Suspiciously Close Siblings (Going Up)

As the excitement subsided, the self-reproach rushed like mad.

Asshole.

Prickly.

Let's just keep talking

What did you do after getting horny for touching my ear, you stupid bastard?

Even though it was past midnight, I couldn't sleep at all.

Yeah, it's strange to fall asleep.

⋯Fuck.

This is a disaster that happened because I couldn't masturbate.

After that day, I was also psychologically anxious,

That's why there were things that couldn't be resolved properly.

⋯Anyway, it wasn't that normal.

So, what happened yesterday was a mistake.

I'm… At least I'm not crazy enough to have sexual desire for my younger brother.

Oh no, just⋯.

It's because I touched a bad place.

After almost attacking me, I didn't talk to Winter all day.

Rather than not, I couldn't.

I can't even make eye contact.

I was somewhat aware that Winter had special feelings for me.

Still,

Even if he harbors something unreasonable about love feelings towards me, it is a favor sent to his brother who is fine.

Or, since I'm the only man I know, I'm just misunderstanding something.

I just acted as a good older brother because I liked it.

But,

Everything was ruined because of me.

If I'm patient

Maybe someday it will become normal.

⋯I didn't want to.

***

In the end, I stayed up all night with my eyes open.

I tried to solve my sexual desire, but failed.

No matter what I try, I can only think of winter in my head, how can I hit her daughter?

I don't want to lust as a younger brother.

Because I don't want a relationship like that.

"⋯Son."

"⋯Ah, Mom."

⋯Is it morning already?

I need to burn the car too.

Actually, being sleepy is not a big problem.

If Winter sits next to me, I don't think I'll be able to fall asleep right now.

Because I'm too obsessive

"Did you not sleep?"

"⋯I'm a little nervous."

"What are you doing?"

"⋯Somehow."

"Did you fight the winter?"

"Yes?"

"I was eating yesterday, but you guys didn't even talk."

"⋯We had a bit of an argument."

"If you can, I apologize because you are my brother."

"⋯I'll take care of it."

"I get scolded when I become awkward like the old days and like strangers."

"⋯Nothing like that."

I rubbed my eyes and got up from the bed.

Sitting at the table, rummaging through fried eggs,

Winter, who woke up just in time, sat across from me.

⋯I had dark circles in my eyes.

"⋯Hi."

"⋯Good morning, brother."

Her mother looked at us with her pitiful eyes.

No way,

I couldn't raise my head.

He didn't say anything while driving us to school after eating.

Even when getting out of the car.

When I got home and the tension was relieved, I was exhausted.

⋯I think I'm about to collapse.

Without changing clothes,

I just lay down on the bed and fell asleep.

***

"⋯ Dad."

"⋯ Eh."

"⋯Whoa⋯, brother."

I woke up in a hurry to hear the sound of the wind in my ears.

What time is it?

Looking at the clock, it was already 5:30.

⋯Did you come alone?

"⋯Brother."

"Ah… Uh."

"⋯Why didn't you answer the phone?"

"⋯Sorry, it stretched."

When I came to my senses and raised my upper body, I saw Gye-gyeol in a school uniform sitting on the bed.

⋯Should I apologize?

What should I say

"⋯You have an older brother."

"Huh."

"⋯Is there anything you want to say to me?"

"⋯Nothing."

Actually, there are many things I want to say,

I can't do it.

I thought it would sound like an excuse no matter what I did.

"⋯Really?"

"Sorry. I'm not going to pick you up."

"⋯Don't tell me."

"⋯I'm sorry about what happened yesterday."

"Sorry?"

"⋯Wait just for a moment yesterday⋯, I was weird."

"⋯."

I apologized, but my expression only got worse.

⋯Something.

Which option will lead to the correct answer?

At least I could see that lying was the wrong option.

"⋯Brother."

"Uh."

"That… I…"

"⋯."

"⋯Are there times when you don't look like a younger brother?"

"No."

"Then, what about yesterday?"

"⋯It's a mistake."

"Are you making that mistake with your brother?"

"Then you."

"⋯Me?"

"You bit it. Ear."

"⋯Ears?"

⋯ Oh, really.

What is this like when you wake up?

It's more of a problem because you don't know.

⋯It's hard. Really.

"⋯I'm saying don't touch other people's ears carelessly."

"Why?"

I got a little angry when I saw Winter tilting his head as if he didn't know anything.

I thought I was the only one in pain, so I inadvertently stretched my arms toward my ears.

Winter was startled and avoided my hand.

"⋯?"

"Oh, that, sorry. Brother."

"No, I'm not sorry…"

"⋯That, I… I thought you only saw me as a younger brother."

"⋯That's right."

"⋯But, knowing that it might not be the case⋯, I was a bit taken aback⋯."

I can't seem to hear what I'm saying.

Well, even if I think about it, it's not convincing.

At least as a younger brother, he doesn't do that.

"⋯Winter."

"Even so… I also… To some degree…, Because. Something like that."

"⋯Can you listen to me instead of just talking about yourself?"

"Ah, yes."

"⋯I am."

⋯ After.

My face is hot.

I hate to say it honestly.

Still,

There was only this to seal the situation.

I don't like to go wrong

Because I don't want to betray you.

If you want to remain as close siblings,

There was no other way.

"⋯Because you're so precious?"

"Uh, huh?"

"Yesterday, for a moment… It was just a strange situation. My ears are a bit… Sensitive."

"⋯."

"As I always said… I don't want to fall out with you over something like this."

"Yes."

"There are things we can do and things we can't."

"Yes."

"I want to go with you forever. With you."

"⋯."

Winter's face turned red like a blush.

Maybe me too

My voice is trembling now.

Going crazy.

For the first time in my life this feeling.

I think I'm going to vomit.

My heart is pounding.

It wasn't like this even during the exam.

'Cause I still can't stop

Continued talking.

"⋯Because you are precious as a person to person⋯ Ah. Whoa⋯. So…"

Her mouth was dry, and she swallowed once.

Take one deep breath,

I spit out the heart I wanted to convey.

"⋯I want you to be my little brother forever."

"⋯Brother."

"I want you to call me brother."

"It's okay."

There is nothing to hide now.

To be honest,

⋯I have special feelings for Winter.

Admit it.

Whoever is stuck in the military will be like that.

You call me every weekend, don't you fall in love with me?

Of course, that wasn't the only thing…

Still,

It was absolutely not a romantic feeling.

Not even lust.

Just,

Her little brother was just fucking precious.

The best in the world

As much as I want to protect it for the rest of my life.

I didn't want to hand it over to anyone.

I wanted you to be my brother forever.

Disgusting,

Ugly.

It was a selfish monopoly.

I knew long ago that there was a distance from normal family love.

Actually,

When Winter calls his cousin Yohan,

⋯I was a little jealous.

I didn't drink tea.

"⋯Is that a confession⋯?"

"⋯Similar."

"⋯Isn't that something to talk about between siblings?"

"⋯Since they are siblings, I can say that."

"A normal brother and sister."

"⋯That's not it."

Know.

What I'm talking about right now is crazy.

It's nonsense.

What are you asking your little sister for?

Older people say not to date.

It's not that I'm not asking you to meet younger people.

To be my brother for the rest of my life,

It's so disgusting.

If I were your sister, I would have already hit you in the stomach.

And told her mother

My brother is crazy

"⋯Brother."

"⋯Don't call me. Are you ashamed of the dog now?"

"Brother."

"⋯Don't call me."

"Brother."

Are you smiling

Or are you crying

It's ambiguous which one it is, but it keeps calling me with a trembling voice.

I couldn't show my face, so I covered it with both hands.

It's definitely not the kind of expression my brother would show.

"⋯Life is ruined. Because her sister caught her weakness."

"⋯What are you saying?"

"What."

"A subject I already know about my weak points."

"⋯What?"

"It always is. Just poking at my weak points."

"⋯When I."

"⋯Are you an idiot?"

He kept trying to touch my ear as if he was slightly angry.

⋯Did you understand me, winter?

"⋯So, the answer is."

"⋯ Huh?"

"I risked my life to confess. The answer is."

"Yes, are you admitting that this is a confession?"

"Confession is also confession. Answer me. Because I feel like going crazy."

"⋯Uh⋯, so…"

Suddenly, Winter started to touch his nails while hesitating.

⋯Whether I like it or not, I want to hear the answer quickly.

I feel like my heart will burst

"⋯Yes. Good."

"⋯Yes. Thanks."

"Instead, I'll ask you one thing."

"⋯What is it?"

"⋯Call me by my first name for the rest of my life."

"⋯What?"

"Just call me Winter."

She removed her hand and raised her head.

Winter's face came into sight,

⋯.

Whoa.

It's my brother

My sister for life.

Winter Kim.

It doesn't change.

Now, even if you ask me to release it, I won't.

If you want to get married, they will even invade your newlyweds' house and sit there.

My brother is not getting married, so how dare you?

"⋯A bit less disgusting than me."

"⋯That means I'm disgusted too."

"Uh."

"⋯If you keep doing that, I'll touch your ears."

"⋯If you touch your ear here, you could be in real trouble."

"Is your brother not going to be your brother?"

"⋯Do I really have to take that out of my mouth?"

"Uh, that…Really?"

"Don't touch me because I have the confidence to endure for the rest of my life. Because it's hot."

"Yes."

Then he took my hand instead of his ear.

It was warm.

"⋯First of all, we are siblings."

"Huh."

"⋯I think we've gotten along really well these days."

"Yes."

"That, let's keep it in moderation."

"⋯Okay."

"To the point of not being suspicious."

"⋯How close do you have to be to not be suspicious?"

"⋯Sure."

I don't think the sense of distance between a cousin and a sister is questionable.

⋯ But isn't that enough?

I don't know because I've never lived as a normal brother and sister.

"Anyway, even if you look suspicious, you just have to be proud."

"Huh."

"⋯Let's at least live proudly with mom."

"Yes."

This decision,

Please don't go wrong

Hoping,

She prayed once more.

In the hands we hold while facing each other,

She was still sweating.