no choice but to fill this twisted heart.

This was the only way I could think of to make it so that only I could think of it.

I feel like I’m too late to be accepted as an attractive and lovely woman by you, so I have no choice but to remain like this.

Until one day, until the moment comes when you are completely cut off from the outside world… I have no choice but to do this.

Although we have already placed a layer of illusions around our homes and mountains so that others cannot even set foot in them,

I’m still anxious.

How many misfortunes have I had so far, and how many times have you been caught up in them?

But… But nonetheless,

Every time I cling to you, every time I stimulate your warm heart little by little,

You fill your head with my thoughts bit by bit.

Until I can receive all of that life.

Sorry for being an evil woman.

I’m sorry for being a moth-eating woman.

However,

In order for a devil like me to catch you, who seems to have descended from heaven,

These are the only shallow tricks a b*tch like me can use.

Still, if there’s something I can promise, I’m yours,

Because it belongs only to you.

I hope that will be of some comfort to you.

So I don’t want you to know what I’m doing.

The bat you sent is already in my hand.

That the letter you painstakingly wrote is now in my hands.

…I dare not do these things, I dare not go against your will.

But you can give them a little warning.

Here, my name as well as yours is written in the letter,

I think I can at least give them my own answer as well.

A heart that worries about me,

And the effort to try to heal me.

I hope everything is made entirely of your efforts and your sincerity.

…I don’t want anyone else involved.

I was sick for you,

I want your treatment.

So,

I’m sorry.

Their intervention will not reach you.

Of course, a promise is a promise.

I want to be the one who kills this creature you touch and takes all your warmth, but…

It’s all because of my lack of effort.

And I promised on that road that I would never take a life again.

If I can’t keep this level, then I’m really an idiot with no qualifications.

—-

Glass,

And to Irina.

Unfortunately, I send you two envelopes.

I’m sorry, but I hope you don’t come to Niel’s house with me.

I need him, not you.

I hope he doesn’t care about anything other than me.

I am well aware of my mistakes,

Because I know my mistakes too.

That’s why I want him to be the only one in my time, every moment, even my space.

I hope he will forgive me himself,

I hope he accepts my apology himself.

I don’t know how long that will take, but

I’m pretty sure there’s at least the part that I’m going to enjoy all of this very much.

Because Irina, I dare to believe that you know what I want.

How desperate I am,

Please understand how much I had to pay to win his heart.

Even if they say I don’t deserve it,

At least what’s left of me,

No,

Even the one who became my world is from me,

I hope you show me the last mercy and don’t take away from me the person who stayed by my side.

Please, he prepared to find us,

And if I dare to walk in vain to find a shelter covered by a veil,

I hope I never have to greet you personally.

Please forgive me for repaying favor with enmity.

Helena Heartfield.