Surviving as a Useless Bard in a Game

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A plan set by a struggling commoner, unable to become a villain or a hero, desperately flailing to survive.

It resembled a hero’s tale.

“I’m thinking of becoming famous.”

“…Huh?”

Skylar rubbed his sleepy eyes and then rubbed his ears with his other hand.

It was the action of someone convinced they must be dreaming, still half-asleep, or mishearing.

Becoming famous surely was a high-risk choice. But… I felt this choice was necessary. At least I wasn’t an idiot anymore.

– Body hunters, Church, Empire, Mad King.

Additionally, countless forces targeted the body.

So, for me, with my pink eyes, becoming famous posed immense danger.

I could be ambushed at any moment, or my eyes could vanish while I’m sleeping—or is that too far-fetched?—or I could be kidnapped… that possibility exists, at least.

But what benefits can we gain by ignoring all these risks?

‘Contacting powers.’

First off, why do I want to contact powers?

Let’s start from here.

“Skylar, just listen and decide.”

“…Okay. Honestly, even after hearing all of it, I’ll probably oppose your desire to become famous, but I’ll hear you out.”

“No need to tag that on the end.”

“Go ahead.”

“It’d be better if we travel around collecting bodies first. At least, that’s what I think. What do you think?”

“I don’t see how that relates to becoming famous, but I think…”

I expected Skylar to agree.

The reason was simple.

He’s a Wizard. He makes rational choices. Thus, I thought he’d agree with what I considered a reasonable perspective this time too.

But my expectation was beautifully off the mark.

“That’s not right.”

“…Not right?”

“Collecting bodies would mean killing innocent people just because they have bodies. I think my comrades would certainly… dislike us.”

“But if we kill those who come to kill us first, there shouldn’t be a problem.”

“Huh?”

“You mentioned before that the Empire seeks to maintain the current state, enough to give land to a Mad King just to keep their dominance.”

“…Right.”

“Then, they’ll want to negotiate with those who already possess bodies. To turn them into their strength or simply to not let them fall to others.”

“But that would be a dangerous choice. If they declare they’ll keep them or kill and preserve them, that’s it.”

“Life is a continuous gamble, Skylar. No one hopes for luck or survival without rolling the dice.”

“When you say philosophical stuff like that, it doesn’t really suit you.”

“Really?”

“Right now, you’re the smarter one. I get it for sure.”

“Yep. That’s right. I won’t deny it.”

“I think the foolish you is better. It seems much purer and kinder that way.”

“…Eh?”

My mind, which had been crystal clear until just a moment ago, suddenly got cloudy.

My perfectly planned scheme was crumbling down like a line of dominos.

Crash.

What was left after everything fell apart was nothing but the remnants of a plan. Even picking up the pieces little by little, I couldn’t recall the overall picture well.

Only the desire to become famous remained.

‘Th-that’s better? More? Me?’

Ugh, yeah… I see, that makes sense.

I’m pretty after all.

“…Selina?”

“Yeah…”

“Anyway, let’s talk about this later. We have a lot to do. We’re in Regan now, so we should check requests, and it’s about time we try for the ‘Gold Badge’ too.”

“Got it…”

I hid my flushed face with my hair.

Holding my hair with one hand, I curled it in a circle with the other.

Skylar looked at me with a slightly strange gaze, but I avoided his eyes desperately.

I often acted weird, so he’d understand.

As I expected, Skylar shifted positions and began writing on the scroll.

I let my heated body cool down and threw myself onto the bed.

***

Hot…!

I opened my eyes.

I had fallen asleep without realizing it.

Since I slept in the morning, it was probably just past lunchtime.

My head felt dazed. My thoughts weren’t connecting properly.

It felt different than when I used to be dumb. Back then, it was like being blocked from something, but now it felt like my head was floating away.

As if I felt too great or… not great enough, leaving my head all fuzzy.

It felt like the total quantity of usable nerves had diminished. I was wasting my nerves somewhere. I couldn’t explain exactly where, but there was definitely a waste.

“Skylar….”

“Yes?”

Skylar, who was writing on the scroll with an elegant fountain pen at the desk, turned his head at my call immediately.

He looked a bit like a cute puppy, making me chuckle.

Skylar frowned slightly, thinking I must have called him for no reason, which he was right about.

There’s no reason we need to call each other, right?

Unknowingly, I let out a giggle.

I just felt really good. It was like walking on clouds.

Something that had been stuck in my chest, blocking my veins, was cleared out completely.

“Hehe…”

“W-why are you laughing suddenly?”

“Why?”

“It’s scary.”

“Oh…? So, you have something you’re scared of too…?”

“Don’t come closer with that creepy expression!”

I started moving towards Skylar slowly. For every step I took forward, Skylar took a step back. This completely pointless act repeated several times.

Eventually, Skylar found himself pressed against the wall, having reached a space where he couldn’t retreat anymore.

With a sinister smile on my face, I held his face with both hands.

I wanted to hear more.

…What?

Compliments.

Yeah. I wanted to hear compliments.

“Skylar.”

“…Yes.”

Skylar looked up at me with a tense expression.

Feeling someone look up at me was… somewhat nice. It wasn’t because I was superior to him. Nor was it because I was taller than him.

It was because that person, looking at me, was special to me.

Look at me.

Make eye contact.

Speak honestly.

“Tell me again what you mentioned yesterday.”

“What about?”

“The story you told me….”

“If you’re talking about that strange plan again, my answer is still the same. ‘No.’”

“No, it’s not that. What I want is a different story.”

“…That it’s a good time to challenge the Gold Badge?”

“No, not that either. The next thing you said.”

“I like you as you are now. A little purer and kinder than that smart you, the you right now. Now let go of my face.”

“Okay. Got it.”

I released my hands that were holding his face. Skylar slowly inched sideways to escape.

He had a strangely wary look in his eyes.

I subtly turned my head to glance at the mirror.

My reflection looked still beautiful, slender, sickly, and precarious.

I had no idea what the issue was, but blue smoke was wafting from my body. Like food freshly taken out of the oven.

‘Am I that scary?’

No, being scary wasn’t the problem.

My eyes in the mirror were shining pink. Just a while ago, I had been… tempting Skylar. Without knowing it.

Only then did I comprehend why Skylar was avoiding me. I felt embarrassed.

“…Sorry.”

“What on earth is going on?”

“Huh?”

“It’s one of the phenomena that happen to Wizards, or rather, those who handle Magic Power. An emotional magic overload. Did you have a nightmare?”

“A nightmare… not really. I just felt good. For no reason at all.”

“Has ‘that time’ come?”

“Skylar. Don’t talk about ‘that time’ so openly. Ask more cautiously. If you get slapped by another girl, I won’t know.”

Naturally, ‘that time’ refers to the monthly cycle, menstruation.

The reason I emphasized using three different words three times was because I felt even embarrassed thinking about it myself.

Just like feeling something frightening isn’t really frightening is similar to something embarrassing or shameful that’s repeated internally for encouragement.

After hesitating for a while, Skylar finally opened his mouth with difficulty.

“I suppose it’s alright since I have no one but you, Selina, to talk about this.”

“What do you mean?”

“It means I don’t know any other women.”

“Oh, I see….”

I curled my hair with my fingers.

It was something that happened without me realizing it.

Strangely, my chest felt relieved.

My head was still floating.

It seemed to be a side effect of the ring.

My physical strength had suddenly increased, and my health improved just as dramatically… so I could understand why there’d be side effects.

Anyway, let’s talk about the plan again… and try to persuade Skylar.

If possible, targeting Gold Badge adventurers like Skylar said would be good too.

It was about time to start moving again.

Today, I will definitely succeed in persuading him.